[EXO] the older brother i never thought i wanted (to love)
Title: the older brother i never thought i wanted (to love)
Pairing(s): Jongdae/Zitao
Rating: NC17
Wordcount: 2677
Summary: Zitao had always wanted to become a kindergarten teacher. He loved his students, his students loved him. And he maybe, just maybe, loved his most adorable student’s older brother. Just maybe.
This was not where Zitao had thought he’d end up, when he first started teaching in a kindergarten. He’d thought that he would enjoy a peaceful - albeit stressful when he had to break up arguments between toddlers - life, playing about with children and generally enjoying his job. Not to say that he didn’t enjoy the situation he was currently in, but those were just technicalities.
And where was this? Well. This was up against his apartment door, hands trying to grab onto something for purchase while the most beautiful, devious, terrible human being was on his knees in front of him, lips wrapped around the tip of his cock, pressing his hips into the door so he didn’t have any leverage to fuck up into that mouth. This was trying not to come onto the bow of those kittenish lips, not to pull at those brown, artfully styled curls. This was torture and Zitao loved every second of it.
“Fuck-” He gasped, hands curling into fists, panting. There was nothing he could except lean back and take it, trying to stop his knees from buckling. It was good, so, so good, and Zitao wondered if this was heaven or hell. “Jongdae!”
Mischievous eyes peered up at him through their owner’s eyelashes, deceptively demure. The contrast of the innocence on his face and the vulgarity of his actions sent Zitao’s mind reeling, and he struggled not to blow his load into that sinful mouth.
Jongdae pulled off his cock, moaning in delight at the debauched image that Zitao offered. He smirked, tongue coming out to swipe against Zitao’s slit, earning himself a strangled gasp. He chuckled, kissing the tip, licking a broad swipe from the base of his cock up to the tip. “Zitao,” Jongdae purred, hand coming up to pump his cock. “Come for me. Come on me. All over me.”
Fuck.
“Tao!” Small feet patter across the room, and Zitao looked down just in time to see little Kim Jongin barrel into his leg. He laughed; This was a daily occurrence. For some reason, Jongin was really, really attached to him. Zitao didn’t know why, but the little boy clung to him like a limpet. It wasn’t as though he minded, since Jongin was a ball of sunshine.
“Good morning, Jongin.”
A frown made its way onto Jongin’s cherubic face, and Zitao laughed again. “Okay, okay, I get it. Nini, right?”
That brought the smile back onto Jongin’s face, adorable and happy and blindingly megawatt. Zitao waited as more children poured into the room, some clinging to their parents and some moving immediately towards the toys, or their friends. He watched as Sehun came to Jongin’s side the moment his mother waved goodbye to him, as little Yifan sat on the cushions by the window and stared forlornly at the image of his mother leaving in her car, as Minseok and Luhan curled into each other, yawning sleepily.
Jongin suddenly squealed, and Zitao smirked. There was only one person who could make Jongin react that way, and that was little Kyungsoo. The other boy was dangerously cute, his eyes large and expressive, lips in the shape of a heart, and the voice of an angel. Jongin evidently thought that he was the most amazing person on earth, given that he never dared to look him in the eye.
Sehun was there for a reason, and that was to act as Jongin’s shield against Kyungsoo.
Tao laughed, gently prying Jongin off his leg and ruffling his hair. "Okay, everyone, settle down."
At his words, Jongin snapped to attention, Sehun mirroring him. Minseok and Luhan uncurled themselves from each other, but linked their pinkies together. Yifan came up to them, pulled along by Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo came to stand next to Jongin, beaming at him, while Yifan stood awkwardly by himself until Luhan took his hand, too.
Zitao smiled. This was the reason he loved his job so much. While there weren't a lot of students, they always managed to make him break out into grins, even early in the mornings. "Good morning, everyone."
"Good morning, Tao!" Came the chorus.
"Now, you all know what to do for the first hour, right? Go ahead."
First hour was for the children to spend as they wished. The youngest three, Minseok, Luhan and Yifan, immediately padded over to the cushions and curled up to sleep again, Yifan snuggled in between the other two. Zitao pressed a quick kiss to each of their foreheads, to which they responded with sleepy smiles. It was nice to see Minseok and Luhan taking care of Yifan. While a few months older than the other two, Yifan was newer to the daycare, and had been wandering around alone for the past few days, occasionally clinging to Zitao.
Jongin and Sehun, mindful of their sleeping friends, took to the other corner of the daycare to turn on the radio. Jongin began to dance, face lighting up in happiness. Sehun sat down, watching Jongin. Zitao laughed, engaging Jongin in a short dance battle that he ended up losing to the toddler spectacularly. Sehun gave him the most unimpressed look, but Zitao mollified him with a cookie, passing one to Jongin, too.
"Tao hyung!" Kyungsoo said softly, tugging on Zitao's pant leg. "Read?"
Zitao smiled, bending down to scoop Kyungsoo into his arms. The boy giggled, burying his face into Zitao's neck. He carried him to the beanbags near the windows and sat down, letting Kyungsoo fidget until he found a comfortable position. Kyungsoo thrust a book at him expectantly, and Zitao opened it, beginning to read.
---
"And he gave me ice cream, even though Papa said I couldn't have it! He's the best big brother ever, Tao!"
Zitao laughed, one hand curled to hold Minseok's weight, the other guiding the cart that Jongin was helping to push. "Is he, now? I thought I was the best big brother ever."
Jongin gasped, eyes widening as though he'd never thought of this, then fell deep into thought, bottom lip jutting out adorably.
"Tao's the day big brother," Minseok offered, voice thick with sleep. He had his head in the crook between Zitao's neck and shoulder, his words slightly muffled. "Your hyung is the night big brother."
There was a pause in which Zitao marveled at how kid's logic worked, then Jongin's face lit up. "Thank you, Minseok!" He cheered, jumping in happiness. Minseok made a pleased sound, then thumped on Zitao's shoulder to be let down, hand making fists in Luhan and Yifan's direction.
Yifan reached out for Minseok, young face frowning in concentration. Minseok was small for his age, while Yifan was tall - taller than even Jongin. He handled Minseok's sleepy weight well, Luhan helping him, letting Minseok down lightly into his seat.
"And, and he sings really well, Tao!" Jongin continued now that Zitao had been relieved of Minseok. "He's the coolest even though he's always busy all the time, and I really, really love him!"
Jongin slowly passed out the bowls of soup, Sehun helping him since he was older. Sehun always seemed to shadow Jongin everywhere he went, something Zitao was a little worried about. He didn't seem to have any incentive to do things on his own. Zitao filed that away for future thought.
With his little helpers taking care of the other children, Zitao was left to think. This Kim Jongdae that Jongin always gushed about, the child's older brother, was an enigma in Zitao's mind. He'd never met said brother, but Zitao knew enough from Jongin's constant praising. Absentmindedly, he began passing out the cups of juice, noting with a smile Jongin giving the fullest cup to Kyungsoo, blushing.
"Hey, Nini," Zitao called, watching Jongin pad over to him, face expectant. He handed Jongin a pack of cookies to hand out to the others, ruffling his hair. "You know your Jongdae hyung?" Jongin nodded enthusiastically. "How could he be the best big brother if he's never even brought you to daycare?"
Never mind that he was manipulating a child just to see his older brother. Jongin's eyes widened again, then he frowned, pouting. "He will!" Jongin said, adamant. "I'll get Dae hyung to come!"
Sehun gave him a look that was entirely too out of place for a child his age, as though he knew exactly what Zitao was thinking. Zitao gave him another cookie.
“So you’re the one that my little brother’s been talking about every time I manage to come home.”
Zitao turned from where he had been waving goodbye to Yifan, the boy staring back after him with wide eyes even as his father tried to secure him down into the child seat of the car. The voice belonged to a slim man, his mouth curled at the edges, given him an almost feline look. Zitao could relate.
He was about to ask who the stranger was when there was a happy shout from behind him, and Jongin zoomed past him instead of into him. Zitao wondered for a moment whether or not the world was ending. “Hyung, hyung, Dae hyung!”
So this was the elusive Kim Jongdae. Zitao watched as he picked Jongin up, his movements a little stiff as though he wasn’t used to the motions, but he managed nevertheless. Jongin quickly cuddled into his brother, burying his face into the other’s neck. Zitao smiled at the sight; It was always adorable to see Jongin like this.
“And you’re the ‘best big brother ever’ that I’ve been hearing about, I presume?” Zitao returned, bending down to pick Sehun up when the boy tugged at his pant leg. Sehun snuffled, clearly put out by the way Jongin had run away from him so quickly upon seeing his older brother. Zitao moved his hand to Sehun’s head in a comforting gesture, and Sehun fidgeted.
Jongdae smirked, and Zitao was hit by a wave of oh my god he’s so attractive what the hell what is with this family and why are they all like this but quickly schooled his features into one of absolute politeness before Jongdae could see anything strange about his facial expression.
“Apparently,” Jongdae said, bouncing Jongin in his arms so that his weight didn’t drag the collar of his shirt down anymore than it was already doing. “My little baby brother, however, has been talking about someone else nowadays. It seems that that person is you.”
Zitao laughed, Sehun stretching over to hit Jongin on the head once before he squirmed to be let down, having seen his parents coming over to him. “Bye,” He mumbled, running off to his mother. Zitao watched him go, smiling indulgently.
“Well, I can definitely see why he’s so entranced by you,” Jongdae commented, and Zitao turned to look at the other, inquisitive. “You’re very… Well.”
“That’s not an answer, you know.”
Jongdae laughed, his hand coming up to pat Jongin where Sehun had hit. “You’re not going to be getting an answer out of me today, sadly.”
There was a part of Zitao that wanted to snort. What made Jongdae so sure that Zitao wanted an answer from him? But the truthful part of him kept pushing, wanting to know what Jongdae had been going to say.
“Another day, then?” Zitao blurted out before he could stop himself.
Jongdae’s lips curled up into a small smile, making him seem more like a cat than he already did. There was something slow, almost sexual about the way he was curling his lips up. It was almost as though he knew what he was doing, and he was doing it intentionally.
“Another day.”
Another day turned out to be a date, when Jongdae turned up with his older brother, Jongdeok, to pick Jongin up. Jongin had run into the both of them, demanding to be carried up by Jongdeok. Jongdae had laughed, ruffled Jongin’s hair, then sauntered over to Zitao.
“Hey sexy.”
Zitao yelped, almost falling over. Jongdae caught him, laughing, and Zitao marveled at how strong Jongdae’s arms were around him. There was something to be said about that, considering how Zitao himself had been practicing wushu for years.
“So, you’re almost done here, right?” Jongdae asked, leaning into Zitao and propping his head up on Zitao’s shoulder.
“Yeah,” Zitao breathed. “Yeah, I am.”
“Great!” Jongdae beamed, pulling away, and Zitao mourned the loss of body heat. “So we can go out, right?”
“Uh,” Zitao blinked. “I- Sure?”
One date turned into two, into three, into meeting up any day they had the time for each other, and Zitao was so, so enamoured with Jongdae. His laughter, the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled too widely, his annoying tendency to question everything that Zitao did, god, Zitao loved it all.
And so, without thinking before he did things, as always, Zitao blurted it out to Jongdae one day, when Jongdae was cuddling up next to him in the cafe that they always frequented.
“I think I’m in love with you.”
There was a stretch of silence in which Jongdae didn’t say anything, and Zitao knew, in that instance, that whatever they’d had between them had been ruined. He shouldn’t have said anything, really. Jongdae didn’t feel the same.
None of them ever did.
Then Zitao was being pulled upwards, and Jongdae was storming out of the cafe. Zitao flinched, trying to jerk his hand back, but Jongdae’s grip was firm.
“Jongdae-”
“Shut up.”
Zitao bit his bottom lip, eyes downcast. He didn’t see where they were going; Didn’t want to know. Was Jongdae going to ridicule him? Was he going to tell the world how Zitao was stupid enough to fall in love with someone like him?
“Give me your keys.”
Looking up, Zitao saw his own apartment building. Jongdae was still demanding for his keys, and Zitao slowly moved to get it for him. Jongdae stabbed the buttons of the elevator aggressively, and if Zitao wasn’t so worried, wasn’t so anxious, he would have made a joke about it. As it was, he had no idea if he’d offended Jongdae in any way.
Jongdae yanked the door open, pulled Zitao in, then slammed Zitao against the door. Zitao hissed at the pain; It would definitely bruise, and he wasn’t a fan of that, honestly.
“Say it again.”
Zitao blinked. “What?”
“Say it again. What you said in the cafe.”
Zitao flinched, head bowing. He wasn’t sure what Jongdae was trying to do, but… “I think I’m in love with you.”
Jongdae exhaled sharply, then dropped to his knees. Zitao stared down at him, confused. “Jongdae, what-”
“Shut up,” Jongdae cut him off, and Zitao flinched again. Jongdae’s expression softened, and he reached for one of Zitao’s hands, bringing it to his cheek and leaning into the touch. Zitao marveled at the softness of Jongdae’s skin. “You don’t know how ridiculously happy that makes me.”
Zitao blinked. He was doing a lot of that, lately, with Jongdae.
“I’m going to blow you, now.”
“What-”
“Shh.”
Which led to Tao being where he was right now, slumped against his door and panting hard, having just released. All over Jongdae, he might add.
“Mm,” Jongdae purred. “You’re so hot.”
“And you’re a menace,” Zitao managed between gasps for air.
Jongdae cuddled up into Zitao, even though his front door wasn’t the best place to cuddle. “But you love me.”
Zitao looked down at Jongdae, who was still gross and covered in his come, but still ultimately beautiful to him. He smiled, softly. “Yeah.”
“Yeah, I do.”
Years later, when Jongdae attended Jongin’s high school graduation, he dragged Zitao along with him. Zitao watched Jongin receive his diploma, watched Kyungsoo make his speech as valedictorian. He watched as Yifan swept Sehun into a hug and kissed him, watched Minseok and Luhan make fun of Jongin even though they themselves hadn’t graduated yet.
And Zitao thinks, as he watches the way Jongdae runs off to make fun of Jongin, that deciding to become a kindergarten teacher was the best idea he’s ever had.
Pairing(s): Jongdae/Zitao
Rating: NC17
Wordcount: 2677
Summary: Zitao had always wanted to become a kindergarten teacher. He loved his students, his students loved him. And he maybe, just maybe, loved his most adorable student’s older brother. Just maybe.
This was not where Zitao had thought he’d end up, when he first started teaching in a kindergarten. He’d thought that he would enjoy a peaceful - albeit stressful when he had to break up arguments between toddlers - life, playing about with children and generally enjoying his job. Not to say that he didn’t enjoy the situation he was currently in, but those were just technicalities.
And where was this? Well. This was up against his apartment door, hands trying to grab onto something for purchase while the most beautiful, devious, terrible human being was on his knees in front of him, lips wrapped around the tip of his cock, pressing his hips into the door so he didn’t have any leverage to fuck up into that mouth. This was trying not to come onto the bow of those kittenish lips, not to pull at those brown, artfully styled curls. This was torture and Zitao loved every second of it.
“Fuck-” He gasped, hands curling into fists, panting. There was nothing he could except lean back and take it, trying to stop his knees from buckling. It was good, so, so good, and Zitao wondered if this was heaven or hell. “Jongdae!”
Mischievous eyes peered up at him through their owner’s eyelashes, deceptively demure. The contrast of the innocence on his face and the vulgarity of his actions sent Zitao’s mind reeling, and he struggled not to blow his load into that sinful mouth.
Jongdae pulled off his cock, moaning in delight at the debauched image that Zitao offered. He smirked, tongue coming out to swipe against Zitao’s slit, earning himself a strangled gasp. He chuckled, kissing the tip, licking a broad swipe from the base of his cock up to the tip. “Zitao,” Jongdae purred, hand coming up to pump his cock. “Come for me. Come on me. All over me.”
Fuck.
“Tao!” Small feet patter across the room, and Zitao looked down just in time to see little Kim Jongin barrel into his leg. He laughed; This was a daily occurrence. For some reason, Jongin was really, really attached to him. Zitao didn’t know why, but the little boy clung to him like a limpet. It wasn’t as though he minded, since Jongin was a ball of sunshine.
“Good morning, Jongin.”
A frown made its way onto Jongin’s cherubic face, and Zitao laughed again. “Okay, okay, I get it. Nini, right?”
That brought the smile back onto Jongin’s face, adorable and happy and blindingly megawatt. Zitao waited as more children poured into the room, some clinging to their parents and some moving immediately towards the toys, or their friends. He watched as Sehun came to Jongin’s side the moment his mother waved goodbye to him, as little Yifan sat on the cushions by the window and stared forlornly at the image of his mother leaving in her car, as Minseok and Luhan curled into each other, yawning sleepily.
Jongin suddenly squealed, and Zitao smirked. There was only one person who could make Jongin react that way, and that was little Kyungsoo. The other boy was dangerously cute, his eyes large and expressive, lips in the shape of a heart, and the voice of an angel. Jongin evidently thought that he was the most amazing person on earth, given that he never dared to look him in the eye.
Sehun was there for a reason, and that was to act as Jongin’s shield against Kyungsoo.
Tao laughed, gently prying Jongin off his leg and ruffling his hair. "Okay, everyone, settle down."
At his words, Jongin snapped to attention, Sehun mirroring him. Minseok and Luhan uncurled themselves from each other, but linked their pinkies together. Yifan came up to them, pulled along by Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo came to stand next to Jongin, beaming at him, while Yifan stood awkwardly by himself until Luhan took his hand, too.
Zitao smiled. This was the reason he loved his job so much. While there weren't a lot of students, they always managed to make him break out into grins, even early in the mornings. "Good morning, everyone."
"Good morning, Tao!" Came the chorus.
"Now, you all know what to do for the first hour, right? Go ahead."
First hour was for the children to spend as they wished. The youngest three, Minseok, Luhan and Yifan, immediately padded over to the cushions and curled up to sleep again, Yifan snuggled in between the other two. Zitao pressed a quick kiss to each of their foreheads, to which they responded with sleepy smiles. It was nice to see Minseok and Luhan taking care of Yifan. While a few months older than the other two, Yifan was newer to the daycare, and had been wandering around alone for the past few days, occasionally clinging to Zitao.
Jongin and Sehun, mindful of their sleeping friends, took to the other corner of the daycare to turn on the radio. Jongin began to dance, face lighting up in happiness. Sehun sat down, watching Jongin. Zitao laughed, engaging Jongin in a short dance battle that he ended up losing to the toddler spectacularly. Sehun gave him the most unimpressed look, but Zitao mollified him with a cookie, passing one to Jongin, too.
"Tao hyung!" Kyungsoo said softly, tugging on Zitao's pant leg. "Read?"
Zitao smiled, bending down to scoop Kyungsoo into his arms. The boy giggled, burying his face into Zitao's neck. He carried him to the beanbags near the windows and sat down, letting Kyungsoo fidget until he found a comfortable position. Kyungsoo thrust a book at him expectantly, and Zitao opened it, beginning to read.
---
"And he gave me ice cream, even though Papa said I couldn't have it! He's the best big brother ever, Tao!"
Zitao laughed, one hand curled to hold Minseok's weight, the other guiding the cart that Jongin was helping to push. "Is he, now? I thought I was the best big brother ever."
Jongin gasped, eyes widening as though he'd never thought of this, then fell deep into thought, bottom lip jutting out adorably.
"Tao's the day big brother," Minseok offered, voice thick with sleep. He had his head in the crook between Zitao's neck and shoulder, his words slightly muffled. "Your hyung is the night big brother."
There was a pause in which Zitao marveled at how kid's logic worked, then Jongin's face lit up. "Thank you, Minseok!" He cheered, jumping in happiness. Minseok made a pleased sound, then thumped on Zitao's shoulder to be let down, hand making fists in Luhan and Yifan's direction.
Yifan reached out for Minseok, young face frowning in concentration. Minseok was small for his age, while Yifan was tall - taller than even Jongin. He handled Minseok's sleepy weight well, Luhan helping him, letting Minseok down lightly into his seat.
"And, and he sings really well, Tao!" Jongin continued now that Zitao had been relieved of Minseok. "He's the coolest even though he's always busy all the time, and I really, really love him!"
Jongin slowly passed out the bowls of soup, Sehun helping him since he was older. Sehun always seemed to shadow Jongin everywhere he went, something Zitao was a little worried about. He didn't seem to have any incentive to do things on his own. Zitao filed that away for future thought.
With his little helpers taking care of the other children, Zitao was left to think. This Kim Jongdae that Jongin always gushed about, the child's older brother, was an enigma in Zitao's mind. He'd never met said brother, but Zitao knew enough from Jongin's constant praising. Absentmindedly, he began passing out the cups of juice, noting with a smile Jongin giving the fullest cup to Kyungsoo, blushing.
"Hey, Nini," Zitao called, watching Jongin pad over to him, face expectant. He handed Jongin a pack of cookies to hand out to the others, ruffling his hair. "You know your Jongdae hyung?" Jongin nodded enthusiastically. "How could he be the best big brother if he's never even brought you to daycare?"
Never mind that he was manipulating a child just to see his older brother. Jongin's eyes widened again, then he frowned, pouting. "He will!" Jongin said, adamant. "I'll get Dae hyung to come!"
Sehun gave him a look that was entirely too out of place for a child his age, as though he knew exactly what Zitao was thinking. Zitao gave him another cookie.
“So you’re the one that my little brother’s been talking about every time I manage to come home.”
Zitao turned from where he had been waving goodbye to Yifan, the boy staring back after him with wide eyes even as his father tried to secure him down into the child seat of the car. The voice belonged to a slim man, his mouth curled at the edges, given him an almost feline look. Zitao could relate.
He was about to ask who the stranger was when there was a happy shout from behind him, and Jongin zoomed past him instead of into him. Zitao wondered for a moment whether or not the world was ending. “Hyung, hyung, Dae hyung!”
So this was the elusive Kim Jongdae. Zitao watched as he picked Jongin up, his movements a little stiff as though he wasn’t used to the motions, but he managed nevertheless. Jongin quickly cuddled into his brother, burying his face into the other’s neck. Zitao smiled at the sight; It was always adorable to see Jongin like this.
“And you’re the ‘best big brother ever’ that I’ve been hearing about, I presume?” Zitao returned, bending down to pick Sehun up when the boy tugged at his pant leg. Sehun snuffled, clearly put out by the way Jongin had run away from him so quickly upon seeing his older brother. Zitao moved his hand to Sehun’s head in a comforting gesture, and Sehun fidgeted.
Jongdae smirked, and Zitao was hit by a wave of oh my god he’s so attractive what the hell what is with this family and why are they all like this but quickly schooled his features into one of absolute politeness before Jongdae could see anything strange about his facial expression.
“Apparently,” Jongdae said, bouncing Jongin in his arms so that his weight didn’t drag the collar of his shirt down anymore than it was already doing. “My little baby brother, however, has been talking about someone else nowadays. It seems that that person is you.”
Zitao laughed, Sehun stretching over to hit Jongin on the head once before he squirmed to be let down, having seen his parents coming over to him. “Bye,” He mumbled, running off to his mother. Zitao watched him go, smiling indulgently.
“Well, I can definitely see why he’s so entranced by you,” Jongdae commented, and Zitao turned to look at the other, inquisitive. “You’re very… Well.”
“That’s not an answer, you know.”
Jongdae laughed, his hand coming up to pat Jongin where Sehun had hit. “You’re not going to be getting an answer out of me today, sadly.”
There was a part of Zitao that wanted to snort. What made Jongdae so sure that Zitao wanted an answer from him? But the truthful part of him kept pushing, wanting to know what Jongdae had been going to say.
“Another day, then?” Zitao blurted out before he could stop himself.
Jongdae’s lips curled up into a small smile, making him seem more like a cat than he already did. There was something slow, almost sexual about the way he was curling his lips up. It was almost as though he knew what he was doing, and he was doing it intentionally.
“Another day.”
Another day turned out to be a date, when Jongdae turned up with his older brother, Jongdeok, to pick Jongin up. Jongin had run into the both of them, demanding to be carried up by Jongdeok. Jongdae had laughed, ruffled Jongin’s hair, then sauntered over to Zitao.
“Hey sexy.”
Zitao yelped, almost falling over. Jongdae caught him, laughing, and Zitao marveled at how strong Jongdae’s arms were around him. There was something to be said about that, considering how Zitao himself had been practicing wushu for years.
“So, you’re almost done here, right?” Jongdae asked, leaning into Zitao and propping his head up on Zitao’s shoulder.
“Yeah,” Zitao breathed. “Yeah, I am.”
“Great!” Jongdae beamed, pulling away, and Zitao mourned the loss of body heat. “So we can go out, right?”
“Uh,” Zitao blinked. “I- Sure?”
One date turned into two, into three, into meeting up any day they had the time for each other, and Zitao was so, so enamoured with Jongdae. His laughter, the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled too widely, his annoying tendency to question everything that Zitao did, god, Zitao loved it all.
And so, without thinking before he did things, as always, Zitao blurted it out to Jongdae one day, when Jongdae was cuddling up next to him in the cafe that they always frequented.
“I think I’m in love with you.”
There was a stretch of silence in which Jongdae didn’t say anything, and Zitao knew, in that instance, that whatever they’d had between them had been ruined. He shouldn’t have said anything, really. Jongdae didn’t feel the same.
None of them ever did.
Then Zitao was being pulled upwards, and Jongdae was storming out of the cafe. Zitao flinched, trying to jerk his hand back, but Jongdae’s grip was firm.
“Jongdae-”
“Shut up.”
Zitao bit his bottom lip, eyes downcast. He didn’t see where they were going; Didn’t want to know. Was Jongdae going to ridicule him? Was he going to tell the world how Zitao was stupid enough to fall in love with someone like him?
“Give me your keys.”
Looking up, Zitao saw his own apartment building. Jongdae was still demanding for his keys, and Zitao slowly moved to get it for him. Jongdae stabbed the buttons of the elevator aggressively, and if Zitao wasn’t so worried, wasn’t so anxious, he would have made a joke about it. As it was, he had no idea if he’d offended Jongdae in any way.
Jongdae yanked the door open, pulled Zitao in, then slammed Zitao against the door. Zitao hissed at the pain; It would definitely bruise, and he wasn’t a fan of that, honestly.
“Say it again.”
Zitao blinked. “What?”
“Say it again. What you said in the cafe.”
Zitao flinched, head bowing. He wasn’t sure what Jongdae was trying to do, but… “I think I’m in love with you.”
Jongdae exhaled sharply, then dropped to his knees. Zitao stared down at him, confused. “Jongdae, what-”
“Shut up,” Jongdae cut him off, and Zitao flinched again. Jongdae’s expression softened, and he reached for one of Zitao’s hands, bringing it to his cheek and leaning into the touch. Zitao marveled at the softness of Jongdae’s skin. “You don’t know how ridiculously happy that makes me.”
Zitao blinked. He was doing a lot of that, lately, with Jongdae.
“I’m going to blow you, now.”
“What-”
“Shh.”
Which led to Tao being where he was right now, slumped against his door and panting hard, having just released. All over Jongdae, he might add.
“Mm,” Jongdae purred. “You’re so hot.”
“And you’re a menace,” Zitao managed between gasps for air.
Jongdae cuddled up into Zitao, even though his front door wasn’t the best place to cuddle. “But you love me.”
Zitao looked down at Jongdae, who was still gross and covered in his come, but still ultimately beautiful to him. He smiled, softly. “Yeah.”
“Yeah, I do.”
Years later, when Jongdae attended Jongin’s high school graduation, he dragged Zitao along with him. Zitao watched Jongin receive his diploma, watched Kyungsoo make his speech as valedictorian. He watched as Yifan swept Sehun into a hug and kissed him, watched Minseok and Luhan make fun of Jongin even though they themselves hadn’t graduated yet.
And Zitao thinks, as he watches the way Jongdae runs off to make fun of Jongin, that deciding to become a kindergarten teacher was the best idea he’s ever had.