In The Rushes Of My Mind...

[mind_wire]

Hrm. Just when I thought things were going well with Ilinca (Muffin) the distance starts to form. Hopefully I'm just being weird about things and everything will be fine once I see her Monday, post-May Retreat. It's difficult trying to form a relationship with someone you have already slept with 8 months ago, and then sort of left behind

Comments

[joejack]

Love is ridiculous, especially when looking at it from my position. It completely evades any sort of rational classification, and since my mind at it's best runs on the scientific method, this love shit frequently causes errors. To avoid errors, I like to render it logical using empirical data, which always brings me back to the idea that all behavior, complex as it may be, is a product of some biochemcal system. And so I am cold and nerdy.

I guess if you can handle the possibility of an emotional bluescreen, it's alright.

Just remember to be responsible with other people's emotions. Not enough of that shit goin' 'round these days.

[mind_wire]

Of course...that is what I am most concerned with. Last time I was going through this phase I hurt so many different people just because they all thought I could settle down with them. So did I, but it was a brief illusion of being content as opposed to a long-term condition that I felt. Muffin and The Boy were two of these people...I'm lucky that they're even considering giving me a second chance.

I don't want to hurt anyone like that ever again.
I've decided that my best move is to just see these people more as friends and once I truly know who they are and what they stand for, and what makes them shine then I might allow myself to try something further.
I'm scared of hurting these people...

[joejack]

I guess it has a lot to do with what you're after. If I was after something very serious, but wasn't quite sure with someone I was seeing, I'd keep the notion of any such thing to myself in order to keep them from getting the wrong impression.

I am not after any such thing, in fact a serious relationship with someone in the typical fashion could only serve to block or distort the things that I am currently after, which I can assure you are many, many times more ridiculous and confusing than this form of love.

But we are rather different people. We are both young people, however, and so should always remember that we have a lot to learn and/or don't really know shit about beans, probably.

[mind_wire]

Mm, but of course Yan, the most efficient way to get to know beans is to start planting them ;)

[_rainbowslut_]

"I'm glad the Universe has brought me back to her, though."

"We've been doing a lot of work with energies"

"He's such a bright radiant spirit."

"It might just lend me the solace and the opportunity for meditation that I require."

FUCKING HIPPIE.

[mind_wire]

As insightful as always, Leash.

[_rainbowslut_]

Of course!

[mind_wire]

Well of course!