WARNING, THIS ISN'T QUTE A NOVEL, BUT IT IS A SHORT STORY AT THE LEAST, SO READ IT ONLY IF YOU'VE GOT TIME AND AT LEAST KIND OF CARE ABOUT ME. OR SKIM. OR WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE IN YOUR BED WITH SOME POPCORN. BUT I REALLY NEED HELP.
I had been training a new girl most of the day which was fun and they called me into their office after I got done with my shift. I told the GM a couple days ago that I had decided to pretty much not go back to school next semester... again. I'm so close, but still so far away, and don't have the... (movivation, desire, mental state, concentration.... insert adjective here since I can't find one) to continue with my education for the next...? (unspecified period of time)
Well, the GM told the owner, who thought it would be a good idea to go and confuse me even further. Eliots is opening a new store in May-ish, and he told me I had what he was looking for to fill a ranking position there. His exact words were "Assistant Manager" but that's a very vague thing as we don't really have titles to our positions, but it's a full-time, salaried job. He made it clear that he wasn't giving me a job offer at the time, but I'm reasonably sure if I went in there and committed myself to it he'd hand it to me.
My original premise for taking more time away from school was to work my ass off and save some more money up with the intention of putting myself through at least one of my remaining 3 semesters here. By no means am I a work-a-holic, but I enjoy working and am capable of putting 60 hour weeks in. I get much more satisfaction by getting a big-ass paycheck than I do getting an A on a test. I can wake up after zero sleep and go work. I can't wake up even for my 11AM class. I know my priorities are backward, at least as far as the status quo is concerned. School just isn't important enough to me to justify being in it at this time. I don't even want to be an engineer, but nonetheless I do want to graduate, sometime.
The position that I would be given would be full-time and salaried, like I said. It would also require a significant amount of training, especially because I'm only a lowly hourly employee right now (even though I've pulled a couple emergency manager shifts). I know how to do 100% of my job, 100% of a drivers job, and probably 75% of what an hourly shift manager does, but this goes well beyond that. As a result of the training I'd be expected to do, I'd be expected to stay on board for a significant amount of time, well after I'd have graduated. I can guarantee I wouldn't be making close to what I would be getting paid as an engineer, probably half (at least initially) if I'm lucky.
The only ONLY reason I'm considering it is because the only way I know I can graduate is by maturing. And this job will definitely force me to mature. I need to fucking grow up but I don't think I'm going to do it on my own anytime soon.
I really need to talk to someone I trust about this. But the only people I trust are my parents and my friends. Both of which I know will judge me for dropping out of school. I really don't know anyone I can trust to do what's right for me except me, and I'm one indecisive bugger.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE comment if you read this. I really do trust your judgement (pretty much the 1 of you that actually livejournals still)