(no subject)
so puff daddy (i refuse to call him anything but...he's lucky i'm not calling him assface because that's simply what he is) hosted this year, and apparently that means that every single performer, nominee, and presenter must be a THUG. when the best "artists" there are green day....it's time to kill yourself.
the american airlines arena looks like the apollo tonight...how do i put this? let's just say usher is the whitest dude present at the 2005 vmas. yeah, go ahead, call me a racist. tell me i don't appreciate rap music. tell me i'm just bitter that the strokes weren't there. well, two of those three statements are true. i am not a racist. but mainstream rap music is the downfall of western civiliaztion. except missy elliot, because she's awesome. ok i lied. there are a lot of exceptions. kanye west is awesome (i'm not a fan of his songs, but the fact that he has intelligent things to say and is in a lot of was the antithesis of the modern hip hop artist makes him really. fucking. cool.), jay z's "99 problems" was awesome, usher's "yeah" was damn catchy, and for some reason i want to let snoop dogg slide. ludacris is awesome half of the time. i guess i appreciate anyone who has something innovative and original to offer. 50 cent? 50 cent is a neanderthal. 50 cent can't recite the alphabet. and usher, i know you think you're really hot and everything, and your abs are ridiculously muscular and you get lots of colonics so your ass hole is spic and span and you're a bagillionare, but you're probably my height. and you have the face of an eight year old.
does anyone remember when PEARL JAM would show up to the vmas? or BILLY IDOL? or NIRVANA? or REAL actors and REAL performers and ROCK STARS? or even BRITNEY FUCKING SPEARS? BRITNEY SPEARS WAS TOO GOOD TO COME THIS YEAR. THAT'S HOW BAD IT WAS. when the fucking killers come on to perfom and you say to yourself "oh thank god! finally, a REAL band," the apocalypse has arrived. i found myself wanting christina aguilera and justin timberlake to show up and dance around in mickey mouse ears. that would have been refreshing.
do we really need "best hip hop artist," "best rap artist," "best r&b artist," and "best dance video," as well as the mtv2 award nomineeds being about 40% rap? not that i think all "black music" can be solely defined as "rap," but why is there still a "best rock video" category? what the fuck is "rock," anyway? if you're gong to put the foo fighters, weezer, and the killers all in the same category, something is horribly wrong. they may as well have just called it "best white dude band video."
i have a huge problem with gwen stefani. huge. gwen, you're boring. the whole marilyn monroe/debbie harry thing was something i thought of when i was probably twelve years old. when you were still wearing plaid bondage pants and playing watered down ska music. you're not cool. you're not hip. you're not stylish. and you're sure as hell not original. and leopard print is never cool, and it doesn't look good on anyone, and even you cant pull it off. you're too thin, you can't sing, and you're pushing forty. i have hated you since i was eleven and you stole gavin rossdale away from me. and by the way, you need a better publicist, because you keep revealing FAR too much information about yourself in interviews, such as "i'm starving myself" and "i'm depressed." pretty soon people are going to stop giving a shit about you. you need a new act. maybe you should dye your hair brown....it looked hot in that one video.
i hate the black eyed peas. i hate them. i hate that we had to see every single fucking reaction shot from them ever four seconds. and i hate fergie. i hate that she stood up every time some hip hop artist would perform, especially when fucking mc hammer was on (i dont have enough time to talk about him. maybe some other time). fergie, i have news for you. you are not black. you are white. you're probably irish. and you pee your pants. sit the fuck down. SIT. DOWN.
i must say that i'm royally really pissed off that my chemical romance didn't win the mtv2 award. i am not a fan of this band (due to the fact that i am not a 14 year old fat chick with dyed black hair, over plucked eyebrows, and acne), but COME ON! helena is one of the catchiest songs to be played on that godforsaken channel in a very very long time. and fall out boy plain sucks. YEAH I SAID IT! I SAID IT! fall out boy is horrible. they're the new found glory of the chicagoland area. and i shouldn't have to feel loyal to them because of where i live. if i liked every band from chicago out of obligation, i would be listening to disturbed. you think about that. and i know i'm going to get shit for making fun of fall out boy, because chances are, someone on my livejournal friends list is friends with someone who is friends with someone who is dating one of them (oh shit...i just realized that what i just said actually IS true...)
but i have to go now. "la gasolina" is on. and whoever the asshole is that is performing it isn't even rapping any of the words.
-britt
ps. after i typed all of this, dane cook came on. and it was like a light at the end of a very dark, smelly tunnel.