You are the hero of the revolution, and I salute you! I will do my utmost to remember this for myself when I hear these things that make me feel shitty for not being social and *thank you* for providing so much constructive and proactive suggestions.
Also, I have at least 2 work functions this week that are making me want to just go hide.
This is an awesome "how to care for Mink" post and I'm glad to have read it. But phrasing it as a prescriptive "how to care for people who have struggles" is... not great. You have those emotional reactions to those phrases, but I think a lot of other people who have struggles with similar seasonal issues (myself included sometimes) have very different internal experiences of those statements. I don't think that everyone who says "I'm sad you're leaving" is prioritizing their own needs over the person they're speaking to. I'm sorry that saying "actually I'm not going to that event" makes you feel like a jerk, but I think it's a perfectly reasonable thing to say that shows you know who you want and need.
Which is to say: this stuff is complicated and hard, and knowing what you want and need and telling people what you'd like from them is awesome! But I don't think those wants and needs are universal, even among introverted folks who are overwhelmed by the social obligations of the season.
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Also, I have at least 2 work functions this week that are making me want to just go hide.
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But phrasing it as a prescriptive "how to care for people who have struggles" is... not great. You have those emotional reactions to those phrases, but I think a lot of other people who have struggles with similar seasonal issues (myself included sometimes) have very different internal experiences of those statements. I don't think that everyone who says "I'm sad you're leaving" is prioritizing their own needs over the person they're speaking to. I'm sorry that saying "actually I'm not going to that event" makes you feel like a jerk, but I think it's a perfectly reasonable thing to say that shows you know who you want and need.
Which is to say: this stuff is complicated and hard, and knowing what you want and need and telling people what you'd like from them is awesome! But I don't think those wants and needs are universal, even among introverted folks who are overwhelmed by the social obligations of the season.
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