hay guys haaaaay
so, i have been entirely unbusy with this unemployment gig! as those of you who hate yourselves enough to follow my tumblr/twitter are well aware I have been spending my time overinvesting in death note
Which BY THE WAY is failing to provide me with the whiny catharsis I need. There's Second Chances which is very much one of the things i seriously required in a death note fic and it stands at 397,110 words (it has arcs, okay) except that it's a WORK IN FUCKING PROGRESS. and then there was another one that was over 100,000 words and a no-note AU and clipping along well and I was enjoying it right up until the author got jack of writing it and went for a big epic suicide out of almost nowhere and WHY IS EVERYONE TRYING TO RUIN MY LIFE??? too much time shipping fairly major pairings in comically oversized fandoms has left me entitled as shit, apparently.
so now i'm trying to tell myself a story except that's pretty terrible as well because writing prose feels kind of like punching myself directly in the throat and also i'm bad at it. not in a 'baaaw reassure me' way but in an 'i'm that person who writes stories and then everyone politely turns away because motts' way. which i'm not crying myself to sleep over or anything? but it's annoying because i have IDEAS that seem grate right now. give me a month and i'll be as mottsed out as everyone else. only there's nobody i know irl who's in a position to listen to me whinge at them about it so instead i whinge at twitter because that is just how i roll, son.
i'm trying to come back from my ~rage quit~ but i keep getting testy about the scanlationers life choices which i think is me just having a cry also i am not all that invested in evil!Light? ryuk you need to troll people more actively because i will hear all about you trolling everyone forever for the actual and incredible lols. i might watch the anime and come back to the manga after, also i'm pretty sure the live action movies have entered my permanent rotation already if the excited flapping i was doing is any indication (which it is).
basically if you want to talk to me about death note then i will give you a 000 line directly to my heart, save it to your phone under 'debbie harry' because you can call me any, any time
THIS IS THE POINT TO START READING IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT DEATH NOTE, PROBABLY
also I've been listening to about eight Vanessa Carlton songs on repeat for a while now. occasionally i try to change it up and then just end up going "but but but HE SITS BEHIND A DESK OF MAHOGANY ;__________;" at myself and changing it back.
been having trouble with the sleeping schedule, but that should mostly work itself out today.
uh, what else have i been doing? i've stared through tsn fandom pretty hard because telling myself i'm not going to watch something is kind of a joke at this point, also marvel movies.
captain america didn't make me pull my own hair, which is pretty impressive considering how epic the chip on my shoulder about the USA and WWII is, but I don't actually care that much about steve except to say that Cap is very sweet but I think I like him more as the massive douchebag he was in the Ultimates, and speaking of Ultimates I will always and forever be a little sad about any casting of bruce banner that isn't steve buscemi.
i'm kind of invested in Loki because bitter kids of uneven parenting is kind of a thing i have, or so it turns out.
Soul Punk is exactly as fucking amazing as I was expecting it to be, but I'm a 24/7 P Steezy Appreciation Station from now until the sun burns out, so no surprise there.
i've got 14 hours before i can sleep, talk to me about things! ANY THINGS! ALLLLLL THE THINGS. otherwise i'm just going to go and watch The Judgement and cry again. MOST IMPORTANT PERSON ;______________;
Which BY THE WAY is failing to provide me with the whiny catharsis I need. There's Second Chances which is very much one of the things i seriously required in a death note fic and it stands at 397,110 words (it has arcs, okay) except that it's a WORK IN FUCKING PROGRESS. and then there was another one that was over 100,000 words and a no-note AU and clipping along well and I was enjoying it right up until the author got jack of writing it and went for a big epic suicide out of almost nowhere and WHY IS EVERYONE TRYING TO RUIN MY LIFE??? too much time shipping fairly major pairings in comically oversized fandoms has left me entitled as shit, apparently.
so now i'm trying to tell myself a story except that's pretty terrible as well because writing prose feels kind of like punching myself directly in the throat and also i'm bad at it. not in a 'baaaw reassure me' way but in an 'i'm that person who writes stories and then everyone politely turns away because motts' way. which i'm not crying myself to sleep over or anything? but it's annoying because i have IDEAS that seem grate right now. give me a month and i'll be as mottsed out as everyone else. only there's nobody i know irl who's in a position to listen to me whinge at them about it so instead i whinge at twitter because that is just how i roll, son.
i'm trying to come back from my ~rage quit~ but i keep getting testy about the scanlationers life choices which i think is me just having a cry also i am not all that invested in evil!Light? ryuk you need to troll people more actively because i will hear all about you trolling everyone forever for the actual and incredible lols. i might watch the anime and come back to the manga after, also i'm pretty sure the live action movies have entered my permanent rotation already if the excited flapping i was doing is any indication (which it is).
basically if you want to talk to me about death note then i will give you a 000 line directly to my heart, save it to your phone under 'debbie harry' because you can call me any, any time
THIS IS THE POINT TO START READING IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT DEATH NOTE, PROBABLY
also I've been listening to about eight Vanessa Carlton songs on repeat for a while now. occasionally i try to change it up and then just end up going "but but but HE SITS BEHIND A DESK OF MAHOGANY ;__________;" at myself and changing it back.
been having trouble with the sleeping schedule, but that should mostly work itself out today.
uh, what else have i been doing? i've stared through tsn fandom pretty hard because telling myself i'm not going to watch something is kind of a joke at this point, also marvel movies.
captain america didn't make me pull my own hair, which is pretty impressive considering how epic the chip on my shoulder about the USA and WWII is, but I don't actually care that much about steve except to say that Cap is very sweet but I think I like him more as the massive douchebag he was in the Ultimates, and speaking of Ultimates I will always and forever be a little sad about any casting of bruce banner that isn't steve buscemi.
i'm kind of invested in Loki because bitter kids of uneven parenting is kind of a thing i have, or so it turns out.
Soul Punk is exactly as fucking amazing as I was expecting it to be, but I'm a 24/7 P Steezy Appreciation Station from now until the sun burns out, so no surprise there.
i've got 14 hours before i can sleep, talk to me about things! ANY THINGS! ALLLLLL THE THINGS. otherwise i'm just going to go and watch The Judgement and cry again. MOST IMPORTANT PERSON ;______________;