Rediscovering Us
Pairing: EXO: Jongin(Kai)/Sehun
Genre: Angst/Fluff/Romance
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Warnings: small scene with bullying
Length: Oneshot
Word count: 8.4k
“You have to make it romantic okay? He’ll love that.” Baekhyun grinned.
--------------
Sehun grit his teeth and looked away, immersing himself in watching the trees flit past the window of the car. He was positively seething, both of them having unfortunately short tempers - they just dealt with them in different ways.
Sehun was the kind to have to be left to his own devices to simmer quietly, Jongin was the type to vent his frustrations physically, and needed to move about. The small tiff had started out petty, but that hardly mattered when neither of them would let go of their pride to apologise first. He had been point-blank ignoring his boyfriend for more than an hour, and the sun was starting to set in the distance, spilling a warm yellow-pink hue across the sky.
The ancient Range Rover Vogue wasn’t the smoothest ride, but it had been gifted to Jongin two years ago on his eighteenth birthday and it didn’t take very long for the forest-green moving metal cage to worm its way into his heart.
Sehun glanced at Jongin out of the corner of his eye, wanting to put the argument behind them, but stubbornly sighed instead, and recommenced watching the clouds. It was only a half hour later when a sputter and a gurgle were issued from the vehicle, before it clambered lazily to a stand-still. Sehun wordlessly turned to look Jongin in the face, but he looked as perplexed as Sehun felt, “It says we’re not out of gas…. But?” His eyebrows furrowed momentarily, but then dismay clouded his handsome features. He sighed and reluctantly thumped the glass above the fuel meter, slumping onto the steering wheel when the dial jumped and swung past the zero mark, right into the red ‘reserve fuel’ area.
Sehun’s eyes widened, “Don’t we have any in the back?” Jongin was already shaking his head before the question had fully left his lips. He look back out of the window and properly took in their surroundings, they had reached one of the quieter stretches of the route, surrounded only by trees and other foliage as far as the eye could see.
“Look, I know how to get to the closest town from here,” He pulled a compass out of his holdall, and snagged one of the many maps they’d picked up at the last stop, “I’ll try and hurry, but if someone comes by, see if they can help.” With that, he left. Sehun sighed at his disappearing back; he probably wasn’t ready to forgive Sehun for the harsh words exchanged, and the younger tried not to let that get him down too much, instead moving to distract himself. He reckoned Jongin would take around an hour to get back to him, so he pulled out the sketchbook he’d bought him a month before the trip and ran his fingers over the cheesy photo of the two of them taped to the inside cover, he smiled unknowingly when his touch lingered on the messy ‘I love you Sehun-ah!’ scrawled in the bottom left corner.
He flipped to the next available page and dug around the compartments of the Rover for a pencil, the amount of time he spent in the vehicle made him certain that he’d find one. It didn’t take long for his fingertips to brush against a familiar writing implement under Jongin’s seat, and he pulled it out with flourish, a small victorious whoop leaving his lips.
--------------
Sehun stretched his muscles and rubbed at his sore neck. The time since Jongin had left to get fuel was quickly reaching the two hour mark, and you didn’t have to be a genius to tell that Sehun was getting a little more than worried. His tongue would dart out to lick at his lips, and he would shift in his seat, knees pulled up to his chest long ago. His phone was hanging uselessly in his grip because none of his calls would go through, and the only thing stopping him from climbing out of the Vogue was the fact that he’d finally noticed how dark it had gotten. He felt a pang of anxiety when he’d assessed that the only source of light he was going to get was the one from his swiftly draining phone.
It was when the skies had shifted to being more dark than light that Sehun had to hide his face between his knees. If I can’t see it, it’s not there. Granted, it didn’t seem like closing his eyes was any better, but it was pretty terrifying sitting in a freezing vehicle in the pitch dark, where you wouldn’t be able to tell another’s presence unless it was pressed against the glass.
--------------
Jongin tried his best to sprint back to where he knew the car was, thoughts only clicking when he’d left the petrol station to have a child exclaim that the dark hid monsters, and that’s why it was scary. Sehun had a fear of the dark, he’d mentioned something about spending a day in a dark room but refused to elaborate on the experience.
He eventually reached the vehicle and rapped his knuckles against the window whilst bringing his face close to the glass so that Sehun could recognise him. There was a flurry of movement from inside before the locks were released. Jongin flung open the door and was met with terror-filled eyes and raised arms, as a lithe body scrambled over the centre panel in order to reach him.
He met him half way and pulled the slighter boy into his lap, cursing as he felt the shivers racking his body. Another thing he'd remembered on the way was Sehun's inability to remain at human temperature by himself. (Sometimes when Sehun was using a computer, the hand resting on the mouse would get so cold that he'd have to take breaks to warm it up.)
"Shit. I'm sorry Sehun-ah." Jongin nuzzled his face against the cooler skin of his boyfriend's, hoping to transfer any heat he could. His palms were rubbing circles across anywhere that he could reach. Sehun had lifted his small hands and placed them hesitantly at Jongin's nape, who answered by pressing them more firmly against his neck, seemingly unaffected by the ice blocks they probably felt like.
--------------
Before long, Sehun returned to a more regular temperature.
He hadn't even really noticed how numb he'd gotten, too distracted by the darkness he knew surrounded the vehicle. "What-" His voice was hoarse, he cleared his throat and began again, "What took so long?" The question was quiet, and pressed into Jongin's cheek because of the smaller boy's refusal to remove himself from the warmth that was his boyfriend.
"I'm sorry, I got... lost on the way to the town." He was embarrassed he’d actually lost his way.
Sehun ducked his head in guilt because he should have gone with him, what if something had happened to him? He hugged him tighter unconsciously, almost desperately. Jongin didn't comment and simply returned the gesture. "Idiot." Sehun muttered half-heartedly, it held more affection than any real heat.
They stayed like that for several long minutes, neither wanting to release the other. Until Sehun's breathing minutely slowed, falling into a pattern Jongin was incredibly familiar with, grown accustomed to on mornings when he'd woken up too early. Jongin nudged him, "Sehun-ah." There was a shift. After a beat he repeated it once more, a slight raise in volume when the first utterance had elicited a small ghosting of a cloud, indicating the less than forgiving temperature inside the old metal deathtrap.
"I got petrol, we can make it up to the cabin before midnight if we leave now." He bumped their noses together, "I got directions to a pump on the way too, so we can fill up there." He half muttered half sighed, "Of all the things I could have forgotten..."
Only then did Sehun lift his head, eternal poker face present. It twitched slightly when Jongin slipped a glance at thin pink lips. They simply stared for a moment, before Sehun broke their eye contact as his eyes fluttered closed, moving to press his lips against plumper ones. The kiss was relaxed, languid, both just enjoying the moment. It was a mutual apology and forgiveness rolled into one.
"Are you warm enough?" Without waiting for a response, Jongin pressed his hand against the one still sandwiched between his neck and the collar of the thick winter jacket enclosing him.
Sehun moved to stretch his leg, "Yeah, a lot better." He pressed kiss to a cheek the happened to come conveniently close when he swung himself over the gearbox, "Thanks." There was a small smile playing across his lips when Jongin squeezed the hand within his grasp and locked their fingers together for an instant.
--------------
Sehun had fallen asleep whilst Jongin had run out to pay for the fill up, he had rested for almost an hour when Jongin finally pulled up outside the tasteful woodland cabin they were going to be staying at for the next week. It was typical in that it appeared to be camouflaged into the surrounding trees- the horizontal logs, he imagined, would shine a warm golden brown in the day.
He kissed the tuft of hair at his shoulder and felt a responding tug at his bicep. He grinned because this was familiar, this was routine that made everything worth it. Just those little moments that were purely for him and his Sehun. He smoothed a couple of macchiato locks away from Sehun's face and tried once more to rouse him from his slumber. This time, with a flick on the nose, he chuckled low when Sehun responded by sleepily mock-biting at the air, in a half-arsed attempt at attacking the offending finger. Jongin just waited, because he knew what came next. Sehun would yawn and stretch his limbs, often catching Jongin in the process, and then he would blink once. Twice.
Jongin watched the proceedings with an amused tilt of his head, affection clearly ringing out from the gaze he had fixated on the other boy.
"Hi." Sehun’s grin was attractively shy.
"Hi." Jongin ruffled his hair.
--------------
Jongin pushed the door open after struggling to unlock it, arms laden with various bags and questionable items. "Why am I holding a blender?" His eyes found Sehun's, who'd already set down his equally burdensome load.
"I didn't pack that?" He looked thoughtful, “Let’s hope I didn’t accidentally pack it… instead of the coffee machine.”
Jongin didn’t respond, refusing to think of the possibility of no fresh coffee for a week.
He flipped the switch by the door, and the lights flickered to life.
Jongin looked around the old cabin, dust and cotton sheets covered most surfaces. He remembered a time when he came down with his family, back when he didn’t know an Oh Sehun, when he was younger, more carefree. The cabin belonged to his grandfather, and used to be rented out through the seasons, but that stopped several years ago. It was still maintained, someone coming to check on it every half year, but when his grandfather had passed away a few months prior, he’d surprisingly left the aged wooden construction in Jongin’s care.
“Let’s call it a night and sort everything in the morning.” Sehun nodded, already feeling sleep cloud his mind once more. They’d dug out various bits of bedding before ripping the dusty sheets off the master bed and improvising a nest of sorts. Wrapped around each other, sleep came easily.
--------------
The next day, a Tuesday, brought light snow. Jongin had woken first and Sehun found him starting a fire in the fireplace. He’d unhurriedly traipsed over to him and draped himself over the other’s back, prompting a delighted laugh as Jongin turned to swing the pliant boy into his lap. “It got cold.” Sehun could honestly say that enclosed in Jongin’s arms was his favourite place to be, especially when he could feel the hard planes of taut muscle under his fingertips.
“Do you think we can make coffee with a blender?”
After Sehun had dragged himself into the shower and was sufficiently refreshed they started clearing the living space - removing sheets, dusting furniture, setting out their table wear in the kitchen cupboards, and generally settling in.
At twelve, a pillow fight ensued when Sehun properly unpacked their linen and duvet, and of course, their pillows. He’d thrown Jongin’s (Pororo casing and all) at said boy’s face when he’d made an offhand comment about Sehun’s slighter build. They both knew he was teasing, and that he thoroughly enjoyed the fact that Sehun fit into his arms (also, the Cheshire grin on his face kind of gave it away). Jongin had tackled him into the white faux-fur rug at the hearth, but the impromptu wresting match dissolved when Jongin started nipping at his boyfriend’s collarbones. Playful growls melting into soft moans as Jongin bit into the juncture between Sehun’s neck and shoulder, sucking at the abused flesh softly. He released Sehun with several final pecks and a devilish grin over his shoulder, as he sauntered teasingly into the kitchen.
Sehun lay with an arm thrown over his eyes, catching his breath.
He released a groan, and wasted no time in yanking his laughing boyfriend into their bedroom.
--------------
It was later the next day when they fought. It stemmed from Sehun not drying his hair and going out to find firewood; he’d come back shivering like a mad man.
A shouting match ensued, primarily due to Jongin’s frustration at Sehun’s apparent disconcert for his health. Touching on pointless subjects such as their lack of a coffee machine, and how they didn’t bring any cereal. “Which you were supposed to remember.” Jongin had growled.
Sehun left, irritated, with the explanation that he was going to draw, and not to disturb him.
--------------
He was perched on a thick low-growing branch of a tree, clear of snow due to its withdrawn positioning, his pencil moving precisely across crisp, off-white sheets. Eventually he pocketed the utensil and flipped to the beginning of the book. He bypassed the photo this time, and went on to study each of his drawings; each and every one of them obviously resembling a certain Kim Jongin. The first page was a profile portrait, the straight of his nose was handsome, his jaw pronounced. He flicked to another page, this one was sketchier, a rough replica of the fierce image Jongin made when immersed in dance.
Jongin didn’t know this book was dedicated to him. There had been books upon books of people, places, buildings, and objects that Sehun had come across in his nineteen years, but never had he put so much care into every page. In others he was allowed to have off days, some pages ripped from the binding in frustration, others coated in black paint as a memory (and also so he didn’t have to waste the back of the sheet). This one was special, it was cheesy he could admit, but it was the only way he knew how to explain how much Jongin meant to him. He drew whenever he could, some pages were littered in harsh, dark lines, smudges accentuating sharp cheekbones - the days he was angry at Jongin. Others in soft, crisp arcs - the days of longing when neither of their schedules allowed time for them.
When they were in the crushing and tentative flirting stages, Sehun had sometimes scribbled doodles of the older boy’s expressions in the corners of his work books, but quickly scratched them out with black strikes, an embarrassed blush dusting his cheeks.
When they had first started dating, Jongin had come over unannounced one day and opened his bedroom door only to be greeted with countless sketches and detailed drawings of his own face staring back at him. Sehun had been riding the waves of bliss of a new relationship and his happiness had caused him to go on rampage. The smaller boy had barrelled into him, almost stumbling in his haste. He had forced Jongin back out into the corridor in a matter of seconds, the bedroom door shutting with a snap. He had been blushing then too.
Sehun was skilled, he would deny it, and name the old drawings flat and dead, but any other would insist otherwise. Especially having improved from those fantastical drawings, today he captured emotion and raw depth. He flipped to the middle point of the book; where there were two drawings. He’d employed the use of charcoal slightly, just for the very darkest shadows.
Jongin was livid in this one.
Sehun remembers that Jongin wasn’t even that angry at him, but he’d been at breaking point with ire for other reasons, and a misunderstanding involving Luhan had caused him to lash out.
Sehun had cried then, arms wrapped around his own torso in a poor attempt to shield himself from the hurtful words. They weren’t full wailing sobs, just silent tracks running down his cheeks, dripping to the floor, his face angled towards his feet.
The opposite page was the tender expression Jongin had comforted him with, immediately regretting his actions. He had replaced the arms around his torso with his own, unrelenting apologies falling from his lips, kisses pressing into skin.
He shivered. He wanted Jongin’s arms wrapped around him now.
--------------
Deeming it too cold to be outside any longer and with the sun setting across the horizon, Sehun shoved his sketchbook into the satchel at his side and rubbed his hands together to regain feeling in them.
His eyes followed the branches, weighing the sturdiness of each in his mind, before he latched onto the one directly in front of his face. He squeezed the bark beneath his fingers twice, and then pushed off, his lissom arms tensing under the strain of his own weight. He lowered himself slowly, the branch he was trying to land on was much smaller and he didn't completely trust it.
It turns out his worry was for naught, as the branch that was above him snapped without warning; he was falling far too fast to have any hope of landing on his intended branch and a strangled cry left his lips involuntarily.
His shoulder snagged a lower-lying bough and he landed hard, his foot made it first, but it did nothing to stop his torso from crashing to the ground. His breath was forced from his lungs in a pain-filled gasp. "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid." The beginning signs of night were creeping into the sky and Sehun almost smacked himself out of irascibility.
He caught his breath and paused- his foot felt tender. He hesitated and wiggled his toes tentatively. Nothing broken. He released a sigh of relief, no matter what, he didn't want them to have to return prematurely because of his senselessness. He reached into his bag, his scathed shoulder protesting against the movement, and pulled out his phone before cursing himself once more.
He hoped against hope he had signal, and turned the screen on.
"Thank the lord." He muttered.
He pulled up the call screen and held ‘1’ for speed dial, sighing in relief again when it started ringing: Jongin had signal too.
It was almost immediately picked up, frantic deep tones greeting him, "Where are you!? It's getting dark! I'm sorry, okay? Wh-"
Sehun cut him off, when his phone made a beep, indicating low battery, why couldn't I have brain? And have taken a walkie talkie? He shook his head and spoke, his voice coming out hoarse and with a stutter, "J-jongin. I think I need help." He whispered the second part, pushing his stubborn pride back into the depths of his mind.
"Where are you? Are you lost? Stuck?" His voice had minutely raised in pitch, and only if you knew him as well as Sehun did would you notice, or realise that despite the reassuring lilt of his voice, he was as anxious as Sehun was becoming.
He closed his eyes, "I sort of fell?" At Jongin's silence he continued, "Out of a tree?"
He could practically see Jongin running a hand through his hair agitatedly.
"Can you walk?"
"... I don't know... I may have sprained something."
He wondered if Jongin knew how bad he felt when he didn't receive the chiding he knew he deserved.
There was no response apart from some background noise and Sehun was drowning in shame at having caused so much trouble for the older boy already.
"...can you come get me... please?" He winced at home meek he sounded.
Jongin sputtered on other the end, "Of course I'm coming to get you, idiot." The insult was laced with fondness and indignation. "I was just getting some gear together, there's meant to be a storm." There was worry in his voice.
Sehun watched the solidifying snowfall around him. He swallowed thickly. There was another beep.
"Do you know where you are? Or can you give me directions or something?" He could hear zips and Velcro in the background.
"A little over a mile out I think? I wasn’t paying much attention," He looked around for some kind of landmark. “There’s a shed nearby? It looks really run down.” He squinted, “I’m near one of those circular clearings, it should be on a map?” He volunteered as much information as he could. “I passed an old greenhouse on the way! This one with deer stickers on it!” He added hurriedly, suddenly remembering, “And a water pump near it, I went past that.” Jongin made a noise of acknowledgement. Beep.
“Sehun? Is that your phone? Have you got battery?” He sounded apprehensive, like he didn’t really want to hear the response. Sehun pulled the device away from his face and grimaced at the little red ‘6%’ shining up at him.
“Six percent left.” He answered hesitantly, unwilling to be disconnected from Jongin.
“Shit. Okay. I’m going to hang up, I’ll call when I get to the greenhouse okay?” He shut the front door behind him, “Try not to let yourself get too cold.” Jongin realised how stupid saying that was, “Nevermind, just- I’ll try to hurry.” He quickened his pace, “I love you, you idiot.”
Sehun found a smile working itself onto his face, despite the chill settling into his bones, “I love you too.”
--------------
Sehun was so numb he couldn’t even tell if he was shivering. He was attempting to pull himself back onto a lower branch, just so he wouldn’t be soaking up the snow as it melted through his layers of insulation. He struggled to raise himself enough to lean against the trunk of the tree he’d fallen out of and he was exerted and breathless by the time that he’d finally managed to haul himself onto his feet- or foot. He was leaning all of his weight on his left side, and felt imbalanced as a result, especially since it was his dominant side that was out of commission. He shifted uncomfortably when he felt the cold sweat on his back.
He tried to blink the fatigue away, and thought it was a bright idea to try and walk, now that he’d succeeding in standing - he could clearly do anything.
Needless to say, he didn’t get very far before he’d face-planted the snow for the second time. He’d originally had the grand idea to walk towards to greenhouse to make things easier for Jongin, but that plan was quickly shot to pieces.
He sighed through a mouthful of white fluffy moisture and began the procedure of getting up again.
--------------
Jongin had started sprinting towards the Vogue as best as he could the moment he ended the call, he estimated it would take twenty minutes for him to reach the dilapidated glasshouse. Well, thirty; moving through freshly fallen snow was like running through sand, you weren’t likely to get anywhere fast. He released a plethora of colourful expletives when felt the depth of the snow on the ground, a lot had fallen during the day, which gave him little hope of being able to spot any footprints.
He clambered into the vehicle and shifted into gear. He was carefully driving through the woodland tracks, looking out for any signs of disturbance in the snow that would indicate that his slighter boyfriend had been around. He’d anxiously run his hands through his hair so many times by now that it probably looked like an unattractive bird’s nest. He shoved the thought away and began scanning the area again.
Eventually, he spotted the greenhouse Sehun was talking about and scrambled for his phone, “The number you have called is unavail-”
“Fuck!” He felt panic sweep through him for a split second before he forced himself to calm. He’d packed supplies for this, he could do it.
He grabbed the smaller bag, and dug through to pull out a map. He hastily found his position, and then easily located the only circular clearing within a mile, and let out a relieved breath. He retrieved a compass, it wasn’t dark enough to need torches yet, but he shoved one into the bag anyway and threw open the door. He ran as his legs would carry him to the clearing, which took him a good ten minutes, especially with the falling snow becoming heavier each second.
Once he reached the centre, he squinted and swept his eyes over the biggest trees, “SEHUN-AH!” His throat strained at the force. He turned and repeated the action in another direction. His eyes were flitting across the bases of the trees for any sign of Sehun’s earth-coloured winter coat. Jongin’s own fire-engine red like beacon amidst the white sea.
His eyes snapped to the left when he thought he heard something that sounded vaguely like a response. “SEHUN-AH!?” He repeated, hope swelling in his chest. There was a reply which he couldn’t make out, but he was certain that it was Sehun’s voice.
He sprinted with a renewed vigour when he started to make out the familiar coat slumped against the thick of a tree, the base of this tree seemed drier than all its neighbours, the large evergreen canopy guarding the lower levels from the brunt of the snowfall. He called out once more when he got closer, “Sehun!?” the other boy’s eyes, which were closed up to that point, sprung open. “Jong?” His gaze focused on the approaching form and he gasped in relief, “Jongin!”
Jongin pushed just a little more force into his steps and was soon panting against his boyfriend’s neck. He pulled him close and assessed the damage, “What hurts baby?” Sehun ducked his head and cleared his throat, the endearment got to him like no other. Maybe because of the fact that he was never spoilt as a child, was never babied, was never really looked after, was never really anyone’s ‘baby’. Until Jongin came around.
“When I fell out, I landed on my foot.” He prodded at it, “I think it’s sprained?”
Jongin touched his ankle and pressed lightly, watching Sehun’s face. There was a grimace and then a wince, “Nothing’s broken.” Sehun made a noise of agreement. “I can feel it swelling though.” Jongin glanced at the sky, the snow didn’t look like it was letting up, and the sun well on its way to a nap. He evaluated the way that Sehun was heavily leaning against the tree, “Do you think you can get onto my back? The Rover’s a little way away.” His eyes searched Sehun’s face, and the younger boy nodded softly, Jongin smiled encouragingly because he seemed hesitant, before helping the other boy to his feet. When he looked sturdy enough, Jongin released him and turning, dropping into a crouch. He felt Sehun tentatively press at his shoulders before draping himself over the other boy. Jongin stood easily, hands coming down to hoist Sehun up higher by the thighs. “You okay?”
Sehun nuzzled into the back of his neck before whispering a quiet affirmative.
“Can you hold on a little tighter?” Sehun squeezed around Jongin’s shoulders, before tensing involuntarily at the pain at his shoulder. He grit his teeth, and adjusted so that his uninjured arm was across the front of Jongin.
“Is that okay?”
“Yeah.” Jongin began trudging back, the journey taking a little longer thanks to his precious burden. He thanked every deity that he regularly worked out because his thighs were only just beginning to faintly protest against the added weight and the force involved in wading through thick-set snow.
After a minute or so, Sehun pressed a kiss to the back of his neck, his voice was timid, “I’m really sorry, you know? For shouting, and for causing so much trouble and everything” There was beat, “And… for this.” He pushed his forehead against his neck, “I really am.”
Jongin rubbed circles into his thighs with his thumbs. “I know. It’s okay Sehun-ah. I am too.” He could feel the vibrations across Jongin’s back, and it was reassuring.
--------------
It took almost double the time to get back to the vehicle than it did getting to Sehun.
Once inside, he turned the key and twisted the aircon dial to the max warming setting, although it wasn’t the most efficient. Sehun was listlessly sitting in the passenger side, hands worrying at the hem of his jacket.
Jongin reached over, tugged the zip of Sehun’s coat down and pushed the material off thin shoulders. Sehun let him, the ability to touch was returning to his fingers and he could now feel just how awfully damp the thick material had become. Sehun watched in silence as Jongin then pulled off his own jacket before holding it out for Sehun to slip into. The younger raised his eyes to his face. “Jongin?”
“It’s already warm.” There was a protest on his lips, “I brought a spare, jeez stop worrying.” Jongin grinned, and Sehun, as always, flushed in response. Once he’d donned the red material though, he couldn’t resist curling into himself and inhaling. Jongin chuckled, and Sehun couldn’t even bring himself to feel embarrassed. His older boyfriend still had a silly smile plastered to his face when he reached into a bag and pulled out an elasticated bandage, and a silver insulating blanket. Sehun went to remove his hiking boot, but Jongin batted his hands away, with a “You’ll hurt yourself.” Muttered in his direction. He relented and watched Jongin ease the footwear off his appendage with a gentleness he himself didn’t possess. His sock was rolled down and the reddening, swollen skin was exposed to the cool air, Jongin hissed in sympathy, and then slipped the bandage into place. He threw the blanket over Sehun and stole a kiss before backing up and turning them around.
“Hey?” Sehun turning to Jongin, “Can I make dinner tonight?” Jongin pointedly glanced at his foot, “Please?” the older boy made the mistake of looking at Sehun’s face because he was doing everything in his power to play the cute-card. Jongin didn’t have a chance.
“Okay.”
--------------
Sehun was sat on a high stool in front of the stove stirring the fried rice together, he was just adding the last few bits - a handful of chopped spring onion, and some diced green peppers, before he moved to the omelette. He’d banished Jongin from the kitchen altogether when he’d started hovering over him, but Jongin would forgive him once he’d seen that Sehun had prepared his favourite.
“Can I come in now~?” Drifted in from the living space, and Sehun’s face twitched in amusement.
“No.”
“But Sehun-ah~.” No sir-ee, Kim Jongin was not above whining.
Sehun set the deformed omelette onto Jongin’s plate and popped open the ketchup, he considered writing ‘sorry’ but he didn’t want to bring down the comfortable mood they’d slipped into, instead he spelt out ‘I ♥ U’, feeling content, and just a little bit more than sappy. It’d been a long day, and he wanted Jongin happy too, and he thought this was a good step in the right direction.
But doing, and imagining were two different things.
Sehun imagined that he’d lay it down all suave-like in front of his boyfriend, maybe a coy smile playing across his lips.
However, reality dealt him the ‘forever-blushing’ card.
He’d began limping out of the kitchen, only for Jongin to practically pounce on him, pulling the plates out of his grasp, and acting as Sehun’s living crutch. Sehun let himself be led to the sofa, honestly relishing in the coddling, before the larger boy padded back to get the plates, and snorted.
Jongin returned to his side, puppy-like grin present. “This one for me Sehunnie?” He teased, pointing at his plate, specifically, the little blobs of ketchup spelling out Sehun’s affections.
Sehun’s face flared in embarrassment, his naturally pale skin always made him flush so obviously, “No.” The slighter boy went to grab at the plate, but Jongin pulled it out of reach in alarm.
“Hell no, this is mine.” He pulled out his phone and snapped a shot of the cute meal before Sehun could even blink, a grin slipping back into his features as he admired the shot.
“I’m going to delete it in your sleep.” Sehun mumbled as he began picking at his own plate. To his credit, Jongin actually did look slightly worried. Jongin settled down next to Sehun, their shoulders touching, and Sehun subconsciously threw his legs over the other boy’s knees, and dropped his head onto a broad shoulder, but started and apologised while he struggled to sit up straighter with his hands otherwise occupied, “Ah sorry, you probably need that… to eat… well to use your fork, and yeah, um - “
“Sehun-ah.”
“Uh-yeah?”
“I don’t need that arm to eat.”
“…Right.” He hung his head, until Jongin reached out and gently guided his head back down, the hand running through his hair before dropping back down to pick up his fork.
Sehun was always like this after a fight when he felt it was his fault, a stuttering, blushing, hot mess who tried to make it up to Jongin in the most adorable ways.
Jongin practically inhaled his food, partly because of how good it tasted, partly because he was itching to pull Sehun against him, and for that he needed free hands.
Finally having finishing with the piece of crockery, he quickly loaded it into the creaky dishwasher and slid back to the sofa, his socks lessening the friction against the hardwood flooring. He almost fell over in an attempt to make the length of the living room in one sweep, grinning abashedly at Sehun's outburst of laughter.
The younger boy pushed his half-full plate away and opened his arms. Jongin practically bounded at him - until he noticed the more-than-obvious wince, and the way Sehun's arm trembled.
The paler of the two dropped his arm and hastily went to stand, trying to cover up the small slip. Truthfully, once the pain had died down to a dull throb, he'd gotten used to it and forgot about it entirely.
Unfortunately (or fortunately), it didn't escape Jongin's sharp eye and he guided his boyfriend back down to the sofa, wordlessly indicating that he turn around. Jongin gently pressed a hand at the back of Sehun's neck and move it slowly, adding pressure as he went. It didn't take long for Sehun to flinch and recoil when Jongin's hand reached his left shoulder. "Sehun-ah..." His voice was disapproving and honestly held an underlying hint of accusation.
"Can you take this off?" Jongin tugged at his yellow hoodie.
Sehun raised his arms in assent, and this time he didn't hide the pain-filled expression that crossed his features. Jongin tried his best not to jostle him too much when he pulled the article off. He paused for a second before deciding to slide Sehun's t-shirt off too, while his arms were still raised.
The younger boy shivered, despite the room being sufficiently warmed by the fire, but made no other visible movement other than lowering his arms and subconsciously shifting towards Jongin, seeking some warmth. "Sehun-ah..." This time he sounded positively dismayed, which had Sehun widening his eyes, and turning back to see his face.
"What is it? It can't be that bad."
Jongin ignored him in favour of lightly tracing a pattern into his skin, what normally would have felt pleasant left his skin stinging. Ah, must have scratched it.
But then Jongin added a light force, just a single finger pressing down, and Sehun couldn't hold back the yelp as he moved to alleviate the spark of pain. "Jesus Sehun. How the fuck did you even get this!?"
He was unprepared for the raise in volume and his mouth fell open in shock at the unexpected turn of events. "What the fuck Jongin? It can't be that bad," He peered over his shoulder and the words died in his throat, his flesh was a worrying cross between blue and purple, and the skin was chafed and breaking at parts. "I'll just put some balm on i-"
"For fuck's sake Sehun, do you have no concerns in regards to your health!?" Jongin stood and huffed heatedly, "You fuck off to the middle of nowhere when there's meant to be a fucking snowstorm." He ran his hand through his hair, tugging at the tips, "You get fucking stranded." Breathing heavily, "And you're brushing off the fact that your shoulder looks like you were fucking mauled!"
"It's like you don't even care. You can't even tell me that you're hurting." He turned and muttered to himself, "Damn it Sehun, what's wrong with you?"
Sehun's breath caught.
He doesn't know. Calm down. He didn't know. Sehun was trembling as the words hit home and memories flooded his mind. He pressed his palms into his eyes in vain, willing the scenes to stop playing through his head.
--------------
"What's wrong with you?"
A kick to the abdomen. A book thrown at his face.
He was lying face down on the floor, eyes barely open. He could see the white linoleum stretched out in front of him, only disturbed by chair and table legs, and several pairs of black shoes in varying conditions. Some scuffed and greying, others bright. Polished.
"Get up you little shit." Sneering.
Someone stepped on his leg.
"Not going to say anything?" He stopped keeping track.
"Not going going to cry for mummy?" He paused, mocking dramatics. "Oh wait, you don't have one? Were you too much of a fucktard? Is that why she didn't want you?" He laughed obscenely.
"Obviously no one did since you're still stuck in that shit hole." He recognised this new voice. This one used to be friends with him. Back when he was still at the orphanage with him. But the difference was that Tao got picked. Somebody wanted him.
"I heard it's because he has something wrong with him." One of the quieter ones spoke up with an air of superiority at knowing that tidbit. "Like a disease." Another kick. They were taking their time, talking as though discussing the weather. They knew he had no strength to retaliate.
"He doesn't have a fucking disease, he is one."
They were cruel and ruthless. And they were part of Sehun's daily struggle. The rumours spread like wildfire that he had something 'wrong' with him. As did the speculations.
He had an STD. He was mentally unstable. He was a druggie. He had been raped. He was a rapist. He was possessed. He was cursed. He was a demon. He was a murderer.
Each one more ridiculous and baseless than the last.
The jibes never stopped.
They were thrown at him in the corridors, punched into him after school, flung at his face with erasers. He was sixteen when he was knocked unconscious for the first time. The school management arranged for him to switch schools then, realising that that was easier than trying to control the bulk of the student body.
--------------
He was pulled back to reality with Jongin’s face inches from his own, eyes frantically searching his for some recognition. Jongin hands were warm against his cheeks, his hold tight and panicked.
“Sehun-ah, baby please, I’m sorry,” Jongin was beside himself with worry; Sehun had suddenly stopped responding, and his eyes had clouded over. The tanner boy shook him lightly, then more vehemently “Sehun? Sehun!?” He finally focused dull eyes on the boy in front of him, and was immediately crushed against a broad chest.
Sehun’s hands flew up to feel Jongin’s face and he slumped in relief, clutching at the warm body surrounding him. He hadn’t had a flashback for over a year. Since he’d met the kind-hearted dancer encircling him.
“I’m sorry Jongin.” I’m sorry I’m such a handful. I’m sorry I’m always causing trouble. I’m sorry that I’m a burden.
He felt disorientated and the flashback was only adding to him confusion, emotions merging with the ones of that time, the thoughts of those times. He’d tried his hardest to push them into the corners of his mind, push them away.
“Sehun?” Jongin pulled him back to look at his face again, “What the fuck just happened?”
Sehun’s mouth opened and closed. On one hand he never wanted to recall these awful memories, the hurtful words, and the reason he’d been so withdrawn before Jongin. On the other hand, he honestly trusted the other boy with his life, and felt like he owed it to him.
Jongin continued when Sehun looked to be still struggling with what to say.
“Look we came here to slow down, and sort ourselves out.” He looked away, “That last fight back home took a lot from the both of us, but there is no way in hell that I’m going to let us fall apart.” He looked back into Sehun’s eyes, “And really, we wouldn’t be us without the occasional argument.” He smiled a little at this admission.
“So let’s start here.” He tugged the smaller boy towards him and tipped his chin up, “Talk to me?”
Sehun reached up to trace Jongin’s brow, along his nose, across his cheeks in a soundless tender gesture. He lightly pushed him back so that he’d sit resting against the armrest, and followed along, clambering up onto him, cheek to Jongin’s collarbone.
--------------
When the first tears had fallen Jongin had relocated them to the bed, bundled together under their duvet. He didn’t interrupt, only offering encouraging kisses and smoothing away stray tears. His eyes hardened when Sehun spoke of being cornered, feeling helpless, losing will. But filled with adoration when the thin boy insisted that he was stronger than that, talked of never giving up hope.
Suddenly a lot more made sense to Jongin. Why Sehun never talked of his younger school years, he knew Sehun belonged to an orphanage for some time, he knew the facts, but Sehun had hidden the worst, the darkest, and the loneliest of his life out of sight; out of mind.
He understood now why Sehun was so reluctant to accept help, to rely on others, to trust someone wholly. He vowed to change that.
Sleep claimed Sehun due to exhaustion long before it graced Jongin with its presence.
--------------
Jongin groaned when the shrill tones of ‘I Got A Boy’ started blaring through the cabin, he practically fell off the bed and blindly groped for the device before answering and pressing it to his face, a yawn stifled against his arm as he stretched. He expected the chipper voice on the other end, but actually hearing it made him want to bury himself under a mountain of pillows.
“Yah! Kkamjong-ah!” Jongin dragged himself into the living room, after glancing back at the still-sleeping Sehun cocooned in the sheets.
“Chanyeol-hyung.” He yawned again, hands rubbing at his eyes in an attempt to make them more willing to open themselves.
“Ouch, so cold.” He didn’t sound put off in the slightest. “So, have you done it yet?”
“Done what.” Jongin couldn’t even find it in himself to make it sound like a question.
“Given him the ring you dipshit.”
Jongin’s eyes enlarged to the point where he resembled a different wide-eyed hyung. He vaguely remembered reminders to make it romantic.
“OMHG FHUV!” If there were anyone in the room, they would have been graced with the image of half-eaten blueberry muffin as the boy’s mouth hung open.
“You are not allowed to tell me you forgot.” Baekhyun’s voice filtered through and his tone was positively icy.
“… then I didn’t remember?”
“THAT WAS THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS STUPID TRIP. OTHERWISE I WOULD NOT HAVE ENTRUSTED SEHUN TO YOUR DUMB ASS FOR A WHOLE WEEK.” Jongin had placed the phone on the counter, and no, speaker-phone wasn’t even switched on.
He cringed and picked the phone back up. He’d just been so immersed in spending time with Sehun.
“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.”
“Please tell me you at least told him about the uni arrangements?”
“Double fuck?”
Baekhyun sounded like he had a cat stuck in his throat.
“I think you killed him.” Chanyeol’s deep voice reached his ears once more.
--------------
Jongin sat at the kitchen counter with a blank paper in front of him. He scribbled the titled down with a flourish, ‘Ways to tell Sehun that I got us roomed together, and that I got us promise rings because he’s cute as fuck when I do stuff like this’. He grimaced, dropping his face onto the paper.
“Hey?”
Jongin’s head flew up - SMACK.
“Owshitfu -”
“Ohfuckin -”
Jongin took this opportunity to shove the paper into his mouth.
“Did you ju -?”
“No.”
Sehun blinked, and then ambled away, muttering about batshit crazy boyfriends, and it being too early for this shit.
--------------
Jongin was lost in thought once more, because this was proving to be a lot more difficult than he originally thought it would be. He immediately dismissed ideas like a candlelit dinner and a bed full of roses because even Sehun, the sappiest of sappy people, would cringe.
He thought about dancing for him. Maybe I could finish by pulling it out of my pocket? ....Maybe I’ll just make him dinner…? “Nah, I do that anyway…”
“Do what?” Sehun had emerged from the bathroom, with nothing but a towel tied to his waist.
Jongin ran his eyes over him appreciatively.
“You.”
Sehun’s skin flushed as he realised his state of undress, and he practically ran to throw something on. They were supposed to go on a walk, and if he didn’t do something about himself soon, the walk would end up waiting until tomorrow. At another time he wouldn’t have minded, but he was excited about this, besides, he’d planned to show Jongin the sketchbook when they got back, having filled the last page the night before when he’d briefly woken up.
--------------
They swung their joined hands between them like children. Jongin seemed a little tense but the younger boy brushed it off as the chill getting to him a little, and yanked him closer, trying to alleviate it. Jongin looked at him questioningly at the motion, but Sehun ignored it and tried to will his ever-present blush down, Jongin eventually laughed, and playfully pressed a kiss to his brow before they continued.
Jongin examined Sehun from the corner of his eye, he really was beautiful, all eye-smiles and shielded grins. They were passing through a more enclosed stretch of path - evergreen shrubs and leaves surrounded them, sprinkled with a selection of bare branches of less fortunate trees, everything bathed in a snowy blanket.
Another glance at the expression on Sehun’s face told him that this was the right time.
“Hey -”
“Jo -”
Sehun stuttered and stopped, “You first.” He toed at the snow, a nervous habit. Jongin but shook his head, when Sehun stole another glance at him, and blushed.
Again.
This here, was perfect.
“Sehunnie.” Sehun’s eyes flew to his as the serious tone coupled with the affectionate nickname.
He lost a little steam and scratched at the back of his head, before he summoned his courage and leant in to press his lips to Sehun’s at the same time that he dropped one hand to his pocket, fingers seeking the simple band, with the tiny decorative triangle.
He deepened the kiss when Sehun moaned softly into his mouth, his lips quirking up in amusement at the pliant mess his cute boyfriend had become. He felt both Sehun’s hands at his chest, lightly curling into his coat and gently lifted one, before subtly sliding the band on, pulling the other boy flush against him, and drowning the surprised noises.
Once they parted for air Sehun dropped his face to Jongin’s neck, panting lightly. Before he could question Jongin, the boy spoke into his ear, sending pleasant shivers down his spine, “Stay mine?” There was a gentle kiss to his neck, “Forever?”
Sehun scoffed, but Jongin heard the way his breathing caught, and knew there were tears gathered in his eyes, “Do y-you even need to ask?” He answered with a shaky laugh.
Jongin’s answering grin was beatific, and he expressed his joy by capturing Sehun’s mouth with his own once more, his lips permanently curved upwards. Sehun’s own grin caused their teeth to click together a few times, but neither cared too much. Jongin manoeuvred them so that he was pressing Sehun into a nearby tree trunk, although mindful of his injury, and continued his assault for several long minutes - not that Sehun was complaining.
When they finally recommenced their walk, clinging tighter together with brighter grins, Jongin knew that they were going to be fine.
He looked at Sehun, and caught his shy gaze. Sehun’s blush was was pretty much confirmation, the fairly-rare grin currently glued to his face making Jongin’s heart clench in fondness.
Definitely more than fine.
FIN.
A/N: Sorry this was so jumbled, and jumpy, and generally all over the place. Let me know which parts were your favourites, and if you see any errors, don’t hesitate to point them out!
-Min
Genre: Angst/Fluff/Romance
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Warnings: small scene with bullying
Length: Oneshot
Word count: 8.4k
“You have to make it romantic okay? He’ll love that.” Baekhyun grinned.
--------------
Sehun grit his teeth and looked away, immersing himself in watching the trees flit past the window of the car. He was positively seething, both of them having unfortunately short tempers - they just dealt with them in different ways.
Sehun was the kind to have to be left to his own devices to simmer quietly, Jongin was the type to vent his frustrations physically, and needed to move about. The small tiff had started out petty, but that hardly mattered when neither of them would let go of their pride to apologise first. He had been point-blank ignoring his boyfriend for more than an hour, and the sun was starting to set in the distance, spilling a warm yellow-pink hue across the sky.
The ancient Range Rover Vogue wasn’t the smoothest ride, but it had been gifted to Jongin two years ago on his eighteenth birthday and it didn’t take very long for the forest-green moving metal cage to worm its way into his heart.
Sehun glanced at Jongin out of the corner of his eye, wanting to put the argument behind them, but stubbornly sighed instead, and recommenced watching the clouds. It was only a half hour later when a sputter and a gurgle were issued from the vehicle, before it clambered lazily to a stand-still. Sehun wordlessly turned to look Jongin in the face, but he looked as perplexed as Sehun felt, “It says we’re not out of gas…. But?” His eyebrows furrowed momentarily, but then dismay clouded his handsome features. He sighed and reluctantly thumped the glass above the fuel meter, slumping onto the steering wheel when the dial jumped and swung past the zero mark, right into the red ‘reserve fuel’ area.
Sehun’s eyes widened, “Don’t we have any in the back?” Jongin was already shaking his head before the question had fully left his lips. He look back out of the window and properly took in their surroundings, they had reached one of the quieter stretches of the route, surrounded only by trees and other foliage as far as the eye could see.
“Look, I know how to get to the closest town from here,” He pulled a compass out of his holdall, and snagged one of the many maps they’d picked up at the last stop, “I’ll try and hurry, but if someone comes by, see if they can help.” With that, he left. Sehun sighed at his disappearing back; he probably wasn’t ready to forgive Sehun for the harsh words exchanged, and the younger tried not to let that get him down too much, instead moving to distract himself. He reckoned Jongin would take around an hour to get back to him, so he pulled out the sketchbook he’d bought him a month before the trip and ran his fingers over the cheesy photo of the two of them taped to the inside cover, he smiled unknowingly when his touch lingered on the messy ‘I love you Sehun-ah!’ scrawled in the bottom left corner.
He flipped to the next available page and dug around the compartments of the Rover for a pencil, the amount of time he spent in the vehicle made him certain that he’d find one. It didn’t take long for his fingertips to brush against a familiar writing implement under Jongin’s seat, and he pulled it out with flourish, a small victorious whoop leaving his lips.
--------------
Sehun stretched his muscles and rubbed at his sore neck. The time since Jongin had left to get fuel was quickly reaching the two hour mark, and you didn’t have to be a genius to tell that Sehun was getting a little more than worried. His tongue would dart out to lick at his lips, and he would shift in his seat, knees pulled up to his chest long ago. His phone was hanging uselessly in his grip because none of his calls would go through, and the only thing stopping him from climbing out of the Vogue was the fact that he’d finally noticed how dark it had gotten. He felt a pang of anxiety when he’d assessed that the only source of light he was going to get was the one from his swiftly draining phone.
It was when the skies had shifted to being more dark than light that Sehun had to hide his face between his knees. If I can’t see it, it’s not there. Granted, it didn’t seem like closing his eyes was any better, but it was pretty terrifying sitting in a freezing vehicle in the pitch dark, where you wouldn’t be able to tell another’s presence unless it was pressed against the glass.
--------------
Jongin tried his best to sprint back to where he knew the car was, thoughts only clicking when he’d left the petrol station to have a child exclaim that the dark hid monsters, and that’s why it was scary. Sehun had a fear of the dark, he’d mentioned something about spending a day in a dark room but refused to elaborate on the experience.
He eventually reached the vehicle and rapped his knuckles against the window whilst bringing his face close to the glass so that Sehun could recognise him. There was a flurry of movement from inside before the locks were released. Jongin flung open the door and was met with terror-filled eyes and raised arms, as a lithe body scrambled over the centre panel in order to reach him.
He met him half way and pulled the slighter boy into his lap, cursing as he felt the shivers racking his body. Another thing he'd remembered on the way was Sehun's inability to remain at human temperature by himself. (Sometimes when Sehun was using a computer, the hand resting on the mouse would get so cold that he'd have to take breaks to warm it up.)
"Shit. I'm sorry Sehun-ah." Jongin nuzzled his face against the cooler skin of his boyfriend's, hoping to transfer any heat he could. His palms were rubbing circles across anywhere that he could reach. Sehun had lifted his small hands and placed them hesitantly at Jongin's nape, who answered by pressing them more firmly against his neck, seemingly unaffected by the ice blocks they probably felt like.
--------------
Before long, Sehun returned to a more regular temperature.
He hadn't even really noticed how numb he'd gotten, too distracted by the darkness he knew surrounded the vehicle. "What-" His voice was hoarse, he cleared his throat and began again, "What took so long?" The question was quiet, and pressed into Jongin's cheek because of the smaller boy's refusal to remove himself from the warmth that was his boyfriend.
"I'm sorry, I got... lost on the way to the town." He was embarrassed he’d actually lost his way.
Sehun ducked his head in guilt because he should have gone with him, what if something had happened to him? He hugged him tighter unconsciously, almost desperately. Jongin didn't comment and simply returned the gesture. "Idiot." Sehun muttered half-heartedly, it held more affection than any real heat.
They stayed like that for several long minutes, neither wanting to release the other. Until Sehun's breathing minutely slowed, falling into a pattern Jongin was incredibly familiar with, grown accustomed to on mornings when he'd woken up too early. Jongin nudged him, "Sehun-ah." There was a shift. After a beat he repeated it once more, a slight raise in volume when the first utterance had elicited a small ghosting of a cloud, indicating the less than forgiving temperature inside the old metal deathtrap.
"I got petrol, we can make it up to the cabin before midnight if we leave now." He bumped their noses together, "I got directions to a pump on the way too, so we can fill up there." He half muttered half sighed, "Of all the things I could have forgotten..."
Only then did Sehun lift his head, eternal poker face present. It twitched slightly when Jongin slipped a glance at thin pink lips. They simply stared for a moment, before Sehun broke their eye contact as his eyes fluttered closed, moving to press his lips against plumper ones. The kiss was relaxed, languid, both just enjoying the moment. It was a mutual apology and forgiveness rolled into one.
"Are you warm enough?" Without waiting for a response, Jongin pressed his hand against the one still sandwiched between his neck and the collar of the thick winter jacket enclosing him.
Sehun moved to stretch his leg, "Yeah, a lot better." He pressed kiss to a cheek the happened to come conveniently close when he swung himself over the gearbox, "Thanks." There was a small smile playing across his lips when Jongin squeezed the hand within his grasp and locked their fingers together for an instant.
--------------
Sehun had fallen asleep whilst Jongin had run out to pay for the fill up, he had rested for almost an hour when Jongin finally pulled up outside the tasteful woodland cabin they were going to be staying at for the next week. It was typical in that it appeared to be camouflaged into the surrounding trees- the horizontal logs, he imagined, would shine a warm golden brown in the day.
He kissed the tuft of hair at his shoulder and felt a responding tug at his bicep. He grinned because this was familiar, this was routine that made everything worth it. Just those little moments that were purely for him and his Sehun. He smoothed a couple of macchiato locks away from Sehun's face and tried once more to rouse him from his slumber. This time, with a flick on the nose, he chuckled low when Sehun responded by sleepily mock-biting at the air, in a half-arsed attempt at attacking the offending finger. Jongin just waited, because he knew what came next. Sehun would yawn and stretch his limbs, often catching Jongin in the process, and then he would blink once. Twice.
Jongin watched the proceedings with an amused tilt of his head, affection clearly ringing out from the gaze he had fixated on the other boy.
"Hi." Sehun’s grin was attractively shy.
"Hi." Jongin ruffled his hair.
--------------
Jongin pushed the door open after struggling to unlock it, arms laden with various bags and questionable items. "Why am I holding a blender?" His eyes found Sehun's, who'd already set down his equally burdensome load.
"I didn't pack that?" He looked thoughtful, “Let’s hope I didn’t accidentally pack it… instead of the coffee machine.”
Jongin didn’t respond, refusing to think of the possibility of no fresh coffee for a week.
He flipped the switch by the door, and the lights flickered to life.
Jongin looked around the old cabin, dust and cotton sheets covered most surfaces. He remembered a time when he came down with his family, back when he didn’t know an Oh Sehun, when he was younger, more carefree. The cabin belonged to his grandfather, and used to be rented out through the seasons, but that stopped several years ago. It was still maintained, someone coming to check on it every half year, but when his grandfather had passed away a few months prior, he’d surprisingly left the aged wooden construction in Jongin’s care.
“Let’s call it a night and sort everything in the morning.” Sehun nodded, already feeling sleep cloud his mind once more. They’d dug out various bits of bedding before ripping the dusty sheets off the master bed and improvising a nest of sorts. Wrapped around each other, sleep came easily.
--------------
The next day, a Tuesday, brought light snow. Jongin had woken first and Sehun found him starting a fire in the fireplace. He’d unhurriedly traipsed over to him and draped himself over the other’s back, prompting a delighted laugh as Jongin turned to swing the pliant boy into his lap. “It got cold.” Sehun could honestly say that enclosed in Jongin’s arms was his favourite place to be, especially when he could feel the hard planes of taut muscle under his fingertips.
“Do you think we can make coffee with a blender?”
After Sehun had dragged himself into the shower and was sufficiently refreshed they started clearing the living space - removing sheets, dusting furniture, setting out their table wear in the kitchen cupboards, and generally settling in.
At twelve, a pillow fight ensued when Sehun properly unpacked their linen and duvet, and of course, their pillows. He’d thrown Jongin’s (Pororo casing and all) at said boy’s face when he’d made an offhand comment about Sehun’s slighter build. They both knew he was teasing, and that he thoroughly enjoyed the fact that Sehun fit into his arms (also, the Cheshire grin on his face kind of gave it away). Jongin had tackled him into the white faux-fur rug at the hearth, but the impromptu wresting match dissolved when Jongin started nipping at his boyfriend’s collarbones. Playful growls melting into soft moans as Jongin bit into the juncture between Sehun’s neck and shoulder, sucking at the abused flesh softly. He released Sehun with several final pecks and a devilish grin over his shoulder, as he sauntered teasingly into the kitchen.
Sehun lay with an arm thrown over his eyes, catching his breath.
He released a groan, and wasted no time in yanking his laughing boyfriend into their bedroom.
--------------
It was later the next day when they fought. It stemmed from Sehun not drying his hair and going out to find firewood; he’d come back shivering like a mad man.
A shouting match ensued, primarily due to Jongin’s frustration at Sehun’s apparent disconcert for his health. Touching on pointless subjects such as their lack of a coffee machine, and how they didn’t bring any cereal. “Which you were supposed to remember.” Jongin had growled.
Sehun left, irritated, with the explanation that he was going to draw, and not to disturb him.
--------------
He was perched on a thick low-growing branch of a tree, clear of snow due to its withdrawn positioning, his pencil moving precisely across crisp, off-white sheets. Eventually he pocketed the utensil and flipped to the beginning of the book. He bypassed the photo this time, and went on to study each of his drawings; each and every one of them obviously resembling a certain Kim Jongin. The first page was a profile portrait, the straight of his nose was handsome, his jaw pronounced. He flicked to another page, this one was sketchier, a rough replica of the fierce image Jongin made when immersed in dance.
Jongin didn’t know this book was dedicated to him. There had been books upon books of people, places, buildings, and objects that Sehun had come across in his nineteen years, but never had he put so much care into every page. In others he was allowed to have off days, some pages ripped from the binding in frustration, others coated in black paint as a memory (and also so he didn’t have to waste the back of the sheet). This one was special, it was cheesy he could admit, but it was the only way he knew how to explain how much Jongin meant to him. He drew whenever he could, some pages were littered in harsh, dark lines, smudges accentuating sharp cheekbones - the days he was angry at Jongin. Others in soft, crisp arcs - the days of longing when neither of their schedules allowed time for them.
When they were in the crushing and tentative flirting stages, Sehun had sometimes scribbled doodles of the older boy’s expressions in the corners of his work books, but quickly scratched them out with black strikes, an embarrassed blush dusting his cheeks.
When they had first started dating, Jongin had come over unannounced one day and opened his bedroom door only to be greeted with countless sketches and detailed drawings of his own face staring back at him. Sehun had been riding the waves of bliss of a new relationship and his happiness had caused him to go on rampage. The smaller boy had barrelled into him, almost stumbling in his haste. He had forced Jongin back out into the corridor in a matter of seconds, the bedroom door shutting with a snap. He had been blushing then too.
Sehun was skilled, he would deny it, and name the old drawings flat and dead, but any other would insist otherwise. Especially having improved from those fantastical drawings, today he captured emotion and raw depth. He flipped to the middle point of the book; where there were two drawings. He’d employed the use of charcoal slightly, just for the very darkest shadows.
Jongin was livid in this one.
Sehun remembers that Jongin wasn’t even that angry at him, but he’d been at breaking point with ire for other reasons, and a misunderstanding involving Luhan had caused him to lash out.
Sehun had cried then, arms wrapped around his own torso in a poor attempt to shield himself from the hurtful words. They weren’t full wailing sobs, just silent tracks running down his cheeks, dripping to the floor, his face angled towards his feet.
The opposite page was the tender expression Jongin had comforted him with, immediately regretting his actions. He had replaced the arms around his torso with his own, unrelenting apologies falling from his lips, kisses pressing into skin.
He shivered. He wanted Jongin’s arms wrapped around him now.
--------------
Deeming it too cold to be outside any longer and with the sun setting across the horizon, Sehun shoved his sketchbook into the satchel at his side and rubbed his hands together to regain feeling in them.
His eyes followed the branches, weighing the sturdiness of each in his mind, before he latched onto the one directly in front of his face. He squeezed the bark beneath his fingers twice, and then pushed off, his lissom arms tensing under the strain of his own weight. He lowered himself slowly, the branch he was trying to land on was much smaller and he didn't completely trust it.
It turns out his worry was for naught, as the branch that was above him snapped without warning; he was falling far too fast to have any hope of landing on his intended branch and a strangled cry left his lips involuntarily.
His shoulder snagged a lower-lying bough and he landed hard, his foot made it first, but it did nothing to stop his torso from crashing to the ground. His breath was forced from his lungs in a pain-filled gasp. "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid." The beginning signs of night were creeping into the sky and Sehun almost smacked himself out of irascibility.
He caught his breath and paused- his foot felt tender. He hesitated and wiggled his toes tentatively. Nothing broken. He released a sigh of relief, no matter what, he didn't want them to have to return prematurely because of his senselessness. He reached into his bag, his scathed shoulder protesting against the movement, and pulled out his phone before cursing himself once more.
He hoped against hope he had signal, and turned the screen on.
"Thank the lord." He muttered.
He pulled up the call screen and held ‘1’ for speed dial, sighing in relief again when it started ringing: Jongin had signal too.
It was almost immediately picked up, frantic deep tones greeting him, "Where are you!? It's getting dark! I'm sorry, okay? Wh-"
Sehun cut him off, when his phone made a beep, indicating low battery, why couldn't I have brain? And have taken a walkie talkie? He shook his head and spoke, his voice coming out hoarse and with a stutter, "J-jongin. I think I need help." He whispered the second part, pushing his stubborn pride back into the depths of his mind.
"Where are you? Are you lost? Stuck?" His voice had minutely raised in pitch, and only if you knew him as well as Sehun did would you notice, or realise that despite the reassuring lilt of his voice, he was as anxious as Sehun was becoming.
He closed his eyes, "I sort of fell?" At Jongin's silence he continued, "Out of a tree?"
He could practically see Jongin running a hand through his hair agitatedly.
"Can you walk?"
"... I don't know... I may have sprained something."
He wondered if Jongin knew how bad he felt when he didn't receive the chiding he knew he deserved.
There was no response apart from some background noise and Sehun was drowning in shame at having caused so much trouble for the older boy already.
"...can you come get me... please?" He winced at home meek he sounded.
Jongin sputtered on other the end, "Of course I'm coming to get you, idiot." The insult was laced with fondness and indignation. "I was just getting some gear together, there's meant to be a storm." There was worry in his voice.
Sehun watched the solidifying snowfall around him. He swallowed thickly. There was another beep.
"Do you know where you are? Or can you give me directions or something?" He could hear zips and Velcro in the background.
"A little over a mile out I think? I wasn’t paying much attention," He looked around for some kind of landmark. “There’s a shed nearby? It looks really run down.” He squinted, “I’m near one of those circular clearings, it should be on a map?” He volunteered as much information as he could. “I passed an old greenhouse on the way! This one with deer stickers on it!” He added hurriedly, suddenly remembering, “And a water pump near it, I went past that.” Jongin made a noise of acknowledgement. Beep.
“Sehun? Is that your phone? Have you got battery?” He sounded apprehensive, like he didn’t really want to hear the response. Sehun pulled the device away from his face and grimaced at the little red ‘6%’ shining up at him.
“Six percent left.” He answered hesitantly, unwilling to be disconnected from Jongin.
“Shit. Okay. I’m going to hang up, I’ll call when I get to the greenhouse okay?” He shut the front door behind him, “Try not to let yourself get too cold.” Jongin realised how stupid saying that was, “Nevermind, just- I’ll try to hurry.” He quickened his pace, “I love you, you idiot.”
Sehun found a smile working itself onto his face, despite the chill settling into his bones, “I love you too.”
--------------
Sehun was so numb he couldn’t even tell if he was shivering. He was attempting to pull himself back onto a lower branch, just so he wouldn’t be soaking up the snow as it melted through his layers of insulation. He struggled to raise himself enough to lean against the trunk of the tree he’d fallen out of and he was exerted and breathless by the time that he’d finally managed to haul himself onto his feet- or foot. He was leaning all of his weight on his left side, and felt imbalanced as a result, especially since it was his dominant side that was out of commission. He shifted uncomfortably when he felt the cold sweat on his back.
He tried to blink the fatigue away, and thought it was a bright idea to try and walk, now that he’d succeeding in standing - he could clearly do anything.
Needless to say, he didn’t get very far before he’d face-planted the snow for the second time. He’d originally had the grand idea to walk towards to greenhouse to make things easier for Jongin, but that plan was quickly shot to pieces.
He sighed through a mouthful of white fluffy moisture and began the procedure of getting up again.
--------------
Jongin had started sprinting towards the Vogue as best as he could the moment he ended the call, he estimated it would take twenty minutes for him to reach the dilapidated glasshouse. Well, thirty; moving through freshly fallen snow was like running through sand, you weren’t likely to get anywhere fast. He released a plethora of colourful expletives when felt the depth of the snow on the ground, a lot had fallen during the day, which gave him little hope of being able to spot any footprints.
He clambered into the vehicle and shifted into gear. He was carefully driving through the woodland tracks, looking out for any signs of disturbance in the snow that would indicate that his slighter boyfriend had been around. He’d anxiously run his hands through his hair so many times by now that it probably looked like an unattractive bird’s nest. He shoved the thought away and began scanning the area again.
Eventually, he spotted the greenhouse Sehun was talking about and scrambled for his phone, “The number you have called is unavail-”
“Fuck!” He felt panic sweep through him for a split second before he forced himself to calm. He’d packed supplies for this, he could do it.
He grabbed the smaller bag, and dug through to pull out a map. He hastily found his position, and then easily located the only circular clearing within a mile, and let out a relieved breath. He retrieved a compass, it wasn’t dark enough to need torches yet, but he shoved one into the bag anyway and threw open the door. He ran as his legs would carry him to the clearing, which took him a good ten minutes, especially with the falling snow becoming heavier each second.
Once he reached the centre, he squinted and swept his eyes over the biggest trees, “SEHUN-AH!” His throat strained at the force. He turned and repeated the action in another direction. His eyes were flitting across the bases of the trees for any sign of Sehun’s earth-coloured winter coat. Jongin’s own fire-engine red like beacon amidst the white sea.
His eyes snapped to the left when he thought he heard something that sounded vaguely like a response. “SEHUN-AH!?” He repeated, hope swelling in his chest. There was a reply which he couldn’t make out, but he was certain that it was Sehun’s voice.
He sprinted with a renewed vigour when he started to make out the familiar coat slumped against the thick of a tree, the base of this tree seemed drier than all its neighbours, the large evergreen canopy guarding the lower levels from the brunt of the snowfall. He called out once more when he got closer, “Sehun!?” the other boy’s eyes, which were closed up to that point, sprung open. “Jong?” His gaze focused on the approaching form and he gasped in relief, “Jongin!”
Jongin pushed just a little more force into his steps and was soon panting against his boyfriend’s neck. He pulled him close and assessed the damage, “What hurts baby?” Sehun ducked his head and cleared his throat, the endearment got to him like no other. Maybe because of the fact that he was never spoilt as a child, was never babied, was never really looked after, was never really anyone’s ‘baby’. Until Jongin came around.
“When I fell out, I landed on my foot.” He prodded at it, “I think it’s sprained?”
Jongin touched his ankle and pressed lightly, watching Sehun’s face. There was a grimace and then a wince, “Nothing’s broken.” Sehun made a noise of agreement. “I can feel it swelling though.” Jongin glanced at the sky, the snow didn’t look like it was letting up, and the sun well on its way to a nap. He evaluated the way that Sehun was heavily leaning against the tree, “Do you think you can get onto my back? The Rover’s a little way away.” His eyes searched Sehun’s face, and the younger boy nodded softly, Jongin smiled encouragingly because he seemed hesitant, before helping the other boy to his feet. When he looked sturdy enough, Jongin released him and turning, dropping into a crouch. He felt Sehun tentatively press at his shoulders before draping himself over the other boy. Jongin stood easily, hands coming down to hoist Sehun up higher by the thighs. “You okay?”
Sehun nuzzled into the back of his neck before whispering a quiet affirmative.
“Can you hold on a little tighter?” Sehun squeezed around Jongin’s shoulders, before tensing involuntarily at the pain at his shoulder. He grit his teeth, and adjusted so that his uninjured arm was across the front of Jongin.
“Is that okay?”
“Yeah.” Jongin began trudging back, the journey taking a little longer thanks to his precious burden. He thanked every deity that he regularly worked out because his thighs were only just beginning to faintly protest against the added weight and the force involved in wading through thick-set snow.
After a minute or so, Sehun pressed a kiss to the back of his neck, his voice was timid, “I’m really sorry, you know? For shouting, and for causing so much trouble and everything” There was beat, “And… for this.” He pushed his forehead against his neck, “I really am.”
Jongin rubbed circles into his thighs with his thumbs. “I know. It’s okay Sehun-ah. I am too.” He could feel the vibrations across Jongin’s back, and it was reassuring.
--------------
It took almost double the time to get back to the vehicle than it did getting to Sehun.
Once inside, he turned the key and twisted the aircon dial to the max warming setting, although it wasn’t the most efficient. Sehun was listlessly sitting in the passenger side, hands worrying at the hem of his jacket.
Jongin reached over, tugged the zip of Sehun’s coat down and pushed the material off thin shoulders. Sehun let him, the ability to touch was returning to his fingers and he could now feel just how awfully damp the thick material had become. Sehun watched in silence as Jongin then pulled off his own jacket before holding it out for Sehun to slip into. The younger raised his eyes to his face. “Jongin?”
“It’s already warm.” There was a protest on his lips, “I brought a spare, jeez stop worrying.” Jongin grinned, and Sehun, as always, flushed in response. Once he’d donned the red material though, he couldn’t resist curling into himself and inhaling. Jongin chuckled, and Sehun couldn’t even bring himself to feel embarrassed. His older boyfriend still had a silly smile plastered to his face when he reached into a bag and pulled out an elasticated bandage, and a silver insulating blanket. Sehun went to remove his hiking boot, but Jongin batted his hands away, with a “You’ll hurt yourself.” Muttered in his direction. He relented and watched Jongin ease the footwear off his appendage with a gentleness he himself didn’t possess. His sock was rolled down and the reddening, swollen skin was exposed to the cool air, Jongin hissed in sympathy, and then slipped the bandage into place. He threw the blanket over Sehun and stole a kiss before backing up and turning them around.
“Hey?” Sehun turning to Jongin, “Can I make dinner tonight?” Jongin pointedly glanced at his foot, “Please?” the older boy made the mistake of looking at Sehun’s face because he was doing everything in his power to play the cute-card. Jongin didn’t have a chance.
“Okay.”
--------------
Sehun was sat on a high stool in front of the stove stirring the fried rice together, he was just adding the last few bits - a handful of chopped spring onion, and some diced green peppers, before he moved to the omelette. He’d banished Jongin from the kitchen altogether when he’d started hovering over him, but Jongin would forgive him once he’d seen that Sehun had prepared his favourite.
“Can I come in now~?” Drifted in from the living space, and Sehun’s face twitched in amusement.
“No.”
“But Sehun-ah~.” No sir-ee, Kim Jongin was not above whining.
Sehun set the deformed omelette onto Jongin’s plate and popped open the ketchup, he considered writing ‘sorry’ but he didn’t want to bring down the comfortable mood they’d slipped into, instead he spelt out ‘I ♥ U’, feeling content, and just a little bit more than sappy. It’d been a long day, and he wanted Jongin happy too, and he thought this was a good step in the right direction.
But doing, and imagining were two different things.
Sehun imagined that he’d lay it down all suave-like in front of his boyfriend, maybe a coy smile playing across his lips.
However, reality dealt him the ‘forever-blushing’ card.
He’d began limping out of the kitchen, only for Jongin to practically pounce on him, pulling the plates out of his grasp, and acting as Sehun’s living crutch. Sehun let himself be led to the sofa, honestly relishing in the coddling, before the larger boy padded back to get the plates, and snorted.
Jongin returned to his side, puppy-like grin present. “This one for me Sehunnie?” He teased, pointing at his plate, specifically, the little blobs of ketchup spelling out Sehun’s affections.
Sehun’s face flared in embarrassment, his naturally pale skin always made him flush so obviously, “No.” The slighter boy went to grab at the plate, but Jongin pulled it out of reach in alarm.
“Hell no, this is mine.” He pulled out his phone and snapped a shot of the cute meal before Sehun could even blink, a grin slipping back into his features as he admired the shot.
“I’m going to delete it in your sleep.” Sehun mumbled as he began picking at his own plate. To his credit, Jongin actually did look slightly worried. Jongin settled down next to Sehun, their shoulders touching, and Sehun subconsciously threw his legs over the other boy’s knees, and dropped his head onto a broad shoulder, but started and apologised while he struggled to sit up straighter with his hands otherwise occupied, “Ah sorry, you probably need that… to eat… well to use your fork, and yeah, um - “
“Sehun-ah.”
“Uh-yeah?”
“I don’t need that arm to eat.”
“…Right.” He hung his head, until Jongin reached out and gently guided his head back down, the hand running through his hair before dropping back down to pick up his fork.
Sehun was always like this after a fight when he felt it was his fault, a stuttering, blushing, hot mess who tried to make it up to Jongin in the most adorable ways.
Jongin practically inhaled his food, partly because of how good it tasted, partly because he was itching to pull Sehun against him, and for that he needed free hands.
Finally having finishing with the piece of crockery, he quickly loaded it into the creaky dishwasher and slid back to the sofa, his socks lessening the friction against the hardwood flooring. He almost fell over in an attempt to make the length of the living room in one sweep, grinning abashedly at Sehun's outburst of laughter.
The younger boy pushed his half-full plate away and opened his arms. Jongin practically bounded at him - until he noticed the more-than-obvious wince, and the way Sehun's arm trembled.
The paler of the two dropped his arm and hastily went to stand, trying to cover up the small slip. Truthfully, once the pain had died down to a dull throb, he'd gotten used to it and forgot about it entirely.
Unfortunately (or fortunately), it didn't escape Jongin's sharp eye and he guided his boyfriend back down to the sofa, wordlessly indicating that he turn around. Jongin gently pressed a hand at the back of Sehun's neck and move it slowly, adding pressure as he went. It didn't take long for Sehun to flinch and recoil when Jongin's hand reached his left shoulder. "Sehun-ah..." His voice was disapproving and honestly held an underlying hint of accusation.
"Can you take this off?" Jongin tugged at his yellow hoodie.
Sehun raised his arms in assent, and this time he didn't hide the pain-filled expression that crossed his features. Jongin tried his best not to jostle him too much when he pulled the article off. He paused for a second before deciding to slide Sehun's t-shirt off too, while his arms were still raised.
The younger boy shivered, despite the room being sufficiently warmed by the fire, but made no other visible movement other than lowering his arms and subconsciously shifting towards Jongin, seeking some warmth. "Sehun-ah..." This time he sounded positively dismayed, which had Sehun widening his eyes, and turning back to see his face.
"What is it? It can't be that bad."
Jongin ignored him in favour of lightly tracing a pattern into his skin, what normally would have felt pleasant left his skin stinging. Ah, must have scratched it.
But then Jongin added a light force, just a single finger pressing down, and Sehun couldn't hold back the yelp as he moved to alleviate the spark of pain. "Jesus Sehun. How the fuck did you even get this!?"
He was unprepared for the raise in volume and his mouth fell open in shock at the unexpected turn of events. "What the fuck Jongin? It can't be that bad," He peered over his shoulder and the words died in his throat, his flesh was a worrying cross between blue and purple, and the skin was chafed and breaking at parts. "I'll just put some balm on i-"
"For fuck's sake Sehun, do you have no concerns in regards to your health!?" Jongin stood and huffed heatedly, "You fuck off to the middle of nowhere when there's meant to be a fucking snowstorm." He ran his hand through his hair, tugging at the tips, "You get fucking stranded." Breathing heavily, "And you're brushing off the fact that your shoulder looks like you were fucking mauled!"
"It's like you don't even care. You can't even tell me that you're hurting." He turned and muttered to himself, "Damn it Sehun, what's wrong with you?"
Sehun's breath caught.
He doesn't know. Calm down. He didn't know. Sehun was trembling as the words hit home and memories flooded his mind. He pressed his palms into his eyes in vain, willing the scenes to stop playing through his head.
--------------
"What's wrong with you?"
A kick to the abdomen. A book thrown at his face.
He was lying face down on the floor, eyes barely open. He could see the white linoleum stretched out in front of him, only disturbed by chair and table legs, and several pairs of black shoes in varying conditions. Some scuffed and greying, others bright. Polished.
"Get up you little shit." Sneering.
Someone stepped on his leg.
"Not going to say anything?" He stopped keeping track.
"Not going going to cry for mummy?" He paused, mocking dramatics. "Oh wait, you don't have one? Were you too much of a fucktard? Is that why she didn't want you?" He laughed obscenely.
"Obviously no one did since you're still stuck in that shit hole." He recognised this new voice. This one used to be friends with him. Back when he was still at the orphanage with him. But the difference was that Tao got picked. Somebody wanted him.
"I heard it's because he has something wrong with him." One of the quieter ones spoke up with an air of superiority at knowing that tidbit. "Like a disease." Another kick. They were taking their time, talking as though discussing the weather. They knew he had no strength to retaliate.
"He doesn't have a fucking disease, he is one."
They were cruel and ruthless. And they were part of Sehun's daily struggle. The rumours spread like wildfire that he had something 'wrong' with him. As did the speculations.
He had an STD. He was mentally unstable. He was a druggie. He had been raped. He was a rapist. He was possessed. He was cursed. He was a demon. He was a murderer.
Each one more ridiculous and baseless than the last.
The jibes never stopped.
They were thrown at him in the corridors, punched into him after school, flung at his face with erasers. He was sixteen when he was knocked unconscious for the first time. The school management arranged for him to switch schools then, realising that that was easier than trying to control the bulk of the student body.
--------------
He was pulled back to reality with Jongin’s face inches from his own, eyes frantically searching his for some recognition. Jongin hands were warm against his cheeks, his hold tight and panicked.
“Sehun-ah, baby please, I’m sorry,” Jongin was beside himself with worry; Sehun had suddenly stopped responding, and his eyes had clouded over. The tanner boy shook him lightly, then more vehemently “Sehun? Sehun!?” He finally focused dull eyes on the boy in front of him, and was immediately crushed against a broad chest.
Sehun’s hands flew up to feel Jongin’s face and he slumped in relief, clutching at the warm body surrounding him. He hadn’t had a flashback for over a year. Since he’d met the kind-hearted dancer encircling him.
“I’m sorry Jongin.” I’m sorry I’m such a handful. I’m sorry I’m always causing trouble. I’m sorry that I’m a burden.
He felt disorientated and the flashback was only adding to him confusion, emotions merging with the ones of that time, the thoughts of those times. He’d tried his hardest to push them into the corners of his mind, push them away.
“Sehun?” Jongin pulled him back to look at his face again, “What the fuck just happened?”
Sehun’s mouth opened and closed. On one hand he never wanted to recall these awful memories, the hurtful words, and the reason he’d been so withdrawn before Jongin. On the other hand, he honestly trusted the other boy with his life, and felt like he owed it to him.
Jongin continued when Sehun looked to be still struggling with what to say.
“Look we came here to slow down, and sort ourselves out.” He looked away, “That last fight back home took a lot from the both of us, but there is no way in hell that I’m going to let us fall apart.” He looked back into Sehun’s eyes, “And really, we wouldn’t be us without the occasional argument.” He smiled a little at this admission.
“So let’s start here.” He tugged the smaller boy towards him and tipped his chin up, “Talk to me?”
Sehun reached up to trace Jongin’s brow, along his nose, across his cheeks in a soundless tender gesture. He lightly pushed him back so that he’d sit resting against the armrest, and followed along, clambering up onto him, cheek to Jongin’s collarbone.
--------------
When the first tears had fallen Jongin had relocated them to the bed, bundled together under their duvet. He didn’t interrupt, only offering encouraging kisses and smoothing away stray tears. His eyes hardened when Sehun spoke of being cornered, feeling helpless, losing will. But filled with adoration when the thin boy insisted that he was stronger than that, talked of never giving up hope.
Suddenly a lot more made sense to Jongin. Why Sehun never talked of his younger school years, he knew Sehun belonged to an orphanage for some time, he knew the facts, but Sehun had hidden the worst, the darkest, and the loneliest of his life out of sight; out of mind.
He understood now why Sehun was so reluctant to accept help, to rely on others, to trust someone wholly. He vowed to change that.
Sleep claimed Sehun due to exhaustion long before it graced Jongin with its presence.
--------------
Jongin groaned when the shrill tones of ‘I Got A Boy’ started blaring through the cabin, he practically fell off the bed and blindly groped for the device before answering and pressing it to his face, a yawn stifled against his arm as he stretched. He expected the chipper voice on the other end, but actually hearing it made him want to bury himself under a mountain of pillows.
“Yah! Kkamjong-ah!” Jongin dragged himself into the living room, after glancing back at the still-sleeping Sehun cocooned in the sheets.
“Chanyeol-hyung.” He yawned again, hands rubbing at his eyes in an attempt to make them more willing to open themselves.
“Ouch, so cold.” He didn’t sound put off in the slightest. “So, have you done it yet?”
“Done what.” Jongin couldn’t even find it in himself to make it sound like a question.
“Given him the ring you dipshit.”
Jongin’s eyes enlarged to the point where he resembled a different wide-eyed hyung. He vaguely remembered reminders to make it romantic.
“OMHG FHUV!” If there were anyone in the room, they would have been graced with the image of half-eaten blueberry muffin as the boy’s mouth hung open.
“You are not allowed to tell me you forgot.” Baekhyun’s voice filtered through and his tone was positively icy.
“… then I didn’t remember?”
“THAT WAS THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS STUPID TRIP. OTHERWISE I WOULD NOT HAVE ENTRUSTED SEHUN TO YOUR DUMB ASS FOR A WHOLE WEEK.” Jongin had placed the phone on the counter, and no, speaker-phone wasn’t even switched on.
He cringed and picked the phone back up. He’d just been so immersed in spending time with Sehun.
“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.”
“Please tell me you at least told him about the uni arrangements?”
“Double fuck?”
Baekhyun sounded like he had a cat stuck in his throat.
“I think you killed him.” Chanyeol’s deep voice reached his ears once more.
--------------
Jongin sat at the kitchen counter with a blank paper in front of him. He scribbled the titled down with a flourish, ‘Ways to tell Sehun that I got us roomed together, and that I got us promise rings because he’s cute as fuck when I do stuff like this’. He grimaced, dropping his face onto the paper.
“Hey?”
Jongin’s head flew up - SMACK.
“Owshitfu -”
“Ohfuckin -”
Jongin took this opportunity to shove the paper into his mouth.
“Did you ju -?”
“No.”
Sehun blinked, and then ambled away, muttering about batshit crazy boyfriends, and it being too early for this shit.
--------------
Jongin was lost in thought once more, because this was proving to be a lot more difficult than he originally thought it would be. He immediately dismissed ideas like a candlelit dinner and a bed full of roses because even Sehun, the sappiest of sappy people, would cringe.
He thought about dancing for him. Maybe I could finish by pulling it out of my pocket? ....Maybe I’ll just make him dinner…? “Nah, I do that anyway…”
“Do what?” Sehun had emerged from the bathroom, with nothing but a towel tied to his waist.
Jongin ran his eyes over him appreciatively.
“You.”
Sehun’s skin flushed as he realised his state of undress, and he practically ran to throw something on. They were supposed to go on a walk, and if he didn’t do something about himself soon, the walk would end up waiting until tomorrow. At another time he wouldn’t have minded, but he was excited about this, besides, he’d planned to show Jongin the sketchbook when they got back, having filled the last page the night before when he’d briefly woken up.
--------------
They swung their joined hands between them like children. Jongin seemed a little tense but the younger boy brushed it off as the chill getting to him a little, and yanked him closer, trying to alleviate it. Jongin looked at him questioningly at the motion, but Sehun ignored it and tried to will his ever-present blush down, Jongin eventually laughed, and playfully pressed a kiss to his brow before they continued.
Jongin examined Sehun from the corner of his eye, he really was beautiful, all eye-smiles and shielded grins. They were passing through a more enclosed stretch of path - evergreen shrubs and leaves surrounded them, sprinkled with a selection of bare branches of less fortunate trees, everything bathed in a snowy blanket.
Another glance at the expression on Sehun’s face told him that this was the right time.
“Hey -”
“Jo -”
Sehun stuttered and stopped, “You first.” He toed at the snow, a nervous habit. Jongin but shook his head, when Sehun stole another glance at him, and blushed.
Again.
This here, was perfect.
“Sehunnie.” Sehun’s eyes flew to his as the serious tone coupled with the affectionate nickname.
He lost a little steam and scratched at the back of his head, before he summoned his courage and leant in to press his lips to Sehun’s at the same time that he dropped one hand to his pocket, fingers seeking the simple band, with the tiny decorative triangle.
He deepened the kiss when Sehun moaned softly into his mouth, his lips quirking up in amusement at the pliant mess his cute boyfriend had become. He felt both Sehun’s hands at his chest, lightly curling into his coat and gently lifted one, before subtly sliding the band on, pulling the other boy flush against him, and drowning the surprised noises.
Once they parted for air Sehun dropped his face to Jongin’s neck, panting lightly. Before he could question Jongin, the boy spoke into his ear, sending pleasant shivers down his spine, “Stay mine?” There was a gentle kiss to his neck, “Forever?”
Sehun scoffed, but Jongin heard the way his breathing caught, and knew there were tears gathered in his eyes, “Do y-you even need to ask?” He answered with a shaky laugh.
Jongin’s answering grin was beatific, and he expressed his joy by capturing Sehun’s mouth with his own once more, his lips permanently curved upwards. Sehun’s own grin caused their teeth to click together a few times, but neither cared too much. Jongin manoeuvred them so that he was pressing Sehun into a nearby tree trunk, although mindful of his injury, and continued his assault for several long minutes - not that Sehun was complaining.
When they finally recommenced their walk, clinging tighter together with brighter grins, Jongin knew that they were going to be fine.
He looked at Sehun, and caught his shy gaze. Sehun’s blush was was pretty much confirmation, the fairly-rare grin currently glued to his face making Jongin’s heart clench in fondness.
Definitely more than fine.
FIN.
A/N: Sorry this was so jumbled, and jumpy, and generally all over the place. Let me know which parts were your favourites, and if you see any errors, don’t hesitate to point them out!
-Min