everlasting
everlasting
Tablo/Junsu
anyband verse! set during commercial-making era.
He's looking at Junsu, now, and Junsu's wondering what sort of thoughts linger behind those eyes, and it catches him off guard when Tablo's unreadable face stretches into a smile.
1.
Junsu's heard of Tablo - working in the same industry, it's hard to have not heard of him. Tablo's strange and writes good lyrics and can speak English that makes sense, but that's where Junsu's knowledge ends. He never really thinks about getting to know if there's more to Tablo than just what he sees because he has no real reason to, and that's how things stay until the idea that is Anyband becomes a reality.
Junsu's excited - he gets to work with Boa and Jin Bora, and they're both amazing. (Tablo, too, he remembers as an afterthought.) They're recording - Boa's smooth and professional, everything Junsu knows she is, while Bora has soft smiles and kind eyes. Tablo stays to himself, strums guitar in the corner, and Junsu thinks that if they're going to work together, maybe they should become a little more than acquaintances. (He isn't certain whether he can use the word 'friends' yet.)
He goes closer and Tablo doesn't look up, either not noticing him or pretending not to. He's still strumming, and the notes don't make sense together and sound wrong, but Tablo's brow is furrowed and there's a look of concentration on his face and Junsu feels like he shouldn't interrupt. There's a chair nearby with a guitar case on it, and Junsu picks up the guitar case and sits down, waits for Tablo to stop.
Tablo doesn't stop, though. He keeps strumming and hums occasionally, and then the notes are blending in a little better, all of a sudden, and Tablo's foot is tapping out a rhythm that goes with it, and there's a silence in the room because now everyone's listening. It's not just notes, anymore, but something else, and Junsu can't take his eyes off because he's watching music being made. He’s seen it a thousand times before, done it a million times before. Something about the fact that it's so familiar is what makes Tablo look different.
Tablo ends the song slowly (it's a song, Junsu thinks, not just notes.) and there's silence that seems too loud after the music, and Junsu realizes he's holding his breath. He exhales a little too loudly and Tablo's head jerks up and he looks surprised, like he had forgotten that there were others in the room. He's looking at Junsu, now, and Junsu's wondering what sort of thoughts linger behind those eyes, and it catches him off guard when Tablo's unreadable face stretches into a smile.
Junsu thinks that there might be more to Tablo, after all.
2.
They’re on their private jet to Brazil. Tablo’s got his headphones in his ears when Junsu thinks of approaching him again, and his eyes are closed and his head is moving a little to whatever he’s listening to. Junsu doesn’t know how to get his attention and settles for tapping his shoulder (it makes him feel strange - awkward - because of the unintended formality of the gesture).
Tablo looks at him and pulls his headphones off. Junsu feels nervous, for some reason, and he wonders why, and then tries to focus on not wondering why and not looking like an idiot in front of Tablo, instead. (He wonders, too, why he cares, and then tries not to.)
“Hey,” he says intelligently. Junsu doesn’t think he’s felt this awkward his entire life.
Tablo smiles again, a distracted, not-quite-here smile, and Junsu sits down next to him. He’s trying to think of something to say (gets a little desperate when it looks like Tablo’s considering putting in the headphones again) when his cellphone rings, and he fumbles with it a little. There’s a video from the rest of Dong Bang Shin Ki - it has Changmin narrating, following Jaejoong around the kitchen while Jaejoong yells at him to set the table, and Yoochun’s at the side with Yunho. Yoochun is trying extremely hard to help Changmin annoy Jaejoong and Yunho makes pathetic, insincere attempts at trying to get him to stop when Jaejoong suddenly grabs the phone and there’s a close-up of the famous Jaejoong Lips. He mouths several things, most of which Junsu doesn’t catch, but some that he does are ‘you better be eating’ and ‘I miss you more than they do’. Junsu’s smiling when the video stops playing and it’s only then that he remembers that Tablo is still beside him.
Tablo’s staring hard at Junsu’s cellphone and before Junsu can question, Tablo’s asking for a pen and he grabs a napkin from nowhere and he’s scribbling away, and Junsu catches glimpses of English and Hangul. Junsu smiles, then, and thinks that he’s starting to understand Tablo, just a little.
3.
When they’re on buildings that give off the illusion of ending somewhere in the depths of the sky, Tablo tells him that Junsu reminds him of music. Junsu doesn’t know what to say because it’s Tablo that reminds him of music, and it feels like the definitions have gotten all mixed up, but he doesn’t argue. He goes up and pretends to sing - a part of him wants to do it for real, wants it desperately, because there’s something surreal and inspiring about being on top of high-rise buildings in a place so far from home. He pretends, though, and shooting goes well.
It’s Tablo’s turn, then, and Junsu is drinking from his water bottle but he’s looking at Tablo, wondering how Tablo will work with this. Junsu sees that there’s an intensity in Tablo’s eyes when the music is playing (it’s always there, always, but with music, it’s stronger), and it makes Junsu think that Tablo makes this feel real, and somehow it’s enough.
4.
It’s night time and Junsu misses his friends so much he feels like his loneliness might be swallowing him a little. Tablo’s reading a book, thick glasses perched on his nose, and when Junsu heaves his third sigh, Tablo looks up and suggests that they get out of the place. Explore. Junsu thinks it’s the best idea he’s heard all day.
They don’t go very far - Tablo has his guitar strapped to his back (it reminds Junsu of the Anyband commercial and he suppresses the strangest urge to smile) and they walk for about a mile before stopping. They’re at the edge of a river, and the moon’s out, and Junsu thinks that maybe Tablo’s going to bring out the napkin and pen again, but he doesn’t. Junsu sits down and then lies back in the longish grass, thinking of nothing. He feels at peace.
Tablo’s humming, and he’s sitting cross-legged now, testing strings on the guitar. Junsu listens, thinks that he could get used to this.
Tablo speaks, suddenly, and he says, “Junsu.”
“Mm?”
“Will you sing?”
Junsu says yes, even though Tablo didn’t say what he’s to sing, but Tablo starts to play something before he can think any further and Junsu closes his eyes and just listens. He hears the words in the air and the music and then he’s singing them, feeling them, and when it’s over, the hum of summer in the air makes it feel like it’s not.
“Music’s beautiful,” Junsu sighs, and it feels like it’s not enough to describe what he’s feeling.
“I know,” Tablo says, his eyes intent on Junsu, and Junsu remembers, very suddenly. (You remind me of music.)
He wonders how he’s supposed to react, if he’s supposed to react, if he’s overanalyzing the entire situation, why he’s thinking about this and not something else when it’s usually supposed to be Changmin who does the thinking, why his pulse is pounding in his ears and why his heart feels like it’s reached infinity or been lost or exploded (because that’s just stupid, that sort of thing doesn’t happen in real life unless it’s a heart attack), and - oh.
Oh.
That’s the only thing he can think now, because Tablo’s kissing him, and then he only has enough willpower left to think that this is enough. Everything.
5.
“You remind me of music, too,” Junsu admits shyly. They’re the strangest pair, not fitting well at first glance. (First glances rarely speak the truth.)
Tablo smiles, and says, “Music lives forever.” Junsu doesn’t really understand what he means because they’re not immortal. He leaves the thought in the back of his mind, decides to dwell on it later.
6.
They’re leaving for their old lives, and it feels strange. Junsu wonders if he’ll miss Tablo, and he knows he will when Tablo smiles that smile that makes his eyes crinkle at the edges. It’s not a bad sort of missing, though, or the kind of missing that leaves a hole in you that’s so deep that it’s hard to fill in again. It’s the kind of missing that is small and warm and makes you cry sometimes, but it has so many memories and good things in it that it’s a happy sort of crying. Junsu is glad that they’re not so far from each other, after all, because it’s a small world and Tablo’s there for him when he needs him to be. It’s enough that they had what they had, Junsu thinks. It’s enough.
2008-06-29
Tablo/Junsu
anyband verse! set during commercial-making era.
He's looking at Junsu, now, and Junsu's wondering what sort of thoughts linger behind those eyes, and it catches him off guard when Tablo's unreadable face stretches into a smile.
1.
Junsu's heard of Tablo - working in the same industry, it's hard to have not heard of him. Tablo's strange and writes good lyrics and can speak English that makes sense, but that's where Junsu's knowledge ends. He never really thinks about getting to know if there's more to Tablo than just what he sees because he has no real reason to, and that's how things stay until the idea that is Anyband becomes a reality.
Junsu's excited - he gets to work with Boa and Jin Bora, and they're both amazing. (Tablo, too, he remembers as an afterthought.) They're recording - Boa's smooth and professional, everything Junsu knows she is, while Bora has soft smiles and kind eyes. Tablo stays to himself, strums guitar in the corner, and Junsu thinks that if they're going to work together, maybe they should become a little more than acquaintances. (He isn't certain whether he can use the word 'friends' yet.)
He goes closer and Tablo doesn't look up, either not noticing him or pretending not to. He's still strumming, and the notes don't make sense together and sound wrong, but Tablo's brow is furrowed and there's a look of concentration on his face and Junsu feels like he shouldn't interrupt. There's a chair nearby with a guitar case on it, and Junsu picks up the guitar case and sits down, waits for Tablo to stop.
Tablo doesn't stop, though. He keeps strumming and hums occasionally, and then the notes are blending in a little better, all of a sudden, and Tablo's foot is tapping out a rhythm that goes with it, and there's a silence in the room because now everyone's listening. It's not just notes, anymore, but something else, and Junsu can't take his eyes off because he's watching music being made. He’s seen it a thousand times before, done it a million times before. Something about the fact that it's so familiar is what makes Tablo look different.
Tablo ends the song slowly (it's a song, Junsu thinks, not just notes.) and there's silence that seems too loud after the music, and Junsu realizes he's holding his breath. He exhales a little too loudly and Tablo's head jerks up and he looks surprised, like he had forgotten that there were others in the room. He's looking at Junsu, now, and Junsu's wondering what sort of thoughts linger behind those eyes, and it catches him off guard when Tablo's unreadable face stretches into a smile.
Junsu thinks that there might be more to Tablo, after all.
2.
They’re on their private jet to Brazil. Tablo’s got his headphones in his ears when Junsu thinks of approaching him again, and his eyes are closed and his head is moving a little to whatever he’s listening to. Junsu doesn’t know how to get his attention and settles for tapping his shoulder (it makes him feel strange - awkward - because of the unintended formality of the gesture).
Tablo looks at him and pulls his headphones off. Junsu feels nervous, for some reason, and he wonders why, and then tries to focus on not wondering why and not looking like an idiot in front of Tablo, instead. (He wonders, too, why he cares, and then tries not to.)
“Hey,” he says intelligently. Junsu doesn’t think he’s felt this awkward his entire life.
Tablo smiles again, a distracted, not-quite-here smile, and Junsu sits down next to him. He’s trying to think of something to say (gets a little desperate when it looks like Tablo’s considering putting in the headphones again) when his cellphone rings, and he fumbles with it a little. There’s a video from the rest of Dong Bang Shin Ki - it has Changmin narrating, following Jaejoong around the kitchen while Jaejoong yells at him to set the table, and Yoochun’s at the side with Yunho. Yoochun is trying extremely hard to help Changmin annoy Jaejoong and Yunho makes pathetic, insincere attempts at trying to get him to stop when Jaejoong suddenly grabs the phone and there’s a close-up of the famous Jaejoong Lips. He mouths several things, most of which Junsu doesn’t catch, but some that he does are ‘you better be eating’ and ‘I miss you more than they do’. Junsu’s smiling when the video stops playing and it’s only then that he remembers that Tablo is still beside him.
Tablo’s staring hard at Junsu’s cellphone and before Junsu can question, Tablo’s asking for a pen and he grabs a napkin from nowhere and he’s scribbling away, and Junsu catches glimpses of English and Hangul. Junsu smiles, then, and thinks that he’s starting to understand Tablo, just a little.
3.
When they’re on buildings that give off the illusion of ending somewhere in the depths of the sky, Tablo tells him that Junsu reminds him of music. Junsu doesn’t know what to say because it’s Tablo that reminds him of music, and it feels like the definitions have gotten all mixed up, but he doesn’t argue. He goes up and pretends to sing - a part of him wants to do it for real, wants it desperately, because there’s something surreal and inspiring about being on top of high-rise buildings in a place so far from home. He pretends, though, and shooting goes well.
It’s Tablo’s turn, then, and Junsu is drinking from his water bottle but he’s looking at Tablo, wondering how Tablo will work with this. Junsu sees that there’s an intensity in Tablo’s eyes when the music is playing (it’s always there, always, but with music, it’s stronger), and it makes Junsu think that Tablo makes this feel real, and somehow it’s enough.
4.
It’s night time and Junsu misses his friends so much he feels like his loneliness might be swallowing him a little. Tablo’s reading a book, thick glasses perched on his nose, and when Junsu heaves his third sigh, Tablo looks up and suggests that they get out of the place. Explore. Junsu thinks it’s the best idea he’s heard all day.
They don’t go very far - Tablo has his guitar strapped to his back (it reminds Junsu of the Anyband commercial and he suppresses the strangest urge to smile) and they walk for about a mile before stopping. They’re at the edge of a river, and the moon’s out, and Junsu thinks that maybe Tablo’s going to bring out the napkin and pen again, but he doesn’t. Junsu sits down and then lies back in the longish grass, thinking of nothing. He feels at peace.
Tablo’s humming, and he’s sitting cross-legged now, testing strings on the guitar. Junsu listens, thinks that he could get used to this.
Tablo speaks, suddenly, and he says, “Junsu.”
“Mm?”
“Will you sing?”
Junsu says yes, even though Tablo didn’t say what he’s to sing, but Tablo starts to play something before he can think any further and Junsu closes his eyes and just listens. He hears the words in the air and the music and then he’s singing them, feeling them, and when it’s over, the hum of summer in the air makes it feel like it’s not.
“Music’s beautiful,” Junsu sighs, and it feels like it’s not enough to describe what he’s feeling.
“I know,” Tablo says, his eyes intent on Junsu, and Junsu remembers, very suddenly. (You remind me of music.)
He wonders how he’s supposed to react, if he’s supposed to react, if he’s overanalyzing the entire situation, why he’s thinking about this and not something else when it’s usually supposed to be Changmin who does the thinking, why his pulse is pounding in his ears and why his heart feels like it’s reached infinity or been lost or exploded (because that’s just stupid, that sort of thing doesn’t happen in real life unless it’s a heart attack), and - oh.
Oh.
That’s the only thing he can think now, because Tablo’s kissing him, and then he only has enough willpower left to think that this is enough. Everything.
5.
“You remind me of music, too,” Junsu admits shyly. They’re the strangest pair, not fitting well at first glance. (First glances rarely speak the truth.)
Tablo smiles, and says, “Music lives forever.” Junsu doesn’t really understand what he means because they’re not immortal. He leaves the thought in the back of his mind, decides to dwell on it later.
6.
They’re leaving for their old lives, and it feels strange. Junsu wonders if he’ll miss Tablo, and he knows he will when Tablo smiles that smile that makes his eyes crinkle at the edges. It’s not a bad sort of missing, though, or the kind of missing that leaves a hole in you that’s so deep that it’s hard to fill in again. It’s the kind of missing that is small and warm and makes you cry sometimes, but it has so many memories and good things in it that it’s a happy sort of crying. Junsu is glad that they’re not so far from each other, after all, because it’s a small world and Tablo’s there for him when he needs him to be. It’s enough that they had what they had, Junsu thinks. It’s enough.
2008-06-29