gaming girls: ffffffffuuu
I may have spoken of my love for Blizzard games earlier. I like all of their series, much like every other casual gamer out there. I like Diablo and I like WoW and I like Starcraft too.
And I really, really like Starcraft. Starcraft is Blizzard's RTS--this may be a good time to tell you that RTSs, alongside hack'n'slashers and fighting games and the occasional MMO, are my favorite types of games. What makes Starcraft special, though, is its scene. The multiplayer reception for Starcraft: Brood War back in the day was massive--it pioneered the e-sports/professional gaming industry, being particularly popular in South Korea. Complete with screaming fangirls, it was a great sport, both to play and to spectate. It got very popular.
Blizzard, being the intelligent monster it is, took the cue from the success of Brood War. Starcraft II released last year, and Blizzard has been doing everything just right to promote the shit out of it and support its highly lucrative multiplayer scene. Nowadays, we have GomTV, a South Korean channel for Starcraft gaming only, in full English (well, Kpop too), with the GSL tournament series, commentated and cast by the amazing Tastosis, ie Tasteless and Artosis, everyone's favorite hetero life partners. They cast great games, and watching them is mad fun: I enjoy watching Starcraft a lot more than actually playing it.
So, we have an internet-casted e-sport to spectate, complete with brilliant casters that give you an enjoyable time in front of your computer. 's cool.
Except, what with having lives and all, Tasteless and Artosis can't cast all the games all the time. So we have to get other casters. They're mostly good--mostly.
GomTV realized sometime earlier that the English version of its programs was turning into a massive sausage fest because all their English casters, as well as the great majority of the English-speaking Starcraft community, was male, where in the Korean version the main caster among the trio of casters is female. I suppose they attempted to amend that by hiring a female caster.
And the shit really fucking hit the fan there.
This was the girl they hired. I must note that at first when I read her name, I had no idea the MILKIES part in her nickname was a reference for breasts. I paid it no heed.
Also, I didn't know that her blog was titled "fuckslits".
When she actually started casting and commentating I started getting a little bit disturbed, for a number of reasons. The first thing was that she had this odd Singaporean accent that was frankly really difficult to follow, with high and low pitches, and all the time it sounded like she was speaking more Chinese than English. It turned into a whole meme, and it was made one for a reason. Here, let it do the speaking for me:
He definitely doesn't have turrets.
Blue Flame Hellion equals GG!
Here comes the Zealot push he needs more Dark Templars and transition into Macro game yo!
Mutalisks forcing the Marines to stim.
And such. I wish the meme was kidding: that is exactly what she sounds like.
Basically, what I'm getting at is that Kelly's English was extremely hard to understand, harder even to follow; it got extremely annoying as time went by, and I basically stopped watching the tournament if she was casting. I could only take so much of her nasal voice speaking an abomination of Chinese combined with English grating in my ear. Nevermind that--she was paid for it.
It didn't help that she had little insight as to just what she was commentating on. Now, this is details, but Kelly had only the vaguest idea about the game itself. When you're commentating football you're expected to know the rules of football, and the names of the players--and considering Starcraft is more real-timed chess with thousands of pieces, it can get hard to do it without prior knowledge. Most of the time when she was commentating, she was basically parroting everything her co-caster said.
TL;DR I disliked her for these two reasons:
a) Her accent was not suitable for English. Her voice was not suitable for professional casting.
b) She didn't know what she was talking about.
And eventually--
It led to this. Eventually, people became convinced that the above was true.
After so much criticism she was eventually removed from GomTV and I saw little of her beside the drama she ended up causing on the TeamLiquid forums. Alongside haters like myself she had her fans, who I assume to be white knights mostly, because I simply cannot understand why she would receive support--especially after the fiasco where she gave an interview and claimed people who didn't understand her accent were closed minded.
bitch, wat
So drama was caused there as well. I had thought her to be somewhat of an attention whore earlier, but she seemed to take that to the limit eventually, what with appearing everywhere making odd smileys she attributed to herself a la uguuuu am I cute? And it got annoying but what the hell can you do.
Your very basic:
But now look what the bitch did NOW, and I am fucking uploading these to my tc.org account because bitch this shit needs to be saved for posterity:
Yep, a FHM shot.
Pictures of which are uploaded on her FACEBOOK FANPAGE WHAT THE FUCK.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the end of the fucking line. I used to hate Kelly for ruining my enjoyment of GSL. Then I used to hate her for being an internet attention whore GAMER GRRRRRRL. Now she's Morgan Webb gone AZN ^o^;; and you bet your ass I wasted my time typing this shit out, and it's not even because I'm mad butthurt, but because I actually feel sad for her now.
And? It's fucking amusing too.
Congratulations.
I'm sorry, Kelly.