Brandon the Butterfly
This is a story I wrote as a joke for one of my friends. :)
Aka. Honestly, don't click the link without expecting some combination of: confusion, retardation, pointless humor, and random inside jokes.
And, with that introduction... here we go.
Once upon a time...
There was a Blue Butterfly named Brandon. He and his best friend, Gomas the Purple Giraffe lived in a neighborhood full of their animal friends.
One day, Brandon the Butterfly was talking to Gomas the giraffe when he came up with an amazing idea.
“DUDE!” The butterfly exclaimed.
“WHAT?!” shouted the giraffe.
“I had like, the best idea. It’s beast.”
Gomas the giraffe laughed to himself. I can’t believe the butterfly just said ‘beast’. “What is it?”
“We should have a dance battle!”
Gomas laughed. “With who?”
Brandon the Butterfly paused, his mind lost in thought. “I got it! We’ll battle with 3G!”
Gomas paused. “What is 3G?”
“The 3G is only the most beast crew out there!” Brandon’s butterfly wings fluttered insanely as he explained to Gomas. “There’s three guys in the crew. There’s Gerome the Geico, I mean Gecko… there’s Gino the Gorilla, and Gerry the Guinea Pig.”
Gomas laughed. “Gerry the Guinea Pig?”
The butterfly shrugged its wings. “Small, annoying, squeaks. Come on, you know. Guinea pig!”
Gomas laughed and the two friends started practicing for the dance battle. Brandon the Butterfly perfected his flying tricks while Gomas the Giraffe struggled with his dance moves.
“Come on, this ain’t fair!” Gomas complained. “How the hell am I supposed to ‘get low’ when I’m a giraffe?”
Nevertheless, the two were finally ready, and challenged 3G to a battle. 3G agreed on one condition: they fought in Alaska.
“Why Alaska?” Gomas asked.
“Because now Brandon can’t use his fire breath on us,” Gerry said with a laugh. “It’s too cold!”
Brandon the Butterfly laughed. “That’s what you think.”
As the dance battle started, Gino the Gorilla was the first to move. Picking up a block of ice, he hurled it at Brandon, almost hitting Gerome the Gecko as he tried to do a cartwheel.
“HEYYO, what are you doing?” Gerome yelled.
Gino shrugged. “It’s a battle, isn’t?” He threw another block of ice.
Brandon the Butterfly dodged, sending a wave of fire, melting the block and sending a wave of fire at the 3G Crew. All three members ducked and the wave of fire went past them, right into…
“Hey, what the hell is Sarah Palin doing here?” Brandon yelled as his fire breath burned the ex-vice-presidential candidate’s hair.
“Doggone it,” she cried before running away.
Gomas laughed. “Well, she and Mccain lost, so she had to go back to Alaska. The other states are still too busy laughing at her.”
Gino, bored, decided to go back to throwing ice, and Gerry scampered up to Gomas the Giraffe. “POKE POKE POKE! BUAHAHAHA!”
Gomas cried. “MAKE HIM STOP!”
Brandon rolled his eyes. “Hey. Gerry. You can’t poke a purple giraffe! It just ain’t right!”
“He’s a green giraffe, man, not purple.” Gerome pointed out before noticing one of the blocks of ice Gino threw was heading straight for Brandon. “NOOOOOO!”
Gomas the Giraffe saw the block coming and threw himself in the way, getting hit and killed by the block of ice, knocking Brandon the Butterfly down in the process.
Gerome the Gecko didn’t know that though, and threw his arms around Brandon. “NOOOO! Don’t die on me man! No homo!”
Those were the last words Brandon the Butterfly heard before Gomas the Giraffe’s giant neck came down and squished him.
And none of them lived happily ever after… [Except Sarah Palin, who continues to govern Alaska.]
THE END!
Aka. Honestly, don't click the link without expecting some combination of: confusion, retardation, pointless humor, and random inside jokes.
And, with that introduction... here we go.
Once upon a time...
There was a Blue Butterfly named Brandon. He and his best friend, Gomas the Purple Giraffe lived in a neighborhood full of their animal friends.
One day, Brandon the Butterfly was talking to Gomas the giraffe when he came up with an amazing idea.
“DUDE!” The butterfly exclaimed.
“WHAT?!” shouted the giraffe.
“I had like, the best idea. It’s beast.”
Gomas the giraffe laughed to himself. I can’t believe the butterfly just said ‘beast’. “What is it?”
“We should have a dance battle!”
Gomas laughed. “With who?”
Brandon the Butterfly paused, his mind lost in thought. “I got it! We’ll battle with 3G!”
Gomas paused. “What is 3G?”
“The 3G is only the most beast crew out there!” Brandon’s butterfly wings fluttered insanely as he explained to Gomas. “There’s three guys in the crew. There’s Gerome the Geico, I mean Gecko… there’s Gino the Gorilla, and Gerry the Guinea Pig.”
Gomas laughed. “Gerry the Guinea Pig?”
The butterfly shrugged its wings. “Small, annoying, squeaks. Come on, you know. Guinea pig!”
Gomas laughed and the two friends started practicing for the dance battle. Brandon the Butterfly perfected his flying tricks while Gomas the Giraffe struggled with his dance moves.
“Come on, this ain’t fair!” Gomas complained. “How the hell am I supposed to ‘get low’ when I’m a giraffe?”
Nevertheless, the two were finally ready, and challenged 3G to a battle. 3G agreed on one condition: they fought in Alaska.
“Why Alaska?” Gomas asked.
“Because now Brandon can’t use his fire breath on us,” Gerry said with a laugh. “It’s too cold!”
Brandon the Butterfly laughed. “That’s what you think.”
As the dance battle started, Gino the Gorilla was the first to move. Picking up a block of ice, he hurled it at Brandon, almost hitting Gerome the Gecko as he tried to do a cartwheel.
“HEYYO, what are you doing?” Gerome yelled.
Gino shrugged. “It’s a battle, isn’t?” He threw another block of ice.
Brandon the Butterfly dodged, sending a wave of fire, melting the block and sending a wave of fire at the 3G Crew. All three members ducked and the wave of fire went past them, right into…
“Hey, what the hell is Sarah Palin doing here?” Brandon yelled as his fire breath burned the ex-vice-presidential candidate’s hair.
“Doggone it,” she cried before running away.
Gomas laughed. “Well, she and Mccain lost, so she had to go back to Alaska. The other states are still too busy laughing at her.”
Gino, bored, decided to go back to throwing ice, and Gerry scampered up to Gomas the Giraffe. “POKE POKE POKE! BUAHAHAHA!”
Gomas cried. “MAKE HIM STOP!”
Brandon rolled his eyes. “Hey. Gerry. You can’t poke a purple giraffe! It just ain’t right!”
“He’s a green giraffe, man, not purple.” Gerome pointed out before noticing one of the blocks of ice Gino threw was heading straight for Brandon. “NOOOOOO!”
Gomas the Giraffe saw the block coming and threw himself in the way, getting hit and killed by the block of ice, knocking Brandon the Butterfly down in the process.
Gerome the Gecko didn’t know that though, and threw his arms around Brandon. “NOOOO! Don’t die on me man! No homo!”
Those were the last words Brandon the Butterfly heard before Gomas the Giraffe’s giant neck came down and squished him.
And none of them lived happily ever after… [Except Sarah Palin, who continues to govern Alaska.]
THE END!