Going Crazy [One-Shot]
Title: Going Crazy
Pairing: Eunhyuk/Donghae
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Angst, Smut
Warning: Character Death, yaoi
Summary: You've held me hostage for so long let me out
“I'm sorry. I just don't have any feelings for you anymore”.
Frustrated, I ran my hand through my hair. Messing up my 'do' by ruffling and tugging. My teeth were digging so hard into the sensitive skin of my lips that I drew blood. My eyes were surrounded with dark, dark circles. My eyes themselves were bloodshot and wide open, only closing when I had to blink.
I was hypersensitive to everything because of the sleep I was lacking. Every sound I heard, from the cars outside to the wind that wheezed outside of my window, made me spring up and shiver. I was sleep deprived for almost three days, lived on black coffee and energy drinks and kept an close eye on practically everything.
“Tsk”, I clacked my tongue against my teeth as I paced back and forth my small living room. I stopped at the window and opened the curtain slightly, so I could peek outside. It was night so the street was lightened up by the streetlights. Adrenaline pumped through my veins as I searched for the black Audi A5. The one that usually was parked across from my house, underneath that one broken streetlight.
I withdrew from the curtain and took a few steps back from the window. It wasn't there. My breathing began to increase and I could hear my heartbeat thumping in my ears. It wasn't there. Relief washed over me, all the tension I had carried for these three days slipped off of my shoulders and I sunk down on my couch.
“He isn't there”, I muttered relieved and shocked at the same time. I lay down onto the couch, hugging one of the pillows close to me as I stared absentmindedly into space. I was so into my own world that I didn't even notice myself falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.
“Donghae! Donghae! Donghae wake up!”, a deep but loud voice woke me up rather violently. Hands gripping my shoulders steadily while that person was shaking me. My eyes shot open and my face turned into a scowl as I was met with the sight of my younger brother Henry.
“I'm awake. I'm awake”, I responded sullen and pushed the younger off of me. I rubbed my face and sat up, glaring at Henry for waking me up.
“You look like shit”, Henry pointed out as he eyed me from head to toe. I snarled at him and threw a pillow at his face.
As my mind began to function more clearly I looked at my brother in shock. “How did you come in?”, I had asked him.
“Your door was open.. As in wide open”, Henry answered. “You should be more careful, hyung. People could waltz in here and steal everything you own”, he scolded. I gulped loudly as I let the words sink into me. I sprung up off the couch, ran to the corridor and looked at my door. My heart sunk to the bottom of my stomach when I noticed that the barricade I had put there was gone.
I ran through my house, checking every corner of every room. Looking for something, something to prove that the sick fuck was in my house. I stopped dead in my tracks when I stood in front of the mirror in my bathroom. Anxiety made my blood run cold, it made tears fall down onto my sunken cheeks and it made me feel nauseous. I stumbled back and sat down on my toilet, still staring at the mirror.
Lick marks.
There were lick marks on my mirror. I started trembling, my vision became blurry and I felt lightheaded. In the back of my mind I could vaguely make out Henry who was shaking me again. Henry who was trying to get me back to earth, but my head was only full of the lick marks, the sleep-deprived days and my stalker.
After a long time I found myself pulling my younger brother against me and cried into the crook of his neck. I've been stalked for months by this man. He'd been calling me on and off, telling me how he'd be a good partner. He would even whispered all the dirty things he wanted to do with me. He told me he loved me.
“Hyung, you're phone is ringing”, Henry's shaky voice rung through my ears. I stopped crying momentarily and looked up to watch my brothers worried face. I listened and also heard my phone ringing. My heart began to beat louder and my breathing pace increased as I became even more frightened that I already was.
The ringing stopped but before I could sigh out in relief, I heard it go over to voicemail. “Soooorry, not home right now. Leave message and I might call you back”, my recorded voice rang through my quiet house.
“Did you like my little gift that I left behind, Donghae-yah?”, I went rigid in Henry's arms at the sound of that familiar voice. “Hm, I missed you Donghae-yah. I stole a kiss or two from you while you were asleep. You look like an angel, a beautiful angel. My angel. Well, I will see you soon my love. I love you”, then the line got cut off.
“Donghae, who was that?”, Henry asked me when the line got cut off and silence overcame us. I didn't answer so instead I buried my face against his chest, held him close to me and cried again.
After a few hours my little brother had left my house, reluctantly though. He was persistent at first but the words of my stalker still rung clearly through my head. I will see you soon my love. I didn't know what he could be up to, what he was capable of, because of that I didn't want my brother in the house. Or anywhere near me for that matter.
I was sitting on the last steps of my staircase, clinging onto balustrade. I felt so powerless, so weak and most of all scared. All the energy was drained out of me, my mind was blank and above all I was tired. He had me cornered like an animal in a cage too small for him.
I wondered how long I was going to run.
When was this torture was finally going to stop?
How long was I going to live in this messed up situation before I finally lose my mind?
As I heard the door open I let out a chuckle, one of defeat. With half-lidded, red and puffy eyes I looked up to the intruder. With a sad smile on my face and my shoulder still leaning against the balustrade, I lifted up both my hands to him.
“You're here”, I said. The man took both of my outstretched hands and gently pulled my up my feet. He supported my weight by circling his arms around my waist and pulling me against him. I put my hands around his neck and let my head rest on his well-defined chest.
His scent hit my nostrils and I found myself snuggling into him, sniffing more of it in and tightening my hold onto him. His plump lips were pressing themselves onto my skin on my neck.
“You're here, Hyukjae”, I muttered against his shirt and I leaned away a bit to look at him. He had dyed his hair from platinum blonde to his normal black color. The sides were shaved, creating a bit of a mowhawk. He had lost weight but he still was as handsome as before.
“I'm here, Hae. I'm not letting go”, he whispered back lovingly. I cupped his jaw and pulled him closer to me, until his lips touched mine in an innocent kiss. Our lips moved in sync, still innocently until things started to get more heated. Tongues were entwined with each other, hands roaming each others bodies and I stepped backwards onto the steps, letting myself get guided by Hyukjae. Clothes were flying all over the place, our lips reuniting again with each others skin. We were naked when we finally tumbled onto my bed, him hovering over me.
His hand caressed my face, his eyes staring at me with such an intensity that it made my cock harden. I into his touch and once again pulled him down, kissing him once again. Everywhere he touched it felt as if my skin was burning, I found myself wanting more and more.
“I missed you”, he said in this low, deep voice as he kissed his way down on my chest. I let out throaty moan when his hand grabbed my cock and started to move in a torturous slow pace. Finally after a few more kisses Hyukjae closed his mouth around the head, his tongue lapping at the slit.
“Fuck”, I breathed out when he took me inside of his mouth deeper and deeper. My hands shot up and tangled themselves into his black hair and my hips started thrusting upwards. It felt so good having my dick inside of his wet and hot mouth.
I let out a protesting whine when his mouth left me and I stared him with a lost look on my face. He flashed me his signature gummy smile which made my heartbeat increase it's speed. He put two of his fingers into his mouth, his hand replacing his mouth on my neglected cock, and started sucking them while he stroked me.
I almost came at the sight of it.
With a mischievous grin, he pulled his fingers from his mouth and leaned down to lap at my dick. I started to gasp and buck my hips again when I felt one of his saliva-coated fingers prod at my entrance. My hands digging into the sheets so hard that I swear I could hear it rip.
“Relax baby”, he said and rubbed my thigh with his free hand. I took in a deep breath and forced myself to relax while he slid his finger in and out of me. I knew this was going to get better, Hyukjae always knew how to make me feel good.
Hyukjae slipped in his second finger after he felt that I adjusted to his first one. He held my moving hips still with one hand and began distracting me by taking me in his mouth again. I was gasping and moaning from both pleasure and pain. After a good few minutes of preparing me he got onto his knees again and positioned himself in front of me. He brought my legs up and I locked them around his waist.
We locked eyes and with a almost hesitant nod with my head, he began pushing in slowly. It burned, it felt like I was getting ripped. I let out a choked gurgled sound, it was so painful that I was really on the verge of crying. Again.
When he was fully sheeted inside of me he didn't gave me time to adjust, he just started a very slow pace. At some point I didn't even know if I was making incoherent sounds out of pain or raw pleasure.
“Hyukkie, faster”, I breathed out and stared at him desperately. Hyukjae shifted around a bit to get more comfortable before pulling out completely and plunging back in, hitting my prostate dead-on.
I fucking screamed my lungs out. He began pounding into me with a crazy speed, kept on hitting my prostate making stars and white lights appear in front of my eyes. My brain was blank, my mouth spurting out all sorts of things I didn't even understand and my body convulsing with an indescribable carnal pleasure.
A familiar feeling started to pool in my stomach. It made my hips snap against Hyukjae's and my hand reaching for my dick. He noticed it, a smirk plastered on his face, and overlapped his hand over mine. Both of us stroking me.
“Hyuk- ah- fuck- I'm c-cumming”, I was surprised with myself that I managed to get something somewhat coherent out of me. He leaned down, captured my lips with his again before pulling out and sliding in deep. My scream was smothered by his mouth as my hole clenched down on his cock and cum sprayed both his and my abdomen.
“Hae, fuck! I love you!”, Hyukjae growled out as he began filling my insides with his white, sticky cum. He toppled down on top of me and held me tightly. He started kissing every piece of skin he could reach for. I was stroking his hair affectionately, purring when I felt his come dripping out of me.
He slid off of me and settled down next to me, pulling me half on top of him and just held me. I felt how his breathing and heartbeat slowed down, then looked up to see him peacefully sleeping next to me. I caressed his cheek before wiggling myself out of his warm embrace.
Surprisingly enough I wasn't limping, it only stung. I slipped into my bathroom, ignoring the marks on the mirror and went to get a quick shower. As I showered I started to collect all my thoughts again. I got out of the shower, got myself dressed and sneaked back into my room again. Hyukjae was a deep sleeper, I bet not even a horde of hippos could wake him up.
I supported my weight against the door post as I looked at him. A lot of people would call him ugly, his gummy smile stupid and his body too skinny. I disagreed with all of that. Hyukjae was perfect, beautiful, handsome, stunning. I loved his goofy, gummy smile; it showed that he was truly enjoying something or truly happy. I just hated how he always tried to cover it up. He wasn't skinny at all, because underneath all the fabric lies a body more defined and muscled as mine.
He had a rather peculiar way of dressing. A lot of people would always call him a 'fashion-terrorist', however I found that the clothes suited him. He stood out from the crowd, made people stare at him oddly but it was him. He didn't pretend to be someone else just to suit their desires.
I tiptoed towards the figure lying on my bed and crawled next to him. I tangled my hand in his black hair, caressed his soft, flawless skin and traced the outline of his full, pink lips. I leaned in and pressed my lips against his, tears slowly trickled down and I circled my arms around him.
*__*
It was deep in the night as I drove over the deserted roads, only the moon and my car-lights to guide me. Music was softly playing in the background as I drove.
“Donghae meet my younger brother, Hyukjae”, my friend Heechul, a feminine-looking guy, who could be easily mistaken as a woman, said to me. I looked at the man standing next to Heechul and I felt my heart skip a beat, my breath hitch and a blush covering my face.
“H-hello m-my n-name is H-Heechul, D-donghae's friend”, I had stuttered out clumsily in my Mokpo accent, not fully realizing what I had said.
“Yah!”, Heechul suddenly screeched and slapped my head. “Lee Donghae, you switched up our names!”, he scolded and put both of is hands on his hips. He looked at me, trying to be upset but I could see a hint of amusement behind it.
“Hello, my name is Lee Hyukjae”, the guy standing next to Heechul said softly. He had his head tilted down and looked at me from underneath his eyelashes.
“Don't be rude both of you, shake hands”, the eldest among us pressed and patted both of our arms. Hesitantly and giggly we both stretched out our hands to give each other a handshake.
When we finally touched I felt this wave of calmness wash over me. I held onto him tighter and he returned it. A shy, gummy smile appeared on his face and was awestruck by the beauty of it. I gave him a goofy grin back and shook his hand excitingly.
“Hyukjae”
“Donghae”
We held hands the rest of the day, smiling happily to each other. 'So this is what love at first sight means', I mused to myself as we followed Heechul through the mall.
“Hyukjae, we were really innocent back then.. hm”, I whispered, silence answered me.
I stormed my way into his apartment, ignoring him shouting out my name behind me. I had just seen Hyukjae standing a little bit too close to a woman. Laughing just a little too much at that woman. He only noticed me when I scraped my throat loud enough for both of them to turn around their heads.
“Baby”, he had greeted me happily.
“Fuck you”, I had spat back, turned around and stormed off.
Back into his apartment I sat down angrily on the couch, arms crossed and with a pout on my lips. My boyfriend came running into his apartment not long after me, panting and looking at me worriedly.
He sat down next to me on the couch and moved to touch me. I responded by turning my back against him and huffed.
“Baby”, he called out and I felt him move closer.
“Babe”
“Hae”
“Donghaeeee~”, he began whining and shook my shoulders back and forth. “Don't be mad, baby”, he added with desperation and pressed his chest against my back.
“Who says I'm mad”, I snapped at him, not looking at his face which was leaning on my shoulder.
“Can I get a kiss then?”, my lover asked hopefully and circled his arms around my waist, pressing us closer together.
“Go kiss that woman you talked with! You seemed to have such a good time with her!”, I growled back, wiggled myself out of his embrace and walked over to the other side of the room. Then I heard him chuckling, it made my blood boil. I turned around and glared at him, making Hyukjae smile at me adoringly.
“Donghae, that was my niece”, he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Honey, you know that I will never cheat on you. You are my everything. You know I love you and besides, I'm gay”, he was walking towards the dumbstruck me and placed his hands on my waist. To say that I was embarrassed was an huge understatement. I looked down and bit my lip to refrain the tears from spilling.
“I'm sorry, Hyukkie”, I burst out and hugged the slightly taller man in front of me. I began sobbing into his chest, blubbering out apologies. “I'm sorry I didn't trust you. I'm sorry. Don't be mad at me, I was really jealous. I love you, please, I'm sorry”.
Hyukjae's arms slipped around my waist again and he held me close, kissing my crown. I felt his chest rumble when he started to chuckle.
“You silly”, he muttered out and I looked up. He pressed his lips against mine and held me there for a moment before pulling back. “You're the only man for me. The only one”, he stared at me adoringly and loving as he spoke those words, laced with love. I licked my bottom lip and smiled shyly at him.
“Prove it”
I halted the car abruptly, my hands gripping the steering-wheel in a tight grip. My teeth digging into the sensitive skin of my lip a bit too hard, making me wince when I tasted the iron taste of blood.
You know I'm in love with you,
You know you're in love with me, too.
Don't run away from me
I got out of the car and walked towards the trunk. I glared at it, my hands itching to get it open, but I wanted to prolong the moment. I wanted it to be slow, frightening, the way I used to live in. But not anymore.
After a few minutes of standing there I finally opened up my trunk. I grabbed the container that contained the gasoline in it. As I leaned in to grab it, the scent of strawberries invaded my nostrils, making my heart beat faster. I placed the container next to me before setting my eyes on the trembling, cuffed and blindfolded body in the trunk.
Cut the crap boy can't you see
We were never meant to be
Now you gotta let me go!
“P-Please, l-let m-me g-go”, he whimpered pathetically. I smiled in satisfaction when I saw the tear streaks down his cheeks. I leaned down again and gently caressed his cheek, remembering how his skin felt underneath my fingertips. He went rigid when he felt me touching him, then when I pulled my hand back he began to sob violently.
My thumb traced his lower lip before pressing my lips against him, for the last time. I stood up straight again, grabbing the container and opening the lid. My hostage was lying there quietly, his eyes were covered but I could make out a dumbstruck expression.
“H-Hae?”, he whispered out almost inaudible. I smirked, not replying, and started to splash the gasoline all over him. He repeated my name louder when he felt the liquid hitting him. I started to walk backwards, leaving a trail of gasoline with me.
“Donghae! Donghae, what are you doing?! Let me go! I thought you loved me!”, he was screaming and trashing around in the trunk. I slowly walked back, threw the container back into the car and glared at him emotionless.
“You should've left me me alone when I told you that this wasn't going to work out”, my voice effectively shutting him up. “You should've left me alone when I told you that my feeling for you weren't there anymore. You should've listened, Hyukjae. You should've listened”, I tutted.
Let's take our final bow, let's end this here and now (here and now)
You've held me hostage for so long let me out (oh please let me out)
I loved you once you know but that was long ago
What we had back then has faded away
As I walked back to where the trail had stopped, memories came flooding back. From our meeting, our first date, our relationship, our first fight, the first time we made love, our breakup to the stalking. The days where I felt like I lived in a black ocean, no light to save me, only me drowning into the nothingness.
Hyukjae was growling, roaring, screaming. He was calling me names, told me how much he loved me, pleaded me, threatened me. It was pathetic to see him like that, but it felt so amazing.
The ending was near.
My nightmare was going to end here and now.
I reached into my pocket and fished out my lighter. I opened the lid, making a little flame appear. With one last glance to my ex-lover I turned around and threw the lighter over my shoulder. Igniting the fuel that made the flames appear and hastily ran down the path that I had set out of it. I didn't look back anymore and just walked into the dark horizon, leaving my ugly, painful and happy memories flame up with the fire. Burning the monster of my hell with it.
I don't wanna cry no more...
~~~~~~
AN: This is my first time writing smut.. I'm sorry for any grammar or type mistakes. I just don't really want to go read over the smut part again, it's embarrassing and it feels like I lost my innocence >.< Ohhh there goes the innocence of a 16 year old >.<
I hope you liked it though :) <3 /hides again