[Fic] 34. Acceptance Hankyung/Kibum
Title: 34. Acceptance Hankyung/Kibum
Length: 4,782 words
Author: deathisonstrike
Rating: PG 13
Genre: Angst
Summary: Kibum makes a decision he will forever regret.
A/N: 1/100 for the Super Junior Challenge. Here is my list that I am slowly working on. Please don't kill me after you have read this. *bows low* Please enjoy also.
34. Acceptance Hankyung/Kibum
At the age of nine, Kim Kibum was anything but quiet. He was the young boy who ran through the quiet neighborhood with his friends shouting and singing as it rained. Dancing through the puddles of dirty rainwater and waving at passing cars with wide smiles. Kibum did not judge on first impressions. Rather he based his opinion of a person on the ever changing persona that the person reflected out into the world. This gave him a wide variety of friends; anywhere from the shy, quiet Ryeowook to the dorky and clumsy Eunhyuk to the not so big bad bully KangIn.
Kibum was also an only child.
At home, his parents doted on him. Praise filled remarks. The rewards in gifts of money, trips, and gadgets as Kibum continually brought home report cards filled with As. Kibum helped around the house, sometimes being more of a nuisance to his parents than a big help. This was always passed off as Kibum's path to becoming an adult.
Decisions were made with input from all three of the family members. Consensus, negotiations, and trades. Kibum was delighted at the prospect that he could help his parents draw rational conclusions to problems. His friend, Kyuhyun, told him that he was beginning to become an individual. That Kibum was breaking away from his parents' shelter of influences and starting to form his own free thought process. This statement added ammunition to Kibum's conclusion that Kyuhyun was a very smart person who would eventually grow up to be a great philosopher like Socrates or Descartes.
At the age of ten, Kibum's parents approached him with a proposition. His mother sat him down at the glass table and his father sat down next to her. “We want to ask if you have ever felt lonely as the only child of this family. Whether you have ever considered wanting a brother to play with.”
Kibum eyed his mother's stomach, “Are you pregnant, mom?”
Mrs. Kim chuckled, a look of sadness in her eyes. “Unfortunately no. I can not have anymore children.”
“Kibum, please think about this seriously. Would you like a brother or a sister?” his father asked.
The young boy furrowed his eyebrows, “It has crossed my mind. However if mom can't have anymore babies then how would I get a brother or a sister.”
“We were considering adoption.” his father answered, “I have a friend from the company I work at and she was unable to have children. She adopted a delightful baby girl from an orphanage in China. But Kibum, this is a major decision to make. Please think over it carefully and give us an answer at the end of the week.”
Kibum sat in silence as his parents got up to prepare supper. The possibility of a sibling tumbled through his mind. A scale trying to weigh out the pros and cons of such a possibility. A pressure built up in the center of his forehead as he over thought it. Getting up from the table, he cleared his head and headed up to his bedroom to start his homework.
At school the next morning, his mind was focused on the situation. He was reprimanded many times by his teachers as he failed to pay attention. Sungmin, a small cheerful boy who was currently occupying the seat to Kibum's left, leaned over and asked if there was something wrong with Kibum. He smiled at Sungmin when his attention was finally caught, “Not really. Just pondering something.”
Kibum could see Sungmin's eyes light up, “Maybe I could help.”
He explained to Sungmin what his parents had told him the night before, “A brother or a sister? I would definitely go with a brother. I have a sister and she is totally unbearable to live with.” he leaned over, “Yesung told me that girls develop cooties at this stage of life and I could potentially become infected. When I asked Yesung what would happen when I get infected, he said I would become a girl. I don't want to become a girl.” Sungmin whispered fearfully.
Muffled laugher escaped from Kibum's lips, “Don't worry. I am pretty sure you will not turn into a girl if you get infected.”
Throughout the day he asked for a variety of opinions from his friends. The general consensus was indeed for a brother opposed to a sister. Kibum left Kyuhyun's opinion for last, he decided that the philosopher-in-training would give him a decisive decision. When asked, Kyuhyun carefully thought through the scenario while staring up at the cloudless sky. Taking a long sip of cold tea, he regarded Kibum carefully. “I am an only child. I can not give you the arguments for or against such a decision. But as the others have already voted for a brother, I say stick to that. Girls are an entirely different species altogether. You and your adopted sibling would then have more chances to bond with each other. I also suggest that this adopted brother be of the same age as you or so.”
“So you think I should allow my parents to adopt another child into my family.”
“It will make your parents happy, won't it?” Kyuhyun asked, “They won't have to worry that you're making imaginary friends or something equally as silly.”
Kibum thought it over. Kyuhyun glanced over at the taller boy, “Besides if you watch the History Channel on TV then you would know that China has too many orphans and not enough orphanages. Even by adopting one child, you relieve the stress of the orphanages and allow one more child to live a better life than the life of those that are forced to live on the streets begging for food.”
He stopped Kyuhyun before the boy could get sentimental over such a tragedy and the flaw of China's governmental system. “I'll think about it.”
Within the week, Kibum approached his parents, “I have decided.”
“Whatever you choose, Kibum, we will honor it.” his father hugged his wife's shoulders.
Looking straight at his parents' eyes, he took a deep breath. “I think that having a brother would be nice.”
His mother's face split into a wide grin, “That's a good choice Kibum, but have you thought it through thoroughly?”
“I have.” Kibum smiled, “With the help of the opinions from my friends, I have reached such a conclusion.”
“Well done, my son.” Mr. Kim ruffled Kibum's messy hair, “We will immediately send the adoption papers to our representative and the ball will start rolling from there.”
They all gave each other a hug. That night a feast was cooked by Kibum's mother as she hummed happily in the kitchen.
As time passed, Kibum grew into a young teenager, his personality also changed. He was no longer the child that laughed freely through the streets of the neighborhood with his friends. He no longer allowed those around him to see through to his real being. His net of friends grew tighter and tighter. He often wondered about his change, brushing it aside he believed the change would be for the better.
Kibum had long ago forgotten about the adoption papers. The excitement of gaining a new playmate into his life. At such an age, he no longer needed somebody to play with every second of the day. His parents thought he was now responsible enough to go out with friends to watch a movie or play a sport.
When his father brought up the news about adoption again, Kibum viewed the topic indifferently. “I don't think I need one now.” he said dismissively.
His mother blinked, “But you were so excited.”
“But mother, it has been six years since that day.” Kibum pointed out.
“I thought you would be happy to hear that what we had to say.” his father had a frown on his face, “After having our application lost and then found again, we have news.”
Kibum's knuckles went white as he balled them into fists under the table. The frustration of his parents leading him on in such a round about conversation was getting to him. “What is it?”
“They've found somebody that is compatible with our family.” his father opened the folder and showed it to Kibum.
He stared at the wide averted eyes and the bitten lip of a boy which was presented to him in an unflattering photograph. Slowly reading the information, Kibum's eyebrows raised in apprehension. “His personality traits...”
“Reflect yours as of now.” his mother smiled happily, “Of course since we were last in contact with our representative we thought it would be nice to adopt a boy of your own age. Look who they found, he looks like such a sweet child. Mr. Lee said that boys older then ten rarely get adopted. It is very sad, don't you think. So we had a wider variety of choice since we moved up the age specifications.”
“Interesting.” Kibum looked down at the small photograph again, “When will he be arriving?”
Taking Kibum's question as acceptance, his mother replied, “Next week. Which is perfect since summer holidays start then. It will give you more time to bond with him and introduce him to some of your friends.”
Kibum thought it over as he pointed to the Chinese character in the right hand corner, “What is his name? I can't read this.”
“Mr. Lee says his name is... Geng.” his father's tongue stumbled as he tried to wrap it around the single syllable.
“Geng.” Kibum breathed under his breath in contemplation.
A week later a man in a smart black suit with a hand on his briefcase appeared at Kibum's house. “Kim Kibum, is it?” the man smiled down at him.
“Yes.” Kibum said wearily keeping a hold on the door.
“I am Mr. Lee. Are your parents home by any chance?” the taller man asked.
“Yes, they are. Hold on for a second.” Kibum closed the door and locked it before running into the kitchen. “Mom, Mr. Lee is here.”
“So soon?” his mother turned off the stove and took off her apron before striding to the front door.
“Mrs. Kim.” Mr. Lee greeted as the door was opened.
“Mr. Lee.” the greeting was returned, “Please come in.”
Mr. Lee stepped inside and Kibum caught a sight of a boy following closely behind. The tall man stepped aside and gently pushed the boy forwards. “May I introduce you to Geng. If he is agreeable to your family then you may choose to pick him up at anytime.”
The boy's head was already bowed and he bent low at the waist in greeting. Hands played with a loose string on his over sized brown cardigan. His mother smiled brightly, “Please, both of you have a seat. Would you like anything to drink? Coffee for you Mr. Lee? How about you Geng darling, juice?”
The boy nodded his head hesitantly at Mr. Lee's whispered in his ear in Chinese. Kibum's eyes narrowed slightly as his mother ushered him into the kitchen. “So?” she whispered.
Kibum shrugged, “I dunno.”
As his mother made coffee, silence permeated the room. All too soon the timer on the coffee maker dinged. As they reentered the living room, Kibum found himself sitting face to face with the boy. Kibum took the time to observe the other. His hair was too long. Cheekbones prominent and had not retained any baby fat. The body frame was thin and lanky, awkward Kibum decided.
His attention was returned to Mr. Lee as his mother made plans to pick up Geng the following day and the paper work to be done. “In the meantime, would you two like to stay for dinner?”
Mr. Lee smiled, “I'm sorry Mrs. Kim, but I have to head back to the office.”
“Perhaps another time then.” the disappointment could be heard in her voice.
“Yes, another time.” Mr. Lee turned to Geng and spoke to the boy in the other language. In Kibum's mind, he likened the other language to the high pitched nagging of female shoppers in the Sunday market.
As they turned to leave, Geng bowed low again. Kibum had to spend the latter part of the evening having his mother coo to his father about how polite the Chinese boy they had just adopted was.
When Geng was entered into their household as an official member of the family for the first time. Kibum took it as his duty to show the other boy around. He pointed at places in the house and enunciated each place slowly in Korean. “Kitchen. Bathroom.”
He couldn't help but sigh as the other boy repeated every word back at him with a very forced accent. Some sounds came naturally while others were mangled to the point where it was unrecognizable. Kibum sighed, “I guess I need to teach you some Korean then.”
Kibum sat down with Geng over the dinner table. His laptop in front of him with the Korean-Chinese translator program opened. Kibum had no way of knowing whether what he typed in Korean was translated correctly into Chinese, he just had to rely on it. “My...name...is... Kibum.” he typed and repeated it slowly to Geng before he clicked the translate button.
Geng stared in amazement as the characters morphed. He read it, “Wo...jiao...?” he stopped and pointed to the last two characters that Kibum assumed was his translated name.
“Kibum?” he supplied.
Geng shook his head and drew a toilet on the many pieces of paper in front of them. Kibum was caught between amusement or anger. He had no idea if Geng was making fun of him or if his name had literally translated into toilet. Turning the laptop back towards him, he proceeded to re-translate it back into Korean. In the end he ended up with a garbled mess of Korean characters. After such little effort spent, he gave up and bought a Chinese-Korean dictionary for Geng the next day.
Eventually Kibum lost interest in his adopted brother as the days passed. He found him to be a very boring person who was content with reading the dictionary and practicing pronunciation every hour of the day. Kibum did not understand the point of reading the dictionary if Geng could not string together a decent and understandable sentence. His parents tried pointing out to Geng that Chinese could not be directly translated into Korean word by word. However the concept went over Geng's head and he was sent to take a couple of Korean language classes as the summer holidays drew to a close.
Kibum's close friends were curious about Geng, but he vehemently denied them the chance to meet his brother. Only teasingly telling them a small number of clinical facts about him. “You'll meet him in the fall when we all appear in the same class, again.” Kibum gave his trademark smile.
“What is he like?” Sungmin asked, “Is he younger or older then you?”
“Younger, by a couple of months. He's like me I guess, after all he was picked with full compatibility with the family he would be entering.”
“Wow. Now I want one. There would then be somebody in the family to call me hyung.” Sungmin smiled at the thought.
“Well he doesn't call me hyung.” Kibum mulled it over, “He calls me something else. Kibum... gege? I think. I don't know what it means, I hope its not something mean.”
“Oh, it means older brother in Chinese.” Kyuhyun supplied as he popped up from behind Sungmin.
“Why do you know such things?” Kibum asked the smartest kid in the school, “It's unnatural.”
Kyuhyun shrugged and their conversation ended at that.
School resumed with the city still unnaturally hot. The students all had loosened ties and missing blazers, Sungmin whined when the teachers reprimanded him for the fifth time for rolling up his pant legs. “But it's so hot. Kibum, how do you do it?”
Kibum looked smart in his perfectly put together uniform, “I have the whole zen thing going on. Plus I have cold tea with me.”
Sungmin sighed and wiped his sweaty bangs away from his eyes. “I can't believe the teachers want us to sit through placement tests at the beginning of the school year. It's pointless.”
“For you.” Kibum pointed out, “Because you don't study and have a mind that empties facts every two days.”
“Not my fault. Why are we even here? They gave us a full week to study. We really don't need to be in class.”
Kibum shrugged, “Do whatever you want Sungmin. I'm not going to skip with you and ruin my attendance.”
Sungmin sighed and slumped down onto the desk, “It's so hot. What the heck happened to the air conditioning?”
“School maintenance is getting it fixed. Quit complaining and study your butt off. I'm starting to think you don't want to be in the same class as me.” Kibum jibed.
“Just because I'm not studying doesn't mean I don't want to be in your class.” Sungmin pouted and opened the book on Korean literature.
The placement tests were brutal, Kibum was slightly disappointed when his close friends only made it into the second class instead of the first. Sungmin had apologized profusely, “There's still a chance for me to make it into the first class. I can pay some money to retake the tests.”
Kibum sighed and shook his head, “No. Don't do it. They're replacement marks, not substitution marks. If you get lower then you could be placed in a lower level.”
“I'm sorry. But at least you have Kyuhyun to talk to.” Sungmin sighed.
Kibum looked over the list again, “How the heck did he manage to skip a grade and get into first level also? That's just not right.”
“This is Kyuhyun we are talking about.”
“True.” Kibum scanned over the lists one last time and paused on one of the names.
Seeing Kibum's frown, Sungmin directed his gaze on the list. “What is it?”
“Kim...Kyung?” Kibum asked.
“Yeah, I see it. What is it? I admit it is kind of a weird name, sounds like somebody is viciously saying a swearword.”
“It's probably nothing.” Kibum said shaking his head.
At home, Kibum's knuckles went white as his parents congratulated Geng on a job well done on the finals. Geng gave his polite smile, averted eyes, and broken Korean, “I study all time.”
Kibum let out a barely audible snarl. He could not pinpoint why he was so angry at the sight of Geng getting pats on the back by his parents. Calmly walking over to the dinner table, Kibum picked up Geng's score sheet. His jaw could not help but drop at the glaring 100%'s staring back in his face. His mother reached down and snatched Kibum's score sheet as well, “Honey, you also did a good job. I am so proud of you both.”
“Good...job.” Geng smiled at Kibum.
Perhaps Kibum's mind was playing tricks on him, but he could almost hear the, 'But I did better.' Kibum gave a forced smile, “You too. I am proud of you.”
At school, Kibum took pleasure in attaining more friends in the class then Geng did. His adopted brother was content with working on his Korean and studying. Kibum joked about him to his new found friends on an hourly basis. He could sometimes see Geng look backwards into his corner with large eyes. When their eyes met, he would bite his lower lip and quickly look away.
Geng had yet to ask Kibum why he was faced with hostility at school while at home, Kibum acted polite and brotherly. Two weeks passed and Kibum had a growing group of anti-Geng's as his parents directed more and more attention towards Geng than Kibum at home.
A month later, Geng would always be found hiding in the bushes for hours until the school bullies had gone home for the day. He would then take a rather scenic route through various parks and crowded places to get home. Kibum knew of this as he followed Geng at a distance once every week. He took pleasure in knowing he could instill such fear in the younger boy.
On a cold and windy place, Geng managed to corner Kibum alone in the bathroom. “Why?” he asked in a quavering voice, playing with the sleeve of his blazer.
Kibum raised an eyebrow and washed his hands in the sink. “Why what?”
Geng swallowed and advanced forwards, “Why... you doing this to me?”
“I could ask you the same thing.” Kibum dried off his hands, “Why are you taking away attention away from me to you? So what if you are the stupid orphan from China who obtains higher marks then me? Who the hell are you to steal my spotlight? First home. Now here, at school with the teachers. I wished you never came here from China. I wish that time could reverse itself and I had never decided on wanting an adopted brother. But I can't, so I'm stuck with a piece of shit like you who was unwanted. You were unwanted by your actual parents, you should not be wanted by anybody else in the world. You got that?” Kibum poked Geng's chest, “Just stay away from me. Don't even dare talk to me. In time this phase of my life will pass and you'll be nothing more then a bug that I will squash with my shoe.”
Kibum left the washroom with a resounding slam of the door. He thought back to the look on Geng's face and smirked. Either the younger boy had not comprehended Kibum's rant, or he was horrified at such words thrown at him. Kibum's heart felt light and airy as some of the rage he had held against Geng had been relieved. He ignored the horrible feeling that tugged on the bottom of his stomach.
Kibum sighed in bliss as he was lounging around the cafeteria with his group of friends. Months had passed since Geng had talked to him. The older boy enjoyed the silence and awkward moments between them as they met accidentally in empty classrooms and secluded hallways. His parents suspected nothing out of the ordinary for the two and left them alone, except for the occasional reminders of finals coming soon before the winter break.
In the library, the two constantly met. Always searching for the same books for their research papers and study materials. Kibum always shoved the younger boy away and took all the reference materials he needed to check out. This resulted in Geng avoiding the school library in favor for the public library halfway across the city. Kibum felt elation every time, Geng's head ducked in a small bow every time they saw each other. He reveled in the submission from the younger boy.
Finals came and went. Faster then they could review the full course material. As their marks were posted on the front bulletins for all to see, Kibum saw red. As he would have expected the school's genius, Kyuhyun, had taken first place. What he didn't expect was to be third after Geng who stole second spot. Gritting his teeth, he turned towards the entrance. Glancing out of the corner of his eye, he felt slightly better as bullies picked on Geng about his second place status.
Reaching home, Kibum remembered that it was his parents monthly night out. Both of them would not reach home until early in the morning, only to lay dead to the world until their workday would start. Geng also was not home. Expecting him to be at home soon, Kibum went into the kitchen to create himself a large fruit salad in order to pass the time until he could confront the younger boy.
He watched out the window as clouds gathered and lightning illuminated them in the sky. Smiling he watched as the rain hit the streets hard, soaking every object and creature outside that was unfortunate enough to be there. The thunder was loud and near as a dark figure bolted up the sidewalk towards his house. Another rumble shook the sky and Kibum could hear the dropping of many books on the front step. Scrambling sounds for the key in the mailbox. “Whoops.” Kibum smirked as he glanced at the small golden object lying on the table.
Sounds of knocking filled the house, “Kibum?” the boy sounded close to tears, “Kibum? Please let me in. Please.” the plea came in sobs.
Kibum stubbornly savored his pineapple. Slowly moving it around his mouth, letting the sweet juice drain out of the small cube of fruit. He slowly chewed and swallowed before placing a piece of Honeydew in his mouth next and repeating the process.
Eventually the knocking became less frequent as the storm grew in ferocity. Kibum could hear the sniffling sounds the other was making and the quiet whimpering as thunder and lightning cracked through the sky. He slowly finished off his fruit salad and poured himself a tall glass of orange juice. Through the kitchen window, Kibum had a partial view of the front door. It was enough to see Geng curled up in the corner trying to gain shelter from the side of the house. He rejoiced as he saw Geng crying and banging on the door for entrance.
It wasn't until an hour after the storm blew itself out that Kibum opened the door to Geng's weak knocking and pleas. “Oh, Geng.” Kibum pretended to be surprised, “How long have you been out here? You're all wet. Why didn't you ring the doorbell?”
Geng was quiet as he gathered his thoroughly soaked books and trudged upstairs. Kibum smiled up at him, “Maybe...next time then.”
The soaked boy paused at the top of the steps. Kibum had no doubt in his mind that Geng knew exactly what he was implying. Dropping the wet books on the ground, Geng turned around. “What I do to make you like me?” fatigue filled his voice.
The reply came carelessly, “Oh, I don't know. Maybe if you jump off a very high building, I might consider even wanting to look at you without feeling the urge to vomit.” Kibum pushed past Geng to reach his room.
Kibum was spending the afternoon charming one of his female classmates in the school cafeteria over iced coffee. Feeling his cellphone vibrate and emit a cheery tune, he excused himself and pulled it out of his back pocket. “Sungmin? What do you want?”
“Kibum-ah! You're...you're brother is on the rooftop of the main school building!” Sungmin's voice crackled through the line.
“What brother, Sungmin? I don't-”
“This is not a time to be joking around, Kibum! I really think he's going to jump. Kibum?”
Kibum stood still as the events from a couple of nights ago flashed through his head. His eyes darted towards the direction of the main building and could already see a crowd of people underneath it. Without another moment's hesitation, Kibum's legs were carrying him through the school garden. His ears were deaf to the girl's confused shouts behind him as his mind was solely on Geng.
He rushed past the outskirts of the crowd and jumped through the open window to the science classroom. Kibum could hear the crowd discouraging Geng from jumping and some girls shrieking in fear. Pounding his way through the various of hallways and stairs, many teachers came out of their classrooms obliviously shouting at him to slow down. He pushed on the door to the roof, but it wouldn't budge. “Geng! Open this door immediately.” he pounded on the metal, thinking how ironic the situation had become.
“Kibum-ge told me that you like me better if I jump off high building.” Geng's voice was as quiet and calm as before, “I jump today so that Kibum will accept me as his brother.”
“I was just joking around when I said that to you.” Kibum pounded his fist into the door at his own stupidity, “Please Geng, you'll die if you jump off of this building.”
“I can tell it was no joke. Your face was serious.”
“Geng, please don't do this. Open the door and we'll talk about this, alright?” tears were running down Kibum's face, “Please, open this door.”
Silence settled between them as the wind blew through the cracks, “Goodbye Kibum-gege, I hope you have happy and prosperous life when I gone. Please tell your mother and father that.”
“GENG!” Kibum shouted over the screams of the crowd below.
Length: 4,782 words
Author: deathisonstrike
Rating: PG 13
Genre: Angst
Summary: Kibum makes a decision he will forever regret.
A/N: 1/100 for the Super Junior Challenge. Here is my list that I am slowly working on. Please don't kill me after you have read this. *bows low* Please enjoy also.
34. Acceptance Hankyung/Kibum
At the age of nine, Kim Kibum was anything but quiet. He was the young boy who ran through the quiet neighborhood with his friends shouting and singing as it rained. Dancing through the puddles of dirty rainwater and waving at passing cars with wide smiles. Kibum did not judge on first impressions. Rather he based his opinion of a person on the ever changing persona that the person reflected out into the world. This gave him a wide variety of friends; anywhere from the shy, quiet Ryeowook to the dorky and clumsy Eunhyuk to the not so big bad bully KangIn.
Kibum was also an only child.
At home, his parents doted on him. Praise filled remarks. The rewards in gifts of money, trips, and gadgets as Kibum continually brought home report cards filled with As. Kibum helped around the house, sometimes being more of a nuisance to his parents than a big help. This was always passed off as Kibum's path to becoming an adult.
Decisions were made with input from all three of the family members. Consensus, negotiations, and trades. Kibum was delighted at the prospect that he could help his parents draw rational conclusions to problems. His friend, Kyuhyun, told him that he was beginning to become an individual. That Kibum was breaking away from his parents' shelter of influences and starting to form his own free thought process. This statement added ammunition to Kibum's conclusion that Kyuhyun was a very smart person who would eventually grow up to be a great philosopher like Socrates or Descartes.
At the age of ten, Kibum's parents approached him with a proposition. His mother sat him down at the glass table and his father sat down next to her. “We want to ask if you have ever felt lonely as the only child of this family. Whether you have ever considered wanting a brother to play with.”
Kibum eyed his mother's stomach, “Are you pregnant, mom?”
Mrs. Kim chuckled, a look of sadness in her eyes. “Unfortunately no. I can not have anymore children.”
“Kibum, please think about this seriously. Would you like a brother or a sister?” his father asked.
The young boy furrowed his eyebrows, “It has crossed my mind. However if mom can't have anymore babies then how would I get a brother or a sister.”
“We were considering adoption.” his father answered, “I have a friend from the company I work at and she was unable to have children. She adopted a delightful baby girl from an orphanage in China. But Kibum, this is a major decision to make. Please think over it carefully and give us an answer at the end of the week.”
Kibum sat in silence as his parents got up to prepare supper. The possibility of a sibling tumbled through his mind. A scale trying to weigh out the pros and cons of such a possibility. A pressure built up in the center of his forehead as he over thought it. Getting up from the table, he cleared his head and headed up to his bedroom to start his homework.
At school the next morning, his mind was focused on the situation. He was reprimanded many times by his teachers as he failed to pay attention. Sungmin, a small cheerful boy who was currently occupying the seat to Kibum's left, leaned over and asked if there was something wrong with Kibum. He smiled at Sungmin when his attention was finally caught, “Not really. Just pondering something.”
Kibum could see Sungmin's eyes light up, “Maybe I could help.”
He explained to Sungmin what his parents had told him the night before, “A brother or a sister? I would definitely go with a brother. I have a sister and she is totally unbearable to live with.” he leaned over, “Yesung told me that girls develop cooties at this stage of life and I could potentially become infected. When I asked Yesung what would happen when I get infected, he said I would become a girl. I don't want to become a girl.” Sungmin whispered fearfully.
Muffled laugher escaped from Kibum's lips, “Don't worry. I am pretty sure you will not turn into a girl if you get infected.”
Throughout the day he asked for a variety of opinions from his friends. The general consensus was indeed for a brother opposed to a sister. Kibum left Kyuhyun's opinion for last, he decided that the philosopher-in-training would give him a decisive decision. When asked, Kyuhyun carefully thought through the scenario while staring up at the cloudless sky. Taking a long sip of cold tea, he regarded Kibum carefully. “I am an only child. I can not give you the arguments for or against such a decision. But as the others have already voted for a brother, I say stick to that. Girls are an entirely different species altogether. You and your adopted sibling would then have more chances to bond with each other. I also suggest that this adopted brother be of the same age as you or so.”
“So you think I should allow my parents to adopt another child into my family.”
“It will make your parents happy, won't it?” Kyuhyun asked, “They won't have to worry that you're making imaginary friends or something equally as silly.”
Kibum thought it over. Kyuhyun glanced over at the taller boy, “Besides if you watch the History Channel on TV then you would know that China has too many orphans and not enough orphanages. Even by adopting one child, you relieve the stress of the orphanages and allow one more child to live a better life than the life of those that are forced to live on the streets begging for food.”
He stopped Kyuhyun before the boy could get sentimental over such a tragedy and the flaw of China's governmental system. “I'll think about it.”
Within the week, Kibum approached his parents, “I have decided.”
“Whatever you choose, Kibum, we will honor it.” his father hugged his wife's shoulders.
Looking straight at his parents' eyes, he took a deep breath. “I think that having a brother would be nice.”
His mother's face split into a wide grin, “That's a good choice Kibum, but have you thought it through thoroughly?”
“I have.” Kibum smiled, “With the help of the opinions from my friends, I have reached such a conclusion.”
“Well done, my son.” Mr. Kim ruffled Kibum's messy hair, “We will immediately send the adoption papers to our representative and the ball will start rolling from there.”
They all gave each other a hug. That night a feast was cooked by Kibum's mother as she hummed happily in the kitchen.
As time passed, Kibum grew into a young teenager, his personality also changed. He was no longer the child that laughed freely through the streets of the neighborhood with his friends. He no longer allowed those around him to see through to his real being. His net of friends grew tighter and tighter. He often wondered about his change, brushing it aside he believed the change would be for the better.
Kibum had long ago forgotten about the adoption papers. The excitement of gaining a new playmate into his life. At such an age, he no longer needed somebody to play with every second of the day. His parents thought he was now responsible enough to go out with friends to watch a movie or play a sport.
When his father brought up the news about adoption again, Kibum viewed the topic indifferently. “I don't think I need one now.” he said dismissively.
His mother blinked, “But you were so excited.”
“But mother, it has been six years since that day.” Kibum pointed out.
“I thought you would be happy to hear that what we had to say.” his father had a frown on his face, “After having our application lost and then found again, we have news.”
Kibum's knuckles went white as he balled them into fists under the table. The frustration of his parents leading him on in such a round about conversation was getting to him. “What is it?”
“They've found somebody that is compatible with our family.” his father opened the folder and showed it to Kibum.
He stared at the wide averted eyes and the bitten lip of a boy which was presented to him in an unflattering photograph. Slowly reading the information, Kibum's eyebrows raised in apprehension. “His personality traits...”
“Reflect yours as of now.” his mother smiled happily, “Of course since we were last in contact with our representative we thought it would be nice to adopt a boy of your own age. Look who they found, he looks like such a sweet child. Mr. Lee said that boys older then ten rarely get adopted. It is very sad, don't you think. So we had a wider variety of choice since we moved up the age specifications.”
“Interesting.” Kibum looked down at the small photograph again, “When will he be arriving?”
Taking Kibum's question as acceptance, his mother replied, “Next week. Which is perfect since summer holidays start then. It will give you more time to bond with him and introduce him to some of your friends.”
Kibum thought it over as he pointed to the Chinese character in the right hand corner, “What is his name? I can't read this.”
“Mr. Lee says his name is... Geng.” his father's tongue stumbled as he tried to wrap it around the single syllable.
“Geng.” Kibum breathed under his breath in contemplation.
A week later a man in a smart black suit with a hand on his briefcase appeared at Kibum's house. “Kim Kibum, is it?” the man smiled down at him.
“Yes.” Kibum said wearily keeping a hold on the door.
“I am Mr. Lee. Are your parents home by any chance?” the taller man asked.
“Yes, they are. Hold on for a second.” Kibum closed the door and locked it before running into the kitchen. “Mom, Mr. Lee is here.”
“So soon?” his mother turned off the stove and took off her apron before striding to the front door.
“Mrs. Kim.” Mr. Lee greeted as the door was opened.
“Mr. Lee.” the greeting was returned, “Please come in.”
Mr. Lee stepped inside and Kibum caught a sight of a boy following closely behind. The tall man stepped aside and gently pushed the boy forwards. “May I introduce you to Geng. If he is agreeable to your family then you may choose to pick him up at anytime.”
The boy's head was already bowed and he bent low at the waist in greeting. Hands played with a loose string on his over sized brown cardigan. His mother smiled brightly, “Please, both of you have a seat. Would you like anything to drink? Coffee for you Mr. Lee? How about you Geng darling, juice?”
The boy nodded his head hesitantly at Mr. Lee's whispered in his ear in Chinese. Kibum's eyes narrowed slightly as his mother ushered him into the kitchen. “So?” she whispered.
Kibum shrugged, “I dunno.”
As his mother made coffee, silence permeated the room. All too soon the timer on the coffee maker dinged. As they reentered the living room, Kibum found himself sitting face to face with the boy. Kibum took the time to observe the other. His hair was too long. Cheekbones prominent and had not retained any baby fat. The body frame was thin and lanky, awkward Kibum decided.
His attention was returned to Mr. Lee as his mother made plans to pick up Geng the following day and the paper work to be done. “In the meantime, would you two like to stay for dinner?”
Mr. Lee smiled, “I'm sorry Mrs. Kim, but I have to head back to the office.”
“Perhaps another time then.” the disappointment could be heard in her voice.
“Yes, another time.” Mr. Lee turned to Geng and spoke to the boy in the other language. In Kibum's mind, he likened the other language to the high pitched nagging of female shoppers in the Sunday market.
As they turned to leave, Geng bowed low again. Kibum had to spend the latter part of the evening having his mother coo to his father about how polite the Chinese boy they had just adopted was.
When Geng was entered into their household as an official member of the family for the first time. Kibum took it as his duty to show the other boy around. He pointed at places in the house and enunciated each place slowly in Korean. “Kitchen. Bathroom.”
He couldn't help but sigh as the other boy repeated every word back at him with a very forced accent. Some sounds came naturally while others were mangled to the point where it was unrecognizable. Kibum sighed, “I guess I need to teach you some Korean then.”
Kibum sat down with Geng over the dinner table. His laptop in front of him with the Korean-Chinese translator program opened. Kibum had no way of knowing whether what he typed in Korean was translated correctly into Chinese, he just had to rely on it. “My...name...is... Kibum.” he typed and repeated it slowly to Geng before he clicked the translate button.
Geng stared in amazement as the characters morphed. He read it, “Wo...jiao...?” he stopped and pointed to the last two characters that Kibum assumed was his translated name.
“Kibum?” he supplied.
Geng shook his head and drew a toilet on the many pieces of paper in front of them. Kibum was caught between amusement or anger. He had no idea if Geng was making fun of him or if his name had literally translated into toilet. Turning the laptop back towards him, he proceeded to re-translate it back into Korean. In the end he ended up with a garbled mess of Korean characters. After such little effort spent, he gave up and bought a Chinese-Korean dictionary for Geng the next day.
Eventually Kibum lost interest in his adopted brother as the days passed. He found him to be a very boring person who was content with reading the dictionary and practicing pronunciation every hour of the day. Kibum did not understand the point of reading the dictionary if Geng could not string together a decent and understandable sentence. His parents tried pointing out to Geng that Chinese could not be directly translated into Korean word by word. However the concept went over Geng's head and he was sent to take a couple of Korean language classes as the summer holidays drew to a close.
Kibum's close friends were curious about Geng, but he vehemently denied them the chance to meet his brother. Only teasingly telling them a small number of clinical facts about him. “You'll meet him in the fall when we all appear in the same class, again.” Kibum gave his trademark smile.
“What is he like?” Sungmin asked, “Is he younger or older then you?”
“Younger, by a couple of months. He's like me I guess, after all he was picked with full compatibility with the family he would be entering.”
“Wow. Now I want one. There would then be somebody in the family to call me hyung.” Sungmin smiled at the thought.
“Well he doesn't call me hyung.” Kibum mulled it over, “He calls me something else. Kibum... gege? I think. I don't know what it means, I hope its not something mean.”
“Oh, it means older brother in Chinese.” Kyuhyun supplied as he popped up from behind Sungmin.
“Why do you know such things?” Kibum asked the smartest kid in the school, “It's unnatural.”
Kyuhyun shrugged and their conversation ended at that.
School resumed with the city still unnaturally hot. The students all had loosened ties and missing blazers, Sungmin whined when the teachers reprimanded him for the fifth time for rolling up his pant legs. “But it's so hot. Kibum, how do you do it?”
Kibum looked smart in his perfectly put together uniform, “I have the whole zen thing going on. Plus I have cold tea with me.”
Sungmin sighed and wiped his sweaty bangs away from his eyes. “I can't believe the teachers want us to sit through placement tests at the beginning of the school year. It's pointless.”
“For you.” Kibum pointed out, “Because you don't study and have a mind that empties facts every two days.”
“Not my fault. Why are we even here? They gave us a full week to study. We really don't need to be in class.”
Kibum shrugged, “Do whatever you want Sungmin. I'm not going to skip with you and ruin my attendance.”
Sungmin sighed and slumped down onto the desk, “It's so hot. What the heck happened to the air conditioning?”
“School maintenance is getting it fixed. Quit complaining and study your butt off. I'm starting to think you don't want to be in the same class as me.” Kibum jibed.
“Just because I'm not studying doesn't mean I don't want to be in your class.” Sungmin pouted and opened the book on Korean literature.
The placement tests were brutal, Kibum was slightly disappointed when his close friends only made it into the second class instead of the first. Sungmin had apologized profusely, “There's still a chance for me to make it into the first class. I can pay some money to retake the tests.”
Kibum sighed and shook his head, “No. Don't do it. They're replacement marks, not substitution marks. If you get lower then you could be placed in a lower level.”
“I'm sorry. But at least you have Kyuhyun to talk to.” Sungmin sighed.
Kibum looked over the list again, “How the heck did he manage to skip a grade and get into first level also? That's just not right.”
“This is Kyuhyun we are talking about.”
“True.” Kibum scanned over the lists one last time and paused on one of the names.
Seeing Kibum's frown, Sungmin directed his gaze on the list. “What is it?”
“Kim...Kyung?” Kibum asked.
“Yeah, I see it. What is it? I admit it is kind of a weird name, sounds like somebody is viciously saying a swearword.”
“It's probably nothing.” Kibum said shaking his head.
At home, Kibum's knuckles went white as his parents congratulated Geng on a job well done on the finals. Geng gave his polite smile, averted eyes, and broken Korean, “I study all time.”
Kibum let out a barely audible snarl. He could not pinpoint why he was so angry at the sight of Geng getting pats on the back by his parents. Calmly walking over to the dinner table, Kibum picked up Geng's score sheet. His jaw could not help but drop at the glaring 100%'s staring back in his face. His mother reached down and snatched Kibum's score sheet as well, “Honey, you also did a good job. I am so proud of you both.”
“Good...job.” Geng smiled at Kibum.
Perhaps Kibum's mind was playing tricks on him, but he could almost hear the, 'But I did better.' Kibum gave a forced smile, “You too. I am proud of you.”
At school, Kibum took pleasure in attaining more friends in the class then Geng did. His adopted brother was content with working on his Korean and studying. Kibum joked about him to his new found friends on an hourly basis. He could sometimes see Geng look backwards into his corner with large eyes. When their eyes met, he would bite his lower lip and quickly look away.
Geng had yet to ask Kibum why he was faced with hostility at school while at home, Kibum acted polite and brotherly. Two weeks passed and Kibum had a growing group of anti-Geng's as his parents directed more and more attention towards Geng than Kibum at home.
A month later, Geng would always be found hiding in the bushes for hours until the school bullies had gone home for the day. He would then take a rather scenic route through various parks and crowded places to get home. Kibum knew of this as he followed Geng at a distance once every week. He took pleasure in knowing he could instill such fear in the younger boy.
On a cold and windy place, Geng managed to corner Kibum alone in the bathroom. “Why?” he asked in a quavering voice, playing with the sleeve of his blazer.
Kibum raised an eyebrow and washed his hands in the sink. “Why what?”
Geng swallowed and advanced forwards, “Why... you doing this to me?”
“I could ask you the same thing.” Kibum dried off his hands, “Why are you taking away attention away from me to you? So what if you are the stupid orphan from China who obtains higher marks then me? Who the hell are you to steal my spotlight? First home. Now here, at school with the teachers. I wished you never came here from China. I wish that time could reverse itself and I had never decided on wanting an adopted brother. But I can't, so I'm stuck with a piece of shit like you who was unwanted. You were unwanted by your actual parents, you should not be wanted by anybody else in the world. You got that?” Kibum poked Geng's chest, “Just stay away from me. Don't even dare talk to me. In time this phase of my life will pass and you'll be nothing more then a bug that I will squash with my shoe.”
Kibum left the washroom with a resounding slam of the door. He thought back to the look on Geng's face and smirked. Either the younger boy had not comprehended Kibum's rant, or he was horrified at such words thrown at him. Kibum's heart felt light and airy as some of the rage he had held against Geng had been relieved. He ignored the horrible feeling that tugged on the bottom of his stomach.
Kibum sighed in bliss as he was lounging around the cafeteria with his group of friends. Months had passed since Geng had talked to him. The older boy enjoyed the silence and awkward moments between them as they met accidentally in empty classrooms and secluded hallways. His parents suspected nothing out of the ordinary for the two and left them alone, except for the occasional reminders of finals coming soon before the winter break.
In the library, the two constantly met. Always searching for the same books for their research papers and study materials. Kibum always shoved the younger boy away and took all the reference materials he needed to check out. This resulted in Geng avoiding the school library in favor for the public library halfway across the city. Kibum felt elation every time, Geng's head ducked in a small bow every time they saw each other. He reveled in the submission from the younger boy.
Finals came and went. Faster then they could review the full course material. As their marks were posted on the front bulletins for all to see, Kibum saw red. As he would have expected the school's genius, Kyuhyun, had taken first place. What he didn't expect was to be third after Geng who stole second spot. Gritting his teeth, he turned towards the entrance. Glancing out of the corner of his eye, he felt slightly better as bullies picked on Geng about his second place status.
Reaching home, Kibum remembered that it was his parents monthly night out. Both of them would not reach home until early in the morning, only to lay dead to the world until their workday would start. Geng also was not home. Expecting him to be at home soon, Kibum went into the kitchen to create himself a large fruit salad in order to pass the time until he could confront the younger boy.
He watched out the window as clouds gathered and lightning illuminated them in the sky. Smiling he watched as the rain hit the streets hard, soaking every object and creature outside that was unfortunate enough to be there. The thunder was loud and near as a dark figure bolted up the sidewalk towards his house. Another rumble shook the sky and Kibum could hear the dropping of many books on the front step. Scrambling sounds for the key in the mailbox. “Whoops.” Kibum smirked as he glanced at the small golden object lying on the table.
Sounds of knocking filled the house, “Kibum?” the boy sounded close to tears, “Kibum? Please let me in. Please.” the plea came in sobs.
Kibum stubbornly savored his pineapple. Slowly moving it around his mouth, letting the sweet juice drain out of the small cube of fruit. He slowly chewed and swallowed before placing a piece of Honeydew in his mouth next and repeating the process.
Eventually the knocking became less frequent as the storm grew in ferocity. Kibum could hear the sniffling sounds the other was making and the quiet whimpering as thunder and lightning cracked through the sky. He slowly finished off his fruit salad and poured himself a tall glass of orange juice. Through the kitchen window, Kibum had a partial view of the front door. It was enough to see Geng curled up in the corner trying to gain shelter from the side of the house. He rejoiced as he saw Geng crying and banging on the door for entrance.
It wasn't until an hour after the storm blew itself out that Kibum opened the door to Geng's weak knocking and pleas. “Oh, Geng.” Kibum pretended to be surprised, “How long have you been out here? You're all wet. Why didn't you ring the doorbell?”
Geng was quiet as he gathered his thoroughly soaked books and trudged upstairs. Kibum smiled up at him, “Maybe...next time then.”
The soaked boy paused at the top of the steps. Kibum had no doubt in his mind that Geng knew exactly what he was implying. Dropping the wet books on the ground, Geng turned around. “What I do to make you like me?” fatigue filled his voice.
The reply came carelessly, “Oh, I don't know. Maybe if you jump off a very high building, I might consider even wanting to look at you without feeling the urge to vomit.” Kibum pushed past Geng to reach his room.
Kibum was spending the afternoon charming one of his female classmates in the school cafeteria over iced coffee. Feeling his cellphone vibrate and emit a cheery tune, he excused himself and pulled it out of his back pocket. “Sungmin? What do you want?”
“Kibum-ah! You're...you're brother is on the rooftop of the main school building!” Sungmin's voice crackled through the line.
“What brother, Sungmin? I don't-”
“This is not a time to be joking around, Kibum! I really think he's going to jump. Kibum?”
Kibum stood still as the events from a couple of nights ago flashed through his head. His eyes darted towards the direction of the main building and could already see a crowd of people underneath it. Without another moment's hesitation, Kibum's legs were carrying him through the school garden. His ears were deaf to the girl's confused shouts behind him as his mind was solely on Geng.
He rushed past the outskirts of the crowd and jumped through the open window to the science classroom. Kibum could hear the crowd discouraging Geng from jumping and some girls shrieking in fear. Pounding his way through the various of hallways and stairs, many teachers came out of their classrooms obliviously shouting at him to slow down. He pushed on the door to the roof, but it wouldn't budge. “Geng! Open this door immediately.” he pounded on the metal, thinking how ironic the situation had become.
“Kibum-ge told me that you like me better if I jump off high building.” Geng's voice was as quiet and calm as before, “I jump today so that Kibum will accept me as his brother.”
“I was just joking around when I said that to you.” Kibum pounded his fist into the door at his own stupidity, “Please Geng, you'll die if you jump off of this building.”
“I can tell it was no joke. Your face was serious.”
“Geng, please don't do this. Open the door and we'll talk about this, alright?” tears were running down Kibum's face, “Please, open this door.”
Silence settled between them as the wind blew through the cracks, “Goodbye Kibum-gege, I hope you have happy and prosperous life when I gone. Please tell your mother and father that.”
“GENG!” Kibum shouted over the screams of the crowd below.