098. Soothing
[098] Soothing, Siwon/Zhou Mi (1/100)
Title: Rebellion
Length: 1282 words
Author: wobaozhewo
Rating: G
Genre: Drama/Angst/Cheese!
Summary: To gain a father’s understanding is never easy.
The phone rang.
Shi Yuan picked it up, expecting it was her calling to say she missed him-expecting to get the chance to say he missed her.
“Hello?”
A male voice?
“... Yes, this is he…”
It took only a moment to register the heart-shattering message.
“No…”
… She’s not coming back.
It took only a moment to register the startling request.
“No,” he answered, once he got his bearings back.
The silence between the pitter-patter of the rain was aggravating.
A thin man with sharp features stood near the door. He visibly quivered, lest regrettable words were said. “This is what I want to do! Please approve. If you see me as your son, let me do this.” Please.
“If you see me as your father, you wouldn’t put me through this.” Only a staunch silhouette could be seen against the moonlight shining through the bay window.
Zhou Mi gritted his words, unable to hold it in any longer, "You don’t see me as your son then. You’ve never loved me.” Why?
The figure standing by the window stiffened further.
“You’re coming back soon, right?”
She tickled the toddler in the crib as she replied, “Of course! Trust me! Just promise to take care of MiMi while I’m gone. He needs to be a happy baby the entire time-well, maybe a little sad that I’m not there! But promise!” She held up her pinky.
“Ya, you want me to pinky swear? Is this even in fashion anymore?” But he smiled and did it anyways.
“Don’t forget to seal the deal!” she exclaimed when he tried to let go too quickly, and they pressed their thumbs together.
Lightning flashed in the distance and the crack of thunder followed soon after. His eyes could only stare in the direction of where the light disappeared, not wanting to face his son's anger disguised as hatred… so he hoped. "You’re my only son. Of course I love you."
"No. You don’t. Why else would you reject the one dream I never thought I'd have... I want to be a singer, Ba. Please let me."
“My dream… is to become Asia’s biggest star.” She smiled in that far-off way that one usually looked when speaking about dreams difficult to realize, and with little chance of coming true.
“Maybe you will,” he said, langorously.
“I will. Trust me! Shi Kuai Qian, don’t you have any faith in me!?” she teased.
As long as you stay by my side, I don’t care, he thought.
Zhou Mi wanted nothing more than a blessing. A single utterance would be enough. Just one word of approval. Anything that meant his father supported this decision. Shi Yuan continued staring at the rush of droplets beyond the glass pane. "No," he sounded. "No son of mine will do that kind of meaningless job."
"Meaningless?" A tremor in his voice threatened to betray his anxiety. "How is doing something I love meaningless…” Zhou Mi faltered, only his pride keeping his tears from shedding.
“Wasn’t mother a singer, too? A dancer, even! So… was what she did meaningless?" The only son of Shi Yuan trembled, fists balled tightly to reign in his anger.
Shi Yuan whipped his head around. "How did you--!?"
"She was the best. One of a kind," Zhou Mi interrupted. "Uncle Heechul says you fell in love with her because of her talents. So why? Why can't I do as she did!? I love singing, if not more than her, then just as much! Why can’t-!?”
"SHE DIED BECAUSE OF IT!" Shock didn’t register fast enough for him to even understand his father hastening towards him, not even to yelp at his arms being restrained. Shi Yuan grabbed his son by the arms so forcefully, it would leave a bruise for days. He had not meant to react so strongly… to say it out loud. The look on his face gave it away. He never wanted Zhou Mi to know, but it was too late to hide it now. He loosened his grip and turned to stare at the granite-tiled floors, immaculate from constant cleaning.
"And… she died loving it,” he couldn’t stop now, and his son had no choice but to listen, “She set out to do what she loved," a breath of hesitation hung stagnant in the air before he could choke out, "and she never came back."
“MiMi, it’s just the two of us now. Umma isn’t coming back,” he said, once the funeral was over.
The bright eyed child holding his hand only stared and motioned to be carried. He complied.
A drop of water fell onto the child’s face. No, it wasn’t water. When did all these tears come out? But it’s too late. “What am I supposed to do now…” he said, unable to stop his misery from flowing out.
Small hands gently wiped them away. “Ba… ba. Baba.”
That’s right. I promised her. Take care of MiMi… But… She’s gone. She’s never coming back.
Zhou Mi looked at his father, noticing for the first time the pained expressions… what he thought was a heartless demeanor… was actually just restrained melancholy from the loss of his most beloved-and another about to slip out of his grasp.
Shi Yuan had noticed before, vaguely, but it was blindingly clear now. Zhou Mi’s hair was hers, his eyes were hers…
"MiMi, you’re my only son. Her only son." A new emotion stirred in Zhou Mi as he heard the term of endearment from days long past. "I love her. And I love you. Never believe otherwise. I want what is best for you. Please… don’t go down her path."
This was unchartered terrain. His father collapsed before him, pleading; memories of the woman he loved haunted his relationship with his son. A broken man… His heart had been broken all along, and I never saw it. It was strange to think of him that way. Choi Shi Yuan was never weak. He never broke. He put on all the right faces for all the right people.
Except for me. “Ba, I’m not her.” Zhou Mi bent down and pulled him into the soothing embrace they’d both sought since she left. “Trust me.”
Those words again.
“I trusted her,” Shi Yuan whispered.
“But I am me. Umma died doing what she loved… but she also died loving us. Isn’t that the best way? Give me the chance.”
To be like his mother.
A drop of water fell onto Zhou Mi’s shoulder. No, it wasn’t water. When did all these tears come out? But it’s too late. “What am I supposed to do now…” he said, unable to stop his misery from flowing out.
Outside, the storm did not let up. The crack of thunder sounded, threatening to shatter the building. They slowly released each other, as Zhou Mi’s lips twitched into a forced smile and called, “Baba.”
Shi Yuan’s eyes instantly met Zhou Mi’s.
“Trust me.”
Reluctance tugged at every inch of his being. He won’t be safe. He won’t be near.
It was a moment before he uttered a painstaking, “No.”
Harsh quiet stifled the air. Shi Yuan couldn’t bring himself to continue the argument.
Zhou Mi stood up slowly, leaving his father on the ground-his movements deliberate.
“If that is what you want, then I will obey… Ba.”
There was no cynicism, no offhanded remark... No goodbye. He only walked out.
The tears flooded from Shi Yuan’s eyes, his beloved son’s back blurring from his vision. “You are definitely her son,” he mumbled, in a tone rougher than he meant.
Forgive me, Han Geng… but I guess we both broke our promises.
Title: Rebellion
Length: 1282 words
Author: wobaozhewo
Rating: G
Genre: Drama/Angst/Cheese!
Summary: To gain a father’s understanding is never easy.
The phone rang.
Shi Yuan picked it up, expecting it was her calling to say she missed him-expecting to get the chance to say he missed her.
“Hello?”
A male voice?
“... Yes, this is he…”
It took only a moment to register the heart-shattering message.
“No…”
… She’s not coming back.
It took only a moment to register the startling request.
“No,” he answered, once he got his bearings back.
The silence between the pitter-patter of the rain was aggravating.
A thin man with sharp features stood near the door. He visibly quivered, lest regrettable words were said. “This is what I want to do! Please approve. If you see me as your son, let me do this.” Please.
“If you see me as your father, you wouldn’t put me through this.” Only a staunch silhouette could be seen against the moonlight shining through the bay window.
Zhou Mi gritted his words, unable to hold it in any longer, "You don’t see me as your son then. You’ve never loved me.” Why?
The figure standing by the window stiffened further.
“You’re coming back soon, right?”
She tickled the toddler in the crib as she replied, “Of course! Trust me! Just promise to take care of MiMi while I’m gone. He needs to be a happy baby the entire time-well, maybe a little sad that I’m not there! But promise!” She held up her pinky.
“Ya, you want me to pinky swear? Is this even in fashion anymore?” But he smiled and did it anyways.
“Don’t forget to seal the deal!” she exclaimed when he tried to let go too quickly, and they pressed their thumbs together.
Lightning flashed in the distance and the crack of thunder followed soon after. His eyes could only stare in the direction of where the light disappeared, not wanting to face his son's anger disguised as hatred… so he hoped. "You’re my only son. Of course I love you."
"No. You don’t. Why else would you reject the one dream I never thought I'd have... I want to be a singer, Ba. Please let me."
“My dream… is to become Asia’s biggest star.” She smiled in that far-off way that one usually looked when speaking about dreams difficult to realize, and with little chance of coming true.
“Maybe you will,” he said, langorously.
“I will. Trust me! Shi Kuai Qian, don’t you have any faith in me!?” she teased.
As long as you stay by my side, I don’t care, he thought.
Zhou Mi wanted nothing more than a blessing. A single utterance would be enough. Just one word of approval. Anything that meant his father supported this decision. Shi Yuan continued staring at the rush of droplets beyond the glass pane. "No," he sounded. "No son of mine will do that kind of meaningless job."
"Meaningless?" A tremor in his voice threatened to betray his anxiety. "How is doing something I love meaningless…” Zhou Mi faltered, only his pride keeping his tears from shedding.
“Wasn’t mother a singer, too? A dancer, even! So… was what she did meaningless?" The only son of Shi Yuan trembled, fists balled tightly to reign in his anger.
Shi Yuan whipped his head around. "How did you--!?"
"She was the best. One of a kind," Zhou Mi interrupted. "Uncle Heechul says you fell in love with her because of her talents. So why? Why can't I do as she did!? I love singing, if not more than her, then just as much! Why can’t-!?”
"SHE DIED BECAUSE OF IT!" Shock didn’t register fast enough for him to even understand his father hastening towards him, not even to yelp at his arms being restrained. Shi Yuan grabbed his son by the arms so forcefully, it would leave a bruise for days. He had not meant to react so strongly… to say it out loud. The look on his face gave it away. He never wanted Zhou Mi to know, but it was too late to hide it now. He loosened his grip and turned to stare at the granite-tiled floors, immaculate from constant cleaning.
"And… she died loving it,” he couldn’t stop now, and his son had no choice but to listen, “She set out to do what she loved," a breath of hesitation hung stagnant in the air before he could choke out, "and she never came back."
“MiMi, it’s just the two of us now. Umma isn’t coming back,” he said, once the funeral was over.
The bright eyed child holding his hand only stared and motioned to be carried. He complied.
A drop of water fell onto the child’s face. No, it wasn’t water. When did all these tears come out? But it’s too late. “What am I supposed to do now…” he said, unable to stop his misery from flowing out.
Small hands gently wiped them away. “Ba… ba. Baba.”
That’s right. I promised her. Take care of MiMi… But… She’s gone. She’s never coming back.
Zhou Mi looked at his father, noticing for the first time the pained expressions… what he thought was a heartless demeanor… was actually just restrained melancholy from the loss of his most beloved-and another about to slip out of his grasp.
Shi Yuan had noticed before, vaguely, but it was blindingly clear now. Zhou Mi’s hair was hers, his eyes were hers…
"MiMi, you’re my only son. Her only son." A new emotion stirred in Zhou Mi as he heard the term of endearment from days long past. "I love her. And I love you. Never believe otherwise. I want what is best for you. Please… don’t go down her path."
This was unchartered terrain. His father collapsed before him, pleading; memories of the woman he loved haunted his relationship with his son. A broken man… His heart had been broken all along, and I never saw it. It was strange to think of him that way. Choi Shi Yuan was never weak. He never broke. He put on all the right faces for all the right people.
Except for me. “Ba, I’m not her.” Zhou Mi bent down and pulled him into the soothing embrace they’d both sought since she left. “Trust me.”
Those words again.
“I trusted her,” Shi Yuan whispered.
“But I am me. Umma died doing what she loved… but she also died loving us. Isn’t that the best way? Give me the chance.”
To be like his mother.
A drop of water fell onto Zhou Mi’s shoulder. No, it wasn’t water. When did all these tears come out? But it’s too late. “What am I supposed to do now…” he said, unable to stop his misery from flowing out.
Outside, the storm did not let up. The crack of thunder sounded, threatening to shatter the building. They slowly released each other, as Zhou Mi’s lips twitched into a forced smile and called, “Baba.”
Shi Yuan’s eyes instantly met Zhou Mi’s.
“Trust me.”
Reluctance tugged at every inch of his being. He won’t be safe. He won’t be near.
It was a moment before he uttered a painstaking, “No.”
Harsh quiet stifled the air. Shi Yuan couldn’t bring himself to continue the argument.
Zhou Mi stood up slowly, leaving his father on the ground-his movements deliberate.
“If that is what you want, then I will obey… Ba.”
There was no cynicism, no offhanded remark... No goodbye. He only walked out.
The tears flooded from Shi Yuan’s eyes, his beloved son’s back blurring from his vision. “You are definitely her son,” he mumbled, in a tone rougher than he meant.
Forgive me, Han Geng… but I guess we both broke our promises.