Healing
I'm extremely glad that it isn't one month ago today. Mom died on the 24th, but today is when we took her to hospice.
I went to the hospital early in the morning, and she was alert, but confused. Then, they gave her the morphine for travel, and she never really came back out from it.
The Hospice was as nice as they could make it. I met with her doctor who was very kind and who after examining her told me it wouldn't be more than a few days.
I went home in the late afternoon to get some rest. Aunt was going to come for the evening. I called Aunt before she went to warn her that Mom looked a lot worse. Around 7, Aunt called me and said the nurse thought that she would go at any time.
So, I went back and spent the night. The person next door to us had a ton of loud relatives who annoyed the crap out of Aunt and I. Mom was pretty much unconscious. They left between 10:30 and 11. The night nurse came on and apologized to us, saying that the evening nurse was too sweet to keep people quiet. The night nurse didn't have that problem :)
As she proved when one of the remaining noisy relatives woke us up around 3 with her coughing...she left the room where she was staying and walked down to our end of the hall to cough so she wouldn't disturb the others in her room. The NN pointed out that she'd disturbed us.
Aunt had a severe headache, and Mom seemed stable, so Aunt went home, planning to come back around 8. I read for awhile, went to the all night cafeteria for something to drink, came back, checked on Mom and stretched back out on the chaise. After about 15-20 minutes, I decided I wasn't going back to sleep, so I got up and checked on her again.
She was gone.
I called Aunt and mr.mir, and they came and took me home.
I'm all right. As I've said, I'm much better than I thought I would be. I think I'm beginning, finally, to process what has happened, that she has left. As has Gran, poor thing, who I never really did think about that much after she died because we were all so frantic.
We're supposed to go to Vegas next month, and thinking about it, Aunt will be the one I call to check in with, to let her know how we do, if there are any wins. I won't tell Mom what's new in the Margaritaville store or about the over-priced diamonds at Gioia. I'm not sure if I'll wear Gran's bingo card necklace (she gave it to me when she stopped being well enough to play, and it's 14-carat gold). I always wore it, but then if I won at bingo, I would tell her that her necklace worked. I'll have to see.
But today will be like another day. Groceries, catch up on some work, go shopping for something to store all that craft stuff :), but I'll remember in the back of my mind, and try to continue moving forward.
And just to make it that much more clear, it's Gem Day on QVC. Mom watched Gem Day, and we'd talk about the stuff that was on.
I went to the hospital early in the morning, and she was alert, but confused. Then, they gave her the morphine for travel, and she never really came back out from it.
The Hospice was as nice as they could make it. I met with her doctor who was very kind and who after examining her told me it wouldn't be more than a few days.
I went home in the late afternoon to get some rest. Aunt was going to come for the evening. I called Aunt before she went to warn her that Mom looked a lot worse. Around 7, Aunt called me and said the nurse thought that she would go at any time.
So, I went back and spent the night. The person next door to us had a ton of loud relatives who annoyed the crap out of Aunt and I. Mom was pretty much unconscious. They left between 10:30 and 11. The night nurse came on and apologized to us, saying that the evening nurse was too sweet to keep people quiet. The night nurse didn't have that problem :)
As she proved when one of the remaining noisy relatives woke us up around 3 with her coughing...she left the room where she was staying and walked down to our end of the hall to cough so she wouldn't disturb the others in her room. The NN pointed out that she'd disturbed us.
Aunt had a severe headache, and Mom seemed stable, so Aunt went home, planning to come back around 8. I read for awhile, went to the all night cafeteria for something to drink, came back, checked on Mom and stretched back out on the chaise. After about 15-20 minutes, I decided I wasn't going back to sleep, so I got up and checked on her again.
She was gone.
I called Aunt and mr.mir, and they came and took me home.
I'm all right. As I've said, I'm much better than I thought I would be. I think I'm beginning, finally, to process what has happened, that she has left. As has Gran, poor thing, who I never really did think about that much after she died because we were all so frantic.
We're supposed to go to Vegas next month, and thinking about it, Aunt will be the one I call to check in with, to let her know how we do, if there are any wins. I won't tell Mom what's new in the Margaritaville store or about the over-priced diamonds at Gioia. I'm not sure if I'll wear Gran's bingo card necklace (she gave it to me when she stopped being well enough to play, and it's 14-carat gold). I always wore it, but then if I won at bingo, I would tell her that her necklace worked. I'll have to see.
But today will be like another day. Groceries, catch up on some work, go shopping for something to store all that craft stuff :), but I'll remember in the back of my mind, and try to continue moving forward.
And just to make it that much more clear, it's Gem Day on QVC. Mom watched Gem Day, and we'd talk about the stuff that was on.