Money, Life, Bloody Business, Saris, India..
Money money money must be funny..
Social services deemed me in need of monies, hooray!
Of course, it feels somewhat disconcerning to have to rely on them, feeling worthless for not having a full income job and not managing on my own.. If only the job situation got better. But I guess one should be happy one isn't living on Iceland, where iirc, unemployment increased by 600% in six months, and many predict there will be loads of Icelandic people moving to other countries.
However, I've done an intro thing at the local home-help service place, and I've been called in to work as a substitute auxiliary nurse once so far, when one of the regular staff people has been sick. And it seems I will get to work there during the summer. I'm not sure what my actual base pay is though, but working on weekends apparently is +40 sek/hour on that pay. When I googled for pay for those in that profession, that were temps, 78 sek/hour for a summer job seemed to be the lowest so far, and around 90 ish sek/hour for those that worked full/part time.
I wonder what I'll be doing this fall, I need to make at least 1000 sek a month to cover internet and electricity stuff, and then there's the food. And, the national study boards wants their money back, oh yay. Meaning about 1000-3000 sek per month in addition to that. It all depends on if I'll manage to pay back money this year, no idea what my actual and whole income for 2009 will be at this rate. < / default pessimism >
I've been mailing in a couple of applications for personal assistant jobs as well. I guess my limited and actual work history might discourage potential employers though, but we all have to start somewhere, even if it often feels like a woooondrous catch 22 situation. From job descriptions and reqs, it also sounds like the ideal personal assistant is a body builder who happened to decide to be a nurse instead...
Life
And yes, still catching up on various stuff, argh.. it's still at a somewhat manageable yet frustrating point, but there are times when I just want to go and hibernate for week if not years in some time-pocket somewhere, whilst time barely moves a few seconds in the real world. As already stated, I feel very much like a failure on occasion, I have no real job outcomes, no real goals nowadays really, which I guess should make me question profession vs life goals and identity more. Uncertainty about money is an annoying thing. But obsessions, past and new helps me afloat moodwise, providing an outlet for practical and creative stuff. Oh yeah, note to OCD self, write list of past obsessions for own amusement and psychological psycho-babble galore afterwards when I am old and grey and need stuff to think about to get a good laugh and all. And buying shares in cyborg stuff also seems like a good idea.. woes for crumbling mortal bodies.
Working at a home-help center also brings certain ponderations to ones mind and attention.. like how one'll end up oneself when one reaches that point when one can't quite do everything one'd want to at home 'cause one is so old/physically/mentally disabled somehow. Some things in life start feeling so trivial, so what the heck is the point-y. Some ponderations are.. well, less than cheery about aging overall. I can see how those that get more than one child might reason in that aspect, it's in a way retirement safety blanket, a way to biologically cement ones legacy in the world, not so say that parenthood automatically equals ones kids taking care of one as one grows grey and old but you get my drift I hope.. There's also the thing with working in the home-help service, treating caretakers with respect but equal amounts of professionalism, as one is after but a helping visitor in their homes. I feel I may have overdone my cheery attitude when encountering caretakers, but it beats looking like a scared bunny at least.
ADSL
Been pondering if it'd be worth it to switch to mobile broadband ish, instead of the landline ADSL I have atm. As I have to pay 375 sek each third month for a usual telephone landline, one that I do not use at all! I just got it since I otherwise wouldn't be able to get ADSL via the same company. If my calculations are correct, I pay almost 500 sek per month for up to 24 Mbit internet (yes, note the "up to" bit.. but they were the only ISP that had that speed as an option for my area) and a landline that I do not use.
Seems the mobile broadband prices are likely to increase though, so I wonder what to do.. it'd be risky to cancel internet/telephone stuff if I get a lot of stuff to do via the net, but at the same time it'd save me a lot of money each year. Mum'd not be very happy though, I reckon, if I was to use her puter/internet to surf (a lot) :P
The one downside with having mobile broadband, would be playing the few online games that I do play on occasion like Guild Wars, they'd have quite a high ping no doubt. And that uploading big photo files could take some time..
There's many a slip twixt cup and...
Also, in attempt to steer up finances, I'm following jinxle's recommendation in a previous post of hers where she wrote about the fantasticness of her MoonCup. I've ordered a MoonCup from m-kopp.se, and so far so good, I must say!
Some menstrual cup history can be found here, for the curious. It still amuses me commercials for tampons/pads etc cannot show the colour red for the blood they demonstrate the product collects. And should one want to read more about menstrual cups to try and decide for one, this was a good post from someone who wanted tips and advice on pages to eye before deciding.. and thusly got some linkage. And menstrual_cups itself is real nice place overall for info and discussion and more!
Oh, and if you are curious about literally bloody art and paintings: spiralingmoon, aaand there is also blood_art
And, teehee, look at these MoonCup pouches! The ladybug design was real cute. There are also ones like the knitted Cthulhu/Squid Diva Cup Cosy and another Cthulhu menstrual cup holder.. ;)
And there was a good photo and writeup as well, about Ethical consumption and the psychology of menstrual products.
I'm thinking of starting to try some Pilates exercises as well, as given what this site says about "tone of vaginal and pelvic floor muscles naturally reduces with age but to varying degrees in different women", it feels like a good idea if it'll help maintain that tone. Any Pilates practitioners out there btw?
Monsters In Da Hood!
I thought of purplethings when I saw this on Etsy: Polka Dot Robot's Monster Hoodie :D
Sari Ogling
I just loved the embroided pattern on this sari. And gosh, stripey saris can be so pretty too. I think I'll never look very pretty in a sari with those drapings due to my silly build, but I can at least ogle piccies!
And ogling saris and reading up on Indian culture really makes one ponder women's status in general. As they do wear their [family's] fortune on themselves. Yet that kind of status thing is not too different from any culture. The creation of high and low culture, amazing how humankind can get busy, isn't it? Still, it's the kind of creative obsession that gives a whole lot more than being focused on more destructive forces.
And am I salivating over handloom saris or what! They are made entirely by hand, and thus have a certain cloth patina to them. They are also perhaps best suited for the Kachha style, ie draping the sari as a set of pants. I think a sturdy handloom cotton sari or three, so I have fabric to make a tunic or topic and/or still wrap a sari around that. Saris from Balarampuram for instance, are due to climate and cotton weave quality very soft and durable. Although I'd want a dark blue/black sari preferably, and those colour combinations might not be so common for saris from there.
I've come to the conclusion that Western culture have influenced my thinking when it comes to colour combinations. Then there's my personal preference for blue and silver. I just find it very odd to see saris with colour combos that have a cold colour plus golden embroidment or beadwork on them, although it can indeed be a nice "odd". A blue sari to me feels best matched with a silver zari weave and not a gold one. As fancier saris can have patterns that are woven with gold or silver thread that are called zari work.
India - Progress and Regress
I started watching a documentary series about "India, a land of change" on SVT's online tv thing svtplay.se - First ep out of four can be found here. Be aware they are only available online 'til March 14th. I suspect those living outside of Sweden won't be able to watch it however.
While India has the second highest growth rate in the world, second only to China, there are still those that cannot enjoy the economical benefits such a growth brings.. because they are either caught in roles appointed to them by the caste system or they simply are too poor and without political power and influence. The rift between Hindus and Muslims is a scary one as well.
A few years back, a train carrying Hindu pilgrims caught fire after an alleged attack by Muslims. 58 people died. Causing a thirst for revenge and Hindu mobs killing over 2000 Muslims and leave more than 200 000 homeless. A man was shown to in front of a hidden camera brag about how they burnt down shops owned by Muslims and that they killed the shop owners, how they went inside Muslim homes and shot at the gas containers there, how he enjoyed doing so, how he expressed views like Muslims should not be allowed to procreate etc.. Argh, it makes me sick to my stomach to hear someone boast about killing innocent people like that, only because they happened to belong to the same religion that people allegedly belonged to that caused that train accident. If there even was any human that did cause it. And it does make me think of the awful atrocities committed during the Holocaust. Such intense and blind hatred, only leads to more hatred.. and far far away from the goals Gandhi fought for >_<
Well, onto less dreary stuff..
Now, should you want some inspiration for how to set up your home office..
this is the stuff. And anyone thinking of crocheting a Tetris blanket, go here.
*grins some at Stickers as well*