Beat Against Me
Title: Beat Against Me
Pairing: Onesided! Changmin/Jaejoong, Hint of Yunho/Jaejoong
Genre: Tragedy/Drama
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Character deaths, suicide, blood/gore, hint of rape
Summary: Love makes people happy, sad, and angry. Love also causes feelings to change dangerously into jealousy. One man had all these feelings wrapped up inside him. But in the end, he could not handle what Love gave him.
-x-
A/N: I'm having a hard time writing the end to Chapter 11 of "The Color Of Confusion" and because I needed something to help me to be more motivated for the scenes planned in Chapter 14. So, I decided to finish this one-shot I started back in August.
-x-
He was just a normal guy who had an office job like most of the men around him. He was proper and had good manners, something that his family and relatives prided themselves on. He was also blessed with a natural innocent look that made every female gender fawn over him in adoration. No one would ever think that any man who had all of these good traits, could ever be suspected of committing a scary crime like he was doing right now. Would anyone ever think that Shim Changmin who had everything that a woman would want in a husband and more, have the guts to stalk someone? But here he was, in the shadows of the night, in a neighborhood that he barely knew, hiding and watching someone.
Changmin had been following a guy in particular for many months now. It was to the point where he knew that at exactly 9pm every night, his target would be walking up the road towards a nearby apartment complex in a black baseball cap, jacket and faded jeans whilst carrying bags of groceries in each hand.
He had watched the object of his desire for a long time now, and yet he still did not know the man's name. All he had learned for the past few months was an address and an apartment number. But it was enough for now. Ever since from day one, he would stop by the boutique on the way to visit the said man, to pick out a beautiful bouquet of flowers to leave as a gift of his feelings. But whenever he would come to visit the next day after each delivery, he would see his bouquet tossed out with the petals still as vibrant as the day he bought them. He felt it was unfair that the man didn't understand his love for him. It was perfectly reasonable to give the one you love gifts, especially flowers.
Instead of being angry like a normal human might be, Changmin pushed the thought away and decided to go ahead and do what he usually did and hopefully somewhere down along the line, the man would give up and accept him.
From the parking lot of the villa, Changmin stared up at the building and watched with a smile as a particular window on the 11th floor lit up. He smiled, the man was safe at home and he was still his to love.
-x-
In the early hours of the next morning, gray clouds covered the sky over Seoul. But it didn't dampen his plans from going to the boutique on his way to the villa on the outskirts of town.
When he finally acquired the flowers, he set the bouquet of Lilies next to him in the passenger's seat. The villa had become like a second home to him. He had been visiting the area long enough to know the streets and the people living in the vicinity.
His usual route was taking the elevator up to the 11th floor and then placing his bouquet of lilies outside the fifth door on the left. But today, he was able to get to the left corner on the 11th floor before having to back-peddle and hide.
Changmin watched as the 5th door opened and a man exited. The man was tall, tanned and from the looks and smile, he guessed that the man would have the same amount of popularity among women as he did. But there was one thing he knew. It was that his prey and the mysterious man had something going on and he would be the one that was going to set the line between them. His prey, his crush, was solely his and no one else's.
"Bye, Jae. Remember what I told you, if you see another one of those bouquets, just call the police. You shouldn't have to be afraid of coming home everyday. Don't worry, once we get married, I promise you that we'll move far away from here and start a new life someplace else. You'll never have to deal with this again."
Changmin watched with narrowed eyes. What right did the man have to claim his crush? Surely his crush would never marry a man like that.
"Okay, Yunho. Thanks for staying the night with me."
Yunho pressed a kiss to Jaejoong's forehead before saying his goodbyes. Changmin hid as the man called Yunho walked past where he hid and stepped into the elevator.
His blood boiled in anger. How could his prey want him behind bars? Didn't he like the gifts? He only showered the man with love. Any woman would've liked it. Why not his crush?
Blinded by rage and rejection, Changmin stormed over to the Apt.1105 and jiggled the doorknob. It was unlocked. He opened the door harshly.
"Yunho? Did you forget someth--"
Changmin watched in amusement at the sheer horror on the other man's face. He didn't even flinch when the porcelain bowl in the man's hands, crashed onto the tiled floor.
"Yunho?" Changmin cocked his head to the side, a crazy smile on his lips,
"No. I'm Shim Changmin."
"H-How?!" Jaejoong stumbled back further into his apartment. Changmin took a step forward,
"You know . . ." he deposited the bouquet of lilies on a nearby coffee table and continued to back up his prey,
" . . . You should learn to lock the door. You'll never know who . . ."
Jaejoong bumped into the dining table, body tense and eyes reflecting just how scared and afraid he was. Changmin smirked at the image of his prey, his crush,
" . . . will walk through your door."
Jaejoong tried to reach for his phone, but Changmin noticed it a second faster and swiped the device away, hearing it clatter on the floor. He watched as his prey turned to run into the closest available room. But because Jaejoong had shorter legs than him, he was able to catch up with his prey within a few strides and pushed at the man's back. Jaejoong stumbled into the room at the harsh push. He turned around when he heard the door closed and the lock put in place.
Changmin loomed at the closed doorway, "You don't know how many times I've dreamt of this moment with just us alone."
Jaejoong shivered in fear on the floor and scrambled back when he noticed the man walking toward him,
"Don't come any closer!" Jaejoong screamed. Changmin, unfazed by the words, continued to walk,
"How can I hold you, kiss you, make love to you, if I don't?"
Jaejoong trembled in disgust at the words. Changmin moved near, excited that his crush was now within his grasp. For many months, he could only watch the man from afar. But now, the man was in front of him.
"I promise I'll take care of you."
Jaejoong kicked at the hand that was inching towards his legs. Changmin drew back, the happiness on his face turned into a frown,
"That's not nice, my love. Shouldn't you treat someone like how they should treat you?"
Jaejoong sneered and kicked at him again when Changmin tried once again to grab a hold of his legs.
"I love you. Why can't you see it? I've loved you all along. I've only had eyes for you," Changmin said, successfully distracting the other male with his words and grabbed a hold of the legs.
"A-Are you going to kill me?"
Changmin chuckled at the question, "Kill? Why should I kill you when all I wanted to do was love you and have you for myself?"
"You'll never make me love you. I'll only love one person and that person isn't you!" Jaejoong screamed. Changmin backhanded the man,
"You won't even remember that man once I'm through with you."
-x-
Changmin drank in all of the tears. He drank in all of the screams. His prey, his crush, was finally his to love, to kiss, to hold.
"I love you. So much. Why couldn't you look at me with that same passion you do him? Why am I different?!" Changmin growled, giving one last thrust before spilling into the spent body. He pulled out, watching blood and cum dribble onto a growing puddle on the floor.
He leaned down at the body and brushed his hand against the flushed cheek, seeing the man flinch slightly.
Changmin caught sight of the light outside and realized that it was already afternoon,
"That fast, huh?"
"P-Please, don't kill me."
Changmin looked down at the man laying in his own blood and cum. He thread his hand into the man's raven locks and gripped a handful of hair, drawing the man's face toward his,
"Do you still not understand my words? I told you, I'm not here to kill you. I'm here to show you just how much I love you."
"Do you rape the ones you love?"
"Rape?" Changmin laughed and let go of the man's hair, "You really are a funny one, Jaejoong."
Jaejoong groaned in pain when his head smacked against the floor. He looked up at Changmin and his fear of the man doubled when he found a knife in the man's hand. Changmin smiled,
"Don't worry. It won't hurt a bit at all. Just know that I'm not killing you. I'm just having you for myself."
Jaejoong blanked out in pain when the knife plunged into his chest. Changmin watched in amazement when the blood gushed onto his hands. It was warm and the color was a beautiful crimson.
He tightened his grip on the handle and dragged the knife until he was able to cut a hole where the man's heart would be. Using his bare hands, Changmin pulled at the flesh, cutting when needed and after a few minutes of cutting and pulling, he was finally able to remove the block of flesh that was obstructing his way from obtaining the prize he came to take.
He peered at the beating heart, which continued to pump slowly with the decline of the body's strength to hold on. Changmin cut at the veins holding the heart secured and grabbed at the beating organ. He sighed in pleasure when he placed the beating heart against his cheek. It was his crush's heart. He had finally gotten it. No one would ever have it now.
"Yunho can't have your heart. It only belongs to me now. Because I loved you first. I saw you first. Now, you belong to me."
Changmin kept the warm organ against his cheek as he left the corpse on the ground and walked out of the room. But as he walked through the apartment to the front door, the heart in his hands gave its last pump before it stilled into a dead lump of flesh. He squeezed the heart, but no movement came. Changmin cursed under his breath and threw the shriveled organ onto the ground. He turned to look back at the room where the most beautiful man lay and raised the same knife he used to cut out the man's heart. He placed the tip of the bloodied knife right above where his heart would be,
"Jaejoong-ah . . . I'm coming. I'm coming for you."
-x-
A/N: I wrote an aftermath of this with Yunho finding out, but it didn't match with the rest of the story in terms of a dark feel, so I left it out.
Pairing: Onesided! Changmin/Jaejoong, Hint of Yunho/Jaejoong
Genre: Tragedy/Drama
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Character deaths, suicide, blood/gore, hint of rape
Summary: Love makes people happy, sad, and angry. Love also causes feelings to change dangerously into jealousy. One man had all these feelings wrapped up inside him. But in the end, he could not handle what Love gave him.
-x-
A/N: I'm having a hard time writing the end to Chapter 11 of "The Color Of Confusion" and because I needed something to help me to be more motivated for the scenes planned in Chapter 14. So, I decided to finish this one-shot I started back in August.
-x-
He was just a normal guy who had an office job like most of the men around him. He was proper and had good manners, something that his family and relatives prided themselves on. He was also blessed with a natural innocent look that made every female gender fawn over him in adoration. No one would ever think that any man who had all of these good traits, could ever be suspected of committing a scary crime like he was doing right now. Would anyone ever think that Shim Changmin who had everything that a woman would want in a husband and more, have the guts to stalk someone? But here he was, in the shadows of the night, in a neighborhood that he barely knew, hiding and watching someone.
Changmin had been following a guy in particular for many months now. It was to the point where he knew that at exactly 9pm every night, his target would be walking up the road towards a nearby apartment complex in a black baseball cap, jacket and faded jeans whilst carrying bags of groceries in each hand.
He had watched the object of his desire for a long time now, and yet he still did not know the man's name. All he had learned for the past few months was an address and an apartment number. But it was enough for now. Ever since from day one, he would stop by the boutique on the way to visit the said man, to pick out a beautiful bouquet of flowers to leave as a gift of his feelings. But whenever he would come to visit the next day after each delivery, he would see his bouquet tossed out with the petals still as vibrant as the day he bought them. He felt it was unfair that the man didn't understand his love for him. It was perfectly reasonable to give the one you love gifts, especially flowers.
Instead of being angry like a normal human might be, Changmin pushed the thought away and decided to go ahead and do what he usually did and hopefully somewhere down along the line, the man would give up and accept him.
From the parking lot of the villa, Changmin stared up at the building and watched with a smile as a particular window on the 11th floor lit up. He smiled, the man was safe at home and he was still his to love.
-x-
In the early hours of the next morning, gray clouds covered the sky over Seoul. But it didn't dampen his plans from going to the boutique on his way to the villa on the outskirts of town.
When he finally acquired the flowers, he set the bouquet of Lilies next to him in the passenger's seat. The villa had become like a second home to him. He had been visiting the area long enough to know the streets and the people living in the vicinity.
His usual route was taking the elevator up to the 11th floor and then placing his bouquet of lilies outside the fifth door on the left. But today, he was able to get to the left corner on the 11th floor before having to back-peddle and hide.
Changmin watched as the 5th door opened and a man exited. The man was tall, tanned and from the looks and smile, he guessed that the man would have the same amount of popularity among women as he did. But there was one thing he knew. It was that his prey and the mysterious man had something going on and he would be the one that was going to set the line between them. His prey, his crush, was solely his and no one else's.
"Bye, Jae. Remember what I told you, if you see another one of those bouquets, just call the police. You shouldn't have to be afraid of coming home everyday. Don't worry, once we get married, I promise you that we'll move far away from here and start a new life someplace else. You'll never have to deal with this again."
Changmin watched with narrowed eyes. What right did the man have to claim his crush? Surely his crush would never marry a man like that.
"Okay, Yunho. Thanks for staying the night with me."
Yunho pressed a kiss to Jaejoong's forehead before saying his goodbyes. Changmin hid as the man called Yunho walked past where he hid and stepped into the elevator.
His blood boiled in anger. How could his prey want him behind bars? Didn't he like the gifts? He only showered the man with love. Any woman would've liked it. Why not his crush?
Blinded by rage and rejection, Changmin stormed over to the Apt.1105 and jiggled the doorknob. It was unlocked. He opened the door harshly.
"Yunho? Did you forget someth--"
Changmin watched in amusement at the sheer horror on the other man's face. He didn't even flinch when the porcelain bowl in the man's hands, crashed onto the tiled floor.
"Yunho?" Changmin cocked his head to the side, a crazy smile on his lips,
"No. I'm Shim Changmin."
"H-How?!" Jaejoong stumbled back further into his apartment. Changmin took a step forward,
"You know . . ." he deposited the bouquet of lilies on a nearby coffee table and continued to back up his prey,
" . . . You should learn to lock the door. You'll never know who . . ."
Jaejoong bumped into the dining table, body tense and eyes reflecting just how scared and afraid he was. Changmin smirked at the image of his prey, his crush,
" . . . will walk through your door."
Jaejoong tried to reach for his phone, but Changmin noticed it a second faster and swiped the device away, hearing it clatter on the floor. He watched as his prey turned to run into the closest available room. But because Jaejoong had shorter legs than him, he was able to catch up with his prey within a few strides and pushed at the man's back. Jaejoong stumbled into the room at the harsh push. He turned around when he heard the door closed and the lock put in place.
Changmin loomed at the closed doorway, "You don't know how many times I've dreamt of this moment with just us alone."
Jaejoong shivered in fear on the floor and scrambled back when he noticed the man walking toward him,
"Don't come any closer!" Jaejoong screamed. Changmin, unfazed by the words, continued to walk,
"How can I hold you, kiss you, make love to you, if I don't?"
Jaejoong trembled in disgust at the words. Changmin moved near, excited that his crush was now within his grasp. For many months, he could only watch the man from afar. But now, the man was in front of him.
"I promise I'll take care of you."
Jaejoong kicked at the hand that was inching towards his legs. Changmin drew back, the happiness on his face turned into a frown,
"That's not nice, my love. Shouldn't you treat someone like how they should treat you?"
Jaejoong sneered and kicked at him again when Changmin tried once again to grab a hold of his legs.
"I love you. Why can't you see it? I've loved you all along. I've only had eyes for you," Changmin said, successfully distracting the other male with his words and grabbed a hold of the legs.
"A-Are you going to kill me?"
Changmin chuckled at the question, "Kill? Why should I kill you when all I wanted to do was love you and have you for myself?"
"You'll never make me love you. I'll only love one person and that person isn't you!" Jaejoong screamed. Changmin backhanded the man,
"You won't even remember that man once I'm through with you."
-x-
Changmin drank in all of the tears. He drank in all of the screams. His prey, his crush, was finally his to love, to kiss, to hold.
"I love you. So much. Why couldn't you look at me with that same passion you do him? Why am I different?!" Changmin growled, giving one last thrust before spilling into the spent body. He pulled out, watching blood and cum dribble onto a growing puddle on the floor.
He leaned down at the body and brushed his hand against the flushed cheek, seeing the man flinch slightly.
Changmin caught sight of the light outside and realized that it was already afternoon,
"That fast, huh?"
"P-Please, don't kill me."
Changmin looked down at the man laying in his own blood and cum. He thread his hand into the man's raven locks and gripped a handful of hair, drawing the man's face toward his,
"Do you still not understand my words? I told you, I'm not here to kill you. I'm here to show you just how much I love you."
"Do you rape the ones you love?"
"Rape?" Changmin laughed and let go of the man's hair, "You really are a funny one, Jaejoong."
Jaejoong groaned in pain when his head smacked against the floor. He looked up at Changmin and his fear of the man doubled when he found a knife in the man's hand. Changmin smiled,
"Don't worry. It won't hurt a bit at all. Just know that I'm not killing you. I'm just having you for myself."
Jaejoong blanked out in pain when the knife plunged into his chest. Changmin watched in amazement when the blood gushed onto his hands. It was warm and the color was a beautiful crimson.
He tightened his grip on the handle and dragged the knife until he was able to cut a hole where the man's heart would be. Using his bare hands, Changmin pulled at the flesh, cutting when needed and after a few minutes of cutting and pulling, he was finally able to remove the block of flesh that was obstructing his way from obtaining the prize he came to take.
He peered at the beating heart, which continued to pump slowly with the decline of the body's strength to hold on. Changmin cut at the veins holding the heart secured and grabbed at the beating organ. He sighed in pleasure when he placed the beating heart against his cheek. It was his crush's heart. He had finally gotten it. No one would ever have it now.
"Yunho can't have your heart. It only belongs to me now. Because I loved you first. I saw you first. Now, you belong to me."
Changmin kept the warm organ against his cheek as he left the corpse on the ground and walked out of the room. But as he walked through the apartment to the front door, the heart in his hands gave its last pump before it stilled into a dead lump of flesh. He squeezed the heart, but no movement came. Changmin cursed under his breath and threw the shriveled organ onto the ground. He turned to look back at the room where the most beautiful man lay and raised the same knife he used to cut out the man's heart. He placed the tip of the bloodied knife right above where his heart would be,
"Jaejoong-ah . . . I'm coming. I'm coming for you."
-x-
A/N: I wrote an aftermath of this with Yunho finding out, but it didn't match with the rest of the story in terms of a dark feel, so I left it out.