Dangerously Addictive [2/??]
Title: Dangerously Addictive
Pairing: Changmin/Jaejoong
Genre: Mystery/Drama/Tragedy/Angst
Rating: NC-17 (Beginning), PG-13 (Middle)
Warning: Character death(s) and Un-beta'd
Summary: Jaejoong needed security, understanding, and love. But the thrill of leading others into his web and seeing them succumb to their deaths, drives a different desire, one that's too late to turn back from.
-x-
C-Catch me if you wanna . . .
"Mmh . . . " the figure on the bed groaned. The ringing continued, but the person figured that the caller would give up. But when the ringing didn't stop, the person finally picked up the phone,
"Yah . . . Junsu . . . Do you even know what time it is? It's three in the morning and I had finally gotten myself to sleep no thanks to my insomnia."
"So this is Kim Junsu's phone?" the voice confirmed on the other line. Yoochun shot up in bed, alert at the unfamiliar voice,
"Who is this and why do you have this phone?"
"This is Detective Shim from the police precinct in Seoul. Kim Junsu was found dead at the Smoke Elixir earlier this evening. The result was that he died of cyanide poisoning," the voice said. Yoochun clasped a hand over his mouth, stunned at the sudden news.
"So, we wanted to know when and why he was at the club. Did he go there to meet someone?" the voice continued.
"No," Yoochun whispered. It wasn't as if Jaejoong knew who Junsu was. Afterall, it was just hours earlier that he had offered to --
And in that instance, Yoochun began to piece together the puzzle. The way his best friend was acting. The way Junsu didn't pick up his phone. Why didn't he realize it earlier?
"Did you remember something?" the voice broke his thoughts.
"No," Yoochun lied, "He always visited the Smoke Elixir from 8-10pm to release some stress. He doesn't even like alcohol so . . ." Yoochun rambled, not realizing that he had just given the other man the key information in solving the mystery.
"Oh? He doesn't?" the voice was surprised.
"Did I say something wrong?" Yoochun asked.
"No, not at all," the voice said.
"Is there anything else you need?" Yoochun wondered.
"No, that's it for now. If you think of anything else, maybe an enemy of Mr. Kim's, please don't hesitate to call me at (82) 2-392-1118," the voice replied.
"Sure . . . But can I take back his phone?" Yoochun asked. It was probably the only thing he ever had left that was personal to Junsu.
"And your relation to him is?" the voice asked. Yoochun swallowed. The relationship he had with Junsu was a secret one. Romantic relationships weren't tolerated in the work place. But this was different. This wasn't work related and the police would never disclose it to the public, would they?
"His . . . His boyfriend."
"Boyfriend? I'm sorry for your loss," the voice on the other line said with sympathy. Yoochun let out a choked sob as the man continued,
"You can pick up the cellphone at the police station. The address is 165 Migeun-dong, Seodaemun-gu."
"Okay," Yoochun shuddered, writing the address down quickly on the notepad he had on his bedside table and hung up. He flopped back down against his pillow. A few tears ran down the side of his face and he raised an arm over his eyes as more hot tears fell,
"Oh, god . . . Jaejoong . . ."
-x-
Jaejoong woke up the next day and took one look at his messy apartment and groaned. He remembered last night and every kill that he ever made, flashed through his mind. He never felt guilty with his past endeavors, but this time was different.
"I can't bear to see Yoochun. I have to avoid him. Just until this whole thing blows over," Jaejoong whispered and looked at his phone. He saw that he had gotten four missed calls and ten text messages from the other man. He hissed in frustration and turned off his phone. He needed to leave before Yoochun decided to come and check up on him.
He quickly pulled on his jacket and grabbed his wallet and keys. The bag with the white powder lay on the coffee table and with no hesitation, he pocketed the bag into his jacket. There was no way that he could get caught now.
-x-
Hours later when the sun was high in the sky, Changmin sat at his desk brooding over the folder of their latest victim.
If Kim Junsu didn't drink, then how did the alcohol get into his system? Was he forced?
Changmin looked up when he heard running footsteps approaching from the hallway. The door burst open and his partner came rushing in,
"Changmin!"
Changmin shot the older man a glare, "How many times do I have to remind you that you should knock before entering and there's a no running policy in the halls. People can get hurt."
"Nevermind that," Yunho dismissed and sucked in a breath, "Someone by the name of Park Yoochun came by the station earlier and requested for Mr. Kim's phone. He said that you gave him permission to take it."
Changmin nodded and folded his hands on the table, "I did."
"Why? Who is he?" Yunho sat down in the seat across the younger man.
"I talked with him last night. He's Kim Junsu's boyfriend," Changmin said. Yunho raised a brow,
"He has a boyfriend?"
"Yeah. He came over to get Mr. Kim's phone. I thought he deserved it considering he didn't know what happened. I felt bad."
Yunho smiled, "The tough, I'm-smarter-than-you, Detective Shim actually has a heart."
The younger man sneered, "Totally irrelevant. And I've already told you last night that he is -- "
"Gay, I know," Yunho interrupted and ignored the glare that the younger man gave him, "But while I was looking up Mr. Kim's background, I didn't find anything about him having a boyfriend."
Changmin sighed and leaned back in his seat, "That's because he hid his relationship with Mr. Park from the public. He didn't want it to interfere with his work."
Yunho nodded, "Makes sense, I guess."
"I searched Mr. Park's background and found that he works at the same modeling agency as Mr. Kim. I think that was another reason for Mr. Kim to hide his relationship. The agency would be in chaos if word of their relationship got out to the media," Changmin said, looking through his notes. Yunho sighed and looked up,
"Did you figure out the reason why Mr. Kim was at the Smoke Elixir last night?"
Changmin nodded, flipping the page in his notebook, "Yeah, he said that Mr. Kim went there for relaxation."
Changmin then smirked and Yunho frowned at the change of expression, "What?"
"I think that if Mr. Kim was still alive and you two met, you would become great friends," Changmin said.
"Me with a model? No way," Yunho chuckled.
"Mr. Kim loved dancing and so do you, if I recall. That's why Mr. Kim was there -- to dance."
"So he models and dances," Yunho was impressed.
"But that's not even the surprising thing, " Changmin continued. Yunho rolled his eyes,
"I'm already surprised. I doubt I can be more surprised than I already am."
"Kim Junsu doesn't drink. His boyfriend confirmed it last night," Changmin said and let the information sink in through his partner's head. Yunho sat forward, surprised,
"Wait, what?"
Changmin smirked at the predictable response, "Told you."
"But -- I don't understand."
Changmin sighed and stood up, "That's okay if you can't comprehend what I just said. But we have to go. I want to ask the bartenders at the club if they saw what happened."
Yunho pouted when he didn't get an explanation, but nodded and followed the younger man out of the room.
-x-
Jaejoong tipped the shot of alcohol into his mouth and went to pour another when the bartender stopped him,
"Whoa, slow down. Drinking this early?"
Jaejoong glared with half-lidded eyes, "Why? Is that a crime now?"
Then he laughed at his poor choice of words. The bartender looked at him in concern,
"No . . . Look, do you have a ride home?"
Jaejoong scoffed, "It's early in the morning like you've said. No one's going to attack me in broad daylight."
Then he leered at the man, "Unless you want to take me home?"
The man was speechless and Jaejoong let out a bark of laughter and slurred, "I'm just joking . . . Sheesh."
"Let me call someone for you," the man said and Jaejoong didn't protest when the man took his phone. He hoped that the man didn't call Yoochun.
-x-
Yoochun couldn't go to work after he had learned that his prized model and caring boyfriend had just been murdered. He didn't want to be bothered with his co-workers of the issue nor take a step into the building where their relationship began.
He had just left the police station with Junsu's phone in his hands. He didn't turn on the device just yet. He wasn't ready. He had to know the reason why first.
But that morning before heading to the police station, he tried calling Jaejoong and texting him, but it was left unanswered. He thought something must've happened for the other man to ignore him. So, that was why he was currently on his way to Jaejoong's apartment. However, halfway to the apartment, his phone rang. He was surprised by who called.
"Jaejoong?" Yoochun answered, but it wasn't his friend who answered him. He sighed in relief as he quietly listened to the man on the other line explain the situation to him.
"Okay, thank you. I'll be there soon," Yoochun hung up and drove over to the bar where he and Jaejoong loved to frequent and found the other man passed out with his head on the counter. He noticed the wallet on the counter next to the other's head and swallowed thickly. It was Junsu's wallet. He had given the wallet as a gift to congratulate the younger man for getting onto the cover page of a Vogue magazine. He reached over to take the wallet and flipped it open, gasping audibly when he found Junsu's ID card still tucked in the pocket. He placed the wallet back when the bartender came around the counter. He nodded to the bartender in greeting before shaking his best friend gently. He still couldn't believe that he found evidence that it was definitely Jaejoong who had killed his Junsu.
"Jaejoong . . . Jaejoong-ah . . . Wake up. Let's go, okay?"
"Chunnie?" Jaejoong groaned, smacking his lips. He wrinkled his nose when he tasted the stale aftertaste of alcohol and his mouth felt parched. He wanted water.
"It's me," Yoochun answered softly. Jaejoong realized that it was his best friend that was standing next to him and he weakly pushed the other man away,
"Why are you here? I don't want you."
Yoochun noticed the other's rasp voice and turned to the bartender, "I'm sorry, but could you get me a cup of water?"
The man nodded and left the counter. Yoochun turned back to his best friend who returned to his previous posture. He hauled the other man up by the elbow, but Jaejoong whined in protest. The man came back with a cup of water and Yoochun took it, pressing the lip of the cup against Jaejoong's mouth,
"Here, drink."
Jaejoong opened his eyes and grabbed the cup, greedily, chugging the cool beverage down his throat. Yoochun stood there waiting until Jaejoong slammed the empty glass cup onto the counter. Yoochun turned to the man,
"How much do I owe you?"
"20,000 won. Not counting the water," the man answered. Yoochun turned to his best friend who had laid his head back down on the counter and sighed at the scene. He pulled out the exact amount of cash and gave it to the man, then he pocketed his wallet.
"Jaejoong, get up. I don't know why you wouldn't want to see me -- " Yoochun said.
Even though I do know.
" -- But I'm here, so you can't take 'no' for an answer."
He successfully pulled the other man to his feet and pretended not to see Jaejoong putting Junsu's wallet away. They both made their way over to Yoochun's car. When Jaejoong was safely secured in the passenger's seat, Yoochun rushed over to the driver's seat. He could see the other man struggling with the belt, whining that it was too tight and suffocating.
"Stop that," Yoochun sighed. Jaejoong frowned and looked over at him,
"Where are you taking me?"
"Home," Yoochun said and looked over at his best friend when silence fell between them.
"So, why were you drinking so early in the morning? Didn't you have enough last night?"
At the mention of the previous night, Jaejoong turned his attention out of the window. Yoochun frowned, knowing exactly why the other man couldn't look him in the eye, and why he didn't want to talk to him.
Yoochun gripped the steering wheel tightly until his knuckles were white. He wanted to scream and hit something . . . someone. He wanted to blurt out the fact that he knew that it was Jaejoong, his best friend, who did it. But he kept his mouth closed instead.
He believed that Jaejoong could change, because he knew deep down that it was his fault that Junsu died. His fault that his best friend couldn't kick his long-time habit of killing just to gain control over his victims. He wished he could go back in time and stop everything.
"We're here," Jaejoong's slurred voice snapped Yoochun out of his musings. Yoochun drove into the parking lot, hoping to find a place to park, but Jaejoong stopped him,
"I don't want you to get out. Just pull up to the entrance."
Yoochun complied, albiet reluctantly and drove right up to the apartment complex entrance. Jaejoong got out and slammed the door. Yoochun watched as his friend entered the building, before pulling out of the parking lot and back onto the street. He stopped at a red light, opened his glove compartment, and pulled out a card. Inside the card, he had written a short message about how much he loved Junsu and congratulating them on their six-month anniversary that was coming up in a few days.
"And it took me ten tries to finally get the message right," Yoochun whispered, voice breaking. The corner of the card crinkled in his grip as he wiped away his unshed tears with his other hand. He let go of the brake pedal and pressed the gas pedal lightly when the light turned green.
He shouldn't feel angry at Jaejoong, but he couldn't help it.
-x-
Jaejoong returned to his apartment and lay gingerly on the sofa. His head was pounding and all he wanted was to go back to sleep. He tried to drown his guilt with alcohol and it worked to forget about what he had done to Junsu. But then his best friend showed up, his soulmate, the one he grew up with, the one he told all his secrets to, and all the guilt and frustration returned.
Jaejoong clenched his eyes. But now, he couldn't tell Yoochun any more of his secrets. He couldn't risk being around the other man and let his guilt well him up. He didn't want to see his soulmate get angry with him. He wouldn't be able to survive if there was no one left to lean on.
Jaejoong shuddered as he curled within himself on the sofa and whimpered.
I'm sorry, Chunnie. I'm sorry that our relationship will be filled with lies from now on.
Previous Chapter // Next Chapter
Pairing: Changmin/Jaejoong
Genre: Mystery/Drama/Tragedy/Angst
Rating: NC-17 (Beginning), PG-13 (Middle)
Warning: Character death(s) and Un-beta'd
Summary: Jaejoong needed security, understanding, and love. But the thrill of leading others into his web and seeing them succumb to their deaths, drives a different desire, one that's too late to turn back from.
-x-
C-Catch me if you wanna . . .
"Mmh . . . " the figure on the bed groaned. The ringing continued, but the person figured that the caller would give up. But when the ringing didn't stop, the person finally picked up the phone,
"Yah . . . Junsu . . . Do you even know what time it is? It's three in the morning and I had finally gotten myself to sleep no thanks to my insomnia."
"So this is Kim Junsu's phone?" the voice confirmed on the other line. Yoochun shot up in bed, alert at the unfamiliar voice,
"Who is this and why do you have this phone?"
"This is Detective Shim from the police precinct in Seoul. Kim Junsu was found dead at the Smoke Elixir earlier this evening. The result was that he died of cyanide poisoning," the voice said. Yoochun clasped a hand over his mouth, stunned at the sudden news.
"So, we wanted to know when and why he was at the club. Did he go there to meet someone?" the voice continued.
"No," Yoochun whispered. It wasn't as if Jaejoong knew who Junsu was. Afterall, it was just hours earlier that he had offered to --
And in that instance, Yoochun began to piece together the puzzle. The way his best friend was acting. The way Junsu didn't pick up his phone. Why didn't he realize it earlier?
"Did you remember something?" the voice broke his thoughts.
"No," Yoochun lied, "He always visited the Smoke Elixir from 8-10pm to release some stress. He doesn't even like alcohol so . . ." Yoochun rambled, not realizing that he had just given the other man the key information in solving the mystery.
"Oh? He doesn't?" the voice was surprised.
"Did I say something wrong?" Yoochun asked.
"No, not at all," the voice said.
"Is there anything else you need?" Yoochun wondered.
"No, that's it for now. If you think of anything else, maybe an enemy of Mr. Kim's, please don't hesitate to call me at (82) 2-392-1118," the voice replied.
"Sure . . . But can I take back his phone?" Yoochun asked. It was probably the only thing he ever had left that was personal to Junsu.
"And your relation to him is?" the voice asked. Yoochun swallowed. The relationship he had with Junsu was a secret one. Romantic relationships weren't tolerated in the work place. But this was different. This wasn't work related and the police would never disclose it to the public, would they?
"His . . . His boyfriend."
"Boyfriend? I'm sorry for your loss," the voice on the other line said with sympathy. Yoochun let out a choked sob as the man continued,
"You can pick up the cellphone at the police station. The address is 165 Migeun-dong, Seodaemun-gu."
"Okay," Yoochun shuddered, writing the address down quickly on the notepad he had on his bedside table and hung up. He flopped back down against his pillow. A few tears ran down the side of his face and he raised an arm over his eyes as more hot tears fell,
"Oh, god . . . Jaejoong . . ."
-x-
Jaejoong woke up the next day and took one look at his messy apartment and groaned. He remembered last night and every kill that he ever made, flashed through his mind. He never felt guilty with his past endeavors, but this time was different.
"I can't bear to see Yoochun. I have to avoid him. Just until this whole thing blows over," Jaejoong whispered and looked at his phone. He saw that he had gotten four missed calls and ten text messages from the other man. He hissed in frustration and turned off his phone. He needed to leave before Yoochun decided to come and check up on him.
He quickly pulled on his jacket and grabbed his wallet and keys. The bag with the white powder lay on the coffee table and with no hesitation, he pocketed the bag into his jacket. There was no way that he could get caught now.
-x-
Hours later when the sun was high in the sky, Changmin sat at his desk brooding over the folder of their latest victim.
If Kim Junsu didn't drink, then how did the alcohol get into his system? Was he forced?
Changmin looked up when he heard running footsteps approaching from the hallway. The door burst open and his partner came rushing in,
"Changmin!"
Changmin shot the older man a glare, "How many times do I have to remind you that you should knock before entering and there's a no running policy in the halls. People can get hurt."
"Nevermind that," Yunho dismissed and sucked in a breath, "Someone by the name of Park Yoochun came by the station earlier and requested for Mr. Kim's phone. He said that you gave him permission to take it."
Changmin nodded and folded his hands on the table, "I did."
"Why? Who is he?" Yunho sat down in the seat across the younger man.
"I talked with him last night. He's Kim Junsu's boyfriend," Changmin said. Yunho raised a brow,
"He has a boyfriend?"
"Yeah. He came over to get Mr. Kim's phone. I thought he deserved it considering he didn't know what happened. I felt bad."
Yunho smiled, "The tough, I'm-smarter-than-you, Detective Shim actually has a heart."
The younger man sneered, "Totally irrelevant. And I've already told you last night that he is -- "
"Gay, I know," Yunho interrupted and ignored the glare that the younger man gave him, "But while I was looking up Mr. Kim's background, I didn't find anything about him having a boyfriend."
Changmin sighed and leaned back in his seat, "That's because he hid his relationship with Mr. Park from the public. He didn't want it to interfere with his work."
Yunho nodded, "Makes sense, I guess."
"I searched Mr. Park's background and found that he works at the same modeling agency as Mr. Kim. I think that was another reason for Mr. Kim to hide his relationship. The agency would be in chaos if word of their relationship got out to the media," Changmin said, looking through his notes. Yunho sighed and looked up,
"Did you figure out the reason why Mr. Kim was at the Smoke Elixir last night?"
Changmin nodded, flipping the page in his notebook, "Yeah, he said that Mr. Kim went there for relaxation."
Changmin then smirked and Yunho frowned at the change of expression, "What?"
"I think that if Mr. Kim was still alive and you two met, you would become great friends," Changmin said.
"Me with a model? No way," Yunho chuckled.
"Mr. Kim loved dancing and so do you, if I recall. That's why Mr. Kim was there -- to dance."
"So he models and dances," Yunho was impressed.
"But that's not even the surprising thing, " Changmin continued. Yunho rolled his eyes,
"I'm already surprised. I doubt I can be more surprised than I already am."
"Kim Junsu doesn't drink. His boyfriend confirmed it last night," Changmin said and let the information sink in through his partner's head. Yunho sat forward, surprised,
"Wait, what?"
Changmin smirked at the predictable response, "Told you."
"But -- I don't understand."
Changmin sighed and stood up, "That's okay if you can't comprehend what I just said. But we have to go. I want to ask the bartenders at the club if they saw what happened."
Yunho pouted when he didn't get an explanation, but nodded and followed the younger man out of the room.
-x-
Jaejoong tipped the shot of alcohol into his mouth and went to pour another when the bartender stopped him,
"Whoa, slow down. Drinking this early?"
Jaejoong glared with half-lidded eyes, "Why? Is that a crime now?"
Then he laughed at his poor choice of words. The bartender looked at him in concern,
"No . . . Look, do you have a ride home?"
Jaejoong scoffed, "It's early in the morning like you've said. No one's going to attack me in broad daylight."
Then he leered at the man, "Unless you want to take me home?"
The man was speechless and Jaejoong let out a bark of laughter and slurred, "I'm just joking . . . Sheesh."
"Let me call someone for you," the man said and Jaejoong didn't protest when the man took his phone. He hoped that the man didn't call Yoochun.
-x-
Yoochun couldn't go to work after he had learned that his prized model and caring boyfriend had just been murdered. He didn't want to be bothered with his co-workers of the issue nor take a step into the building where their relationship began.
He had just left the police station with Junsu's phone in his hands. He didn't turn on the device just yet. He wasn't ready. He had to know the reason why first.
But that morning before heading to the police station, he tried calling Jaejoong and texting him, but it was left unanswered. He thought something must've happened for the other man to ignore him. So, that was why he was currently on his way to Jaejoong's apartment. However, halfway to the apartment, his phone rang. He was surprised by who called.
"Jaejoong?" Yoochun answered, but it wasn't his friend who answered him. He sighed in relief as he quietly listened to the man on the other line explain the situation to him.
"Okay, thank you. I'll be there soon," Yoochun hung up and drove over to the bar where he and Jaejoong loved to frequent and found the other man passed out with his head on the counter. He noticed the wallet on the counter next to the other's head and swallowed thickly. It was Junsu's wallet. He had given the wallet as a gift to congratulate the younger man for getting onto the cover page of a Vogue magazine. He reached over to take the wallet and flipped it open, gasping audibly when he found Junsu's ID card still tucked in the pocket. He placed the wallet back when the bartender came around the counter. He nodded to the bartender in greeting before shaking his best friend gently. He still couldn't believe that he found evidence that it was definitely Jaejoong who had killed his Junsu.
"Jaejoong . . . Jaejoong-ah . . . Wake up. Let's go, okay?"
"Chunnie?" Jaejoong groaned, smacking his lips. He wrinkled his nose when he tasted the stale aftertaste of alcohol and his mouth felt parched. He wanted water.
"It's me," Yoochun answered softly. Jaejoong realized that it was his best friend that was standing next to him and he weakly pushed the other man away,
"Why are you here? I don't want you."
Yoochun noticed the other's rasp voice and turned to the bartender, "I'm sorry, but could you get me a cup of water?"
The man nodded and left the counter. Yoochun turned back to his best friend who returned to his previous posture. He hauled the other man up by the elbow, but Jaejoong whined in protest. The man came back with a cup of water and Yoochun took it, pressing the lip of the cup against Jaejoong's mouth,
"Here, drink."
Jaejoong opened his eyes and grabbed the cup, greedily, chugging the cool beverage down his throat. Yoochun stood there waiting until Jaejoong slammed the empty glass cup onto the counter. Yoochun turned to the man,
"How much do I owe you?"
"20,000 won. Not counting the water," the man answered. Yoochun turned to his best friend who had laid his head back down on the counter and sighed at the scene. He pulled out the exact amount of cash and gave it to the man, then he pocketed his wallet.
"Jaejoong, get up. I don't know why you wouldn't want to see me -- " Yoochun said.
Even though I do know.
" -- But I'm here, so you can't take 'no' for an answer."
He successfully pulled the other man to his feet and pretended not to see Jaejoong putting Junsu's wallet away. They both made their way over to Yoochun's car. When Jaejoong was safely secured in the passenger's seat, Yoochun rushed over to the driver's seat. He could see the other man struggling with the belt, whining that it was too tight and suffocating.
"Stop that," Yoochun sighed. Jaejoong frowned and looked over at him,
"Where are you taking me?"
"Home," Yoochun said and looked over at his best friend when silence fell between them.
"So, why were you drinking so early in the morning? Didn't you have enough last night?"
At the mention of the previous night, Jaejoong turned his attention out of the window. Yoochun frowned, knowing exactly why the other man couldn't look him in the eye, and why he didn't want to talk to him.
Yoochun gripped the steering wheel tightly until his knuckles were white. He wanted to scream and hit something . . . someone. He wanted to blurt out the fact that he knew that it was Jaejoong, his best friend, who did it. But he kept his mouth closed instead.
He believed that Jaejoong could change, because he knew deep down that it was his fault that Junsu died. His fault that his best friend couldn't kick his long-time habit of killing just to gain control over his victims. He wished he could go back in time and stop everything.
"We're here," Jaejoong's slurred voice snapped Yoochun out of his musings. Yoochun drove into the parking lot, hoping to find a place to park, but Jaejoong stopped him,
"I don't want you to get out. Just pull up to the entrance."
Yoochun complied, albiet reluctantly and drove right up to the apartment complex entrance. Jaejoong got out and slammed the door. Yoochun watched as his friend entered the building, before pulling out of the parking lot and back onto the street. He stopped at a red light, opened his glove compartment, and pulled out a card. Inside the card, he had written a short message about how much he loved Junsu and congratulating them on their six-month anniversary that was coming up in a few days.
"And it took me ten tries to finally get the message right," Yoochun whispered, voice breaking. The corner of the card crinkled in his grip as he wiped away his unshed tears with his other hand. He let go of the brake pedal and pressed the gas pedal lightly when the light turned green.
He shouldn't feel angry at Jaejoong, but he couldn't help it.
-x-
Jaejoong returned to his apartment and lay gingerly on the sofa. His head was pounding and all he wanted was to go back to sleep. He tried to drown his guilt with alcohol and it worked to forget about what he had done to Junsu. But then his best friend showed up, his soulmate, the one he grew up with, the one he told all his secrets to, and all the guilt and frustration returned.
Jaejoong clenched his eyes. But now, he couldn't tell Yoochun any more of his secrets. He couldn't risk being around the other man and let his guilt well him up. He didn't want to see his soulmate get angry with him. He wouldn't be able to survive if there was no one left to lean on.
Jaejoong shuddered as he curled within himself on the sofa and whimpered.
I'm sorry, Chunnie. I'm sorry that our relationship will be filled with lies from now on.
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