So I have this problem that I can't play flute when there are people around.
I have no idea why. I just get nervous and fed up and am too afraid to play loudly - which is, of course, the only way to play any note higher than a G. It sucks! I really want to practice but my brain won't let me.
I can play fine at conventions, surrounded by complete strangers. It's loud enough that I don't care if I'm loud, and people like it and I have fun. But I don't like to carry around my music stand and sheet music at conventions, so I can only play things I have memorized, and I don't play anything new. If I want to sound something out, it tends to take a day of figuring it out alone. It's the same with sightreading. I am very slow at learning new songs.
I have about one hour a week where I'm the only person in the apartment, and it's not enough time to do anything. I know, logically, that nobody would mind, even if some of my high notes are just squeaks and I play the same measure over and over again, but I have this real problem where I always think I'm imposing on people. It pisses me off, because I really want to play. I enjoy it.
In less emo news, I'm going to see Battle Royale for free this Friday, and then go to a video game/anime concert on Saturday. Then next weekend is Snafu Con (oh mannn I don't have my costume done/started yet), and then Halloween, which includes going to some sort of Beatles tribute thing. And then Last Guardian comes out! ....the day after I go back to Santa Cruz, unfortunately, but maybe Jan can pick it up for me.
Also I started drawing my comic again! I haven't colored any pages, but I'm five pages ahead in the hard copies, so that's fun. Maybe someday I'll even update.
And finally, I'm gonna try and write a ton of short stories for NaNoWriMo. Fun times.