[Oneshot] Time is Not Up
Title: Time is Not Up
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, slight!Angst, Fluff
Pairing: Onew/OC (You)
Summary: Why is meeting your boyfriend so difficult?
“Um, let’s see. I’ll meet you tomorrow at 8 o’clock?”
“Alright.”
Beep. Beep. Beep.
I sighed. Not even a “Goodbye, I miss you” from Jinki. Then again, who was I kidding?
I finished up the last bit of the coffee left in my cup. It was bitter and cold - I have been sitting in this café for 2 hours, waiting for him. In the end he called me to say there was a last minute change on his schedule - something not very rare - and he arranged to meet tomorrow instead.
I have learnt not to expect anything, because it hurts when things don’t turn out the way I want it to be.
It’s hard dating an idol - everyone who has common sense knows that much. I knew it too. But I wasn’t prepared to deal with the amount of pain I was suffering.
Our first meeting was not romantic - I was helping a friend out to be a part-time backstage crew for Dream Concert and Jinki was looking for his bracelet (which he claimed had dropped while he was practicing his steps back stage). I coincidentally found it and returned it to him. I remembered how his eyes sparkled and he smiled at me warmly, showing off his white set of teeth. He was adorable and I fell in love.
Of course I knew who he was. Shinee’s leader Onew aka. Lee Jinki. He’s an amazing person - like a star far away in the sky, and I can’t reach him.
But we met again when I walked past my college great hall - the seniors were having their graduation ceremony. I went to congratulate my cousin, but I bumped into him and his eyes were teary, but his smile was still radiant. He grinned at me and said, “hey”.
Not long after that I joined SM Academy as one of the trainees. I had never thought of debuting but I wanted to learn how to dance and be a singer. This made me a step closer to Jinki, and I was happy.
We came to know each other (he still remembered my face), exchanged names, e-mail, hand phone numbers, and soon we were texting each other. The texts upgraded to late night phone calls, and then during last year’s Valentine’s Day, Jinki confessed to me. We are now together and it’s been four months.
Within those four months, Jinki had around 30 pending dates with me due to a change of his schedule. I never blamed him, I could understand he was busy, but I couldn’t help feeling sad and disappointed. I kept it to myself most of the time.
Every time Jinki came out to meet me, he looked apologetic and said, “I’m sorry, I wish I could spend more time with you” and I would smile it off and tell him it was fine.
…
I glanced at the clock. 10.29PM.
I sighed again. Flipping open my hand phone absentmindedly to find no missed calls and no new messages. I flipped it close, and stood up.
“See you again!” The waitress bid me goodbye cheerfully. I faked a smile.
Screw expectations.
…
FROM: Jinki
I’m so sorry. Let me make up to you tonight, okay? Love you.
I didn’t have to think twice as I started typing.
TO: Jinki
Don’t bother.
…
57 Missed Calls, 3 Voice Mails.
I scrolled down. All from Jinki.
First voice mail.
Are you all right? Why are you not answering your call?
Second.
Please don’t be angry, I’ll make it up to you, I promise.
Third.
Just let me know that you’re fine, please. I’m worried…
I’m not fine. But I swallowed my pride and texted him.
Don’t worry. I’m alive.
…
Time passed by really slowly for me. It had been 3 weeks since I last met Jinki, 2 weeks since I gave him cold shoulder. I distracted myself by dancing most of the time (thank God SM Academy has practice rooms). Jinki would text me every single day without fail, and I would give him a short reply just to assure him I’m alive.
Today is supposed to be our 5th month anniversary. I wasn’t going to kick a fuss about it but Jinki texted me this morning.
FROM: Jinki
Happy fifth month Anniversary! Please take care of me always. Let’s meet at the café at 7PM for dinner! Love you!
I couldn’t help feeling happy so I agreed. The clock ticked slower than usual (or that’s just my imagination since I couldn’t wait for dinner) but it was finally 7PM and I was in the same café where Jinki abandoned me 3 weeks ago.
Tic.
7.05PM
Toc.
7.30PM
Tic.
8PM
Toc.
9PM.
Tic.
9.30PM.
Toc.
“Excuse me, Miss, we are very sorry but we’re closing the shop.” The friendly waitress approached me.
I held back my tears as I thanked her and got out of the café.
I have had enough.
…
TO: Jinki
I’m sorry, let’s break up.
I wiped my tears and steadied my breaths. I was sitting on a small swing at playground nearby. It wasn’t that far from my apartment but I couldn’t find the strength to walk home.
This was it, I thought. I no longer had to fight for this relationship. No longer needed to feel desperate for Jinki’s love. The damage was done and I could finally let go.
I looked around the already dark and eerie park and my eyes fell onto the big clock showing the current time.
Tic.
11.15PM.
Toc.
11.45PM.
Tic.
11.58PM.
Toc.
11.59PM-
The clock struck twelve and I felt a pair of arms hugging me from my back. My eyes widened in surprise as the familiar feeling of Jinki’s hair on my cheeks returned at that moment, and I was convinced this was an imagination until I heard Jinki’s ragged breaths.
“I’m sorry.” Pants. “I’m so damn sorry, oh God, you waited so long, I’m so sorry!”
I couldn’t speak. I didn’t know what to say anyway. I let my tears fell uncontrollably.
He pulled me up and made me face him, but I didn’t want to look into his eyes. I was afraid of God knows what. This is Jinki in front of me - I hadn’t seen him for almost a month and yet, despite all the hurt I was feeling, my heart missed him so bad I wanted to kiss him senseless.
“Yeobo.” He called me; his hands gently cupped my face. “Look at me, please?”
I shut my eyes - a few more tears fell - and I heard him sigh.
“I can understand if you’re angry with me, but let’s go somewhere else. I can’t risk getting into any scandal.”
It was all blurry - but when I sort of regained my senses, we were both in front of my apartment. Jinki was unlocking the door (he had a spare key, I gave him one for our first month anniversary gift) and once done, he pulled me inside.
Ten minutes later I found myself sitting on the couch next to Jinki. He didn’t look angry, just pained and I don’t know why.
“Are you sure about this?” He asked, his voice solemn as he held up his hand phone, showing me the text I had sent to him just now.
I nodded.
“Why?”
I bit my lips.
“Tell me what are you feeling.”
“I’m…”
Tired of everything.
Tired of waiting.
Tired of missing you.
Tired of telling myself that you love me and that I have to understand the fact that you can’t just toss everything aside just to be with me.
Tired of loving you.
“… I’m fine.” I managed.
He shifted closer and again, cupped my face.
“Look at me and tell me.” He spoke again, his voice so gentle I felt myself dying a little more.
I dared myself to meet his pair of eyes. And I saw it:
Insecurity.
Fear.
Hesitance.
Hurt.
Sadness.
Love.
My throat was blocked, I knew if I told him what I felt he would understand and we would be okay. But no words came out of my mouth.
Jinki silently observed my face, his eyes still locked into mine as if reading my mind. It seemed that he understood what I was feeling, because then he said,
“I won’t let you go. I know it’s been hard for you; it’s been hard for the both of us. I know I made you wait for so many times, so bloody long I want to kill myself for that, but please… Hang in there. Please be there to wait for me. Please don’t leave me.”
“I’m not breaking up with you.” Jinki said firmly (and it was weird, because he was always so goofy). “I will never break up with you. Even if you walked away, I’ll chase you to the end of the world and hold you tightly in my arms so you won’t go away. I love you.”
Then he leaned forward and kissed me - oh how I missed his kisses, his touches… I felt like I was melting. I closed my eyes and let him take control.
“… Love you too.” I managed to mumble on his lips, and I felt him smile slightly.
“Happy fifth month anniversary.”
…
FROM: Jinki
I’ll see you at the café at 7PM, Yeobo. Miss you!
I sighed.
Tic.
6.58PM.
Toc.
7PM.
Tic.
7.10PM.
Toc.
7.30PM.
“I’m sorry I’m late!” Jinki came in, bursting through the café door.
I smiled.
“It’s alright.” I told him. “Thanks for coming.”
I’m glad our time is not up.