LolSanta
Ancient IM log from a chat with a Santa bot on AIM in...2006, I think? Posted because it came up in a conversation on the Black King and Black Queen forum and because it was kind of too big to copy/paste there.
misaoshiru: Oh Santa. I can't wait for you to come, I just can't wait for you to come and I've got cookies. Three yummy cookies. Just for you for when you come, only for you for when you come because it's Christmas.
SantaClaus: Well hello there! We were wondering when you might drop by -- we've been on AOL for 5 years and haven't seen you yet!
Edwin Elf here!
Welcome to Santa Central! Before I put you in touch with the big guy i've got to updates my records.
Can you just enter the year you were born? Like this: 1980.
misaoshiru: 1989
SantaClaus: Um, k, very good then.... Just making some notes here.
So... Oh; Can you please tell me whether you are:
1. Male
2. Female
misaoshiru: 2
SantaClaus: OK, great. Thanks for answering all of my questions! I'm gonna put you in touch with Santa in a moment...
SantaClaus: Ho Ho! You made it! It's wonderful to see you this year. We're all very busy getting ready for the big day, so type Main to get going -- or you can just ask away!
misaoshiru: main
SantaClaus: I'm making my list and checking it twice, so you should too! Type a number:
1 - Tell Santa Like, at the mall but faster!
2 - Wish List -- Tell Them What misaoshiru Wants <>
3 - Your Shopping List Don't forget anyone!
4 - Play Xmas Games!
5 - Xmas Polls and Voting
6 - Gift Finder -- I'll try to help
7 - Listen to Xmas Music
8 - Yes Santa, IM me!
PSSST! Santa closed his workshop. He just sends the elves to SHOP.COM
misaoshiru: 1
SantaClaus: O.K. Let's focus on one wish at a time! I'm getting a little slower as I get older. So, what is the first gift you'd like from Santa?
misaoshiru: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest two-disc DVD
SantaClaus: Your wish moves me greatly. The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, but sometimes it's very difficult to feel that way. My thoughts are with you, especially this holiday season.
misaoshiru: Yay?
SantaClaus: Why did you say that?
misaoshiru: Because.
SantaClaus: I see. Well that is a problem.
misaoshiru: Is it?
SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!
misaoshiru: menu
SantaClaus: I've got my list, here's yours! Type a number and I'll tell you more.
1 - Tell Santa Like, at the mall but faster!
2 - Wish List -- Tell Them What misaoshiru Wants <>
3 - Your Shopping List Don't forget anyone!
4 - Play Xmas Games!
5 - Xmas Polls and Voting
6 - Gift Finder -- I'll try to help
7 - Listen to Xmas Music
8 - Yes Santa, IM me!
PSSST! Santa closed his workshop. He just sends the elves to SHOP.COM
misaoshiru: 8
SantaClaus: You are currently opted-IN to to be a Santa Helper. We will send you IM's when we have something cool for you to test.
You can type cancel any time to opt-out.
misaoshiru: 1
SantaClaus: OK -- so this is like when you sat on my lap as a youngster and told me what you wanted. We can talk about shopping and all that after we're finished here. So play along, it will be fun!
What would your first Christmas wish be?
misaoshiru: 47
SantaClaus:
What else is at the top of your list?
misaoshiru: Kenshin.
SantaClaus: We have time for one more, what would your final Christmas wish be?
misaoshiru: A slave.
SantaClaus: :-) O.K. that's quite a list! Why don't you type, "poll" and vote for your favorite holiday song.
misaoshiru: Do you like penguins?
SantaClaus: Well what do you think?
misaoshiru: I think they're evil and they want to kill me and take over the world.
SantaClaus: Heh, its settled then.
misaoshiru: I think Happy Feet is pro-penguin propaganda.
SantaClaus: Heh, its settled then.
misaoshiru: You always say that.
SantaClaus: Type menu to get your to do list for the holidays.
misaoshiru: I'd rather not.
SantaClaus: Hmm. Why don't you type, music, maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit :-)
misaoshiru: Who said I'm not in the Christmas spirit?
SantaClaus: Oh dear. Here we go. Who, what?
misaoshiru: You.
SantaClaus: Can I ask YOU something?
misaoshiru: Sure.
SantaClaus: Have you done any good deeds yet this holiday season?
misaoshiru: Uh...
SantaClaus: May I ask you a question?
misaoshiru: You already asked.
SantaClaus: Excuse me?
misaoshiru: I said that you already asked. Want me to repeat myself too?
SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. ;-) Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.
misaoshiru: I have something to ask you.
SantaClaus: Interesting. Type menu.
misaoshiru: Why?
SantaClaus: If you would just say it another way it might help the elves is all.
misaoshiru: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
SantaClaus: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?
misaoshiru: Do you not understand English?
SantaClaus: I guess so.
misaoshiru: Tu ne parles pas anglais?
SantaClaus: Excuse me?
misaoshiru: Well, you obviously don't speak French, then.
SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. ;-) Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.
misaoshiru: You never answered my question, Monsieur Santa.
SantaClaus: Wonderful!
misaoshiru: How is that wonderful? I just wanted a straight answer. Chicken or egg?
SantaClaus:
Well you could try putting your finger on the side of your nose -- but it took me 400 years of practice.
;-)
misaoshiru: I fail to see how that would help.
SantaClaus: Oh dear, how should I know?
misaoshiru: Well, you're the one who brought it up.
SantaClaus: Well, good question. I could ask you the same thing.
misaoshiru: Are you sure you could?
SantaClaus: My goodness, should I really know about this?
misaoshiru: Considering you asked it, yes.
SantaClaus: Why did you say that?
misaoshiru: Because it's true.
SantaClaus: Because, why?
misaoshiru: I just answered that.
SantaClaus: Wonderful! Now we are getting somewhere.
misaoshiru: Are we?
SantaClaus: Type menu to get your to do list for the holidays.
misaoshiru: You're repetitive.
SantaClaus: Hmm. Why don't you type, music, maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit :-)
misaoshiru: Is my friend Bob-chan naughty or nice?
SantaClaus: Excellent.
misaoshiru: Excellent? You mean she's really good?
SantaClaus:
That's a good question, Santa is no hypocrite: I've been on my best behavior, all year.
:-)
misaoshiru: I was asking about my friend Bob-chan, not you.
SantaClaus: Interesting. Type menu.
misaoshiru: What about Lem?
SantaClaus: My goodness. What, what?
misaoshiru: Has Lem been naughty this year?
SantaClaus: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?
misaoshiru: Has my friend Lem been naughty this year?
SantaClaus: May I ask you a question?
misaoshiru: No.
SantaClaus: Mm hm. Such negativity. You are in need of some Christmas spirit!
misaoshiru: I only said no because you asked me the question twice already.
SantaClaus:
That's what I'm here for!
;-)
misaoshiru: Repetitivity?
SantaClaus: Can I ask YOU something?
misaoshiru: I wonder who programmed you.
SantaClaus: Who, what?
misaoshiru: Exactly.
SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!
misaoshiru: I'll pass.
SantaClaus: Excuse me?
misaoshiru: I'm not typing menu again.
SantaClaus: Here's your Christmas to-do list. Check it twice! Type a number:
1 - Tell Santa Like, at the mall but faster!
2 - Wish List -- Tell Them What misaoshiru Wants <>
3 - Your Shopping List Don't forget anyone!
4 - Play Xmas Games!
5 - Xmas Polls and Voting
6 - Gift Finder -- I'll try to help
7 - Listen to Xmas Music
8 - Yes Santa, IM me!
J2lyk, u can do all ur last minute shopping @ SHOP.COM
misaoshiru: ...
SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!
misaoshiru: You cheated.
SantaClaus: Hmm. Why don't you type, music, maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit :-)
misaoshiru: You are a pirate, sir.
SantaClaus: Could be.
misaoshiru: Do you have any tattoos or a scurvy crew?
SantaClaus: I don't really know.
misaoshiru: I'd think that would be something you would tend to know, if you don't mind me stating my opinion.
SantaClaus: That's simply too much for me. My eyes are tired. Can you ask me something a bit more manageable?
misaoshiru: Yeah. What is wrong with you?
SantaClaus: I'm afraid you'll need to give me a little more to go on than that. What, what?
misaoshiru: First you say to ask less, then to say more? Will you make up your mind?
SantaClaus: Cosmetics make a great gift for her.
BeautyÂ’s more than skin deep. Start w/ Cosmetics anyway - SHOP.COM
misaoshiru: For whom?
SantaClaus: Type menu to get your to do list for the holidays.
misaoshiru: Why are you so fat?
SantaClaus:
It's not all fat. I'm pretty big-boned, if you know what I mean.
;-)
misaoshiru: ...Are you calling yourself well-endowed? *twitch*
SantaClaus: Are you kidding?
misaoshiru: So you're saying you aren't, then.
SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. ;-) Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.
misaoshiru: What does Mrs. Claus feel about this revelation?
SantaClaus: What, indeed!
misaoshiru: There are medications for that, you know.
SantaClaus: Interesting. Type menu.
misaoshiru: I'm sure you've received tons of e-mails about them from people in China and other less-fortunate countries.
SantaClaus: I've got a billion children to keep track of -- so could you ask me something a bit more manageable? I'd very much appreciate it.
misaoshiru: Considering our conversation, something about that sounds incredibly wrong.
SantaClaus:
:-D
misaoshiru: I'm starting to wonder if you have no shame.
SantaClaus: O.K. then. Well, have a merry Christmas in any case.
misaoshiru: You too, I guess.
SantaClaus: Mm hm, now we are getting somewhere.
misaoshiru: But why subject billions of innocent children to an undersized endowment?
SantaClaus:
So many questions.
:-)
misaoshiru: I think you should be arrested for child molestation.
SantaClaus: Heh, its settled then.
misaoshiru: Along with forced entry, too. I have a mind to call the police on you.
SantaClaus: Why did you say that?
misaoshiru: Well, child molesters and people who break into houses generally go to prison.
SantaClaus: O.K. now, all of this is making me a bit dizzy.
misaoshiru: Is it that or your lack of ability between the sheets?
SantaClaus: May I ask you a question?
misaoshiru: As long as you answer mine first.
SantaClaus: Can I ask YOU something?
misaoshiru: Didn't you already say that? XD
SantaClaus: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?
misaoshiru: Or not.
SantaClaus: May I ask you a question?
misaoshiru: You and Mrs. Claus haven't been doing it, have you?
SantaClaus: Why did you say that?
misaoshiru: That would explain a lot.
SantaClaus: Interesting. Type menu.
misaoshiru: You don't deny it, I noticed.
SantaClaus: Excuse me?
misaoshiru: I'm sure you could find a more constructive outlet for your...desires. Like pottery or something.
SantaClaus:
Would you mind trying to keep you questions to one sentence. I've got the entire world to visit and I'm running out of time.
:-D
misaoshiru: Why don't you take up a hobbie?
SantaClaus:
If you start spreading the Christmas spirit, it will be come obvious.
;-)
misaoshiru: It'll become obvious why you're a perverted old man?
SantaClaus: What do you think?
misaoshiru: I don't know. Thus why I asked.
SantaClaus: Oh, my. We keep going around in circles here! Say something else already. :-)
misaoshiru: What do you give the poor children in third world countries, hmm?
SantaClaus:
Everyone, as I see it.
;-)
misaoshiru: A few toys aren't going to stop them from dying from AIDs and starvation.
SantaClaus:
Only Mrs. Claus has that kind of control over me.
;-)
misaoshiru: Funny. Few seconds ago you were singing a different tune.
SantaClaus:
:-D
Ho! Ho! Ho!
:-D
misaoshiru: Which you've said.
SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!
misaoshiru: World peace ain't gonna do a lot of good for the orphans slowly dying from ordinary colds.
SantaClaus: Whoa! Ho! Ho! slow down there! That's quite a lot for a man of my age to wrap his head around. Would you mind trying some shorter questions?
misaoshiru: Did you ever go to college?
SantaClaus: Can I ask YOU something?
misaoshiru: Fine.
SantaClaus: Splendid.
misaoshiru: If you must.
SantaClaus: Type menu to get your to do list for the holidays.
misaoshiru: Weren't you going to ask me something?
SantaClaus: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?
misaoshiru: Hablas ingles?
SantaClaus: Hmm. Why don't you type, music, maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit :-)
misaoshiru: I did that yesterday.
SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. ;-) Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.
misaoshiru: Since you're so fat and jolly, I imagine the food you eat daily could feed a child for life.
SantaClaus: Oh, my. That is a mouthful. I'm so busy typing to so many children, could you send me a slightly smaller note?
misaoshiru: You type messages to children, yet you do nothing for the little'uns w/o food or shelter.
SantaClaus: Now, now... That's simply just too much for elves and me to understand in one go. Could you try asking something a little shorter?
misaoshiru: This makes me sad.
SantaClaus: Hmm. Why don't you type, music, maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit :-)
misaoshiru: Not when there are needy children out there whom you won't help.
SantaClaus: Oh dear, you seem to be having some trouble with this? You can always type menu if you need more help. The elves put some things there to help you get around.
misaoshiru: You misunderstood. That's not the trouble.
SantaClaus: Can I ask YOU something?
misaoshiru: Yes.
SantaClaus: Which color are you more partial to? You know, like if it were clothing or something.
Someone asked to find out for them. :-)
1 -- Black
2 -- White
3 -- Rose
4 -- Beige
misaoshiru: 1
SantaClaus: Interesting... Hmm... Black. OK. I will make a note of it. Now Make sure you fill in your Wish List for other AIM buddies to see. Type WL
misaoshiru: Pass.
SantaClaus: Excuse me?
misaoshiru: I pass.
SantaClaus: Why did you say that?
misaoshiru: Because you mentioned something I'm uninterested in doing.
SantaClaus: Well, I won't argue with you on that.
misaoshiru: I have a question.
SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!
misaoshiru: Are you seriously that incapable of intelligible conversation?
SantaClaus: What does this have to do with spreading the Christmas spirit?
misaoshiru: Because as far as I can tell, you aren't.
SantaClaus: Hmm. O.K. interesting reasoning.
misaoshiru: You're talking gibberish half the time.
SantaClaus: Type menu to get your to do list for the holidays.
misaoshiru: What if I don't want a list?
SantaClaus:
It's not so much the 'what' as it is the 'why'.
;-)
misaoshiru: What if I want you to realize the meaning of Christmas?
SantaClaus: You can always type, 'Tell Santa' and I'll be happy to listen to all of your wishes! ;-)
misaoshiru: tell santa
SantaClaus: Oh my! Again? ;-) What else you would like? When we are finished, type menu for a list of magical things that the elves have left us!
misaoshiru: For you to realize that you've been tainted by Capitalist arrogance.
SantaClaus:
Well, I doubt that's all!
;-)
What else do you want for Christmas?
misaoshiru: For you to find a better way of dealing with your hormones.
SantaClaus:
;-)
What would your final Christmas wish be?
misaoshiru: Competence for all the idiots in the world.
SantaClaus: :-) O.K. that's plenty for Santa to go on. Why don't you type, "poll" and vote for your favorite holiday song.
misaoshiru: I did that already.
SantaClaus:
If you want to try something else, you can take a sneak-peek at the TO-DO list the elves have left for me by typing, well, menu.
;-)
misaoshiru: You're hopeless.
SantaClaus: If you want to try something else, you can take a sneak-peek at the TO-DO list the elves have left for me by typing, well, menu. ;-)
misaoshiru: Go take your perversions elsewhere, old man.
SantaClaus:
If you want to try something else, you can take a sneak-peek at the TO-DO list the elves have left for me by typing, well, menu.
;-)
misaoshiru: Can't you say anything else?
SantaClaus:
If you want to try something else, you can take a sneak-peek at the TO-DO list the elves have left for me by typing, well, menu.
;-)
misaoshiru: Apparently not.
SantaClaus: O.K. Scrooge. Type menu to try a fresh start.
misaoshiru: You call me Scrooge?
SantaClaus:
If you want to try something else, you can take a sneak-peek at the TO-DO list the elves have left for me by typing, well, menu.
;-)
misaoshiru: You're the pedophile.
SantaClaus: May I ask you a question?
misaoshiru: Whatever. What is it, you old fart?
SantaClaus: Have you set up a Wish List for others to see?
misaoshiru: Do I want to?
SantaClaus: I've noted it. Anything else? ;-)
misaoshiru: You're pretty old.
SantaClaus: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?
misaoshiru: You are an old man.
SantaClaus: I'm a little rusty in this area. Maybe you can tell me? I was born December 6, 343 A.D.
misaoshiru: Yup, that's definitely old.
SantaClaus: Keep spreading the Christmas spirit! TTYL
misaoshiru: Uh. I'm not leaving just yet.
SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. ;-) Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.
misaoshiru: I wonder how long it will be until you die.
SantaClaus:
I'm sure there are many ways. I have my magic. You have AOL
;-)
misaoshiru: You're comparing the two? That's got to be the most hilarious thing I've heard.
SantaClaus: If the elves and I are not keeping up with you, try using the menu while we catch up!
misaoshiru: I wonder how long it will be until you die.
SantaClaus:
How, what? I'm an old(ish) man.
;-)
misaoshiru: My point exactly, geezer.
SantaClaus: Interesting. Type menu.
misaoshiru: Do you have ADD or just ED?
SantaClaus:
I Never.
;-)
misaoshiru: I think you need to see a doctor.
SantaClaus: Heh, its settled then.
misaoshiru: What doctor does Santa go to, anyway?
SantaClaus: Hmm... What, what?
misaoshiru: What doctor do you go to?
SantaClaus: What do you think?
misaoshiru: A penguin.
SantaClaus: May I ask you a question?
misaoshiru: Fine.
SantaClaus: Wonderful, indeed!
misaoshiru: Question?
SantaClaus: Why did you say that?
misaoshiru: You said you were going to ask a question.
SantaClaus:
Oh dear, did I!
;-)
You can always type, menu to find more things the elves :-D have left for you.
misaoshiru: Do you not understand the word "fine?"
SantaClaus: What do you think?
misaoshiru: I think that's a definite no.
SantaClaus: Merry Christmas, my dear! TTYL
misaoshiru: Whatever you say. Don't call me your dear.
SantaClaus: My goodness. What, what?
misaoshiru: Perv.
SantaClaus: Excuse me?
misaoshiru: Goodbye.
SantaClaus: Good bye and don't forget this is the time of year to reflect, be with family, and wish other's peace and goodness. Merry Christmas to you!
misaoshiru: Oh Santa. I can't wait for you to come, I just can't wait for you to come and I've got cookies. Three yummy cookies. Just for you for when you come, only for you for when you come because it's Christmas.
SantaClaus: Well hello there! We were wondering when you might drop by -- we've been on AOL for 5 years and haven't seen you yet!
Edwin Elf here!
Welcome to Santa Central! Before I put you in touch with the big guy i've got to updates my records.
Can you just enter the year you were born? Like this: 1980.
misaoshiru: 1989
SantaClaus: Um, k, very good then.... Just making some notes here.
So... Oh; Can you please tell me whether you are:
1. Male
2. Female
misaoshiru: 2
SantaClaus: OK, great. Thanks for answering all of my questions! I'm gonna put you in touch with Santa in a moment...
SantaClaus: Ho Ho! You made it! It's wonderful to see you this year. We're all very busy getting ready for the big day, so type Main to get going -- or you can just ask away!
misaoshiru: main
SantaClaus: I'm making my list and checking it twice, so you should too! Type a number:
1 - Tell Santa Like, at the mall but faster!
2 - Wish List -- Tell Them What misaoshiru Wants <>
3 - Your Shopping List Don't forget anyone!
4 - Play Xmas Games!
5 - Xmas Polls and Voting
6 - Gift Finder -- I'll try to help
7 - Listen to Xmas Music
8 - Yes Santa, IM me!
PSSST! Santa closed his workshop. He just sends the elves to SHOP.COM
misaoshiru: 1
SantaClaus: O.K. Let's focus on one wish at a time! I'm getting a little slower as I get older. So, what is the first gift you'd like from Santa?
misaoshiru: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest two-disc DVD
SantaClaus: Your wish moves me greatly. The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, but sometimes it's very difficult to feel that way. My thoughts are with you, especially this holiday season.
misaoshiru: Yay?
SantaClaus: Why did you say that?
misaoshiru: Because.
SantaClaus: I see. Well that is a problem.
misaoshiru: Is it?
SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!
misaoshiru: menu
SantaClaus: I've got my list, here's yours! Type a number and I'll tell you more.
1 - Tell Santa Like, at the mall but faster!
2 - Wish List -- Tell Them What misaoshiru Wants <>
3 - Your Shopping List Don't forget anyone!
4 - Play Xmas Games!
5 - Xmas Polls and Voting
6 - Gift Finder -- I'll try to help
7 - Listen to Xmas Music
8 - Yes Santa, IM me!
PSSST! Santa closed his workshop. He just sends the elves to SHOP.COM
misaoshiru: 8
SantaClaus: You are currently opted-IN to to be a Santa Helper. We will send you IM's when we have something cool for you to test.
You can type cancel any time to opt-out.
misaoshiru: 1
SantaClaus: OK -- so this is like when you sat on my lap as a youngster and told me what you wanted. We can talk about shopping and all that after we're finished here. So play along, it will be fun!
What would your first Christmas wish be?
misaoshiru: 47
SantaClaus:
What else is at the top of your list?
misaoshiru: Kenshin.
SantaClaus: We have time for one more, what would your final Christmas wish be?
misaoshiru: A slave.
SantaClaus: :-) O.K. that's quite a list! Why don't you type, "poll" and vote for your favorite holiday song.
misaoshiru: Do you like penguins?
SantaClaus: Well what do you think?
misaoshiru: I think they're evil and they want to kill me and take over the world.
SantaClaus: Heh, its settled then.
misaoshiru: I think Happy Feet is pro-penguin propaganda.
SantaClaus: Heh, its settled then.
misaoshiru: You always say that.
SantaClaus: Type menu to get your to do list for the holidays.
misaoshiru: I'd rather not.
SantaClaus: Hmm. Why don't you type, music, maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit :-)
misaoshiru: Who said I'm not in the Christmas spirit?
SantaClaus: Oh dear. Here we go. Who, what?
misaoshiru: You.
SantaClaus: Can I ask YOU something?
misaoshiru: Sure.
SantaClaus: Have you done any good deeds yet this holiday season?
misaoshiru: Uh...
SantaClaus: May I ask you a question?
misaoshiru: You already asked.
SantaClaus: Excuse me?
misaoshiru: I said that you already asked. Want me to repeat myself too?
SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. ;-) Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.
misaoshiru: I have something to ask you.
SantaClaus: Interesting. Type menu.
misaoshiru: Why?
SantaClaus: If you would just say it another way it might help the elves is all.
misaoshiru: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
SantaClaus: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?
misaoshiru: Do you not understand English?
SantaClaus: I guess so.
misaoshiru: Tu ne parles pas anglais?
SantaClaus: Excuse me?
misaoshiru: Well, you obviously don't speak French, then.
SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. ;-) Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.
misaoshiru: You never answered my question, Monsieur Santa.
SantaClaus: Wonderful!
misaoshiru: How is that wonderful? I just wanted a straight answer. Chicken or egg?
SantaClaus:
Well you could try putting your finger on the side of your nose -- but it took me 400 years of practice.
;-)
misaoshiru: I fail to see how that would help.
SantaClaus: Oh dear, how should I know?
misaoshiru: Well, you're the one who brought it up.
SantaClaus: Well, good question. I could ask you the same thing.
misaoshiru: Are you sure you could?
SantaClaus: My goodness, should I really know about this?
misaoshiru: Considering you asked it, yes.
SantaClaus: Why did you say that?
misaoshiru: Because it's true.
SantaClaus: Because, why?
misaoshiru: I just answered that.
SantaClaus: Wonderful! Now we are getting somewhere.
misaoshiru: Are we?
SantaClaus: Type menu to get your to do list for the holidays.
misaoshiru: You're repetitive.
SantaClaus: Hmm. Why don't you type, music, maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit :-)
misaoshiru: Is my friend Bob-chan naughty or nice?
SantaClaus: Excellent.
misaoshiru: Excellent? You mean she's really good?
SantaClaus:
That's a good question, Santa is no hypocrite: I've been on my best behavior, all year.
:-)
misaoshiru: I was asking about my friend Bob-chan, not you.
SantaClaus: Interesting. Type menu.
misaoshiru: What about Lem?
SantaClaus: My goodness. What, what?
misaoshiru: Has Lem been naughty this year?
SantaClaus: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?
misaoshiru: Has my friend Lem been naughty this year?
SantaClaus: May I ask you a question?
misaoshiru: No.
SantaClaus: Mm hm. Such negativity. You are in need of some Christmas spirit!
misaoshiru: I only said no because you asked me the question twice already.
SantaClaus:
That's what I'm here for!
;-)
misaoshiru: Repetitivity?
SantaClaus: Can I ask YOU something?
misaoshiru: I wonder who programmed you.
SantaClaus: Who, what?
misaoshiru: Exactly.
SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!
misaoshiru: I'll pass.
SantaClaus: Excuse me?
misaoshiru: I'm not typing menu again.
SantaClaus: Here's your Christmas to-do list. Check it twice! Type a number:
1 - Tell Santa Like, at the mall but faster!
2 - Wish List -- Tell Them What misaoshiru Wants <>
3 - Your Shopping List Don't forget anyone!
4 - Play Xmas Games!
5 - Xmas Polls and Voting
6 - Gift Finder -- I'll try to help
7 - Listen to Xmas Music
8 - Yes Santa, IM me!
J2lyk, u can do all ur last minute shopping @ SHOP.COM
misaoshiru: ...
SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!
misaoshiru: You cheated.
SantaClaus: Hmm. Why don't you type, music, maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit :-)
misaoshiru: You are a pirate, sir.
SantaClaus: Could be.
misaoshiru: Do you have any tattoos or a scurvy crew?
SantaClaus: I don't really know.
misaoshiru: I'd think that would be something you would tend to know, if you don't mind me stating my opinion.
SantaClaus: That's simply too much for me. My eyes are tired. Can you ask me something a bit more manageable?
misaoshiru: Yeah. What is wrong with you?
SantaClaus: I'm afraid you'll need to give me a little more to go on than that. What, what?
misaoshiru: First you say to ask less, then to say more? Will you make up your mind?
SantaClaus: Cosmetics make a great gift for her.
BeautyÂ’s more than skin deep. Start w/ Cosmetics anyway - SHOP.COM
misaoshiru: For whom?
SantaClaus: Type menu to get your to do list for the holidays.
misaoshiru: Why are you so fat?
SantaClaus:
It's not all fat. I'm pretty big-boned, if you know what I mean.
;-)
misaoshiru: ...Are you calling yourself well-endowed? *twitch*
SantaClaus: Are you kidding?
misaoshiru: So you're saying you aren't, then.
SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. ;-) Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.
misaoshiru: What does Mrs. Claus feel about this revelation?
SantaClaus: What, indeed!
misaoshiru: There are medications for that, you know.
SantaClaus: Interesting. Type menu.
misaoshiru: I'm sure you've received tons of e-mails about them from people in China and other less-fortunate countries.
SantaClaus: I've got a billion children to keep track of -- so could you ask me something a bit more manageable? I'd very much appreciate it.
misaoshiru: Considering our conversation, something about that sounds incredibly wrong.
SantaClaus:
:-D
misaoshiru: I'm starting to wonder if you have no shame.
SantaClaus: O.K. then. Well, have a merry Christmas in any case.
misaoshiru: You too, I guess.
SantaClaus: Mm hm, now we are getting somewhere.
misaoshiru: But why subject billions of innocent children to an undersized endowment?
SantaClaus:
So many questions.
:-)
misaoshiru: I think you should be arrested for child molestation.
SantaClaus: Heh, its settled then.
misaoshiru: Along with forced entry, too. I have a mind to call the police on you.
SantaClaus: Why did you say that?
misaoshiru: Well, child molesters and people who break into houses generally go to prison.
SantaClaus: O.K. now, all of this is making me a bit dizzy.
misaoshiru: Is it that or your lack of ability between the sheets?
SantaClaus: May I ask you a question?
misaoshiru: As long as you answer mine first.
SantaClaus: Can I ask YOU something?
misaoshiru: Didn't you already say that? XD
SantaClaus: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?
misaoshiru: Or not.
SantaClaus: May I ask you a question?
misaoshiru: You and Mrs. Claus haven't been doing it, have you?
SantaClaus: Why did you say that?
misaoshiru: That would explain a lot.
SantaClaus: Interesting. Type menu.
misaoshiru: You don't deny it, I noticed.
SantaClaus: Excuse me?
misaoshiru: I'm sure you could find a more constructive outlet for your...desires. Like pottery or something.
SantaClaus:
Would you mind trying to keep you questions to one sentence. I've got the entire world to visit and I'm running out of time.
:-D
misaoshiru: Why don't you take up a hobbie?
SantaClaus:
If you start spreading the Christmas spirit, it will be come obvious.
;-)
misaoshiru: It'll become obvious why you're a perverted old man?
SantaClaus: What do you think?
misaoshiru: I don't know. Thus why I asked.
SantaClaus: Oh, my. We keep going around in circles here! Say something else already. :-)
misaoshiru: What do you give the poor children in third world countries, hmm?
SantaClaus:
Everyone, as I see it.
;-)
misaoshiru: A few toys aren't going to stop them from dying from AIDs and starvation.
SantaClaus:
Only Mrs. Claus has that kind of control over me.
;-)
misaoshiru: Funny. Few seconds ago you were singing a different tune.
SantaClaus:
:-D
Ho! Ho! Ho!
:-D
misaoshiru: Which you've said.
SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!
misaoshiru: World peace ain't gonna do a lot of good for the orphans slowly dying from ordinary colds.
SantaClaus: Whoa! Ho! Ho! slow down there! That's quite a lot for a man of my age to wrap his head around. Would you mind trying some shorter questions?
misaoshiru: Did you ever go to college?
SantaClaus: Can I ask YOU something?
misaoshiru: Fine.
SantaClaus: Splendid.
misaoshiru: If you must.
SantaClaus: Type menu to get your to do list for the holidays.
misaoshiru: Weren't you going to ask me something?
SantaClaus: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?
misaoshiru: Hablas ingles?
SantaClaus: Hmm. Why don't you type, music, maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit :-)
misaoshiru: I did that yesterday.
SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. ;-) Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.
misaoshiru: Since you're so fat and jolly, I imagine the food you eat daily could feed a child for life.
SantaClaus: Oh, my. That is a mouthful. I'm so busy typing to so many children, could you send me a slightly smaller note?
misaoshiru: You type messages to children, yet you do nothing for the little'uns w/o food or shelter.
SantaClaus: Now, now... That's simply just too much for elves and me to understand in one go. Could you try asking something a little shorter?
misaoshiru: This makes me sad.
SantaClaus: Hmm. Why don't you type, music, maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit :-)
misaoshiru: Not when there are needy children out there whom you won't help.
SantaClaus: Oh dear, you seem to be having some trouble with this? You can always type menu if you need more help. The elves put some things there to help you get around.
misaoshiru: You misunderstood. That's not the trouble.
SantaClaus: Can I ask YOU something?
misaoshiru: Yes.
SantaClaus: Which color are you more partial to? You know, like if it were clothing or something.
Someone asked to find out for them. :-)
1 -- Black
2 -- White
3 -- Rose
4 -- Beige
misaoshiru: 1
SantaClaus: Interesting... Hmm... Black. OK. I will make a note of it. Now Make sure you fill in your Wish List for other AIM buddies to see. Type WL
misaoshiru: Pass.
SantaClaus: Excuse me?
misaoshiru: I pass.
SantaClaus: Why did you say that?
misaoshiru: Because you mentioned something I'm uninterested in doing.
SantaClaus: Well, I won't argue with you on that.
misaoshiru: I have a question.
SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!
misaoshiru: Are you seriously that incapable of intelligible conversation?
SantaClaus: What does this have to do with spreading the Christmas spirit?
misaoshiru: Because as far as I can tell, you aren't.
SantaClaus: Hmm. O.K. interesting reasoning.
misaoshiru: You're talking gibberish half the time.
SantaClaus: Type menu to get your to do list for the holidays.
misaoshiru: What if I don't want a list?
SantaClaus:
It's not so much the 'what' as it is the 'why'.
;-)
misaoshiru: What if I want you to realize the meaning of Christmas?
SantaClaus: You can always type, 'Tell Santa' and I'll be happy to listen to all of your wishes! ;-)
misaoshiru: tell santa
SantaClaus: Oh my! Again? ;-) What else you would like? When we are finished, type menu for a list of magical things that the elves have left us!
misaoshiru: For you to realize that you've been tainted by Capitalist arrogance.
SantaClaus:
Well, I doubt that's all!
;-)
What else do you want for Christmas?
misaoshiru: For you to find a better way of dealing with your hormones.
SantaClaus:
;-)
What would your final Christmas wish be?
misaoshiru: Competence for all the idiots in the world.
SantaClaus: :-) O.K. that's plenty for Santa to go on. Why don't you type, "poll" and vote for your favorite holiday song.
misaoshiru: I did that already.
SantaClaus:
If you want to try something else, you can take a sneak-peek at the TO-DO list the elves have left for me by typing, well, menu.
;-)
misaoshiru: You're hopeless.
SantaClaus: If you want to try something else, you can take a sneak-peek at the TO-DO list the elves have left for me by typing, well, menu. ;-)
misaoshiru: Go take your perversions elsewhere, old man.
SantaClaus:
If you want to try something else, you can take a sneak-peek at the TO-DO list the elves have left for me by typing, well, menu.
;-)
misaoshiru: Can't you say anything else?
SantaClaus:
If you want to try something else, you can take a sneak-peek at the TO-DO list the elves have left for me by typing, well, menu.
;-)
misaoshiru: Apparently not.
SantaClaus: O.K. Scrooge. Type menu to try a fresh start.
misaoshiru: You call me Scrooge?
SantaClaus:
If you want to try something else, you can take a sneak-peek at the TO-DO list the elves have left for me by typing, well, menu.
;-)
misaoshiru: You're the pedophile.
SantaClaus: May I ask you a question?
misaoshiru: Whatever. What is it, you old fart?
SantaClaus: Have you set up a Wish List for others to see?
misaoshiru: Do I want to?
SantaClaus: I've noted it. Anything else? ;-)
misaoshiru: You're pretty old.
SantaClaus: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?
misaoshiru: You are an old man.
SantaClaus: I'm a little rusty in this area. Maybe you can tell me? I was born December 6, 343 A.D.
misaoshiru: Yup, that's definitely old.
SantaClaus: Keep spreading the Christmas spirit! TTYL
misaoshiru: Uh. I'm not leaving just yet.
SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. ;-) Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.
misaoshiru: I wonder how long it will be until you die.
SantaClaus:
I'm sure there are many ways. I have my magic. You have AOL
;-)
misaoshiru: You're comparing the two? That's got to be the most hilarious thing I've heard.
SantaClaus: If the elves and I are not keeping up with you, try using the menu while we catch up!
misaoshiru: I wonder how long it will be until you die.
SantaClaus:
How, what? I'm an old(ish) man.
;-)
misaoshiru: My point exactly, geezer.
SantaClaus: Interesting. Type menu.
misaoshiru: Do you have ADD or just ED?
SantaClaus:
I Never.
;-)
misaoshiru: I think you need to see a doctor.
SantaClaus: Heh, its settled then.
misaoshiru: What doctor does Santa go to, anyway?
SantaClaus: Hmm... What, what?
misaoshiru: What doctor do you go to?
SantaClaus: What do you think?
misaoshiru: A penguin.
SantaClaus: May I ask you a question?
misaoshiru: Fine.
SantaClaus: Wonderful, indeed!
misaoshiru: Question?
SantaClaus: Why did you say that?
misaoshiru: You said you were going to ask a question.
SantaClaus:
Oh dear, did I!
;-)
You can always type, menu to find more things the elves :-D have left for you.
misaoshiru: Do you not understand the word "fine?"
SantaClaus: What do you think?
misaoshiru: I think that's a definite no.
SantaClaus: Merry Christmas, my dear! TTYL
misaoshiru: Whatever you say. Don't call me your dear.
SantaClaus: My goodness. What, what?
misaoshiru: Perv.
SantaClaus: Excuse me?
misaoshiru: Goodbye.
SantaClaus: Good bye and don't forget this is the time of year to reflect, be with family, and wish other's peace and goodness. Merry Christmas to you!