if/when

[11cort29]

  because of the fact that my body has now not only rejected one baby but two i have a feeling that if/when i finally get pregnant and carry the baby to full term then i will die giving birth. this thought has crossed my mind a few times before and last night i told my boyfriend my fear and he of course told me no, that's not going to happen. i do

Comments

[yellowitchgrl]

I can't say I know the future or anything but your chances of dying in childbirth are very small.

I wish I knew what to tell you. I'm not sure I'll be able to have more kids. I've had 3 miscarriages. It's a craptastic place to be.

[impossiblelight]

when you get pregnant again, find a Dr who you have complete trust in and can confide in. If you are feeling anxious about childbirth still, make sure you and the Dr go through the "what if" plan for complications, which will hopefully calm you down.

I had a lot of panic attacks about my DD dying during childbirth, but the thought of me dying never crossed my mind. I do still have frequent "bad daydreams" about my children dying, or my husband dying. I think having had MCs (have had 4 now) really does change a person for life.

Odds are very much in your favor that A) you will carry a child successfully and that B) it will most likely be your next pregnancy. Good luck to you!

[sphyg]

I've had two miscarriages and if I manage to get pregnant again I don't want to know the sex in case things still go pear-shaped.

[lynn82md]

I've had that thought cross my mind myself, and it's been crossing my mind even before I miscarried. Personally, I think it's something every single woman ponders for concern at one point because childbirth did used to be the number one cause of death among women for centuries. Sure, the rate for women dying during childbirth had decreased significantly. However, just because our medical technology has advanced to the point where childbirth is no longer the number one cause of death among women...shit can still happen. I know this sounds a bit pessimistic, but keep in mind that it's hard for me to think otherwise especially since I almost died myself because I lost too much blood in a first trimester miscarriage.

However, I do think less about dying from childbirth than I do about losing a kid I gave birth to as well as losing my SO.

[ias]

Honestly, it all depends on how strong your desire to be a mother is and how open or otherwise your partner is to adoption.

My husband wasn't interested in adoption whereas I was (and still am regardless of whether I have my own) but for it to work we'd have to be in agreement. So the only way I was going to be a mum was to have my own.

My third pregnancy was successful and gave us our son and I'm currently expecting our second kid. This pregnancy is pregnancy number 10.

I could have stopped at one child but I wanted two children as did my husband and, when he was old enough to articulate it, so did my son, if possible, so we just kept trying.

You do find an inner strength but the fear never goes away. This pregnancy has been difficult to relax into in a way I never had problems with during my son's pregnancy. In early pregnancy I used to worry about loosing this baby during childbirth, dying myself has never been a concern :/

[11cort29]

with my last pregnancy I was told that if I carried to full term there was risk to my own life. that is why it is a concern for me.