Comments | misera: WE ARE ALL LYING HERE: Loneliness, or Not Knowing How to Connect with Other People as an Adult

misera

WE ARE ALL LYING HERE: Loneliness, or Not Knowing How to Connect with Other People as an Adult

Feb 02, 2016 11:46

I like being alone, but I hate being lonely. Loneliness usually creeps up on me when I'm in a group of people, and rarely (never?) when I'm fully alone. Loneliness comes a-creepin' when I'm there in a group and there are no, or few, bridges to cross between me and those around me. I blame myself for this. It's my job, if I wish to stave off the ( Read more... )

failing, connecting, we are all lying here, growing up sucks, letter writing, loser, loneliness

Comments 5

anonymousblack February 5 2016, 06:15:06 UTC

yeah, same deal. i just turned 40. there are more of us, turns out. we're just tricky to find.

i think we should write letters to each other as our ghost friends. maybe do a collaborative visual journal. i have many rubber stamps to show you.

misera February 5 2016, 20:19:50 UTC

Yes, please. I'm not very visual, but I am willing to try! Did you want to start, or me? Email me your address, please? (peel_the_moon@hotmail.com).

anonymousblack February 5 2016, 20:30:03 UTC

gah, do not read the prior comment because i am silly. my brain is fried.

misera February 5 2016, 20:34:08 UTC

Too late, I had, but I wanted to say thank you for sending the Dylan anthology my way. I saw it and immediately got too nervous to respond but I'll respond now/here. I will try to write a poem of some sort for it, but...the thought of putting what he means to me into words--into coherent words--seems impossible!

grateful _ex_cowboy February 8 2016, 23:37:07 UTC

i've been reading but also writing down my own entries and haven't commented enough. nor will this be enough but; the two times i've been in group therapy, the most common refrain was "how do i make friends as an adult?"

and i have feelings about this and i'll probably write about it but i'd really recommend Cacioppo's book 'Loneliness'. it does say that solitude has it's advantages but it also implores the necessity of connection. which wouldn't seem to help but the element that does is how he explains the biological / cognitive aspects of loneliness as a motivator rather than a negative holding state that really resonated with me.