you didn't know?
1. She drives: a classic car, a VW beetle, a Mini Cooper, or a Vespa scooter.
2. She can talk for more than ten minutes about: obscure pop culture.
3. She begins her sentences with: ≥Itπs like that Simpsons episode . . .≤
4. Sheπd never, ever: drive a mini-van.
5. She owns any of the following: TiVo, a mini-DV camera, an iPod, a pottery wheel, a serger, or a lava lamp.
Where Youπll Find Her
You wonπt see this girl at the mall. Look for her in art galleries, hanging out in dive bars, or at an independent movie theaterπs midnight showing of Army of Darkness. She might also be spotted DJing at an after-hours party, playing miniature golf, or singing karaoke.
How to Spot Her
Indie Girls are only native to the urban jungle. If you encounter one in the country, sheπs probably lost. Or visiting family, which, for an Indie Girl, is roughly the same thing. This woman does not get dressed--she dons a costume. Look for ironic thrift store clothing, which includes vintage T-shirts that say things like, ≥Virginia is for lovers.≤ You may also see any of the following: body piercings and/or tattoos, checkerboard Vans, ≥bedhead≤ (hair that sort of sticks up all over), nerdy horn-rimmed glasses, black jelly ≥Madonna≤ bracelets from the å80s, a bike messenger bag, Pumas.
Famous Indie Girls
Parker Posey, Janeane Garofalo, Madonna (an Athletic/Indie hybrid), Winona Ryder, Drew Barrymore, Bjork, Liza Minelli in Cabaret, Melanie Griffith in Something Wild, Ruth Gordon in Harold and Maude, Carrie Bradshaw on Sex & the City.
Your Place
Hopefully you live in a funky, artsy, underground part of town. In New York City, that would be the Meat Packing District or Williamsburg in Brooklyn; in San Francisco, the Mission or Bernal Heights; in LA, Echo Park or Silverlake. You say you live in the suburbs? Move. Just kidding. How about a kitschy trailer park? An artistπs loft or converted theater would also work. Hang a Frank Kozik poster or leave an unfinished painting on an easel. Prominently display books by Dave Eggers, Haruki Murakami, Douglas Coupland, and Jacqueline Susann. Other stuff Indie Girls love: å70s shag carpeting, å50s furniture, lawn ornaments (gnomes and pink flamingos), and velvet Elvis paintings.
The Conversation
Quote David Sedaris. Even better, quote David Sedarisπs sister, Amy, on her old TV show, Strangers with Candy. You say you donπt know it? Time to do some research; you can get it on DVD. Be prepared for discussions on obscure foreign cinema, the underground art scene, or alternative music. If you donπt know anything about these things, you can escape by talking about your own artistic pursuits. Say things like, ≥I donπt follow the art scene. I prefer to remain a tabula rasa.≤
The Coffee Table
Go with an alternative or literary ≥zine≤ (FOUND or Dave Eggersπs McSweeneyπs). Any magazine having to do with art (Art Forum), music (Spin, Rolling Stone), film (Premiere, Film Threat), literature (the New York Times Book Review or Poets and Writers), or entertainment (Entertainment Weekly) will also work. A copy of the National Enquirer shows your dark sense of humor.
The Music
ELO and Kiss wonπt cut it with the Uptown Girl, but theyπll work great here, along with Beck, Tom Waits, Elvis Costello, Leonard Cohen, Badly Drawn Boy, and Yo La Tengo. You canπt go wrong with classic alternative rock bands such as the Pixies, Radiohead, or Velvet Underground. You can also choose from any of the following genres: alternative country (Whiskeytown, Wilco, the Old 97πs); retro country (Buck Owens, George Jones); electronica (Massive Attack, the Chemical Brothers); kitschy easy listening (Tom Jones, Burt Bacharach, Neil Diamond, the Carpenters); lounge and space-age pop (Esquivel, Herb Alpert); punk (Dead Kennedys, Ramones, Sex Pistols); retro swing (Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Squirrel Nut Zippers); Latin (Sergio Mendes, Manu Chao); or sound tracks (Austin Powers, Swingers, The Royal Tenenbaums, Pulp Fiction). Warning: Avoid Top 40, or anything mainstream, at all costs. The Indie Girl will give you an automatic F for playing the Backstreet Boys. Remember, the more obscure and eclectic, the better. This is an important category for this girl, so you might want to spend some time on the Web site www.allmusic.com and do your homework.
The Drinks
Artsy, kitschy, interesting drinks. Dirty Martys (martinis), Harvey Wallbangers, vodka gimlets. If you really want to wow the Indie Girl, serve drinks that have been featured in classic films, such as a zombie (Breakfast at Tiffanyπs) or a rusty nail (The Lost Weekend). As for wines, go with a bold, big red, like a cabernet, Chianti, zinfandel, Syrah/Shiraz, or a Spanish Rioja. (Merlots are tolerated by the Indie Girl, and she may drink white wines, but she typically prefers wine with some character. Remember--mediocrity is the bane of her existence!) The Indie Girl generally appreciates beer--but weπre not talking Coors Light, folks. Go with anything microbrewed, Heffeweissen (with lemon wedge), or Guinness. Also: sake and single malt Scotch whisky.
The Shoes
Tennis shoes by Adidas, Puma, Ben Sherman, Converse, or Diesel. Skateboarding shoes by Vision Streetwear or Vans. Doc Martens are always good, as are bowling shoes (especially vintage), or old-style å80s Creepers. While the Uptown Girl and the Career Girl will turn up their noses at a pair of flip-flops, the Indie Girl will dig åem. Hereπs what not to wear: anything with a tassel. Docksiders or cross trainers will get you flushed, pronto. Like everything else with the Indie Girl, get out of the mainstream and show a little style.
The Flowers
Gerber daisies in a bouquet of bright colors--hot pink, blazing orange, and purple.