The Center of It All
Title: The Center of It All
Author: Miss Meh
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Rating: pg-13 for accidental viewing of sexual happenings
Warnings: past Dean/Lisa, Cas introspection
Spoilers: takes place after season 5, season 6 doesn't happen
Word Count: 1919
Status: Complete
Sequel to: That Knowing Look
Summary: And then, Dean was kissing him again and Castiel stopped thinking entirely.
A/N: This is a sequel to my oneshot, “That Knowing Look”. This one isn’t as funny as the last one was, but it’s also from Cas’s POV so what do you expect? I think I might do more oneshots connected with these two, so I’ll keep you guys posted on that. Thank you to my wonderful, magnificent, sarcastic beta, Delu.
Castiel was exhausted. Being ‘Heaven’s new sheriff’ (as Dean had called him) was extremely taxing. As such, it had been at least a month since the last time he had seen Dean and Castiel was quite anxious to do so. He hadn’t been able to acknowledge this feeling at first, but now it was as though he almost had to. He needed to see Dean.
When he finally managed to find some time to get down to earth, he realized that he had failed to take into account where Dean would be and, more importantly, who Dean would be with. And so, it was to his great horror that the angel found himself staring at the man’s naked backside as Dean drove himself into a woman’s body, her legs wrapped securely around his hips. Neither one saw him and Castiel made sure to fly away before either of them had a chance to notice his intrusion.
Castiel ended up sitting in an empty park nearly an hour later, thinking on what he had just witnessed. True, the angel had seen hundreds, perhaps thousands of humans fornicating over the course of his existence. It had never bothered him before and Castiel could think of no reason why it should bother him now.
It must be because of Dean. If it had been any other human, even ones that he knew and could call friends, such as Sam and Bobby, it would not have fazed him in the slightest. But the fact of the matter was that it hadn’t been any other human. It had been Dean, and that… unsettled him.
He thought about Dean and about what Dean meant to him. Castiel found that he felt things for the human that he shouldn’t have been able to feel and this confused him. As an angel, he should be immune to something so human. He remembered all of the moments he had spent with the Winchester and recalled all of the decisions he had made over the past two years. He realized with almost blinding clarity that the human had been the center of it all.
Castiel was not one to act rashly. In fact, he could count on one hand the number of times he had acted without thought to the consequences and each and every one of those actions had in some form related to Dean Winchester.
Dean Winchester, Castiel thought, lips twitching up into the angel’s version of a smile. There weren’t words that could completely describe what Dean Winchester was. He was stubborn. He was arrogant. He was rash. Dean Winchester could cover the full spectrum of the seven deadly sins in the course of a single day. He had the mouth of a sailor, and his eating habits were quite disgusting. At the same time, however, Dean’s virtuous traits far outweighed his unscrupulous ones. Dean saved people. He fought to protect those that could not protect themselves.
The most important thing Castiel knew about Dean Winchester was that he was more selfless than any human the angel had ever seen. If you were lucky enough to be counted on the short list of people Dean considered family, he would give anything-even his soul-to protect you.
Castiel frowned at this thought. Was the woman counted on that list? For some reason, the idea of Dean giving up his soul for someone other than Sam or Bobby sent a hot streak of unfamiliar emotion coursing through him. Castiel recalled what he knew about the woman, the things that he had seen when he had done reconnaissance for Zachariah in the years leading up to Dean’s descent into Hell. Castiel had seen it the first time Lisa Braeden had come into Dean Winchester’s life and then, he had watched again years later as Dean struggled with the realization that her son, Ben, might be his. At the time, Castiel had had no reaction to the woman’s brief stays in the life of his charge, but now…
Suppose this “Lisa”-he scowled to himself when he thought the name-proved to be just as good at finding trouble as most of the Winchesters’ acquaintances ended up being. If she ended up getting herself killed, Castiel knew that Dean would somehow find a way to blame himself. Depending on the circumstances, the angel could see Dean even going so far as to make another deal in order to ensure that the woman’s little boy didn’t have to grow up without a mother like the Winchester boys had.
Castiel mentally chastised himself. Nothing like that was going to happen. Even if the man did manage to somehow find a demon to barter with, Castiel’s brand on Dean Winchester’s soul should prove sufficient to keep most of the unholy ones from taking the bait. If all else failed, well, the angel had pulled Dean’s soul out of Hell once; there was no reason he couldn’t do so again.
He felt a tap on his knee and lifted his head. A little girl was standing in front of him, a wet lollipop clutched in one sticky hand and a second, wrapped one extended toward him in the other. There was something oddly familiar about her, but Castiel couldn’t put his finger on what it was. “Hello, mister. Want some candy?”
When Castiel didn’t respond, her arm lowered and her bottom lip started trembling. For a moment he was unable to think of anything to say, but then he simply held out his hand and allowed the little girl to place the sweet in his palm. “Thank you,” he said quietly. Seeing that she wouldn’t be satisfied if he didn’t at least try it, he unwrapped the lollipop and stuck it in his mouth.
She gave him an incandescent smile and hopped up onto the bench next to him. “My name’s Gabrielle. Whatya doin’ sitting out here looking all mopey, mister?” she asked.
He stared at her cautiously for a second. Castiel did not want to scare the child by disappearing and Dean had always told him that it was rude to simply stare at someone without speaking, so he hesitantly answered her question. “I have a friend who makes me feel unlike how I usually feel. I have been trying to figure out what it means.”
Gabrielle laughed. “Well, that’s an easy one, mister. You’ve got a crush,” she told him exuberantly.
Castiel blinked in confusion and tilted his head to the side. “A crush?”
The little girl nodded. “Sure. It means you’re in love,” she said, drawing out the word into many syllables.
Castiel thought about this. Could it be possible? Was he ‘in love’ with Dean as the little girl said? He shook his head. Angels don’t love in the same sense of the word as humans do. Castiel didn’t believe that they were capable of it. But still… What if she was right? He had been human, or at least as close to human as a nearly fallen angel could get. What if some of those human emotions had carried over when he had been restored?
He heard the little girl’s teeth crunch on the last of her lollipop at the same time he heard the sirens. Gabrielle hopped down off the bench and started moving away from him, her pink dress and brown ponytail blowing in the wind. She turned back to him briefly as Castiel saw the police car pull up on the street to one side of the park. The little girl winked at him, her amber eyes twinkling, and said, “See ya later, Cas.” Then, with a snap of her fingers, she was gone, taking her lollipops with her.
Castiel heard an echo of laughter and leapt to his feet in the hopes of following her, but before he could, a police officer hurried up to him. “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” The angel stared at him blankly for a moment and then looked behind the man. Several young mothers were clutching their children and looking at him warily. Castiel didn’t understand what was going on, but he needed to return to Heaven in any case. Since he had a feeling that he would be unable to catch up to Gabrielle-Gabriel, he corrected himself, Castiel did not hurry as he turned and made his way around the corner-and out of eyeshot of the humans-before spreading his wings and heading back to Heaven.
...........................................................................................................
When Castiel had gone to visit Dean a few months later, he had been gratified to find that Dean was no longer living with Lisa. Instead, he was camped out in another one of those run-down motel rooms that the Winchester brothers seemed to find so appealing. Although Sam wasn’t around at the moment, Castiel was sure that they were together again. The evidence was spread across the table in the form of a laptop and several thick research texts that the angel knew Dean wouldn’t be caught dead lugging around, let alone reading.
Castiel had been very disappointed to find that Dean seemed to be so caught up in his thoughts-Was he thinking about Lisa? Castiel wondered worriedly-that he didn’t even realize that the angel was even in the room. When Castiel finally managed to get the man’s attention, he struggled to force his face into its usual emotionless expression and tilted his head to the side in question.
Dean seemed to come to some decision and he let out a little huff of air as he placed his hands on his knees and pushed himself up from his position on the edge of the bed. The man moved toward Castiel purposefully and drawled out, “Cas.” The angel felt his body freeze in place and his breath stop in his lungs as Dean smoothly came to a halt mere inches from Castiel. Dean, the man who had complained time and again about Castiel’s invasion of his own personal space was now doing the same to the angel.
When Dean leaned toward him and covered Castiel’s mouth with his own, the angel didn’t know what to do. This was Dean, the man that he had finally admitted-if only to himself-that he was in love with. Castiel really wanted to kiss him back, but he didn’t know how. Dean pulled away and simply looked at him. The angel could see that Dean’s pupils were dilated and his blood was pounding hard and fast underneath his skin. Castiel could feel his own body reacting in much the same way and it was on instinct alone that he flicked his tongue out across his bottom lip to taste the remnants of Dean that might linger there.
Castiel tried to gather his wits and think about what he was supposed to do, but his body held too much sway over his mind at that moment. His head fell back and his lips parted. And then, Dean was kissing him again and Castiel stopped thinking entirely.
A/N: So what do you guys think about a sequel from Gabriel's POV?