Fic: Tears Of My Heart [Part One]
Author: miss_peg
Artist: tromana
Link To Art: Here.
Word count: 27206
Rating: R/NC-17
Warnings: Lots of swearing and a bit of violence.
Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...ah well.
Summary: When Cook gets out of prison having served time for absconding, he moves in with Naomi, Emily and Gina. After the death of his mother, Cook is faced with questions about his past. With Naomi's help, they go on an emotional journey which results in a revelation that could change both of their lives.
Notes: I was so excited to take part in the skins_bigbang and I am so glad that I finally took the time to write this story. I'd had it in my head for over a year and began it once, before realising that it needed more time than I was able to give it. I'm so proud of finally finishing it.
A massive thank you to tromana, who has literally been my everything throughout this whole process. My beta (you makes me a better writer), my cheerleader, my ideas bouncer, without you I don't think I'd have got through. Nor would I have the amazing art that you made for me. It's been a pleasure to do all of that for you too, in return. I can't wait for us to 'swap' art.
You should all check out her awesome skins_bigbang, which was her first proper Skins fic, not that you could possibly tell. Tick Tock.
Tears of My Heart
Part One
The automatic door swung open in front of him and before he could even think about what was happening, he found himself stood on a path with the taste of freedom eating up his insides. He walked along the concrete slabs, noticing the weeds growing up and out of the gaps. Tiny red spider-like insects crawled across the surface like prisoners in the yard, who were watched from high above, no real purpose to their actions, just the occasional pint of blood spilled.
He stopped by the gate and waited for it to open. The metal frame raised high above the ground, protected by CCTV and various forms of spikes and barbed wire. It even looked like a prison. From the inside it was different and at times he forgot he was trapped there. It became home, a weird sort of home where you got a black eye once in a while. His hair was a little longer than it had been when he went in, curled up at the edges and almost covering his ears. There was something different about his eyes; duller, less life and a little bit lost.
Naomi watched from the car park. The muscular body of her best friend was now larger and more filled out than before, he’d grown. She stood up straight, stopped relying on the car for support and began to walk slowly across the concrete ground beneath her feet. Under any other circumstance she would probably have slapped him, or not turned up at all, but she owed him.
‘Naomikins,’ he growled, his voice a tone deeper and more robust than before. He sounded more mature too, wise beyond his years. That’s what prison probably did to people, Naomi noted, wrapping her arms around him.
‘It’s so good to see you, Cook.’
‘James.’
‘What?’
‘New start.’
The drive back to the house was silent. Cook stared out of the window, watching the world pass by quickly, he didn’t care. He could watch the world at any speed now; fast, slow, supersonic if he really wished. As time progressed, he became giddier and giddier. His excitement was growing as the prospect of freedom grew more tangible by the second.He’d almost forgotten what the outside world looked like; how green the leaves were on the trees, how a tobacco filled car smelled and how bright the sun could be when it shone down upon a windscreen.
‘You sure she doesn’t mind?’
‘’Course not,’ Naomi muttered, focusing her attention on the road ahead.
‘Top bird is Gina.’
When they came to a stop outside an end-terrace, Cook didn’t move. He remembered the last time he was there; climbing out the bathroom window and running off down the side streets. It felt like a lifetime ago. Naomi got out first and opened his door. He stared at her. Gestures were something he hadn’t witnessed for months. No need for them in prison, who wanted to be kind to each other anyway? The confusion on his face worried Naomi. She didn’t know what to expect. Would he be the same person he was before? She doubted that. She held the door and tilted her head at him with assurance.
‘Thanks, Blondie.’
They walked side by side up to the gate, Naomi walked in ahead with his bag in her hand. He let her carry it, not really sure what else to do. He’d spent months being told how to act, where to go and now he didn’t know how to be any different.
‘Welcome back, Cook,’ a husky voice greeted him from the doorway; he looked towards her, his eyes sparkling a little. An exchanged glance with Naomi told her that she was to inform them of his name change; that he didn’t really want to repeat himself. She nodded her agreement.
‘Emilio,’ he wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin against her shoulder. Prison taught him to expect nothing; seeing Naomi, Emily and even Gina there smiling at him broke through his expectations and left him speechless. He hugged them all in turn, ending once again on Naomi.
‘Your room’s at the top of the stairs on the left,’ Gina informed him. ‘There’re some towels on the bed if you want to grab a shower.’
Cook was taken aback, surprised by the level of support he was receiving for simply getting out of prison. Not even his birthdays had been celebrated with that level of care and attention. Emily and Naomi knew what he’d done; he didn’t think Gina did though. He smiled at them all, picked up his small bag and carried it towards the stairs. He turned, and nodded at them all.
‘Thanks.’
xxx
Being driven by guilt was a bad thing according to Emily. Naomi wasn’t sure. She lay awake considering her decision and the ramifications. Cook needed someone; his mum had given up on him and no one had been able to get hold of her, even Freddie had disappeared without a trace over a year ago. They were the only people Cook had left. There was no one else he could rely on. She owed him. Not just a year’s prison sentence, but her future. She knew his looked bleak now; his criminal record would make it hard for him to get a job. Whereas she’d spent a year with Emily, travelling around India, volunteering at a soup kitchen and working two crappy jobs in preparation for the start of uni.
'Go to sleep,' Emily moaned as she turned over for what must have been the fifteenth time. Naomi wrapped her arms around her and snuggled against her side.
An hour later and she still hadn’t slept. Emily was dozing beside her, her heavy breathing a continuous drone that made her smile. She hated being unable to sleep, more so when Emily wasn’t awake too. When she was, it didn’t matter.
'Go for a walk,' Emily suggested in a sleepy tone.
Naomi climbed out of bed and pulled on some clothes. She didn’t really want to walk, but the hours spent awake left her nicotine deprived and she hated keeping Emily from her sleep. She carried a packet of cigarettes out into the garden where she perched on an upturned plant pot and lit up.
'Giv's a fag.'
Out of the shadows Cook appeared, one half of his face lit up by the moon making him appear more frightening. If she’d met him for the first time in that very same situation she'd probably have called the police, after running inside and locking the door. Not only did he make her jump out of her skin, but he looked like a criminal too. He wore the grey jumper and sweat pants he’d left the prison wearing. He probably didn’t own very many clothes, she considered.
'Don’t fucking scare me,' she snapped, throwing a cigarette on the floor at his feet.
'Cheers.'
'What you gonna do now?' she asked, a question she'd wanted an answer to the moment he got out. She wanted him to have a plan, a way of getting out of his situation as soon as possible. The thought was a selfish one, but she felt guilty. She had done from the beginning when he told her of his plan. What option did she have but to accept? Plenty. She knew that now. She could have spoken to her mum, explained what had happened and asked for her help; or the counsellor at college. Anything other than letting Cook take the blame.
'I did it for you, Blondie,' he muttered, lighting up the cigarette and taking a deep tobacco filled breath. 'I was already in trouble. The way I see it, I did time for the both of us and you, you get to have a life like you deserve.'
'But it was my fault. I asked you to get me the drugs. I sold them to her. It’s my fault she died.'
'And I accepted. Prison ain’t a place for people like you Naomikins! It's 'ard. You 'ave to do things you regret, things that out 'ere would get you put inside.'
'I deserved it.'
'Nah, you di'nt deserve it and neither did Ems or Gina. Think about them. I ain’t got a family, no one to disappoint. So what's it matter?'
'But.'
'No more Naomi. You’re my best friend. Friends help each other out. Know what I mean?'
When she finished smoking, she stubbed out the cigarette and tossed it onto a pile of others. She made a note to clean it up more often, especially with Cook around. She didn’t go back inside. She hadn’t had an answer to her question and though she didn’t want to repeat herself, she wasn’t ready to give up on him just yet.
‘There’s something I’ve gotta do,’ he said, perching on a wall. ‘My mum died while I was inside.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry Co, James.’
‘Nah, don’t be, bitch had it coming. She weren’t even my mum, not really,’ he reached into his pocket. ‘Got a letter sent to me, they found it in her stuff from some woman called Reggie, says she’s my real mum.’
‘Shit, Cook,’ Naomi gasped, standing up and taking the crumpled envelope that he held out for her. ‘I mean, James.’
The envelope contained a handwritten letter in carefully scribed text, like something written for a calligraphy lesson at school, not the woman who had taken in her son. She unfolded the sheet of paper slowly, curious, yet daunted by the words within. The sides of the page were worn as though held many times before. Naomi glanced at Cook, who watched her as she looked back down and read the letter.
‘Please bring my boy back to me, Reggie,’ she concluded, her previously steady hands now shaking. ‘Christ, James, what are going to do?’
‘Dunno babe, think I gotta find out who Reggie is. Problem is, where do I start?’
Naomi folded the letter back up and returned it to its envelope, which she pushed back into Cook’s hands. How could she help him? She didn’t know how to find missing people, least of all stray parents you didn’t even know existed.
‘I understand,’ he nodded, carelessly shoving the envelope back into his pocket.
‘I want to,’ she said, letting out a sigh. ‘I don’t know what good I’ll be.’
‘But you’ll help?’ she nodded. ‘That’s all I want, help.’
She lit up another cigarette, in dire need of something to distract her from the mix of guilt and shock. She tossed another to Cook who smoked it quickly, then handed him the rest of her packet. She’d buy some more in the morning. Then she left him sat out there and returned to her room. The lights were still turned off but she could make out Emily's silhouette, sitting up in the bed.
'What's wrong?' Emily asked into the darkness.
What isn’t wrong? Naomi wanted to say, but when she opened her mouth she realised how terrible it sounded. How hurt Emily would be if she said it. Everything wasn’t wrong and she did believe that, underneath everything.
'I’m fine.'
Despite the dark, Naomi could tell Emily was staring at her with disapproval. She'd tried it many times; lying to her about small things, keeping her feelings to herself. Every time Emily had caught her out as though she knew, without asking, without tripping her up. She considered the possibility that Emily was a superhero who could read thoughts, despite knowing it was mostly down to the tone of her own voice.
'Really, Emily, I’m okay. I just have a few Cook issues.'
'Trying to sleep with you already?' Emily joked.
Naomi climbed into the bed beside her and wrapped her arms around Emily's waist. She kissed her cheek, her neck, distracting her from everything she didn’t want to think about.
'The only person I want to sleep with here is you.'
'Good.'
The light touch of Emily's fingers, tracing across her now bare shoulders, left a shiver down her spine. Emily had a way of awakening her body with her hands, setting her soul on fire as she brushed patterns onto her skin with the tips of her fingers. Naomi returned the favour in kisses along her collar bone and whispered words portraying how much she not only loved Emily but wanted her and needed her too. Under her touch, Naomi's back arched and her hands grasped the bed sheets around her, reacting to Emily's touch as she let out muffled screams for only Emily to hear. After returning the favour she found her mind erased, everything she’d worried about floated off into oblivion with her previous self and in Emily's arms she fell into a deep slumber.
xxx
As if like clockwork, Naomi awoke in the small hours of the morning, in dying need of a cigarette. She uncurled Emily’s arms from around her body and kissed her softly on the cheek before slipping into some clothes and walking downstairs. It had happened every night at the same time since Cook came to stay and Naomi could do nothing but comply. She recovered her packet of cigarettes from the kitchen drawer and lit one up the moment the back door had been opened.
‘Evening Blondie,’ Cook greeted her from the shadows. After the first night he’d scared her just once more before she became accustomed to him lurking. The moon had shifted in that time and that night, it shone down from above, leaving most of Cook’s face in darkness.
‘Is this your fault?’ she moaned, stretching and yawning. ‘I don’t normally smoke at night.’
‘Nothing to do with me.’
They got their nicotine fix in near silence; Naomi sat on her upturned plant pot whilst Cook stood a distance away. There wasn’t a need for words, never had been really; until Naomi found herself with questions on her mind.
‘Can’t sleep?’
‘Nah, it’s too quiet.’
She frowned, listening carefully to the noises around them. She could hear a car driving in the distance, a neighbour a few doors down playing music and the soft droning of the electricity sub-station at the end of the road. She wouldn’t have called it too quiet.
‘Never heard of someone not being able to sleep because of that.’
‘You ain’t been inside babe,’ Cook justified, running a hand through the back of his hair. She couldn’t believe how long it was or how much it suited him curled at the ends, ‘Can’t get any peace in there. Out here, it’s too peaceful. Does my head in.’
The peace was disrupted by a loud clatter coming from the far end of the patio. Cook jumped, twisted round quickly and looked into the darkness. Fear had become apparent in the way he held himself bigger, like an animal warding off a predator. Naomi bit her lip to stop herself from laughing, but she couldn’t help it.
‘What’s so funny?’
‘You, getting scared by mum’s pet.’
He moved across the patio towards a small enclosure, squinting in the dark to make out the small animal roaming around and nibbling at the contents of its upturned food bowl. Naomi followed him and they watched it sniffing around, cloaked in darkness.
'Stupid fucking rodent scared the shit out of me.'
'Don’t let Gina hear you say that.'
'What the fuck is it anyway? A rat?'
'Guinea pig.'
She stubbed out her cigarette, tossed it aside and opened the door to the run. Scooping up the black and honey coloured creature into her arms she tried to remember a time she had been active at night; as far as she knew she slept like the rest of them. In her arms, Wanda stayed whilst she stroked her soft fur. In her early years she’d had a cat that ran away before she started school, she’d never had the desire to own a hamster or goldfish like everyone else. But as she ran a hand over Wanda’s back, she remembered what she liked about the cat, the repeated action leaving her active mind calm.
'What would anyone want with a guinea pig?'
Naomi let out a small laugh and rolled her eyes. 'When mum and Kieran split up she decided she was finished with men. She tried to go for women instead but I wouldn’t let her, so we compromised on a guinea pig named Wanda. It's her companion.'
'Thought that were dogs.'
'Mum hates walking, Wanda can get as much exercise as she likes out here and we're not cleaning dog hairs out of everything we own.'
Cook passed her a second cigarette, which she declined. She was trying to cut back, or had been until Cook returned. Social smoking was her downfall and she knew she could rarely pass up a chance of a free cigarette. Instead she made her excuses, placed the animal back in its hutch and disappeared inside before she could change her mind. Emily was still sleeping when she climbed back into bed, until her nose began twitching and she became restless in her sleep.
‘Where’ve you been?’
‘Just getting some fresh air,’ Naomi assured her, wrapping her arms back around her body and slipping down under the covers.
‘You’re cold.’
‘I know, go to sleep.’
Emily sunk back into her arms; her breath becoming deep and shallow in an instant. Naomi stroked red hair back from Emily’s closed eyes and pushed her face against her neck. The thing she loved the most about her late night appointments with Cook was not the cigarettes, or the company, it was returning to Emily afterwards.
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
[ Parts Six - Ten]
Artist: tromana
Link To Art: Here.
Word count: 27206
Rating: R/NC-17
Warnings: Lots of swearing and a bit of violence.
Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...ah well.
Summary: When Cook gets out of prison having served time for absconding, he moves in with Naomi, Emily and Gina. After the death of his mother, Cook is faced with questions about his past. With Naomi's help, they go on an emotional journey which results in a revelation that could change both of their lives.
Notes: I was so excited to take part in the skins_bigbang and I am so glad that I finally took the time to write this story. I'd had it in my head for over a year and began it once, before realising that it needed more time than I was able to give it. I'm so proud of finally finishing it.
A massive thank you to tromana, who has literally been my everything throughout this whole process. My beta (you makes me a better writer), my cheerleader, my ideas bouncer, without you I don't think I'd have got through. Nor would I have the amazing art that you made for me. It's been a pleasure to do all of that for you too, in return. I can't wait for us to 'swap' art.
You should all check out her awesome skins_bigbang, which was her first proper Skins fic, not that you could possibly tell. Tick Tock.
Tears of My Heart
Part One
The automatic door swung open in front of him and before he could even think about what was happening, he found himself stood on a path with the taste of freedom eating up his insides. He walked along the concrete slabs, noticing the weeds growing up and out of the gaps. Tiny red spider-like insects crawled across the surface like prisoners in the yard, who were watched from high above, no real purpose to their actions, just the occasional pint of blood spilled.
He stopped by the gate and waited for it to open. The metal frame raised high above the ground, protected by CCTV and various forms of spikes and barbed wire. It even looked like a prison. From the inside it was different and at times he forgot he was trapped there. It became home, a weird sort of home where you got a black eye once in a while. His hair was a little longer than it had been when he went in, curled up at the edges and almost covering his ears. There was something different about his eyes; duller, less life and a little bit lost.
Naomi watched from the car park. The muscular body of her best friend was now larger and more filled out than before, he’d grown. She stood up straight, stopped relying on the car for support and began to walk slowly across the concrete ground beneath her feet. Under any other circumstance she would probably have slapped him, or not turned up at all, but she owed him.
‘Naomikins,’ he growled, his voice a tone deeper and more robust than before. He sounded more mature too, wise beyond his years. That’s what prison probably did to people, Naomi noted, wrapping her arms around him.
‘It’s so good to see you, Cook.’
‘James.’
‘What?’
‘New start.’
The drive back to the house was silent. Cook stared out of the window, watching the world pass by quickly, he didn’t care. He could watch the world at any speed now; fast, slow, supersonic if he really wished. As time progressed, he became giddier and giddier. His excitement was growing as the prospect of freedom grew more tangible by the second.He’d almost forgotten what the outside world looked like; how green the leaves were on the trees, how a tobacco filled car smelled and how bright the sun could be when it shone down upon a windscreen.
‘You sure she doesn’t mind?’
‘’Course not,’ Naomi muttered, focusing her attention on the road ahead.
‘Top bird is Gina.’
When they came to a stop outside an end-terrace, Cook didn’t move. He remembered the last time he was there; climbing out the bathroom window and running off down the side streets. It felt like a lifetime ago. Naomi got out first and opened his door. He stared at her. Gestures were something he hadn’t witnessed for months. No need for them in prison, who wanted to be kind to each other anyway? The confusion on his face worried Naomi. She didn’t know what to expect. Would he be the same person he was before? She doubted that. She held the door and tilted her head at him with assurance.
‘Thanks, Blondie.’
They walked side by side up to the gate, Naomi walked in ahead with his bag in her hand. He let her carry it, not really sure what else to do. He’d spent months being told how to act, where to go and now he didn’t know how to be any different.
‘Welcome back, Cook,’ a husky voice greeted him from the doorway; he looked towards her, his eyes sparkling a little. An exchanged glance with Naomi told her that she was to inform them of his name change; that he didn’t really want to repeat himself. She nodded her agreement.
‘Emilio,’ he wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin against her shoulder. Prison taught him to expect nothing; seeing Naomi, Emily and even Gina there smiling at him broke through his expectations and left him speechless. He hugged them all in turn, ending once again on Naomi.
‘Your room’s at the top of the stairs on the left,’ Gina informed him. ‘There’re some towels on the bed if you want to grab a shower.’
Cook was taken aback, surprised by the level of support he was receiving for simply getting out of prison. Not even his birthdays had been celebrated with that level of care and attention. Emily and Naomi knew what he’d done; he didn’t think Gina did though. He smiled at them all, picked up his small bag and carried it towards the stairs. He turned, and nodded at them all.
‘Thanks.’
xxx
Being driven by guilt was a bad thing according to Emily. Naomi wasn’t sure. She lay awake considering her decision and the ramifications. Cook needed someone; his mum had given up on him and no one had been able to get hold of her, even Freddie had disappeared without a trace over a year ago. They were the only people Cook had left. There was no one else he could rely on. She owed him. Not just a year’s prison sentence, but her future. She knew his looked bleak now; his criminal record would make it hard for him to get a job. Whereas she’d spent a year with Emily, travelling around India, volunteering at a soup kitchen and working two crappy jobs in preparation for the start of uni.
'Go to sleep,' Emily moaned as she turned over for what must have been the fifteenth time. Naomi wrapped her arms around her and snuggled against her side.
An hour later and she still hadn’t slept. Emily was dozing beside her, her heavy breathing a continuous drone that made her smile. She hated being unable to sleep, more so when Emily wasn’t awake too. When she was, it didn’t matter.
'Go for a walk,' Emily suggested in a sleepy tone.
Naomi climbed out of bed and pulled on some clothes. She didn’t really want to walk, but the hours spent awake left her nicotine deprived and she hated keeping Emily from her sleep. She carried a packet of cigarettes out into the garden where she perched on an upturned plant pot and lit up.
'Giv's a fag.'
Out of the shadows Cook appeared, one half of his face lit up by the moon making him appear more frightening. If she’d met him for the first time in that very same situation she'd probably have called the police, after running inside and locking the door. Not only did he make her jump out of her skin, but he looked like a criminal too. He wore the grey jumper and sweat pants he’d left the prison wearing. He probably didn’t own very many clothes, she considered.
'Don’t fucking scare me,' she snapped, throwing a cigarette on the floor at his feet.
'Cheers.'
'What you gonna do now?' she asked, a question she'd wanted an answer to the moment he got out. She wanted him to have a plan, a way of getting out of his situation as soon as possible. The thought was a selfish one, but she felt guilty. She had done from the beginning when he told her of his plan. What option did she have but to accept? Plenty. She knew that now. She could have spoken to her mum, explained what had happened and asked for her help; or the counsellor at college. Anything other than letting Cook take the blame.
'I did it for you, Blondie,' he muttered, lighting up the cigarette and taking a deep tobacco filled breath. 'I was already in trouble. The way I see it, I did time for the both of us and you, you get to have a life like you deserve.'
'But it was my fault. I asked you to get me the drugs. I sold them to her. It’s my fault she died.'
'And I accepted. Prison ain’t a place for people like you Naomikins! It's 'ard. You 'ave to do things you regret, things that out 'ere would get you put inside.'
'I deserved it.'
'Nah, you di'nt deserve it and neither did Ems or Gina. Think about them. I ain’t got a family, no one to disappoint. So what's it matter?'
'But.'
'No more Naomi. You’re my best friend. Friends help each other out. Know what I mean?'
When she finished smoking, she stubbed out the cigarette and tossed it onto a pile of others. She made a note to clean it up more often, especially with Cook around. She didn’t go back inside. She hadn’t had an answer to her question and though she didn’t want to repeat herself, she wasn’t ready to give up on him just yet.
‘There’s something I’ve gotta do,’ he said, perching on a wall. ‘My mum died while I was inside.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry Co, James.’
‘Nah, don’t be, bitch had it coming. She weren’t even my mum, not really,’ he reached into his pocket. ‘Got a letter sent to me, they found it in her stuff from some woman called Reggie, says she’s my real mum.’
‘Shit, Cook,’ Naomi gasped, standing up and taking the crumpled envelope that he held out for her. ‘I mean, James.’
The envelope contained a handwritten letter in carefully scribed text, like something written for a calligraphy lesson at school, not the woman who had taken in her son. She unfolded the sheet of paper slowly, curious, yet daunted by the words within. The sides of the page were worn as though held many times before. Naomi glanced at Cook, who watched her as she looked back down and read the letter.
‘Please bring my boy back to me, Reggie,’ she concluded, her previously steady hands now shaking. ‘Christ, James, what are going to do?’
‘Dunno babe, think I gotta find out who Reggie is. Problem is, where do I start?’
Naomi folded the letter back up and returned it to its envelope, which she pushed back into Cook’s hands. How could she help him? She didn’t know how to find missing people, least of all stray parents you didn’t even know existed.
‘I understand,’ he nodded, carelessly shoving the envelope back into his pocket.
‘I want to,’ she said, letting out a sigh. ‘I don’t know what good I’ll be.’
‘But you’ll help?’ she nodded. ‘That’s all I want, help.’
She lit up another cigarette, in dire need of something to distract her from the mix of guilt and shock. She tossed another to Cook who smoked it quickly, then handed him the rest of her packet. She’d buy some more in the morning. Then she left him sat out there and returned to her room. The lights were still turned off but she could make out Emily's silhouette, sitting up in the bed.
'What's wrong?' Emily asked into the darkness.
What isn’t wrong? Naomi wanted to say, but when she opened her mouth she realised how terrible it sounded. How hurt Emily would be if she said it. Everything wasn’t wrong and she did believe that, underneath everything.
'I’m fine.'
Despite the dark, Naomi could tell Emily was staring at her with disapproval. She'd tried it many times; lying to her about small things, keeping her feelings to herself. Every time Emily had caught her out as though she knew, without asking, without tripping her up. She considered the possibility that Emily was a superhero who could read thoughts, despite knowing it was mostly down to the tone of her own voice.
'Really, Emily, I’m okay. I just have a few Cook issues.'
'Trying to sleep with you already?' Emily joked.
Naomi climbed into the bed beside her and wrapped her arms around Emily's waist. She kissed her cheek, her neck, distracting her from everything she didn’t want to think about.
'The only person I want to sleep with here is you.'
'Good.'
The light touch of Emily's fingers, tracing across her now bare shoulders, left a shiver down her spine. Emily had a way of awakening her body with her hands, setting her soul on fire as she brushed patterns onto her skin with the tips of her fingers. Naomi returned the favour in kisses along her collar bone and whispered words portraying how much she not only loved Emily but wanted her and needed her too. Under her touch, Naomi's back arched and her hands grasped the bed sheets around her, reacting to Emily's touch as she let out muffled screams for only Emily to hear. After returning the favour she found her mind erased, everything she’d worried about floated off into oblivion with her previous self and in Emily's arms she fell into a deep slumber.
xxx
As if like clockwork, Naomi awoke in the small hours of the morning, in dying need of a cigarette. She uncurled Emily’s arms from around her body and kissed her softly on the cheek before slipping into some clothes and walking downstairs. It had happened every night at the same time since Cook came to stay and Naomi could do nothing but comply. She recovered her packet of cigarettes from the kitchen drawer and lit one up the moment the back door had been opened.
‘Evening Blondie,’ Cook greeted her from the shadows. After the first night he’d scared her just once more before she became accustomed to him lurking. The moon had shifted in that time and that night, it shone down from above, leaving most of Cook’s face in darkness.
‘Is this your fault?’ she moaned, stretching and yawning. ‘I don’t normally smoke at night.’
‘Nothing to do with me.’
They got their nicotine fix in near silence; Naomi sat on her upturned plant pot whilst Cook stood a distance away. There wasn’t a need for words, never had been really; until Naomi found herself with questions on her mind.
‘Can’t sleep?’
‘Nah, it’s too quiet.’
She frowned, listening carefully to the noises around them. She could hear a car driving in the distance, a neighbour a few doors down playing music and the soft droning of the electricity sub-station at the end of the road. She wouldn’t have called it too quiet.
‘Never heard of someone not being able to sleep because of that.’
‘You ain’t been inside babe,’ Cook justified, running a hand through the back of his hair. She couldn’t believe how long it was or how much it suited him curled at the ends, ‘Can’t get any peace in there. Out here, it’s too peaceful. Does my head in.’
The peace was disrupted by a loud clatter coming from the far end of the patio. Cook jumped, twisted round quickly and looked into the darkness. Fear had become apparent in the way he held himself bigger, like an animal warding off a predator. Naomi bit her lip to stop herself from laughing, but she couldn’t help it.
‘What’s so funny?’
‘You, getting scared by mum’s pet.’
He moved across the patio towards a small enclosure, squinting in the dark to make out the small animal roaming around and nibbling at the contents of its upturned food bowl. Naomi followed him and they watched it sniffing around, cloaked in darkness.
'Stupid fucking rodent scared the shit out of me.'
'Don’t let Gina hear you say that.'
'What the fuck is it anyway? A rat?'
'Guinea pig.'
She stubbed out her cigarette, tossed it aside and opened the door to the run. Scooping up the black and honey coloured creature into her arms she tried to remember a time she had been active at night; as far as she knew she slept like the rest of them. In her arms, Wanda stayed whilst she stroked her soft fur. In her early years she’d had a cat that ran away before she started school, she’d never had the desire to own a hamster or goldfish like everyone else. But as she ran a hand over Wanda’s back, she remembered what she liked about the cat, the repeated action leaving her active mind calm.
'What would anyone want with a guinea pig?'
Naomi let out a small laugh and rolled her eyes. 'When mum and Kieran split up she decided she was finished with men. She tried to go for women instead but I wouldn’t let her, so we compromised on a guinea pig named Wanda. It's her companion.'
'Thought that were dogs.'
'Mum hates walking, Wanda can get as much exercise as she likes out here and we're not cleaning dog hairs out of everything we own.'
Cook passed her a second cigarette, which she declined. She was trying to cut back, or had been until Cook returned. Social smoking was her downfall and she knew she could rarely pass up a chance of a free cigarette. Instead she made her excuses, placed the animal back in its hutch and disappeared inside before she could change her mind. Emily was still sleeping when she climbed back into bed, until her nose began twitching and she became restless in her sleep.
‘Where’ve you been?’
‘Just getting some fresh air,’ Naomi assured her, wrapping her arms back around her body and slipping down under the covers.
‘You’re cold.’
‘I know, go to sleep.’
Emily sunk back into her arms; her breath becoming deep and shallow in an instant. Naomi stroked red hair back from Emily’s closed eyes and pushed her face against her neck. The thing she loved the most about her late night appointments with Cook was not the cigarettes, or the company, it was returning to Emily afterwards.
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
[ Parts Six - Ten]