sometimes you just get to the point
sometimes you get to the point where you just really dont care anymore...
im tired at the moment, i dont know what i feel like doing...my whole body is just exhausted... i feel as though i could go to bed and sleep for years...i know part of that is physically, but well i think some of it is i am mentally exhausted too.
Yesterday was a long day, we had stocktake so that meant a 12 hour day...i finished early today but well i need sleep..
i feel bad, because i know that is what is making me cranky...im overtired and well i dont know about anything anymore...
I almost dont feel i know myself at the moment...
Everything has just changed so much this year...i guess its a year of chaneg...i know everything in life has to change otherwise you wouldnt be living...but well right now i just wish it could be normal...if there is a sense of normal anyway..
The other day i found myself explaining why i decided to apply for the job to a girl i work with...i guess what had me umming and arghhing and talking myself out of it was well by not applying it was staying the same..alkthoughw ell really it wouldnt be the same cause B would be going.. as much as i lvoe being there when she goes it wont be her and i as the bulk part of the team, so i need to jump into this opportunity if it is given...
(N) had been talking to B and was saying she was worried, worried because of everything on my mind i wouldnt ocnsider it and then a couple of m onths down the track i would regret it...
i guess finding out that B is having a baby chanegd things, shes going and it forced me to think about what i want to do and well if i want to stay there...
i see as in i started there as a casual, employed by B actually..i worked myself up to being an Assistant manager of that store, then to become the assistant manager where i am, of a big store..and well now if i wanna stay on this path i need to become a manager...i would love the store im at now but i knwo i wont get it.
Shaun came over today, we printed my invitations...i still have to put the vallum on them..they are a pearly/moonstone colour card and i have purple with swirled white/clean liek someone has skated through it over the top...i think they will look good when they are done..
i was just frustrated and couldnt do it. Shaun has been sick, i think i gave him the cold.. i have had this scratchy throat for days now..i wish it would either hurry up and hit me or just bugger off.. i hate this kinda in between cold feeling.
Evidently i have been tlaking about work a lot lately, i know on here too..but shaun said well maybe i should find a better job, well he ddint actually say that..but he meant a job where i wont have stress and that..
last night i kinda hurt my back with all teh stocktake its sore from reaching and bending so much but also i smacked into a steal pole and hit my spine..its sore to touch it hink i will get a bruise...
i know hes lookign out for me and whats best for me, but well now i feel as though i shouldnt say anythign about work, caus ehe justt hinks im unhappy there while i was just well talkign about how i feel about things... and i said well perhaps i shouldnt apply...i dont know, but now i know i will think abotu what i talk about...
i dont know if this is even making sense..i dont know about anything anymore..
I have noticed shaun and i seem to be sniping at each other a bit...i went to his house on sunday night for dinner, it was the family and well we snipped about silly little things...on monday night his family plus my parents and iw ent out for dinner and well today...sigh and last thursday...
i just dont know, i dont know if its me making him like that or well hes got so much going on, and well besides the fact that he has just lost his mother...
how selfish i am sittin here moaning about my world and look what happened to his world...it was turned upside down in some aspects...
i dont know what to do to make itb etter
I just wish i could make it better and it hurts that i cant, i love him and i want to fix it and i cant..i feel so helpless...
i just feel so lost in myself and i dont know what to
im tired at the moment, i dont know what i feel like doing...my whole body is just exhausted... i feel as though i could go to bed and sleep for years...i know part of that is physically, but well i think some of it is i am mentally exhausted too.
Yesterday was a long day, we had stocktake so that meant a 12 hour day...i finished early today but well i need sleep..
i feel bad, because i know that is what is making me cranky...im overtired and well i dont know about anything anymore...
I almost dont feel i know myself at the moment...
Everything has just changed so much this year...i guess its a year of chaneg...i know everything in life has to change otherwise you wouldnt be living...but well right now i just wish it could be normal...if there is a sense of normal anyway..
The other day i found myself explaining why i decided to apply for the job to a girl i work with...i guess what had me umming and arghhing and talking myself out of it was well by not applying it was staying the same..alkthoughw ell really it wouldnt be the same cause B would be going.. as much as i lvoe being there when she goes it wont be her and i as the bulk part of the team, so i need to jump into this opportunity if it is given...
(N) had been talking to B and was saying she was worried, worried because of everything on my mind i wouldnt ocnsider it and then a couple of m onths down the track i would regret it...
i guess finding out that B is having a baby chanegd things, shes going and it forced me to think about what i want to do and well if i want to stay there...
i see as in i started there as a casual, employed by B actually..i worked myself up to being an Assistant manager of that store, then to become the assistant manager where i am, of a big store..and well now if i wanna stay on this path i need to become a manager...i would love the store im at now but i knwo i wont get it.
Shaun came over today, we printed my invitations...i still have to put the vallum on them..they are a pearly/moonstone colour card and i have purple with swirled white/clean liek someone has skated through it over the top...i think they will look good when they are done..
i was just frustrated and couldnt do it. Shaun has been sick, i think i gave him the cold.. i have had this scratchy throat for days now..i wish it would either hurry up and hit me or just bugger off.. i hate this kinda in between cold feeling.
Evidently i have been tlaking about work a lot lately, i know on here too..but shaun said well maybe i should find a better job, well he ddint actually say that..but he meant a job where i wont have stress and that..
last night i kinda hurt my back with all teh stocktake its sore from reaching and bending so much but also i smacked into a steal pole and hit my spine..its sore to touch it hink i will get a bruise...
i know hes lookign out for me and whats best for me, but well now i feel as though i shouldnt say anythign about work, caus ehe justt hinks im unhappy there while i was just well talkign about how i feel about things... and i said well perhaps i shouldnt apply...i dont know, but now i know i will think abotu what i talk about...
i dont know if this is even making sense..i dont know about anything anymore..
I have noticed shaun and i seem to be sniping at each other a bit...i went to his house on sunday night for dinner, it was the family and well we snipped about silly little things...on monday night his family plus my parents and iw ent out for dinner and well today...sigh and last thursday...
i just dont know, i dont know if its me making him like that or well hes got so much going on, and well besides the fact that he has just lost his mother...
how selfish i am sittin here moaning about my world and look what happened to his world...it was turned upside down in some aspects...
i dont know what to do to make itb etter
I just wish i could make it better and it hurts that i cant, i love him and i want to fix it and i cant..i feel so helpless...
i just feel so lost in myself and i dont know what to