PPC Interlude 1: There once was a Pookah...
Interlude 1: There once was a Pookah...
Meip whirled about and saw that Rose/Ross had paused in the doorway. She heaved a very small sigh of relief that she wouldn’t have to run after them, and announced, “I have someone I want to take you to see before we head to FicPsych.”
“Funny,” said Rose, with a small, wan grin. “There’s someone I was thinking about going to see, too. Tell me, who?”
“An old teacher of mine,” Meip responded. “He taught me almost everything I know about stories.”
“Huh.” Rose frowned. “I was thinking the same thing, only a teacher of mine. He was my mentor from the beginning of eighth grade all the way through the end of highschool. Forgive me, but I’m a little more inclined to trust him with my sanity than someone I’ve just heard of…”
“What sanity?” Meip questioned, arching one eyebrow. “I don’t think either of you are sane. You’re PPC Agents,” she said, and then continued on to what was important. “In any case, my teacher is a Grand Storyteller, and if anyone can fix our Sueitity, it’ll be him.”
“I’ll have you know that MY teacher is possibly the best literature teacher in my school district, as well as the best writing, history, debate, AND Latin teacher!”
Meip narrowed her eyes at Rose/Ross in a small glare. “MINE’S all that and more!” she growled, and then a realization hit her, and her lips curled into a small, triumphant smile. “And what you say doesn’t matter anyway,” she taunted, years of experience with her four brothers influencing her voice. “I have the RA.” With that, Meip grabbed the small device off the floor, dialed in the coordinates and opened a portal before her partner had the chance to stop her.
Meip watched with satisfaction as Rose/Ross fell through the portal she had opened under their feet, and a moment later she stepped in after them, landing on the crash pad in her school’s gym. She saw that her partner had also landed on the pad, which made Meip feel a small amount of pride. She had aimed things just right.
“Meip…” Rose asked, sounding very suspicious. “Where have you taken me?”
Meip smiled slightly. “The home to the only thing even marginally resembling a school that I ever saw: TEC.”
Meip blinked as her partners suddenly darted out the door. She stood up, brushed her skirt off and followed them at a much more sedate pace. She rounded the corner of the lobby just in time to see the twins dash through the door to Mike’s room. How did they know which room to go in? she wondered as she walked down the hall at her own steady pace. She reached the door in no time at all - seeing as the school was tiny - and made her way inside. “Hello, Mike,” she said in greeting towards her favorite teacher.
The man in question turned around, revealing a portly fellow in his mid-fifties, all silver hair and beard and bright blue eyes with a look that the teacher himself was fond of calling “Bug-eyed with my hair on fire”.
“Oh, hello, girls. I didn’t know that you two knew each other. What a pleasant surprise.”
Meip smiled brightly and ventured further into the room, heading towards Mike’s side of the room. “We haven’t known each other long, Mike. But… how do you know her?”
Mike Page, gave both Ross and Meip The Look. “Once upon a time,” he began, “there was a Pooka named Rose. We have yet to find out how this story will end.”
Meip gasped, and turned to look at Rose/Ross with eyes full of admiration. “You mean she’s that Rose!?” she xclaimed. All through her time at TEC she had heard tales of the might Rose, the Rose that was a pookah that would only appear in front of the best storytellers.
Meip saw Rose/Ross start to blush, and then wince as the Words of the Real World flitted past his eyees. The, again, he winced. “I… think you need to borrow the third ‘e’ in my eyes, and fix that,” he said, offhand, before turning back to Mike, with a sheepish grin. “Actually, it’s Ross at the moment, and… Sir? We’ve got a problem. You know that… organization… you recommended? Well, we’ve both had a little… work/word related accident, and…”
Meip blushed rather sheepishly herself, but stood tall, like a Roman. “We were turned into Suethorss, self enserting Suethors at that. Halp?”
Ross pulled himself up to his full height, puffing up his chest the way that this man had taught him. “And how are we going to be wrong?” he asked himself, under his breath.
It was obvious to Meip that he was not expecting the chorus of herself and Mike answering him. “Like a Roman!”
With a grin at both of his former students, Mike gestured to a pair of chairs. “So. Tell me. What, exactly, happened.”
“Well,” Meip said, pulling up a chair and sitting down. “It all began when a young, inexperienced agent was sent out on her first mission. Her assigned partner was a young woman named Rose who had completed many missions in her time at the PPC, and was, thus, quite experienced. They were sent on a mission in the Tortall universe in a fic called, A Squire’s Pain. It was very dangerous inside this fic, with many bad spellings, poor usages of grammar and out of character antics. In the course of their journey, Ross became hungry, invoked Norton Juster, and ate a 2 that had fallen near his feet. The taste was so good that he continued eating more numerals, and shared small bits of it with his newbie partner. Not long afterwards they began feeling quite strange and exhibiting some of the same awful symptoms that makes a badfic bad. They were able to successfully complete their mission, despite increasing Sue and Stu tendencies that continued to emerge. Now that their mission is over, they decided to go to the person they thought would best be able to help them, their old teacher, and mentor, Mike Page.”
Ross perched on the table, looking from Meip to Mike. “Yeah. That about sums it up…”
Mike gave both of his former students The Look. “I see.” It was, perhaps, one of the most feared phrases in TEC history. “Now, what exactly is making the characters in this story you just told me so… bad? What is it that they are doing that’s so Sue and Stu like?”
“Well, for starters, there’s this,” said Ross, opening a hand to reveal a ball of bright blue fire, with ice crystals hovering around it. “And then there’s the fact that my grammar and spelling have been being eff - aff - influenced. See what I meen? Auck!” Ross squawked at the spelling of the final word in that sentence, and shook his head, making his now flaming red hair fall into his eyes. “And this isn’t hairdye. And I’m not wearing contacts,” he finished. “And I bleed glitter!”
“That’s not all,” Meip added. “He also began a sentance with um!”
Mike gasped, dramatically, throwing them both the “Bug-eyed, hair on fire” look. “Well then. This IS serious.” With that, he pulled a few sheets of paper out of his printer, and set them in front of the two Agents. “Looks like it’s time for a storytelling workshop.”
Meip beamed, and pushed Ross off the table. “Tables are not for sitting on,” she infirmed him, and pulled a pencil out of the pocket in her skirt.
Ross grinned at her, pulled out his staff pen, and saluted her. “As you say, mademoiselle.” With that, he sat down, and pulled out his India Ink.
***
Meip yawned as she stepped through the portal and into their RC. De-sueification was a tiring business, especially after having put up with such a hectic first day. After Rose/Ross stepped through the portal as well, Meip graced them with a small smile, and waved. “Meep…” she said, and that one meep told them that she was tired, going to go to sleep now, and for them to have a good night.
“Meep,” replied Rose/Ross, and Meip headed off to bed, curling under the covers and falling instantly asleep.
Meip whirled about and saw that Rose/Ross had paused in the doorway. She heaved a very small sigh of relief that she wouldn’t have to run after them, and announced, “I have someone I want to take you to see before we head to FicPsych.”
“Funny,” said Rose, with a small, wan grin. “There’s someone I was thinking about going to see, too. Tell me, who?”
“An old teacher of mine,” Meip responded. “He taught me almost everything I know about stories.”
“Huh.” Rose frowned. “I was thinking the same thing, only a teacher of mine. He was my mentor from the beginning of eighth grade all the way through the end of highschool. Forgive me, but I’m a little more inclined to trust him with my sanity than someone I’ve just heard of…”
“What sanity?” Meip questioned, arching one eyebrow. “I don’t think either of you are sane. You’re PPC Agents,” she said, and then continued on to what was important. “In any case, my teacher is a Grand Storyteller, and if anyone can fix our Sueitity, it’ll be him.”
“I’ll have you know that MY teacher is possibly the best literature teacher in my school district, as well as the best writing, history, debate, AND Latin teacher!”
Meip narrowed her eyes at Rose/Ross in a small glare. “MINE’S all that and more!” she growled, and then a realization hit her, and her lips curled into a small, triumphant smile. “And what you say doesn’t matter anyway,” she taunted, years of experience with her four brothers influencing her voice. “I have the RA.” With that, Meip grabbed the small device off the floor, dialed in the coordinates and opened a portal before her partner had the chance to stop her.
Meip watched with satisfaction as Rose/Ross fell through the portal she had opened under their feet, and a moment later she stepped in after them, landing on the crash pad in her school’s gym. She saw that her partner had also landed on the pad, which made Meip feel a small amount of pride. She had aimed things just right.
“Meip…” Rose asked, sounding very suspicious. “Where have you taken me?”
Meip smiled slightly. “The home to the only thing even marginally resembling a school that I ever saw: TEC.”
Meip blinked as her partners suddenly darted out the door. She stood up, brushed her skirt off and followed them at a much more sedate pace. She rounded the corner of the lobby just in time to see the twins dash through the door to Mike’s room. How did they know which room to go in? she wondered as she walked down the hall at her own steady pace. She reached the door in no time at all - seeing as the school was tiny - and made her way inside. “Hello, Mike,” she said in greeting towards her favorite teacher.
The man in question turned around, revealing a portly fellow in his mid-fifties, all silver hair and beard and bright blue eyes with a look that the teacher himself was fond of calling “Bug-eyed with my hair on fire”.
“Oh, hello, girls. I didn’t know that you two knew each other. What a pleasant surprise.”
Meip smiled brightly and ventured further into the room, heading towards Mike’s side of the room. “We haven’t known each other long, Mike. But… how do you know her?”
Mike Page, gave both Ross and Meip The Look. “Once upon a time,” he began, “there was a Pooka named Rose. We have yet to find out how this story will end.”
Meip gasped, and turned to look at Rose/Ross with eyes full of admiration. “You mean she’s that Rose!?” she xclaimed. All through her time at TEC she had heard tales of the might Rose, the Rose that was a pookah that would only appear in front of the best storytellers.
Meip saw Rose/Ross start to blush, and then wince as the Words of the Real World flitted past his eyees. The, again, he winced. “I… think you need to borrow the third ‘e’ in my eyes, and fix that,” he said, offhand, before turning back to Mike, with a sheepish grin. “Actually, it’s Ross at the moment, and… Sir? We’ve got a problem. You know that… organization… you recommended? Well, we’ve both had a little… work/word related accident, and…”
Meip blushed rather sheepishly herself, but stood tall, like a Roman. “We were turned into Suethorss, self enserting Suethors at that. Halp?”
Ross pulled himself up to his full height, puffing up his chest the way that this man had taught him. “And how are we going to be wrong?” he asked himself, under his breath.
It was obvious to Meip that he was not expecting the chorus of herself and Mike answering him. “Like a Roman!”
With a grin at both of his former students, Mike gestured to a pair of chairs. “So. Tell me. What, exactly, happened.”
“Well,” Meip said, pulling up a chair and sitting down. “It all began when a young, inexperienced agent was sent out on her first mission. Her assigned partner was a young woman named Rose who had completed many missions in her time at the PPC, and was, thus, quite experienced. They were sent on a mission in the Tortall universe in a fic called, A Squire’s Pain. It was very dangerous inside this fic, with many bad spellings, poor usages of grammar and out of character antics. In the course of their journey, Ross became hungry, invoked Norton Juster, and ate a 2 that had fallen near his feet. The taste was so good that he continued eating more numerals, and shared small bits of it with his newbie partner. Not long afterwards they began feeling quite strange and exhibiting some of the same awful symptoms that makes a badfic bad. They were able to successfully complete their mission, despite increasing Sue and Stu tendencies that continued to emerge. Now that their mission is over, they decided to go to the person they thought would best be able to help them, their old teacher, and mentor, Mike Page.”
Ross perched on the table, looking from Meip to Mike. “Yeah. That about sums it up…”
Mike gave both of his former students The Look. “I see.” It was, perhaps, one of the most feared phrases in TEC history. “Now, what exactly is making the characters in this story you just told me so… bad? What is it that they are doing that’s so Sue and Stu like?”
“Well, for starters, there’s this,” said Ross, opening a hand to reveal a ball of bright blue fire, with ice crystals hovering around it. “And then there’s the fact that my grammar and spelling have been being eff - aff - influenced. See what I meen? Auck!” Ross squawked at the spelling of the final word in that sentence, and shook his head, making his now flaming red hair fall into his eyes. “And this isn’t hairdye. And I’m not wearing contacts,” he finished. “And I bleed glitter!”
“That’s not all,” Meip added. “He also began a sentance with um!”
Mike gasped, dramatically, throwing them both the “Bug-eyed, hair on fire” look. “Well then. This IS serious.” With that, he pulled a few sheets of paper out of his printer, and set them in front of the two Agents. “Looks like it’s time for a storytelling workshop.”
Meip beamed, and pushed Ross off the table. “Tables are not for sitting on,” she infirmed him, and pulled a pencil out of the pocket in her skirt.
Ross grinned at her, pulled out his staff pen, and saluted her. “As you say, mademoiselle.” With that, he sat down, and pulled out his India Ink.
***
Meip yawned as she stepped through the portal and into their RC. De-sueification was a tiring business, especially after having put up with such a hectic first day. After Rose/Ross stepped through the portal as well, Meip graced them with a small smile, and waved. “Meep…” she said, and that one meep told them that she was tired, going to go to sleep now, and for them to have a good night.
“Meep,” replied Rose/Ross, and Meip headed off to bed, curling under the covers and falling instantly asleep.