Things that mean a lot and nothing at all
Been a little while since my last update!
Well i've made some decisions as january is drawing to an end, so far this year has been good and the only sadness tainting it is occassional weird thoughts. Such as the fact in certain circumstances I would have been a mother right about now with a 5 / 6 month old kid. Part of this thought has arisen as I'm sat here watching one of my favourite films; Juno. I genuinely feel a bit spaced out when I think about that and I don't know if its good spaced or bad spaced but maybe relatively more I feel a little sad for how a lot of last year went. Like I was waiting for some not quite perfect but good ending. (I want a bleeker! :( )
I lost my best friend as this year started. I lost a lot of myself last year. And I missed me, a lot.
but now thats all over so....
no matter.
Hey did you know this year is the chinese year of the rabbit? And I happen to be a rabbit myself so this year is definitely mine.
I have a boyfriend now, isn't that weird? And shockingly rare for me. Its easy and I'm happy enough, not overly happy, not smitten but ok. He's sweet to me and its easy and maybe what I need at the moment?
Also I'm moving again soon! I'm sad to be leaving Jack and Liz but I kinda need to :< and its pretty exciting. Hopefully moving dead into the centre of bristol (Just off park st) so been buying lots of housey bits. going to be getting a sofa too. Its a two bed house but it'll just be me living there. I feel pretty grown up in a freaky way, and later this year i may be thinking of actually buying somewhere myself.
Maybe I'm a grown up nowadays??
When I move I totally need to put into plans the whole getting an acoustic guitar and singing again. yes? YES.
So the decisions, right, well firstly I really need and want to get back into my creative work and this will happen as soon as I move. The boy has been encouraging me which is sweet and in the last week I've had the good fortune to meet a couple of lovely guys who work in graphic design etc who also have been encouraging me to pick up my pens again and make my way with it. Work with RBS is good and steady but its now looking like just a tide over while I get myself sorted out artistically again.
In addition to this I definitely want to do a lot of good in the world this year so I'm mulling over how to place some donations in terms of charities. Me and emma are already planning an auction for funds for the RNLI which hopefully should go well, and I'm in the process of deciding how much to donate to cancer research uk. Also hoping to do a few fundraisy events too. Y'know life is about so much more then my own personal disasters and I want to be able to make a difference to someone elses life if I can, even if its something small, and its not like its a to redeem myself or feel good about myself its just something I really want to do.
There are a lot of good and beautiful things in this world and sometimes its like all of us choose to ignore that, and why do we do that? It really seems silly.
Final note, I seem to say this all the time but I can't say it enough. You. All of you, all of you who take the time to talk to me or wave a passing hello or are just there for me, you're all amazing. I feel so fortunate to have people in my life who'll laugh with me and tell me I'm awesome (though that embarasses me a little!). I hope you know I'm an open book and I'm here for you all.
2011. bring it on.
Well i've made some decisions as january is drawing to an end, so far this year has been good and the only sadness tainting it is occassional weird thoughts. Such as the fact in certain circumstances I would have been a mother right about now with a 5 / 6 month old kid. Part of this thought has arisen as I'm sat here watching one of my favourite films; Juno. I genuinely feel a bit spaced out when I think about that and I don't know if its good spaced or bad spaced but maybe relatively more I feel a little sad for how a lot of last year went. Like I was waiting for some not quite perfect but good ending. (I want a bleeker! :( )
I lost my best friend as this year started. I lost a lot of myself last year. And I missed me, a lot.
but now thats all over so....
no matter.
Hey did you know this year is the chinese year of the rabbit? And I happen to be a rabbit myself so this year is definitely mine.
I have a boyfriend now, isn't that weird? And shockingly rare for me. Its easy and I'm happy enough, not overly happy, not smitten but ok. He's sweet to me and its easy and maybe what I need at the moment?
Also I'm moving again soon! I'm sad to be leaving Jack and Liz but I kinda need to :< and its pretty exciting. Hopefully moving dead into the centre of bristol (Just off park st) so been buying lots of housey bits. going to be getting a sofa too. Its a two bed house but it'll just be me living there. I feel pretty grown up in a freaky way, and later this year i may be thinking of actually buying somewhere myself.
Maybe I'm a grown up nowadays??
When I move I totally need to put into plans the whole getting an acoustic guitar and singing again. yes? YES.
So the decisions, right, well firstly I really need and want to get back into my creative work and this will happen as soon as I move. The boy has been encouraging me which is sweet and in the last week I've had the good fortune to meet a couple of lovely guys who work in graphic design etc who also have been encouraging me to pick up my pens again and make my way with it. Work with RBS is good and steady but its now looking like just a tide over while I get myself sorted out artistically again.
In addition to this I definitely want to do a lot of good in the world this year so I'm mulling over how to place some donations in terms of charities. Me and emma are already planning an auction for funds for the RNLI which hopefully should go well, and I'm in the process of deciding how much to donate to cancer research uk. Also hoping to do a few fundraisy events too. Y'know life is about so much more then my own personal disasters and I want to be able to make a difference to someone elses life if I can, even if its something small, and its not like its a to redeem myself or feel good about myself its just something I really want to do.
There are a lot of good and beautiful things in this world and sometimes its like all of us choose to ignore that, and why do we do that? It really seems silly.
Final note, I seem to say this all the time but I can't say it enough. You. All of you, all of you who take the time to talk to me or wave a passing hello or are just there for me, you're all amazing. I feel so fortunate to have people in my life who'll laugh with me and tell me I'm awesome (though that embarasses me a little!). I hope you know I'm an open book and I'm here for you all.
2011. bring it on.