THAT WAS TERRIBLE. WHAT IS THIS CRAP? -RANTRANTRANTRANTRANTRANT-
YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU.
I already gave you my review of this but I'll give you a little more. I think you made Mai's reaction to Zuko being home just about perfect, but with Zuko.. he's supposed to love her right? SHOW IT. There's hints of it but...
Don't make it mushy just... give it more heart.
And that last line is silly like I told you earlier :3
Also the way you started it doesn't seem quite right for the beginning of a story. It's more something for AFTER you've caught the attention of the reader. Something that would have caught MY attention better was to maybe start out talking about how Zuko had perhaps missed the familiar scent of the palace and that the twisted homesick feeling in his gut almost seemed as if it were never there at all. THEN go into the reason why he was gone. I don't know.
I might just get haters from your die-hard fans for this comment but XD. And it is a good one <3
And pfft. Haters? I FORBID IT. Every reader has their own opinion.
I actually want to "hold you and never let go". This is the kind of review I look for from people but never get. D: I mean, I want to see all points of view from my peers. As the writer, I have the option of taking the advice or leaving it.
I love you. <3
Not that I don't like the comments I get from my fans. It's just nice to get an actual review every once in a while. :3
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I can totally see Mai being the terror of the palace, haha.
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And yeah. I imagine that even though Zuko is home now, it's not going to be the end of their torment.
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YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU.
I already gave you my review of this but I'll give you a little more. I think you made Mai's reaction to Zuko being home just about perfect, but with Zuko.. he's supposed to love her right? SHOW IT. There's hints of it but...
Don't make it mushy just... give it more heart.
And that last line is silly like I told you earlier :3
Also the way you started it doesn't seem quite right for the beginning of a story. It's more something for AFTER you've caught the attention of the reader. Something that would have caught MY attention better was to maybe start out talking about how Zuko had perhaps missed the familiar scent of the palace and that the twisted homesick feeling in his gut almost seemed as if it were never there at all. THEN go into the reason why he was gone. I don't know.
I might just get haters from your die-hard fans for this comment but XD. And it is a good one <3
Reply
And pfft. Haters? I FORBID IT. Every reader has their own opinion.
I actually want to "hold you and never let go". This is the kind of review I look for from people but never get. D: I mean, I want to see all points of view from my peers. As the writer, I have the option of taking the advice or leaving it.
I love you. <3
Not that I don't like the comments I get from my fans. It's just nice to get an actual review every once in a while. :3
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