(no subject)
I saw this today whilst browsing my Friend Friends pages:
UNIVERSAL TRUTHS
1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
4) You're never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 1980s has entered the digits 5318008 into a calculator.
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8) So does prodding a fire with a stick.
10) Nobody ever dares make Cup-A-Soup in a bowl.
11) You never know which part of the banana to look at when you're eating it.
12) It's impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as a school child is to call your teacher "mum" or "dad".
18) The smaller the monkey, the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has, at some stage, while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24) You never, ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
28) No one knows where their metal coat hangers came from.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.
32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
36) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
No. 28 is so true, where do they come from? It's not like you buy them. Perhaps they are some kind of alien eggs that hatch it to cable fairies*.
*Cable Fairies: These invisible sprites run around your house knotting all your electric cables together while you back is turned.... examples of their handiwork can be found behind your computer.
UNIVERSAL TRUTHS
1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
4) You're never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 1980s has entered the digits 5318008 into a calculator.
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8) So does prodding a fire with a stick.
10) Nobody ever dares make Cup-A-Soup in a bowl.
11) You never know which part of the banana to look at when you're eating it.
12) It's impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as a school child is to call your teacher "mum" or "dad".
18) The smaller the monkey, the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has, at some stage, while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24) You never, ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
28) No one knows where their metal coat hangers came from.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.
32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
36) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
No. 28 is so true, where do they come from? It's not like you buy them. Perhaps they are some kind of alien eggs that hatch it to cable fairies*.
*Cable Fairies: These invisible sprites run around your house knotting all your electric cables together while you back is turned.... examples of their handiwork can be found behind your computer.