Let me tell you about The Very Bad Thing that happened a long time ago

[missdotti]

Many many times I have sat in front of a computer specifically to write about this. Many many times, I have closed out the window, not knowing exactly how to start, or deciding I just wasn't ready. Never would I have imagined that a comedian would be the one to spark the rage enough to make these words hit the screen

Comments

[myladysilver]

I am glad you shared this with us. You are definitely full of Awesome.

When I was coherent enough to understand what was going on, I was informed I'd never walk again and I'd never have kids, and I most likely had too much brain damage to care anyway.

This is what they told my dad after he had a really bad car accident. Doctors--what do they know??

[missdotti]

I like to think of them as being like Scotty in Star Trek. Whenever something went wrong with the ship, Scotty would always overestimate the time needed to fix it. So when he said he needed three days, he always came out looking shiny when he fixed it in only two.

So maybe doctors tell us the worst case scenario so they look better and/or we feel like we are the most awesome thing on the planet because we overcame the odds.

[deep_time]

It's probably not good that my first reaction while reading this was to wish further violence upon a couple of people in your story, and I can't begin to come up with a more coherent reaction, so I'll just say you have my sympathies / empathy / positive things.

[missdotti]

I'd say the ex got all he needed to get in regards to his actions concerning me.

The other? Turned himself in two days later, spent several years in prison, and then committed suicide a week after his release. So...

[touchofgrey]

I'm trying to decide if I should feel bad that I'm wishing there was a FB "like" button for this comment... <.

[missdotti]

I'll never celebrate anyone's death.

...but there are many I do not mourn.

[nentikobe]

You are incredible.

I wish I hadn't read this before I go to bed, given my own history, but my god, I was already full of respect for you and how you live your life... I don't know how to express how much I now doubly believe that you are on this earth to give it strength and love.

I am in awe. (and horrified and proud of you and so grateful to know you and so afraid of that horror and so very honored to have read it...).

Feeling all the feelings...

[missdotti]

*hugs* Reading triggery stuff before bedtime isn't the greatest of ideas, but you have your wolf to snuggle, so I hope he makes you feel safe.

And, who knows? Perhaps I'm here to make sure the world is a slightly better place than when I came into it. I'll certainly try.

[stefanina]

You already have made the world a better place my dear.

[missdotti]

Aww *hugs*

[badrobot68]

Wow wow wow, thank you for sharing this! I'm so happy that you came out of it the awesome person that you are. <3

[missdotti]

It took time. I had many years of bitter lessons to learn before I got to where I am today.

[amanda_lodden]

Um. Wow. You are even more Awesome than I had previously suspected. And I'm glad that the link helped.

[missdotti]

Sometimes what I need the most is to see someone else put my own feelings into words, and that quote was exactly it.

You're pretty damn awesome yourself, and I consider myself blessed to have people like you, Coyote, and your husband in my life.

[touchofgrey]

I've had this open all day because I can't think of anything more profound to say than, "Oh my god..." (That, and how it's amazing that such an awful experience can end up with a person so INCREDIBLY full of awesome.)

I've been having nightmares for days now. While they're not all exactly the same, they all center around the fear that all women in our "civilized" society have to face every single day of our lives. We are not equal, we are not taken seriously, we are not valued.

That made me think of this incredible talk K and I watched recently:
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/tony_porter_a_call_to_men.html

We both had tears in our eyes at the end of that.

[missdotti]

Oh thanks, Grey! Now I'm all snotty and puffy-eyed! But that talk was definitely beautiful and needs to be spread.

*hugs* Thank you.

[touchofgrey]

*HUGS* You're welcome. It definitely needs to be seen.

I hope you don't mind that I read this to K. (He walked in as I was re-watching that talk.) He was just stunned, then went on a huge rant, and ended with saying what an incredible person you are and to send another *HUG* your way. (And as horrified as he was by the rest of it, I think you'd have loved the smirk on his face when I read that part about what you did to your boyfriend. ;-)

Even before that, though, I'd told him earlier about the Daniel Tosh thing and he said if he'd been at that show that he'd have jumped up on stage and ripped Tosh's tongue out of his mouth. He then revised it to something about grabbing a broom and asking Tosh if he wanted to see something REALLY funny... He doesn't take violence against women (real or joked about) well... (He was somewhere once where a guy smacked his girlfriend and he immediately jumped up, punched the guy in the face knocking him to the ground, and asked, "So how the fuck does it feel?")

[missdotti]

I don't mind at all that you read it to K. I think I have him friended on here, and I actually have this entry unlocked (for now).

I would pay very good money to see K go off on Tosh, or anyone who behaves like him.