I am brown, hear me roar
As am sinfully slothful, and have only short snatches of time to use the computer, and can't bear reiterating the same things to different people over and over, instead of a real update, am cutting and pasting parts of recent emails to Per below. All regard the above subject heading, more or less, lj-cut for convenience.
Sent: Thu 6/15/2006 11:10 PM
ITEM! I conclude that the mainstream culture here is incredibly, unabashedly obsessed with 'whiteness.' Literally. In drug stores, with no trace of subtley or irony you'll see all these beauty products designed to whiten one's skin, Loreal Whitening Facial Cleansers, Dove Lightening Lotions, etc. And on sunny days, everyone hauls out umbrellas, asking me if I'm not afraid of my skin getting dark [not sunburnt, mind you, but DARK, heavens to Betsy!]. "Um, I'm already dark.." I point out, and they agree sympathetically. And my grandma started sending me off to school every day with cups of some bean-soup dessert kind of thing, and one of my friends saw it and blithely explained to me in English, "Oh! These beans are thought to help make one's skin lighter, more beautiful." Magic beans, my brown ass.
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Sent: Mon 6/19/2006 12:18 AM
Anyhow, first, we went to go see The Da Vinci Code [which turned out to be a complete loss for me, as it was a fairly complicated plot in general, but additionally, a healthy portion of the important expository bits are in either French or Latin [and most of the rest was in molasses-thick accented English], and the subtitles were only in Chinese! BAHAHAhahaha, poor unfortunate soul. I will just have to read the book anyway.], and when we came back, we couldn't find her motorcycle, and turns out it got towed. So, then we had to hop a taxi to the towing lot to pay fines and be hassled, and while I was waiting for her to sort it out, one of the lot attendants gruffly motioned me over to a shaded area so I wouldn't melt away in the sun. He said something in Taiwanese, which I didn't understand, then he tried Chinese, and asked me where I was from and stuff [I swear, everyone here has foreigner-radar, and can immediately sniff out that I'm not from around here, even when I haven't given myself away by speaking. My mom says its the same with her even, that they can tell that she's lived outside of the country for a long time], and it was hilarious and slightly shocking when he just came out and bluntly asked me in Chinese, "HRRRMM, WHY ARE YOU SO BLACK?" He could've possibly also meant "dark", but the word he used as I learned it in class is literally "black." [wtf? There are literally thousands of Southeast Asians all over the city who are much darker than me, I don't get it?!?!?] So anyway, I bewilderedly explained myself, and my parents, and his eyebrows disappeared into his hairline in surprise, and he bellowed about my being "an African!" at a few of his passing coworkers, and my cousin, who smiled and nodded and dragged me away.
Yarrrrrr, sometimes I really can't tell whether people think I'm unique or an abomination. Eritreans and Taiwanese/Chinese folks are both notoriously conservative in terms of cultural 'cross-breeding', and a couple times, people flat out think I'm making things up when I tell them about my folks, because it's just so unheardof to them. And I lay the blame for my confusion directly at my parents' feet, as they'd always assure me when people would look at me funny, that "Oh, they're staring at you because they think you're pretty! That you're special! That you're unique!" And it could be a possibility in some cases, as a couple of people here have told me about the Chinese term used for mixed kids, "huan xue er" [say: HWUN-SHUEH-ARR], following it up with telling me how many people in Taiwan think mixed kids are special, and beautiful, and intelligent because of hybrid vigor and all that. But this sounds an awful lot like the stuff my folks feed me, AASLKFDFHJG.
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Sent: Tue 6/20/2006 11:40 PM
Additionally!
I have single-handedly cracked the case of the Azn-nappiness trend!!!! Well.. I got by with a little help from my friends, but I single-handedly asked them!!
So, all students in high school and below over here are obligated to wear school uniforms [whether in private or public schooling], and are not allowed to drastically alter their hair [according to Mom, back in the day all girls (and boys??) even had to have the same bowl haircut, horrors!!!], a la dying or perming. And, the second they graduate/are released from their coiffure constrainment, they run out to 'individualize' themselves [..by all getting the same hairstyle...?] by coloring and perming the bejesus out of their hair! Thus, it's "a sign of maturity," my sources enthuse, an expression of independence and individuality. And anyone around the world can relate to that sentiment!
Man! In the world of academia, fashion and trends are sorely trivialized, but it's a pretty darn crucial gauge of historical circumstances in my book. Now I just have to delicately bring about the indelicate issue of skin... Apparently, you can't just go around defensively hollering "IS IT BECAUSE I'M BROWNISH!!!!!!1111oneone" when people look at you funny.
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Sent: Tue 6/27/2006 11:44 PM
Wellll, all I can say to you is thank your lucky stars that your troubles regard people thinking you're too hotsauce, rather than everyone you meet behaving like you're too dark to be alive. The most I ever get here are backhanded compliments like at this one temple, this older lady selling books was all, "Oooh, are you Phillipina? You're so pretty! And not too dark, like other foreigners!" or my own bloody grandma, "Oh, right now you're still okay, but don't get any darker. Doesn't look good! See how light your uncle is? Your cousin's starting to get dark though..." Or some of my friends here wailing, "Fool, put on sunscreen before you're tanned beyond all repairrrrrrr..!"
I try to remain as defiant and brown as ever, but they're gradually chipping away at my confidence and very souuuul, and I feel like a repulsive, burnt dumpling that no one wants to eat.
Sent: Thu 6/15/2006 11:10 PM
ITEM! I conclude that the mainstream culture here is incredibly, unabashedly obsessed with 'whiteness.' Literally. In drug stores, with no trace of subtley or irony you'll see all these beauty products designed to whiten one's skin, Loreal Whitening Facial Cleansers, Dove Lightening Lotions, etc. And on sunny days, everyone hauls out umbrellas, asking me if I'm not afraid of my skin getting dark [not sunburnt, mind you, but DARK, heavens to Betsy!]. "Um, I'm already dark.." I point out, and they agree sympathetically. And my grandma started sending me off to school every day with cups of some bean-soup dessert kind of thing, and one of my friends saw it and blithely explained to me in English, "Oh! These beans are thought to help make one's skin lighter, more beautiful." Magic beans, my brown ass.
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Sent: Mon 6/19/2006 12:18 AM
Anyhow, first, we went to go see The Da Vinci Code [which turned out to be a complete loss for me, as it was a fairly complicated plot in general, but additionally, a healthy portion of the important expository bits are in either French or Latin [and most of the rest was in molasses-thick accented English], and the subtitles were only in Chinese! BAHAHAhahaha, poor unfortunate soul. I will just have to read the book anyway.], and when we came back, we couldn't find her motorcycle, and turns out it got towed. So, then we had to hop a taxi to the towing lot to pay fines and be hassled, and while I was waiting for her to sort it out, one of the lot attendants gruffly motioned me over to a shaded area so I wouldn't melt away in the sun. He said something in Taiwanese, which I didn't understand, then he tried Chinese, and asked me where I was from and stuff [I swear, everyone here has foreigner-radar, and can immediately sniff out that I'm not from around here, even when I haven't given myself away by speaking. My mom says its the same with her even, that they can tell that she's lived outside of the country for a long time], and it was hilarious and slightly shocking when he just came out and bluntly asked me in Chinese, "HRRRMM, WHY ARE YOU SO BLACK?" He could've possibly also meant "dark", but the word he used as I learned it in class is literally "black." [wtf? There are literally thousands of Southeast Asians all over the city who are much darker than me, I don't get it?!?!?] So anyway, I bewilderedly explained myself, and my parents, and his eyebrows disappeared into his hairline in surprise, and he bellowed about my being "an African!" at a few of his passing coworkers, and my cousin, who smiled and nodded and dragged me away.
Yarrrrrr, sometimes I really can't tell whether people think I'm unique or an abomination. Eritreans and Taiwanese/Chinese folks are both notoriously conservative in terms of cultural 'cross-breeding', and a couple times, people flat out think I'm making things up when I tell them about my folks, because it's just so unheardof to them. And I lay the blame for my confusion directly at my parents' feet, as they'd always assure me when people would look at me funny, that "Oh, they're staring at you because they think you're pretty! That you're special! That you're unique!" And it could be a possibility in some cases, as a couple of people here have told me about the Chinese term used for mixed kids, "huan xue er" [say: HWUN-SHUEH-ARR], following it up with telling me how many people in Taiwan think mixed kids are special, and beautiful, and intelligent because of hybrid vigor and all that. But this sounds an awful lot like the stuff my folks feed me, AASLKFDFHJG.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sent: Tue 6/20/2006 11:40 PM
Additionally!
I have single-handedly cracked the case of the Azn-nappiness trend!!!! Well.. I got by with a little help from my friends, but I single-handedly asked them!!
So, all students in high school and below over here are obligated to wear school uniforms [whether in private or public schooling], and are not allowed to drastically alter their hair [according to Mom, back in the day all girls (and boys??) even had to have the same bowl haircut, horrors!!!], a la dying or perming. And, the second they graduate/are released from their coiffure constrainment, they run out to 'individualize' themselves [..by all getting the same hairstyle...?] by coloring and perming the bejesus out of their hair! Thus, it's "a sign of maturity," my sources enthuse, an expression of independence and individuality. And anyone around the world can relate to that sentiment!
Man! In the world of academia, fashion and trends are sorely trivialized, but it's a pretty darn crucial gauge of historical circumstances in my book. Now I just have to delicately bring about the indelicate issue of skin... Apparently, you can't just go around defensively hollering "IS IT BECAUSE I'M BROWNISH!!!!!!1111oneone" when people look at you funny.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sent: Tue 6/27/2006 11:44 PM
Wellll, all I can say to you is thank your lucky stars that your troubles regard people thinking you're too hotsauce, rather than everyone you meet behaving like you're too dark to be alive. The most I ever get here are backhanded compliments like at this one temple, this older lady selling books was all, "Oooh, are you Phillipina? You're so pretty! And not too dark, like other foreigners!" or my own bloody grandma, "Oh, right now you're still okay, but don't get any darker. Doesn't look good! See how light your uncle is? Your cousin's starting to get dark though..." Or some of my friends here wailing, "Fool, put on sunscreen before you're tanned beyond all repairrrrrrr..!"
I try to remain as defiant and brown as ever, but they're gradually chipping away at my confidence and very souuuul, and I feel like a repulsive, burnt dumpling that no one wants to eat.