Title: Happy Endings
Author:
missgryffRating: G
Word Count: 614
Author's Notes: Dialogue only
Summary: In which Remus and Sirius discuss Hamlet
“Ugh, I don’t like it.”
“Really, Remus, Hamlet isn’t so bad.”
“It is! Shakespeare never writes happy endings. I like happy endings, Sirius.”
“Well, yeah, they all die, but you’re supposed to appreciate it for the complexity of Hamlet’s character.”
“I can concede that. …But it’s so sad. Hamlet and Ophelia are truly in love, and he goes and mucks it all up.”
“Remus, his father was murdered by his uncle and his uncle is sleeping with his mother. The lad has good right to be a bit off his rocker.”
“Well then why didn’t he just kill Claudius and be done with it? I mean, I realize he wants to be certain that Claudius really did murder his father, but after the Mouse Trap, he is pretty clear on that. And he didn’t want to whack him while Claudius was praying because he didn’t want him to go to heaven, but honestly, he wasn’t lacking in opportunity.”
“You see, Hamlet is a very intellectual bloke. His internal struggle between the uncertainty and certainty of death holds back his action. He’s a man of faith, but is unsure of what’s on the other side, and despite his ghost-father telling him, he still doesn’t know. Yet he’s certain that it’s irreversible. So he doesn’t want to make a mistake. Plus, he’s struggling with disregard for his own life. I think that frightens him into inaction.”
“Alright. But Ophelia. Poor, poor Ophelia. Hamlet’s madness caused her madness. How could he do that to her?”
“Well he didn’t. Granted, he did kill her father and that caused and internal conflict for Ophelia, torn between her love for Hamlet and sorrow for Polonius’ death, but maybe, somewhere deep down, Ophelia wanted something to happen to Polonius and that’s why she went mad. When he ordered her to stop seeing Hamlet, she was upset, and guilt from getting her wish sent her stark raving mad. Afterall, guilt is the cause of Hamlet’s madness as well, so it’d fit.”
“Why did guilt cause Hamlet’s madness? I’d say it was anger at Claudius for killing his father and sleeping with his mother.”
“Well that’s only the half of it: Hamlet feels guilty for his inaction. He continuously chastises himself for not yet revenging his father’s murder.”
“It’s all Claudius’ fault anyway that everyone died.”
“What do you mean? Hamlet did plenty of killing himself.”
“I mean if Claudius hadn’t murdered his brother no one would have gone mad and no one would have died.”
“That wouldn’t be even half as interesting though.”
“I don’t mind not interesting when it means happy endings.”
“Well I think they deserved what came to them, ‘cept Hamlet and Ophelia of course. ‘Incestuous beast’ that Claudius was, and Gertrude was no better, marrying not two months after her husband’s death.”
“And Polonius who may or may not have enabled the whole mess.”
“Yeah. Believe me, pureblood families do not benefit from incest. Just take my dear cousin Bellatrix for example. Bad things result from incestuous pairings. Eugh.”
“Well the Blacks aren’t exactly free from inbreeding”
“I’m an exception, Moony!”
“Uh huh.”
“Hamlet is of pure, royal blood and he was the star of the play.”
“He also went batty.”
“… Not much to look forward to, have I?”
“Well you have me to keep you sane.”
“Oh dearest Moony, how would I ever manage without you?”
“You wouldn’t. … Still though, Shakespeare should have tried to crank out a happy-ending before he kicked the bucket.”
“I’m sure Mr. Roberts would appreciate your brilliant insight.”
“You’re supposed to be the one that doesn’t like Muggle Studies anyway. Can’t believe you actually read it.”
“You underestimate me, Remus.”