my soul is in japan, crying with them
It's been a long time.
Really, its been a seriously long time. I can't even believe how long its been, it almost feels surreal. Sometimes, I swear I just updated yesterday. You know, that kind of feeling. That kind of busy. To tell you the truth I feel like I have time for nothing but work and school and it's really starting to piss me off. I should expect that, but I should know better to balance my life out in a healthy manner. I miss this, these kind of things that become 'my time', 'my stress relief', 'my own little world', this fandom, the j-world. Luckily, its easy for me to check out the f-list everyday but thats about it.
Nothing has changed with me, I'm really upset with myself though. It took a tradegy in Japan to get me to write something on here. Which is the original subject of my update. My deepest prayers are with Japan, and I have not been able to take my mind off of it. Every day i'm saddened by what I see and I know I am not alone in this. I just find it so strange that everyone where I live is so graciously moving a long with their lives while on the other side of the world, someone is floating in the water waiting for someone to come and save them. They are sitting there wondering how many hours do I have left? Where is my family?
There is just so much tragedy lately, it's really depressing. In the last two years...
So, I thought about things that make me happy, that little bit of a selfish side of me coming out. Things like being relieved that my favorite celebrities are ok. I know, so superficial, but technically thats who I know in Japan, aside from other friends whom I was really concerned for. But truthfully, it is nice to hear that they are ok because then I can focus all my energy on the others who are suffering. Wish there was so much more I can do, like anyone. It's not unusual to feel hopeless, but it really is frustrating. I feel scared, feel sad, I feel a very deep sadness. It can never be anything close to how any of them must feel over there in Japan, but just for a bit to maybe allow me to get over this and become strong, I will cope with it as I normally cope with these feelings. And with that strength, maybe I can really find a way that I could help and make a difference for Japan. So, in the midst of tragedy, I write. This is for me, so I don't really expect anyone to take it wrong. I really hate that there is inspiration in all of this. So, if you may please, ignore it. Thanks.
become
by missiemae...
Earthquakes, they were so common.
So common to the point that when they came, fear was a long forgotten emotion and watching water tremble and ripple in the boundaries of the glass cup became entertainment. Then when the shaking stops, everyone moves on, back to life.
Back to the streets, where many pause until the ground becomes stable again for the thousands to keep walking to their next destination.
Back to the buildings, who sway with the world for those couple of seconds before standing straight; strong; tall, once more. To the trains, who kindly let the shaking pass before carrying their precious, tired, but precious cargo back to their loving homes.
While the shaking comes through it passes it's old friends, shrines and homes that have withstand it's spontaneous behavior and let it shake the dust off their roofs.
These earthquakes, a bad habit that Japan had to get used to, to adjust to, to live through.
And it comes again. 8.9, it's a horrifying number. It's enough to ignite that familiar feeling of fear back into the ones who tremble in it. It comes through angry, no longer a friendly whisper across Japan, but this time yelling and screaming. Screaming. SCREAMING.
Everyone wonders why.
It shakes, it's presence over welcoming its stay. It's crying and thrashing. It is so strong, the glass could no longer withstand its ripples. It falls over and covers Japan.
Everyone wonders why.
Everyone is crying, the buildings, the streets, the people...the earth is crying.
It doesn't just pass by, it takes everything with it. So selfish, this earthquake. Perhaps, it is a reminder, that it is there, that people should fear it. What a memory it will leave. What a statement.
As the water rushes through, it claims the land and the life with it, leaving its mark, covering the prayers of thousands and silencing them. How selfish, this earthquake.
It takes the light, the warmth, the hope...how selfish.
The people get it, and the nod to it's power. "We understand," they say. "We will remember," they say. They will remember it and the feeling of their own tears streaming down their face. "We will remember you," they say, as they think about the ones they love.
"We will remember you as the one who took them away with your power, your strength, your tears. We will remember." They say, as they pick up whatever is left of their broken lives up off of the broken streets.
"We will remember you." They say, as the tears continue to pour down their face. The earthquake watches them as he stomps through Japan. His footsteps are lighter with each step, as his temper finally calms. He escapes back into the ocean in shame, to hide with his guilt leaving the rest to deal with the damages.
As he slips away, he hears them call to him, asking, "Why?"
He answers, "To live."
498 words
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thanks for reading, my rant. I apologize for my absence, I really think about writing everyday and think about my f-list. I am always watching. I hope you're all doing well. i miss you guys!
And please keep your prayers with Japan.
MissieMae