(no subject)
For a good part of her life, her world had been a world of letters. A world that allowed her to say the appropriate things, to give the right descriptions, and to find the possible answers. That was until the school crush she had developed over the years transformed into something so permanent and so deep, that sometimes she could barely breathe. And she wasn’t able to put that into plain words.
She knew all the existing definitions for the terms that crossed her mind when she thought about him and what he did to her. Being who she was, she could almost repeat the synonyms, even in alphabetical order: charmed, enthralled, enchanted, delighted, mesmerized… and she could go on ad infinitum.
But she also knew how to traduce all that fancy vocabulary in expressions to resume her present situation: She was captive, ruined, taken, screwed, and fucked up.
She should be thrilled about all the obvious attempts he was making to get her back in her good graces, but she only felt upset with him and disappointed with herself, because the prat had her from the very beginning.
In fact, he had never needed to make a single bloody effort, and the unbelievable irony of all of it frustrated her to no end, because the literal meaning of what she was voicing was so radically opposite to what she was feeling that she was ready to implode at any moment.
But she was not voicing anything, at least not to him. She was showing her anger by voicing her silence, a perfect oxymoron. Another example of how she was used to translating everything into words, and the accurate image of how she could see themselves together, a rhetorical figure in which the most contradictory terms were combined. And coupled by definition.
She was as enchanted as the classification itself explained. Influenced by spells or incantations. Influenced by the ache of his gaze, his breathing, and his touch. Influenced by his presence or the hurtful lack of it. And influenced by the binding certainty that he wasn´t the person she would have chosen to live with, but he was the only person she just couldn´t live without.
Without any kind of research, he had brilliantly cast the spell that no dark magic could ever perform. He had bonded himself to her soul in the best and worst way possible.
For the rest of her life, she would be charmed.