Well...
C/Ped from tumblr, because if I try to type it again, I'm going to cry again...
I’m not freaking out.
No, really, I’m not.
I don’t think Cas is possessed, though I do think that all those malicious souls he absorbed are scrambling his brain, like Dean said, and influencing him.
I think all the comparisons to Willow, in Buffy are actually very accurate. Castiel got desperate, so he took in the souls, just like Willow, hurting over the loss of Tara, took in all that power.
That much power, and all that hurt in them, it twisted them. With Willow, revenge against the man who took Tara from her wasn’t enough; it wasn’t just his fault, it was the world’s, and a world without Tara wasn’t worth living in anyway. So she was going to destroy it. Until Xander made that hike up to that hill and told her than he still loved her, no matter what. She turned him away at first, just like Castiel did to Dean when he said he had no family. Willow fought against Xander, tried to make him stop. But in the end, him being there, and telling her that he loved her, even if she had gone all scary and veiny and was going to destroy the world. And Willow was able to be brought back. It took a long time, and there were trust issues, but she made it back, she became part of the family again.
I sincerely believe the same will happen with Cas. He’s already turned Dean away once with “You’re not my family”. Dean didn’t get the chance to keep pushing before Sam showed up, but there’s still time; when s7 opens, all Dean has to do is keep talking.
The real Cas is still in there, the same way the real Willow was still there under the darkness and pain, and he can be brought out the same way that Willow was. Dean just has to keep trying. He did with Sam, when Lucifer was wearing him, he just has to have enough faith in Cas to keep trying with him…
Because that’s all Castiel wanted was for Dean to have faith in him, to trust him, to stand behind him just once, the way Cas has stood by him, and has come every time he’s called, dropped everything to help his family.
If Dean can have a fraction of the love and faith for Castiel that Cas has for him, everything will be fine. Because under the power, and the pain, the real Cas is in there somewhere, still making that same plea he made in the warehouse: have faith in me.
And if Kripke and Co. want me to believe that what we saw is Cas, I will stop watching. I won’t stick around to see what happens: my curiosity is not that strong.
Because I refuse to believe that the man who has died for Dean, has given everything for him, and never asked anything in return until now would turn away like that, not just like that. That would be like Dean turning on Sam, for any of the number of things he’s done that might have made someone less devoted slit his throat in his sleep…
Cas is in there. It’s going to be hard to bring him back, and Dean is probably going to suffer for it, but he can do it, if he just has faith. If he just tells Cas that no matter what, they’re family, and family sticks together. That he loves awkward, nerdy Castiel, and he loves scary, God Castiel. And that if he wants to start punishing people, well, he better start with him, because maybe he deserves it.. but no matter what, they’re family.
fuck, now I’ve made MYSELF cry imagining all this, when even the fucking episode didn’t do that.
Fuck. DEAN GOD DAMN IT YOU’D BETTER FUCKING TALK TO HIM. TELL YOUR FUCKING ANGEL YOU LOVE HIM, EVEN IF YOU CAN’T USE THAT WORD.
And for the record, I’m not giving up on my ship. Ever. In fact, I ship them harder. Because if nothing else, these last episodes have proven that Castiel loves Dean, more than anything. And because Dean basically said that he couldn’t lose Cas, too.
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IDK how long it will take. I REALLY don’t think they would make insane!Cas the villain for the season, so I’m hoping that, like Soulless!Sam, it will be dealt with as a subplot rather than the main arc.
However, I thought they dragged Samless out WAY too fucking long and I hope they don’t pull the same shit with insane!Cas. Maybe it takes the first couple of episodes, maybe it just takes the premier, IDC, but don’t drag it out
I do stand by the portion of my possessed!Cas theory about whatever’s in him being the s7 Big Bad. So, Dean gets through to Cas- probably just as the Eclipse ends- and all those souls leave Cas, but they can’t go back to Purgatory because the door closed, and there’s one particularly bad one, or maybe all of them merge to make one entity, and since it’s nothing but monster souls… Well, bad shit happens. Maybe the souls decide that being God isn’t such a bad idea, after hearing insane!Cas say it…
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I just want him to be okay, and for Dean to get through to him, and for everything to be okay, and oh, God, hold me, please. I can’t take 4 months of this. I’m going to be crying for days, I know I am. Because as much as I believe everything is going to be alright… it’s still going to hurt like hell getting to that point.
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THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY MY TEARS