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[misskitty1970]

somedays I wish I wasn't married. especially the days when my spouse thinks she can control me or blame me for things that have never occured. just really upset right now, because I was planning to go by shelving to build shelves for my dolls to get them off my desk so I can actually use it, and I was going to get shelving to begin to fix our

Comments

[hitomispouken]

wow i understand you. Im married too but we are like the same type of persons. We never fight. i think you should talk to her. tell her how you feel and how bad will end up your relationship. The best thing in couples is to talk.
You should tell her that you love her and there is no women better than her. make her feel like you care about her very much. Try to do things with her like for example tell her that you want to clean up with her, or if she would like to dress up your dolls with you. Let her see that she have to change some stuff. but tell it in a nice way. like baby i love you i dont want my life without you but we have to change some stuff. never try to make her feel responsible for it. just tell her we need not you need. think about something you can try to change for better so she wont feel like im doing everything wrong.
i think if you guys talk and try to make things better talking instead of fighting you will get along much better.

[misskitty1970]

thank you for your advice, that was really nice of you. All is well, she even went with me to Home Depot to buy wood for my Shelves/dollhouse/display and complimented me on my handy work plus boasted to all our friends on how I whipped up a piece of furniture while she napped. But the doll issue, she doesn't really like them because it represents a waste of money to her (there's a history there, not with me though. We used to never fight, but we have our moments when we fight over really stupid things. It's just frustrating when you realize your life is really not your own anymore and that someone else has a say in it. I think becuase I grew up with really strict parents that any barriers set in my way get me pissed off. But all is cool with us. Thanks so much.

[absofrickinlute]

Sweetie,

I am so sorry it's like this. Your partner seems a lot like...well me. But I'm honest enough to spot and admit to my flaws, I am messy - so so messy. My partner often feels like you do.

To be honest, I hate being messy - but I get so distracted all the time.

What makes me clean up is when I go to a friends house and it's neat and lovely. Or when people are coming over to my house - family and so on.

Maybe you could take her over to the house of a neat friend, comment on how lovely their house is, and then invite them to your house a week later. I would only suggest you do this after you have been clear with her about how you feel - otherwise, it's a bit...you know passive aggressive, but I know it works with me.

When people come over, the house is spotless.

unless they are good friends =) then...they know the truth about me!

[misskitty1970]

thanks. all is cool with us, so no worries. she can live in chaos because oraniztion is a foreign word to her and she gets overwhelmed very easy. But she let me build my shelf/house for my dolls, and all is right in the world!