i'm terribly frustrated with my lack of progress and not sure what to do to make it better. i am supposed to be looking for a doctor but decided to do everything else first. started painting again today when my other project got side railed by lack of glue and string. i didn't feel like leaving the house today and am afraid that i won't be able ( Read more... )

I feel like doing something totally fucked up. Instilling the type of pain that lingers in your heart and makes your soul shrink back in terror. The urge strikes me like most people are tempted to shoot people during rush hour. What can I say? What should I say? I have self destructive tendencies that I like to keep to myself and hide in the ( Read more... )

i wish there were an easy way to sum up everything that's going on. less crazy today but stupid, stupid, useless nonsense. throwing rocks through windows. rocks through windows. and now i'm going to be yelled at for charging the parents, who will deny THEIR child's involvement. i should get paid more for this. MY TIME is being wasted by their ( Read more... )

last week was as social as i have been in quite some time. i even made new friends. NEW!!!!!!!!!! with only their help. (they did most of the work if anyone was wondering) i didn't even make a total ass out of myself. at least i don't think i did, i'll find out later ( Read more... )

people are strange. we all know this ( Read more... )

it's funny, the relitivity of life. it's not all that important but things are klipping along. i'm ready for the wedding to be over and to find time to start the life i've been talking about for awhile. i dream of traveling to spain but haven't figured out how to plan and get there. i really don't want to go alone but have no idea who i could ( Read more... )

when is the next poly meeting?

for the first time my voice is complete gravel. it goes high, it goes low, it fades out. the best part is i have no control. i honestly hope it doesn't come back til thanksgiving. longer would be better. i know that sounds aweful and will drive me crazy because i really insist on bringing my thoughts to life. but the freedom at work. not ( Read more... )

i really, REALLY, want things to go smoothly. things don't have to be difficult, i'm serious ( Read more... )

i managed to become addicted to tv again. drawn together was kind of a given, the real suprise was americas next top model. there is something about watching the shoots and then seeing the images that i find mesmerizing. the rest of the show is crap but i'm still stuck ( Read more... )