things have been brought up lately that i really don't want to deal with. if you are reading this you most likely know that i have severe intimacy issues that stem primarily from abandonment issues and fear of rejection. i cannot stand being that open with anyone and certainly not for long enough to actually have sex with someone. there are just ( Read more... )

work sucks alot. i've always known this but having to hate my job and live with my parents is a little much for me ( Read more... )

i may be hired and like, have a real job and stuff.
the really frightening thing is that if it happens i have to admit to myself that i am in fact alive and must plan accordingly.
there may be a future out there for me yet.
there also might be an art career.
can i make it go? will i fall hopelessly on my ass?
stay tuned and find out.

my lie
my misery
my tender open heart.

again i wonder, what is the point?

we are fast becoming an island unto ourselves.

i had a "nightmare" this morning that i was cast in a production of hedwig, i had no idea which part i was supposed to be playing or what i was doing. i had dreams much like this all through the night. these are what i have been led to believe very typical nightmares, i wasn't all that frightened. concerned and confused but hardly terrified. ( Read more... )

There is a moment when you realize that you are not being listened to. Like when the person you are speaking with adds to the discussion something that you stated thirty seconds earlier as if they are leading the conversation. Then it is necessary to add that you brought that up, that it is part of your point and not in fact them having something ( Read more... )

i keep changing little things about my life but i still can't seem to really step out of this funk ( Read more... )

i would spend this space making resolutions but it would be a lie and i'm tired of lies ( Read more... )