i really don't like strangers but am begining to think they may be the answer. i mean really, they can't all be bad.
they can't all be stupid and/or planning my demise. can they?

a smell. the memory of a person so strong it floats like a ghost, perhaps more real than the absent party. and now she is real to me again, no longer some idea locked in the back of my brain. now that she is real again once again i feel the empty space within myself where she once existed ( Read more... )

i kinda wanted to belong there, to belong somewhere.
there had hot lesbians and cute little houses.
there had the sea breeze and the promise of another kind of life.
there wanted me, but not badly enough to make it easy.
not badly enough to quiet the doubt in my head.
not enough to win my heart.
if i belong anywhere at all, there was not it.

days like now i feel full with the million little pieces of information that make me. that there are thousands of secrets waiting for a moment intimate enough to share. that moment may never come. what then becomes of all these little bits (which i imagine to be much like scraps of paper and notes scribbled on receipts) which are getting soggy in ( Read more... )

so i'm in the middle of reading this less than crappy love type story, when i realize that i am completely screwed and don't know exactly how to get out of these restraints. in fact i realize that i'm in serious trouble about once a week ( Read more... )

so i finally got a temp job that's lasting more than a weekend, and the amazing things i have learned ( Read more... )

it's funny how knowing something does indeed not make it practically true. it seems that reality is no match for belief, no matter how unreasonable.
but we already knew all about this. it is one of the things that makes people so damn annoying.

it's strange but all of my plans have fallen through and i feel social. the headache is preventing any kind of action but perhaps it will carry til tomorrow and i can act on this feeling ( Read more... )

please tell me what it is i want to do with my life.

i've come to believe that it is important to kiss the people you love goodbye. there has been much talk of death lately, my mom went as far as to say that i shouldn't kiss her dead body on the lips. i agreed to her request but am unsure whether or not i would in connection to other people in my life. my mom isn't someone i really feel ( Read more... )