BSG Christmas Special Picspam Part IV
Wow, I'm sorry this took forever! Freaking LJ deleted this last part, so I had to start over. Between that and RL craziness, this was a bit of a rush job. So apologies in advance for the likely half-assed nature of this!
Thanks very much to those who've read and commented and thanks for your patience with this last part!
Previously on BSG: Laura inspired the resistance with her Militant Christmas Spirit. Chief finally found some new members for his delusional little club. Bill got his rescue mission out of the planning stages. D'Anna decided to embrace Christmas in an effort to impress Laura and the Cylons attempted to Cylonify Christmas. And Lee discovered his true calling as Santa.
So Athena and the Galactica people landed on New Caprica and Operation Santa was underway. First off, Athena went to break into the Cylon Valet Parking Garage and steal all the keys for the ships. Unfortunately for her, D'Anna was also there getting keys since the Cylons were planning a Christmas Day Colonial Ship Light Show Extravaganza
D’Anna: mwahaha, I have thwarted your plan, 8 who lives on Galactica!
Athena: It’s Athena, bitch
D’Anna: I won’t let you ruin Cylon Christmas! The humans are going to stay here and love it if they know what’s good for them. The Dorals have choreographed a figure skating routine and the Simons are hanging paper chains. It's going really well!
Athena: That all sounds lame - Human Christmas involves a lot more alcohol and is thus more fun
D’Anna: Shut up, whore, Cylon Christmas is totally better! And if you shoot me I totally won’t tell you that I think your creepy hybrid bastard child is still alive
Athena: Well, you just did
D'Anna: Damn. I have all these Christmas songs stuck in my head and it's really distracting. I'm off my A-game
Athena: I wasn't aware you had an A-game.
D'Anna: Frak you, traitor! Compared to you I have an A plus game!
Athena: That makes no sense. And I'll show you A game. *bang bang* Merry Christmas bitch!
D'Anna: OW HOLY FRAKKING HYBRID THAT HURT ZOMG! Ahem. I'll use my hard-core Cylonitude to overcome the excruciating pain I'm in. How are you not more concerned about your hybrid baby! You totally blew past that stunning revelation which I delivered with great panache I might add.
Athena: Well now that I am getting out of the brig Helo and I can actually move in together and a baby might cramp our style. I’ll get back to you about that. Later!
So Athena made off with the keys and D'Anna had to hang out till a Centurion came by and put her out of her misery. And on Christmas Eve Day, The New Caprica exodus began
Tory: *Meep! Exploding stuff is exploding! Ok, just channel Laura and you’ll be fine* Ahem. ALL RIGHT YOU FRAKKERS, LET’S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD. I WANT YOU TO SHOOT EVERY CYLON IN YOUR PATH! KILL KILL KILL!
Dudes: Uh, yikes. Have you been spending lots of time with Roslin lately?
Tory: Yeah, glad you noticed! I'm just channeling her militant Christmas spirit! All rights guys, let’s go and blow some crap up. Seriously, if we do a crap job with this Laura said she'd give us all clean up duty after the Galactica Christmas party. And I think we all remember what a mess that was the last time. Especially after Chief's distillery broke and the booze started eating through the deck plating. So, do a good job or Laura will hunt you down.
Dude: If that's not an incentive, I don't know what is!
Tory: Indeed. Let's show these frakking toasters how we do Christmas, human style!
Elsewhere, Tom decided to go see how Laura was holding up
Tom: You are remarkably calm right now. It’s bedlam out here!
Laura: Yep. it’s fabulous. This is really exciting! Oh hang on... WHAT THE FRAK MAN, I TOLD YOU TO SHOOT EVERY CYLON AT LEAST 3 TIMES BEFORE MOVING ON, GODS! PAY ATTENTION! Tom, you were saying?
Resistance Dude: Sorry!
Tom: Uh...I wanted to see if you wanted some extra protection detail
Laura: Well ok, if you think it’s a good idea. I mean, I don’t know how to shoot so ... FRAKKING TOASTERS, FRAKKING DIE! GET THE FRAK AWAY FROM MY SHIP! *Two Centurions awkwardly clunk away* Zeus Almighty. Anyway, protection sounds great. Let’s get going!
Tom: Uh, where are you headed exactly?
Laura: My ship of course! You didn’t think I’d ride out of here on some random cargo ship do you? Please. TORY DON’T FORGET THAT DISINFECTANT! NO ONE TOUCHES ANYTHING ON BOARD TILL IT’S BEEN BLEACHED! You got a ride Tom?
Tom: Er, I’m good to go. I guess I’ll see you later...
Laura: Sure thing, we’ll arrange the transfer of power. After Christmas though, I plan on celebrating accordingly with the Admiral. *cough cough*. So I’ll see you later Tom and ... LEOBEN, YOU TAKE ONE MORE STEP IN THIS DIRECTION AND I WILL KICK YOUR FRAKKING FACE IN! *Leoben runs away* This is the best frakking Christmas ever!
Indeed, this WAS the Best Frakking Christmas ever, complete with 3 Christmas miracles
Miracle 1: Bill Miraculously Ignores the Laws of Physics and Does the Most Badass Maneuver Ever
Chief: WOW. I am suitably impressed! Too bad you no longer have depth perception, or this would probably look better!
Saul: Frak you
Chief: Yeah, the Admiral is seriously hardcore, just like Roslin!
ETA: This is true
Saul: Word. It's why he and Roslin are made for each other
Chief: Yes they do make wonderful platonic bffs!
Saul: Oh for frak's sake. Let's go shoot some more Cylons, Roslin will kick our asses if we slack off on the Militant Christmas Spirit.
Over on Galactica, Bill's awesome plan was going well
Bill: Laws of physics can kiss my ass My epic love for Laura can overcome pesky things like gravity and the fact that my ship was nearly a museum piece
Helo: Right you are sir!
Bill: Damn straight. Ahem. ALL RIGHT PEOPLE, LET’S MAKE THIS IMPRESSIVE! I WANT LOTS OF FLAMES!
Helo: Uh, Admiral we’re starting to get the shit kicked out of us here
Bill: Does it look impressive?
Helo: Uh... I never really learned how to read the Dradis screen...uh...yeah, this all seems impressive.
Bill: Then suck it up and go with it. I need to dazzle Laura. GET READY TO JUMP BITCHES. AND THIS HAD BETTER BE GOOD OR YOU’RE ALL ON KITCHEN DUTY TILL WE GET TO EARTH!
Miracle 2: Sam is Reunited with Kara
Kara: Dude, put me down! What the frak?
Sam: I’m dramatically rescuing you bb!
Kara: I can walk dude, lay off. Oh wait, I need to go get my kid!
Sam: What?
*runs back to Leoben's House of Delusion and Creepiness*
Kara: Yeah, apparently the Cylons did some wacky experiments and made a kid with my dna! She’s not so bad when she’s not jumping off of furniture
Sam: Uh, so she’s a little kid? Like, a baby kid?
Kara: I don’t know how the frak old she is. She’s like what, 8 or something? Ya know, she’s a kid.
Sam: Uh, she looks younger. So she’ll be living with us now?
Kara: Well yeah. She’s pretty low maintenance. Just give her some food and water, she’s like a little chia pet.
Sam: Uh, I don’t do babies. So..
Kara: Do you want me to punch you in the face? You’re going to live with her and you’re going to frakking like it.
Sam: Um, yes, I totally will. Children, hooray! I love em! It’s a Christmas miracle!
And Miracle 3: Santa Claus Comes to Town
Lee: Ho, ho ho! Merry Christmas!! Rudolph is here to save the day!
Dee: What?
Lee: I renamed Pegasus to be more Christmassy. Ho Ho Ho!
Dee: Lee our ship is being destroyed
Lee: As if, Santa’s Magical Christmas Battlestar can’t be destroyed!
Dee: Well it is.
Lee: What would Santa do.... oh I know: RED ALERT, GET ALL THE CHRISTMAS SNACK FOOD OVER TO GALACTICA!
Dee: Shouldn’t we get the PEOPLE off first?
Lee: Ho Ho Ho! Good idea, we should rescue all the elves Mrs. Claus!
Dee: You have lost your mind
Lee: OK ELVES EVACUATE THE SHIP AND CARRY FOOD WITH YOU!
Dee: Good grief
Lee: Merry Christmas everyone!!
Back on Galactica, Helo was confused. This was not unusual.
Helo: Admiral, I can’t believe we’re letting Pegasus get blown to smithereens while old and clunky Galactica survives. I mean, Pegasus was new and shiny! They had expresso machines in the break room! They had cordless phones! And automatic doors!
Bill: Shut the frak up Helo. Galactica is the shit. And if you think I’m letting my nicely decorated quarters get blown up, you’ve got another thing coming. If any ship is going down, it’s Pegasus. Now drop some more bombs or something, I want a good show for Laura.
So after all the humans had evacuated, the Cylons were left to clean up the Best Christmas Party/Epic Battle Ever
D’Anna: Wow, this place is a wreck. Dammed humans. Has anyone seen Laura?
Six: She’s gone, give it up. Quit being a psycho stalker
Baltar: Oh, look, it’s a baby! How lovely!
D’Anna: Wait, isn’t that Athena’s long lost kid? The one Laura seemed to like a lot?
Six: It’s the shape of things to come!
D’Anna: It’s my new baby! I’m adopting her! Now Laura will HAVE to love me! You guys I think I understand Christmas now! It isn’t just about mayhem and setting crap on fire...it’s about all those things plus dopey songs and adorable hybrid babies! And alcohol.
Baltar: She’s mad as a hatter isn’t she? Chip chip, cheerio
Six: She’s not mad, she’s crazy
Baltar: No, mad means crazy
Six: Gaius, what colony are you from? No one else has an accent like yours
Baltar: Yes, it’s quite odd isn’t it? Downright barmy!
Back on Galactica, the Christmas/Victory part was getting under way. Santa (aka Leeland) got off his exploding ship.
Lee: Hey Dad! I managed to get off my ship before it blew up. Aren't you glad to see me? Ho ho ho!
Dee: Yeah, he may think he's Santa now. Great.
Lee: Come give Santa a hug!
Bill: Dear gods I need a diversion....oh hey look it's Saul! Later, son
Bill: So, how's it going? I see you've lost an eye
Saul: Apparently Roslin possesses all the diplomatic skills in your relationship
Bill: Shut up.
Saul: Frak me, where's the alcohol? Militant Christmas Spirit is frakking exhausting. I need a nap.
Bill: Yeah I need to go frak Laura, so peace out.
Meanwhile, Chief was back in his element: yelling on the hangar deck
Chief: Let's get organized people! Find something to do! Quit milling around!
Dude: Uh, we're waiting for the big show
Chief: What do you mean? Seriously, why is everyone hanging around? Go set up the Christmas Distillery!
Dude: Stuff it man, we're waiting for Roslin to get here and be epically reunited with the Admiral! Ten bucks say they start making out on the spot
Dude 2: I'll take that action! I say they'll hold off till they make it to the hallway
Chief: What...but...platonic...why
Dude: Didn't you know they are super seekritly together and frakking? It's super hot. And romantic and crap, whatever. Mainly hot.
Chief: Well they're kind of like my parents but... I guess... it really IS epically romantic! They are madly in love!
Crowd: Duh
Chief: But they are still very old fashioned and hold hands! Nothing weird.
ETA: It's a partial Christmas miracle, hooray!
Elsewhere, Kara got a Christmas surprise.
Lady: Mah, babeh!
Kara: Wait what? What the frak, I was all set to feed and occasionally spend time with this thing! You mean I'm not a mom?
Lady: Nope
Sam: It's a Christmas miracle! I mean, uh, that's really sad.
Kara Well... I guess that means I can go back to being an emo, frakked up, badass, hotshot pilot. I am ok with that.
Before he could find Laura, Adama had to contend with the adoring crowd
Crowd: ADAMA ADAMA ADAMA!!
Bill: Yes, go me. Thanks people. Where the frak is Laura?
Lee: Listen Dee they are cheering for me! Everyone loves Santa! Ho ho ho!
Dee: They are cheering your dad, Lee.
Lee: Nope it’s all for me. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
Dee: It’s still daytime, Lee.
Lee: Semantics, ho ho ho. Now where are the cookies?
Over on Colonial One, Laura and Tory were taking stock of the situation
Laura: Ah, it’s good to be back. I’ve missed my Chair of Power.
Tory: It’s good to see you back in power ma’am! This is the best day of my life. It’s a Frakking Christmas miracle! *sniff*
Laura: *is teary* Yes, it’s pretty amazing. By the way, where is Hera?
Tory: Er....
Laura: Oh, frakking Sam. I told him to let actual marines guard her and not pyramid players, but does anyone ever listen to me? Remind me to kick his ass later.
Tory: Ok ma’am. *sobs.* Just don’t kick it too hard, he’s very pretty.
Laura: Tory, get ahold of yourself. It’s all ok! We’re back in power! This was the best Militant Christmas ever!
Tory: I know, I’m just overcome with emotion! It’s really strange
Laura: Well regardless, I’m in too good a mood to bother right now. I am back in power, we stuck it to the Cylons, I finally got to take a shower, I have a nice new shirt, and I’m about to have the best reunion sex ever. Now where’s Bill?
Tory: He’s sending a raptor over for you in an hour. He said he needed to get your Christmas gift ready
Bill: do,do do. I’m shaving my mustache, going to have reunion sex, do do do. Merry frakking Christmas bitches.
Thanks for reading! And a Happy Frakking Holidays to you all. :-)
Thanks very much to those who've read and commented and thanks for your patience with this last part!
Previously on BSG: Laura inspired the resistance with her Militant Christmas Spirit. Chief finally found some new members for his delusional little club. Bill got his rescue mission out of the planning stages. D'Anna decided to embrace Christmas in an effort to impress Laura and the Cylons attempted to Cylonify Christmas. And Lee discovered his true calling as Santa.
So Athena and the Galactica people landed on New Caprica and Operation Santa was underway. First off, Athena went to break into the Cylon Valet Parking Garage and steal all the keys for the ships. Unfortunately for her, D'Anna was also there getting keys since the Cylons were planning a Christmas Day Colonial Ship Light Show Extravaganza
D’Anna: mwahaha, I have thwarted your plan, 8 who lives on Galactica!
Athena: It’s Athena, bitch
D’Anna: I won’t let you ruin Cylon Christmas! The humans are going to stay here and love it if they know what’s good for them. The Dorals have choreographed a figure skating routine and the Simons are hanging paper chains. It's going really well!
Athena: That all sounds lame - Human Christmas involves a lot more alcohol and is thus more fun
D’Anna: Shut up, whore, Cylon Christmas is totally better! And if you shoot me I totally won’t tell you that I think your creepy hybrid bastard child is still alive
Athena: Well, you just did
D'Anna: Damn. I have all these Christmas songs stuck in my head and it's really distracting. I'm off my A-game
Athena: I wasn't aware you had an A-game.
D'Anna: Frak you, traitor! Compared to you I have an A plus game!
Athena: That makes no sense. And I'll show you A game. *bang bang* Merry Christmas bitch!
D'Anna: OW HOLY FRAKKING HYBRID THAT HURT ZOMG! Ahem. I'll use my hard-core Cylonitude to overcome the excruciating pain I'm in. How are you not more concerned about your hybrid baby! You totally blew past that stunning revelation which I delivered with great panache I might add.
Athena: Well now that I am getting out of the brig Helo and I can actually move in together and a baby might cramp our style. I’ll get back to you about that. Later!
So Athena made off with the keys and D'Anna had to hang out till a Centurion came by and put her out of her misery. And on Christmas Eve Day, The New Caprica exodus began
Tory: *Meep! Exploding stuff is exploding! Ok, just channel Laura and you’ll be fine* Ahem. ALL RIGHT YOU FRAKKERS, LET’S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD. I WANT YOU TO SHOOT EVERY CYLON IN YOUR PATH! KILL KILL KILL!
Dudes: Uh, yikes. Have you been spending lots of time with Roslin lately?
Tory: Yeah, glad you noticed! I'm just channeling her militant Christmas spirit! All rights guys, let’s go and blow some crap up. Seriously, if we do a crap job with this Laura said she'd give us all clean up duty after the Galactica Christmas party. And I think we all remember what a mess that was the last time. Especially after Chief's distillery broke and the booze started eating through the deck plating. So, do a good job or Laura will hunt you down.
Dude: If that's not an incentive, I don't know what is!
Tory: Indeed. Let's show these frakking toasters how we do Christmas, human style!
Elsewhere, Tom decided to go see how Laura was holding up
Tom: You are remarkably calm right now. It’s bedlam out here!
Laura: Yep. it’s fabulous. This is really exciting! Oh hang on... WHAT THE FRAK MAN, I TOLD YOU TO SHOOT EVERY CYLON AT LEAST 3 TIMES BEFORE MOVING ON, GODS! PAY ATTENTION! Tom, you were saying?
Resistance Dude: Sorry!
Tom: Uh...I wanted to see if you wanted some extra protection detail
Laura: Well ok, if you think it’s a good idea. I mean, I don’t know how to shoot so ... FRAKKING TOASTERS, FRAKKING DIE! GET THE FRAK AWAY FROM MY SHIP! *Two Centurions awkwardly clunk away* Zeus Almighty. Anyway, protection sounds great. Let’s get going!
Tom: Uh, where are you headed exactly?
Laura: My ship of course! You didn’t think I’d ride out of here on some random cargo ship do you? Please. TORY DON’T FORGET THAT DISINFECTANT! NO ONE TOUCHES ANYTHING ON BOARD TILL IT’S BEEN BLEACHED! You got a ride Tom?
Tom: Er, I’m good to go. I guess I’ll see you later...
Laura: Sure thing, we’ll arrange the transfer of power. After Christmas though, I plan on celebrating accordingly with the Admiral. *cough cough*. So I’ll see you later Tom and ... LEOBEN, YOU TAKE ONE MORE STEP IN THIS DIRECTION AND I WILL KICK YOUR FRAKKING FACE IN! *Leoben runs away* This is the best frakking Christmas ever!
Indeed, this WAS the Best Frakking Christmas ever, complete with 3 Christmas miracles
Miracle 1: Bill Miraculously Ignores the Laws of Physics and Does the Most Badass Maneuver Ever
Chief: WOW. I am suitably impressed! Too bad you no longer have depth perception, or this would probably look better!
Saul: Frak you
Chief: Yeah, the Admiral is seriously hardcore, just like Roslin!
ETA: This is true
Saul: Word. It's why he and Roslin are made for each other
Chief: Yes they do make wonderful platonic bffs!
Saul: Oh for frak's sake. Let's go shoot some more Cylons, Roslin will kick our asses if we slack off on the Militant Christmas Spirit.
Over on Galactica, Bill's awesome plan was going well
Bill: Laws of physics can kiss my ass My epic love for Laura can overcome pesky things like gravity and the fact that my ship was nearly a museum piece
Helo: Right you are sir!
Bill: Damn straight. Ahem. ALL RIGHT PEOPLE, LET’S MAKE THIS IMPRESSIVE! I WANT LOTS OF FLAMES!
Helo: Uh, Admiral we’re starting to get the shit kicked out of us here
Bill: Does it look impressive?
Helo: Uh... I never really learned how to read the Dradis screen...uh...yeah, this all seems impressive.
Bill: Then suck it up and go with it. I need to dazzle Laura. GET READY TO JUMP BITCHES. AND THIS HAD BETTER BE GOOD OR YOU’RE ALL ON KITCHEN DUTY TILL WE GET TO EARTH!
Miracle 2: Sam is Reunited with Kara
Kara: Dude, put me down! What the frak?
Sam: I’m dramatically rescuing you bb!
Kara: I can walk dude, lay off. Oh wait, I need to go get my kid!
Sam: What?
*runs back to Leoben's House of Delusion and Creepiness*
Kara: Yeah, apparently the Cylons did some wacky experiments and made a kid with my dna! She’s not so bad when she’s not jumping off of furniture
Sam: Uh, so she’s a little kid? Like, a baby kid?
Kara: I don’t know how the frak old she is. She’s like what, 8 or something? Ya know, she’s a kid.
Sam: Uh, she looks younger. So she’ll be living with us now?
Kara: Well yeah. She’s pretty low maintenance. Just give her some food and water, she’s like a little chia pet.
Sam: Uh, I don’t do babies. So..
Kara: Do you want me to punch you in the face? You’re going to live with her and you’re going to frakking like it.
Sam: Um, yes, I totally will. Children, hooray! I love em! It’s a Christmas miracle!
And Miracle 3: Santa Claus Comes to Town
Lee: Ho, ho ho! Merry Christmas!! Rudolph is here to save the day!
Dee: What?
Lee: I renamed Pegasus to be more Christmassy. Ho Ho Ho!
Dee: Lee our ship is being destroyed
Lee: As if, Santa’s Magical Christmas Battlestar can’t be destroyed!
Dee: Well it is.
Lee: What would Santa do.... oh I know: RED ALERT, GET ALL THE CHRISTMAS SNACK FOOD OVER TO GALACTICA!
Dee: Shouldn’t we get the PEOPLE off first?
Lee: Ho Ho Ho! Good idea, we should rescue all the elves Mrs. Claus!
Dee: You have lost your mind
Lee: OK ELVES EVACUATE THE SHIP AND CARRY FOOD WITH YOU!
Dee: Good grief
Lee: Merry Christmas everyone!!
Back on Galactica, Helo was confused. This was not unusual.
Helo: Admiral, I can’t believe we’re letting Pegasus get blown to smithereens while old and clunky Galactica survives. I mean, Pegasus was new and shiny! They had expresso machines in the break room! They had cordless phones! And automatic doors!
Bill: Shut the frak up Helo. Galactica is the shit. And if you think I’m letting my nicely decorated quarters get blown up, you’ve got another thing coming. If any ship is going down, it’s Pegasus. Now drop some more bombs or something, I want a good show for Laura.
So after all the humans had evacuated, the Cylons were left to clean up the Best Christmas Party/Epic Battle Ever
D’Anna: Wow, this place is a wreck. Dammed humans. Has anyone seen Laura?
Six: She’s gone, give it up. Quit being a psycho stalker
Baltar: Oh, look, it’s a baby! How lovely!
D’Anna: Wait, isn’t that Athena’s long lost kid? The one Laura seemed to like a lot?
Six: It’s the shape of things to come!
D’Anna: It’s my new baby! I’m adopting her! Now Laura will HAVE to love me! You guys I think I understand Christmas now! It isn’t just about mayhem and setting crap on fire...it’s about all those things plus dopey songs and adorable hybrid babies! And alcohol.
Baltar: She’s mad as a hatter isn’t she? Chip chip, cheerio
Six: She’s not mad, she’s crazy
Baltar: No, mad means crazy
Six: Gaius, what colony are you from? No one else has an accent like yours
Baltar: Yes, it’s quite odd isn’t it? Downright barmy!
Back on Galactica, the Christmas/Victory part was getting under way. Santa (aka Leeland) got off his exploding ship.
Lee: Hey Dad! I managed to get off my ship before it blew up. Aren't you glad to see me? Ho ho ho!
Dee: Yeah, he may think he's Santa now. Great.
Lee: Come give Santa a hug!
Bill: Dear gods I need a diversion....oh hey look it's Saul! Later, son
Bill: So, how's it going? I see you've lost an eye
Saul: Apparently Roslin possesses all the diplomatic skills in your relationship
Bill: Shut up.
Saul: Frak me, where's the alcohol? Militant Christmas Spirit is frakking exhausting. I need a nap.
Bill: Yeah I need to go frak Laura, so peace out.
Meanwhile, Chief was back in his element: yelling on the hangar deck
Chief: Let's get organized people! Find something to do! Quit milling around!
Dude: Uh, we're waiting for the big show
Chief: What do you mean? Seriously, why is everyone hanging around? Go set up the Christmas Distillery!
Dude: Stuff it man, we're waiting for Roslin to get here and be epically reunited with the Admiral! Ten bucks say they start making out on the spot
Dude 2: I'll take that action! I say they'll hold off till they make it to the hallway
Chief: What...but...platonic...why
Dude: Didn't you know they are super seekritly together and frakking? It's super hot. And romantic and crap, whatever. Mainly hot.
Chief: Well they're kind of like my parents but... I guess... it really IS epically romantic! They are madly in love!
Crowd: Duh
Chief: But they are still very old fashioned and hold hands! Nothing weird.
ETA: It's a partial Christmas miracle, hooray!
Elsewhere, Kara got a Christmas surprise.
Lady: Mah, babeh!
Kara: Wait what? What the frak, I was all set to feed and occasionally spend time with this thing! You mean I'm not a mom?
Lady: Nope
Sam: It's a Christmas miracle! I mean, uh, that's really sad.
Kara Well... I guess that means I can go back to being an emo, frakked up, badass, hotshot pilot. I am ok with that.
Before he could find Laura, Adama had to contend with the adoring crowd
Crowd: ADAMA ADAMA ADAMA!!
Bill: Yes, go me. Thanks people. Where the frak is Laura?
Lee: Listen Dee they are cheering for me! Everyone loves Santa! Ho ho ho!
Dee: They are cheering your dad, Lee.
Lee: Nope it’s all for me. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
Dee: It’s still daytime, Lee.
Lee: Semantics, ho ho ho. Now where are the cookies?
Over on Colonial One, Laura and Tory were taking stock of the situation
Laura: Ah, it’s good to be back. I’ve missed my Chair of Power.
Tory: It’s good to see you back in power ma’am! This is the best day of my life. It’s a Frakking Christmas miracle! *sniff*
Laura: *is teary* Yes, it’s pretty amazing. By the way, where is Hera?
Tory: Er....
Laura: Oh, frakking Sam. I told him to let actual marines guard her and not pyramid players, but does anyone ever listen to me? Remind me to kick his ass later.
Tory: Ok ma’am. *sobs.* Just don’t kick it too hard, he’s very pretty.
Laura: Tory, get ahold of yourself. It’s all ok! We’re back in power! This was the best Militant Christmas ever!
Tory: I know, I’m just overcome with emotion! It’s really strange
Laura: Well regardless, I’m in too good a mood to bother right now. I am back in power, we stuck it to the Cylons, I finally got to take a shower, I have a nice new shirt, and I’m about to have the best reunion sex ever. Now where’s Bill?
Tory: He’s sending a raptor over for you in an hour. He said he needed to get your Christmas gift ready
Bill: do,do do. I’m shaving my mustache, going to have reunion sex, do do do. Merry frakking Christmas bitches.
Thanks for reading! And a Happy Frakking Holidays to you all. :-)