New Caprica Picspam: The Extra High Edition Part III
Here is the finale of my New Caprica Crack Epic. Hope you all enjoy!
NEW CAPRICA: THE EXTRA HIGH EDITION, PART III!
Later: Nighttime. Also known as SECKINGS TIME
Bill and Laura continued to consume copious amounts of weed and alcohol during the evening. Laura figured she might as well go for broke, and Bill was too stoned to care. Bill had just finished an awesome solo number, attempting to woo his woman through song. It wasn't working all that well.
Laura: hahaha, WTF. I might have overdone it a bit with the weed. And the booze. And I’m not sure what was in that punch we had either. Bill!
Bill: Whaaat?
Laura: I’m practically on top of you now. In case you hadn’t noticed. So let’s get a move on here.
Bill: Shouldn’t we talk first?
Laura: No. We can later when we’re not alone and in the dark. We can talk on the phone! We can’t frak on the phone though.
Bill: Actually...
Laura: Point taken. And zomgs, why didn't we take advantage of those secure channels when I was president? Epic fail.
Bill: Ok NOW you’re on top of me. And we were busy with cylons and cancer and crap. And I actually DID take advantage of it occasionally. A lot. Why did you think I was so terse all the time on the phone?
Laura: Um, cause your pictured in the dictionary next to laconic? And WTF! This sucks - you were taking advantage of your private room and I was practically sharing a room with like 20 other people! Frakking marine guards and the press and staff and Tory... it was like a damn clown car in there.
Flashback! Cue Lost Whooshy Sound.
Flashback!Laura: WHY are there always like 50 other people in here?? Throwing stupid happy hours and being annoying. And Bill are you just going to say "uh huh" to everything I say?
Bill: *Long pause* erm... yeah. Uh huh.
Bill: Getting off track here bb. And don't mention clowns, they scare me.
Laura: Sorry bb.
Bill: Anyway, I'll make it up to you. Frequently. I just don’t want to take advantage of you when you’re stoned. I'm like, a gentleman and all.
Laura: We’re both stoned, so it all sort of evens out.
Bill: Oh, well that’s true. Ok then. Wait, did you hear that?
I LOVE KARA THRAAAAAAACE!
Laura: STFU! Moron.
Bill: I think that’s Lee. My son is super lame.
Laura: It’s ok bb, I won't judge you. Though have you considered a paternity test?
Bill: Hey now. And one last thing...
Laura: Yeah, we should probably take this inside the tent. Not that it will drown things out, but for deceny’s sake.
Bill: Uh, actually I just wanted to say that I will build you that cabin. As a symbol of our Epic Love. And where we can frak as much as we want.
Laura: Aw, That’s romantic. Thx bb.
Bill: I can work on it over the weekends!
Laura: All right, but I’m gonna hold you to that. And you'll have to leave time for admiralling and frakking. Now let's get a move on here.
Bill: Already on it. I undid your wrap like 15 minutes ago. Adama stealth maneuver.
Laura: squee.
And then there was frakking. Lots and lots of frakking.
Next morning: Laterer
Bill: Oh gods, my head. Did I say I’d build a cabin? WTF, I can only build stuff with toothpicks and model glue. Maybe she won’t remember I said that? Maybe I can find some slave labor? Or maybe I can distract her... where am I? Laura, why aren't we still naked?
Laura: zomgs, You said you needed to admiral a little this morning. So hurry up and tell Chief and Cally they can move here so we can go frak again. I'm loosing my buzz out here.
Bill: Oh right. Thanks bb.
Bill: You guys can move here. Don’t ask what changed my mind.
Cally: Great sir!
Bill: The answer is mind altering substances and getting laid.
Laura: Good grief.
Cally: haha, he’s joking right?
Chief: I hope so! Mind altering substances are the scourge of the proletariate.
Bill: All righty, I've filled my admiralling quota for the day. I'm gonna go frak some more. Peace out bitches.
Even more laterer
Bill: Bread?
Lee: NO. Can’t you see that I’m DISTRAUGHT?
Bill: Not really. I just got laid. Again.
Lee: Well now I feel worse. Thanks a lot.
Bill: Yep, me and Laura. Roslin. Or, should I say, ADAMA!
Lee: Yeah, I figured - there aren’t really any other Laura’s around here.
Bill: Just clarifying son.
Lee: This day sucks. And what do you mean, Adama?
Bill: Oh, well, Kara just eloped with Anders today. And Laura and I got secretly married at the same time!! True story!
Lee: EMO ALERT! EMO ALERT! Information overloads tend to trigger these in Lee. He will shortly be entering an Emo Fugue state.
Bill: Yeah, isn't it GREAT? I knew I needed to distract her from that cabin thing so after we'd frakked again I was like "hey we should get married since I love you and then we can have married!sex like all the time!" and Laura was like "zomgs yay! good idea!"
And then we ran into Kara and she was like "I'm randomly eloping, don't ask why" and we were like "haha, we're still kind of stoned so we could care less"
And Laura was like "let's have a double wedding!"
So we're married now. Laura and me. Kara married Anders. I made sure the priest had that straight, cause that would be super awkward otherwise.
So hopefully Laura will forget about that cabin business till Baltar like, builds a Home Depot or something. Or I can find a contractor. I dunno.
Anyway, be sure to stop by in about a week to say hi to your new step-mom. If you come by earlier we’ll probably still be frakking. Oh, and don’t tell anyone since our marriage is super seekrit and all.
Lee: EMO MELTDOWN!!
Bill: You sure you don't want any bread? It's really good. Man, am I hungry. Are you always this emo? I think I'm still high.
10 months later
Laura: I can’t believe that my secret husband ditched me here and that I STILL don’t have a freaking cabin to live in. Someone will be sleeping on the couch for a year.
Bill: I’m going to be sleeping on the couch for a year.
Frakking cylons! But it all turned out ok - Bill rescued his woman and they had reunion sexings and then Laura got her revenge a little while later when she pinned a frakking medal to Bill's chest. The end.
Hope you enjoyed this cracked out epic!
NEW CAPRICA: THE EXTRA HIGH EDITION, PART III!
Later: Nighttime. Also known as SECKINGS TIME
Bill and Laura continued to consume copious amounts of weed and alcohol during the evening. Laura figured she might as well go for broke, and Bill was too stoned to care. Bill had just finished an awesome solo number, attempting to woo his woman through song. It wasn't working all that well.
Laura: hahaha, WTF. I might have overdone it a bit with the weed. And the booze. And I’m not sure what was in that punch we had either. Bill!
Bill: Whaaat?
Laura: I’m practically on top of you now. In case you hadn’t noticed. So let’s get a move on here.
Bill: Shouldn’t we talk first?
Laura: No. We can later when we’re not alone and in the dark. We can talk on the phone! We can’t frak on the phone though.
Bill: Actually...
Laura: Point taken. And zomgs, why didn't we take advantage of those secure channels when I was president? Epic fail.
Bill: Ok NOW you’re on top of me. And we were busy with cylons and cancer and crap. And I actually DID take advantage of it occasionally. A lot. Why did you think I was so terse all the time on the phone?
Laura: Um, cause your pictured in the dictionary next to laconic? And WTF! This sucks - you were taking advantage of your private room and I was practically sharing a room with like 20 other people! Frakking marine guards and the press and staff and Tory... it was like a damn clown car in there.
Flashback! Cue Lost Whooshy Sound.
Flashback!Laura: WHY are there always like 50 other people in here?? Throwing stupid happy hours and being annoying. And Bill are you just going to say "uh huh" to everything I say?
Bill: *Long pause* erm... yeah. Uh huh.
Bill: Getting off track here bb. And don't mention clowns, they scare me.
Laura: Sorry bb.
Bill: Anyway, I'll make it up to you. Frequently. I just don’t want to take advantage of you when you’re stoned. I'm like, a gentleman and all.
Laura: We’re both stoned, so it all sort of evens out.
Bill: Oh, well that’s true. Ok then. Wait, did you hear that?
I LOVE KARA THRAAAAAAACE!
Laura: STFU! Moron.
Bill: I think that’s Lee. My son is super lame.
Laura: It’s ok bb, I won't judge you. Though have you considered a paternity test?
Bill: Hey now. And one last thing...
Laura: Yeah, we should probably take this inside the tent. Not that it will drown things out, but for deceny’s sake.
Bill: Uh, actually I just wanted to say that I will build you that cabin. As a symbol of our Epic Love. And where we can frak as much as we want.
Laura: Aw, That’s romantic. Thx bb.
Bill: I can work on it over the weekends!
Laura: All right, but I’m gonna hold you to that. And you'll have to leave time for admiralling and frakking. Now let's get a move on here.
Bill: Already on it. I undid your wrap like 15 minutes ago. Adama stealth maneuver.
Laura: squee.
And then there was frakking. Lots and lots of frakking.
Next morning: Laterer
Bill: Oh gods, my head. Did I say I’d build a cabin? WTF, I can only build stuff with toothpicks and model glue. Maybe she won’t remember I said that? Maybe I can find some slave labor? Or maybe I can distract her... where am I? Laura, why aren't we still naked?
Laura: zomgs, You said you needed to admiral a little this morning. So hurry up and tell Chief and Cally they can move here so we can go frak again. I'm loosing my buzz out here.
Bill: Oh right. Thanks bb.
Bill: You guys can move here. Don’t ask what changed my mind.
Cally: Great sir!
Bill: The answer is mind altering substances and getting laid.
Laura: Good grief.
Cally: haha, he’s joking right?
Chief: I hope so! Mind altering substances are the scourge of the proletariate.
Bill: All righty, I've filled my admiralling quota for the day. I'm gonna go frak some more. Peace out bitches.
Even more laterer
Bill: Bread?
Lee: NO. Can’t you see that I’m DISTRAUGHT?
Bill: Not really. I just got laid. Again.
Lee: Well now I feel worse. Thanks a lot.
Bill: Yep, me and Laura. Roslin. Or, should I say, ADAMA!
Lee: Yeah, I figured - there aren’t really any other Laura’s around here.
Bill: Just clarifying son.
Lee: This day sucks. And what do you mean, Adama?
Bill: Oh, well, Kara just eloped with Anders today. And Laura and I got secretly married at the same time!! True story!
Lee: EMO ALERT! EMO ALERT! Information overloads tend to trigger these in Lee. He will shortly be entering an Emo Fugue state.
Bill: Yeah, isn't it GREAT? I knew I needed to distract her from that cabin thing so after we'd frakked again I was like "hey we should get married since I love you and then we can have married!sex like all the time!" and Laura was like "zomgs yay! good idea!"
And then we ran into Kara and she was like "I'm randomly eloping, don't ask why" and we were like "haha, we're still kind of stoned so we could care less"
And Laura was like "let's have a double wedding!"
So we're married now. Laura and me. Kara married Anders. I made sure the priest had that straight, cause that would be super awkward otherwise.
So hopefully Laura will forget about that cabin business till Baltar like, builds a Home Depot or something. Or I can find a contractor. I dunno.
Anyway, be sure to stop by in about a week to say hi to your new step-mom. If you come by earlier we’ll probably still be frakking. Oh, and don’t tell anyone since our marriage is super seekrit and all.
Lee: EMO MELTDOWN!!
Bill: You sure you don't want any bread? It's really good. Man, am I hungry. Are you always this emo? I think I'm still high.
10 months later
Laura: I can’t believe that my secret husband ditched me here and that I STILL don’t have a freaking cabin to live in. Someone will be sleeping on the couch for a year.
Bill: I’m going to be sleeping on the couch for a year.
Frakking cylons! But it all turned out ok - Bill rescued his woman and they had reunion sexings and then Laura got her revenge a little while later when she pinned a frakking medal to Bill's chest. The end.
Hope you enjoyed this cracked out epic!