Happy Birthday to Me
Wrote this awhile back on my 18th birthday...slightly true, in some odd ways...
"Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear Jessica, happy birthday to me!"
Jessica cheered, clapping as she blew out the half-melted candle stuck precariously into a dry-looking chocolate cupcake. The room went dim. But Jessica's smile felt like it was bright enough to light up the city all on its own.
"This is the best birthday ever!" she said, to no one in particular, not hesitating to dig into her cupcake. Someone had spent a lot of time and love on it, and despite its appearance it was one of the tastiest things she'd ever eaten. "I'm so glad I get to spend it with the people I love the most!" Jessica smiled again, rocking in her chair a bit as she looked around the room. She thought about how happy she was, how loved she was, and she smiled even more. She was absolutely surrounded by those who loved her, each one so ready to help her when she needed it and to hang out with her when she just needed to escape. They knew what it was like, and she loved them each entirely for it.
"I'll never forget this," she said, quieter, hoping the admiration would carry to all her audience. After all, who could forget their 18th birthday! It was a shame she wouldn't be getting any presents this year, but she was now an adult and didn't think she "needed" as much as she had in years past. That illusion had melted away; she knew now that what she needed the most was all around her, in the love that was so great it almost stifled her. And it was the best birthday gift she could ever ask for.
As she finished the last bite of her cupcake, and licking the candle for good measure, she pulled her legs up into the chair and stared into all the corners of the room, feeling like she could almost see the love radiating into her. She smiled into her knees, and sniffed the air. It smelled like her cologne, the wild roses her girlfriend had loved so much, the natural scent of everyone she loved and missed the most. Another year had passed, and Jessica had to admit she didn't feel any different, despite being legal. But that didn't mean she didn't have anything to smile about, so she made a point of doing just that.
"Thank you, everyone," she whispered now, closing her eyes and willing her voice, her sentiment, to carry across the globe where the people she wished so badly to be with were scattered like leaves. This was what it meant to grow up, to feel everyone slipping away, to hold tight to them, sometimes in vain. But she really did love them all, and having them scattered everywhere only provided a more literal definition to being surrounded by their love, as well.
The clock in the main room started its little song, chiming twelve midnight on her birthday. Jessica's eyes blinked open, and shimmered in the small amount of light cast by the lamp on the counter. She'd curl up and fall asleep now, surrounded by the love and the scent of roses, the memories of eighteen years and the knowledge that she had so very many more to go. The best part was that it didn't hurt, not one tiny bit.
"Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear Jessica, happy birthday to me..."
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