So, i'm at work. things here are slow which is nice because i'm not used to the new systems yet. I'm catching on very quickly so far. haven't run into problems or anything. Grandma is coming today. going to aunt mary's for dinner with the family. It's been a few years now since we have ALL sat down to dinner. I get to explain to g-ma that i am not ( Read more... )

I finally watched all of Scarface. Yes.. i watched it. I didn't fall asleep this time. I didn't bother to watch the first half because i've seen it a million times. I watched from the bathtub scene on. I wish i would've seen all of that sooner. It was like god trying to speak to me. It dictacted how i felt. I need to change my destiny. I need to ( Read more... )

When you are young you take everything personal. You hold grudges and you get mad over silly things. I take all things with a grain of salt. I don't hold a grudge, I more or less forget about you. I have that group of enemies that we all know and love. they continually spread rumors and hate me to a point where they feel they need to get back at ( Read more... )

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My skin craves him. My whole body aches at the idea of his touch. I imagined myself crawling into his bed last night and cuddling up into his arms. I could feel his warm breath on the back of my neck. I could feel his hand sliding across my back. his fingers in my hair. It sent chills down my spine. I thought of how safe i would be there. I want ( Read more... )

Tomorrow i spend with Sandy and Heidi after 5 that is. It makes things difficult because i have work on tuesday. Once all the snow clears i am looking to go back to days spent with the girls. Sandy is working hard at school and Manda and Heidi have jobs now. I will be going back to work shortly. so this will limit our time together. The girls ( Read more... )

Those days get harder each year. Maybe it's because i'm older now. I went this morning to see her. I got white roses for her. I cleared away the snow and lay them down. It looked so pretty. She would be 14. I don't know how to feel about it. I'm happy for her because she never had to go through pain. to want her to have lived would have been ( Read more... )

All of this hurts so much. I've made huge mistakes. Some so damaging that i'm not sure how to ever repair them. Let's not blame people that brought me down like i'd love to do. Let's just say that i made bad decisions. Some of which were getting involved with the wrong kinda person. This is like a battle. I spend everyday thinking of how things ( Read more... )

So the rumor mill went around while in the hospital. I have done some small underground research and found that all my enemies that i know nothing of now are all still obessed with me. Do i really hold that power ( Read more... )

So on friday after thanksgiving i was rushed to the hospital. I was doubled over in pain and it turns out i had a horribly infected gall bladder. 22 gall stones to boot. So i had to have it removed. They finally went in and removed it yesterday (monday). So now i'm in a great deal of pain. worse than the infected gall bladder. go figure. I've ( Read more... )