Twas the night before a Supernatural Christmas
Twas the night before a Supernatural Christmas
by missyjack
Warnings: abuse of rhyme and metre
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all over the net
No fic was being written, neither slash, gen or het.
Yuletide stories were posted to the archive with care
In knowledge that readers, would soon be there.
Manip makers had laid down their photoshop and pics
and were dreaming of elvish princes with fourteen inch dicks
The slashers thought longingly of blowjobs and buttsex
and visions of facials with Jensen in cute specs.
They pondered the physics of mutual fellatio
And if Jared's height and cock were proportional by ratio.
The het writers bemoaned the lack of boy and girl action
In a fandom where girls were just a distraction -
Although some found readers for cunnilingus and pegging
And threesome action that left pretty boys begging.
The three femslash writers prayed for a treat
And worked on ways for two vaginas to meet.
All the Wincesters reflected on brotherly love
That sometimes was shared with angels above.
They worked out new ways to torture poor Dean
And delighted in making Sammy evil and mean.
They thought of novel means to have the boys fuck,
and really hot ways to kiss, fondle and suck.
Some invented kinks that should never be seen,
That were hot and disturbing and rather obscene.
Of extreme intrusions, that if done would perhaps,
Lead to hospital admission and anal collapse.
But always the boys were alright in the end,
They would cuddle and snuggle and Dean's bottom would mend.
Some LJ ers composed outraged letters to Eric,
With arguments obscure, or just plain esoteric.
They complained that the Show just wasn't quite what
They wanted in terms of character or plot.
But they'd tune in again when hiatus was finished
Because life without Show would be much diminished.
Many dreamed of Texans who lived under the same roof
Of their epic gay love they needed no more proof.
And their tinhats they wore with pride, as if regal,
As they remembered that in Canada, gay marriage was legal.
They just hoped for stories they could read without fearing
A certain JDM would be suddenly appearing.
But now across the interwebs, fangirls were quiet,
Not a troll or wanker could raise a stir or a riot.
The year yet to come promised fic, crack and love memes,
And two slasher pics we will watch amid much screams.
And more season four and more Sam and Dean,
And angels and demons and beings unseen.
Then merry old Santa drove over L.J.
Wishing everyone a holiday that was happy and gay.
He handed out cookies, and ponies and porn
And replaced old DVDs with ones that weren't worn.
And I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good-night."
by missyjack
Warnings: abuse of rhyme and metre
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all over the net
No fic was being written, neither slash, gen or het.
Yuletide stories were posted to the archive with care
In knowledge that readers, would soon be there.
Manip makers had laid down their photoshop and pics
and were dreaming of elvish princes with fourteen inch dicks
The slashers thought longingly of blowjobs and buttsex
and visions of facials with Jensen in cute specs.
They pondered the physics of mutual fellatio
And if Jared's height and cock were proportional by ratio.
The het writers bemoaned the lack of boy and girl action
In a fandom where girls were just a distraction -
Although some found readers for cunnilingus and pegging
And threesome action that left pretty boys begging.
The three femslash writers prayed for a treat
And worked on ways for two vaginas to meet.
All the Wincesters reflected on brotherly love
That sometimes was shared with angels above.
They worked out new ways to torture poor Dean
And delighted in making Sammy evil and mean.
They thought of novel means to have the boys fuck,
and really hot ways to kiss, fondle and suck.
Some invented kinks that should never be seen,
That were hot and disturbing and rather obscene.
Of extreme intrusions, that if done would perhaps,
Lead to hospital admission and anal collapse.
But always the boys were alright in the end,
They would cuddle and snuggle and Dean's bottom would mend.
Some LJ ers composed outraged letters to Eric,
With arguments obscure, or just plain esoteric.
They complained that the Show just wasn't quite what
They wanted in terms of character or plot.
But they'd tune in again when hiatus was finished
Because life without Show would be much diminished.
Many dreamed of Texans who lived under the same roof
Of their epic gay love they needed no more proof.
And their tinhats they wore with pride, as if regal,
As they remembered that in Canada, gay marriage was legal.
They just hoped for stories they could read without fearing
A certain JDM would be suddenly appearing.
But now across the interwebs, fangirls were quiet,
Not a troll or wanker could raise a stir or a riot.
The year yet to come promised fic, crack and love memes,
And two slasher pics we will watch amid much screams.
And more season four and more Sam and Dean,
And angels and demons and beings unseen.
Then merry old Santa drove over L.J.
Wishing everyone a holiday that was happy and gay.
He handed out cookies, and ponies and porn
And replaced old DVDs with ones that weren't worn.
And I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good-night."