Hope Hidden Tears
The nice little shop near the park had a small space of coffee booth with a nice view to the park. It usually full with couples and want-to-be-couples that share drinks and snacks while chatting happily.
Just like they once before. A month ago. Before she decided what she just did a few minutes ago. Before she left him speechless on the most left table in the booth.
To tell the truth, she is only paying back what he did to her, five years ago. When he left her speechless at the same chair and the same store.
The different is, she was smiling few minutes afterward then, but she is sobbing now.
She feels relieve that the rain showers tonight. It hides the tears she has promise herself not to be poured down. Not even when she looked at his eyes and declared.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“You’ve lied to me again, Oppa.”
“I am trying to protect you!”
“From what, Oppa?”
“Myself....”
“See, that’s why this is not working. You can’t be yourself when you’re with me. How can I be with you?”
“I love you....”
“I love you too. But this is not working.”
“What.... what do you say?”
“Goodbye Oppa... you’re my everything but I can’t be with you... take care.”
“.....”
She smiles sadly when she remembers his face when she bid goodbye.
He loves her, that for sure. She can see it in his eyes.
But he does not love himself. So he can’t give all his love to her. And she doesn’t want him unless it was a full package. Five years are a long way to go for loving someone fully.
So she asked, no, told him that she wanted to break up. Because there can’t be them if one is only half there.
She still wonders how she could do that.
She, who can’t live without him. But when she looks at her watch that clicking in the middle of the rain, she understood that something that had been taken cannot take back.
And she is not without reason to choose the outfit she has tonight. A black one instead her sunny cheerful ones.
She looks again to the shop and see him still there with his shoulders slouch a bit.
There is a small voice within her head that beg her to come back and hug him, but when the light of a passed-by car accidently showers her, she sees a reflection of herself.
And a hope that one day, if fate is in their side anyway, a full not half Lee Sungmin will come back to her life.
Till then, she will walk her own pathway and keep her hopes high.
Just like they once before. A month ago. Before she decided what she just did a few minutes ago. Before she left him speechless on the most left table in the booth.
To tell the truth, she is only paying back what he did to her, five years ago. When he left her speechless at the same chair and the same store.
The different is, she was smiling few minutes afterward then, but she is sobbing now.
She feels relieve that the rain showers tonight. It hides the tears she has promise herself not to be poured down. Not even when she looked at his eyes and declared.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“You’ve lied to me again, Oppa.”
“I am trying to protect you!”
“From what, Oppa?”
“Myself....”
“See, that’s why this is not working. You can’t be yourself when you’re with me. How can I be with you?”
“I love you....”
“I love you too. But this is not working.”
“What.... what do you say?”
“Goodbye Oppa... you’re my everything but I can’t be with you... take care.”
“.....”
She smiles sadly when she remembers his face when she bid goodbye.
He loves her, that for sure. She can see it in his eyes.
But he does not love himself. So he can’t give all his love to her. And she doesn’t want him unless it was a full package. Five years are a long way to go for loving someone fully.
So she asked, no, told him that she wanted to break up. Because there can’t be them if one is only half there.
She still wonders how she could do that.
She, who can’t live without him. But when she looks at her watch that clicking in the middle of the rain, she understood that something that had been taken cannot take back.
And she is not without reason to choose the outfit she has tonight. A black one instead her sunny cheerful ones.
She looks again to the shop and see him still there with his shoulders slouch a bit.
There is a small voice within her head that beg her to come back and hug him, but when the light of a passed-by car accidently showers her, she sees a reflection of herself.
And a hope that one day, if fate is in their side anyway, a full not half Lee Sungmin will come back to her life.
Till then, she will walk her own pathway and keep her hopes high.