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[mistaknidnteti0]

yay life sucks ass, ppl still think i havent let steph go, um i kind of hate her now, so i dont see how thats possible for me, so yea w/e...mayb i should jus say screw it and let her go altogether thus ending our friendship too, because all that all this has gotten me is a pensiant for wanting to end my life, depression, mopyness, total negativity

Comments

[behoola]

i love you mark

[mistaknidnteti0]

thanks....im just tired of loss....im tired of things having to change for stupid reasons, like boyfriends, honestly i cant stand travis now, we wer good friends, kind of, then steph came along, and now they bitch at me for still being angry, fuck them, i dont believe i hav done anything wrong, im jus getting rid of wat hurts me, and wat decides to use me for gain, and recompenses me into the trash bin, no.....sure i could hav dealt with the fact that they wer dating better if i had not liked her, and not let "some girl" get in the way of our friendship, but back then she wasnt just some girl, now shes nothing to me, and i say that boldy,( nothingness only begets nothingness), but no, not under these circumstances, she really didnt understand my feelings, i personally dont giv a dam anymore, shes just another person......who i miss awhole lot, i havent talked to her since musical ended, nor travis either, because apparently all that is their life is each other, and i choose not to hav a friend who cant make room for her best friends,

[behoola]

first off i wasnt questioning you.
secondly, i think that you shouldnt date right now. b/c to me, if god had wanted you to date steph or erika, you would be dating them right now. and your not.
if erika doesnt want to date, well then try and forget about her, you let yourself emerge to deep and then you cant stop it. you have to tell yourself no when everything says yes. it sux, and i sound like a heartless bitch, but it always ends up being the right thing for me. you should respect her honesty and respect for you, she cares enough to say hey, i dont want to date right now, and i dont want to put us in a comprimising situationa dn i dont want jeopardize our past and present friendship. so just take it easy and let things happen.

im praying for you, and im hear when you need to talk!

[mistaknidnteti0]

thanks you, im sry if i was snappy, i jus needed an affirmation, i lov honesty, yea, i jus havent bitched about ne of it in a while and i figured soon was good, lol...im such a hypocrite i just got off the phone with errika, haha.....guess my chances arent all fucked...yaya.....ne ways....lol...i agree with the emerging, but third time is a charm, iv already learned to cope and how to not emerge myself, while being more than a friend to them, so its all good, somehow i knew something from the beginning wasnt right between me and steph, thus the depth of my emergence led me to believe that i was insignificant, and blablablablablablablablablablabla, i completely respect errikas decisions, in fact iv taken her advice to heart, i mean shoot, y kill urself over something stupid, that isnt going to do nething but make u bitter later, u can sav all that for wen u are really trying to convince someone of ur lov for them....sry again i just lov to bitch about pointless things....lol.....i lov takin it easy, NO WORRIES, and i lov it.....shoot

[mistaknidnteti0]

lov u too....