Living in a dream...
I haven't slept all night. It's a massive problem to me because I have an exam [well two] today, one after the other and they start at 9.00. It's shitting me because I have hardly revised for them and it suddenly dawned on me that I know nothing. But apart from that the weekend was quite good. Had a BBQ at home on Sunday and some family friends came over. We hadn't seen them for a bit and so it was good to catch up, although I was revising mostly. Plus they don't have anyone my age which sucks in a sense. I really need people to talk to. I mean, fine I have my friends here, my girlfriend at home but, I want to speak to people I haven't seen or spoken to in a while. I dunno why, I just want to talk and talk and talk. It might be influences from the councilling sessions I had that might be coming along.
Anyways, previous I was going on about how I am addicted to downloading music. Well, I managed to download 7 GB of music in one week. That's impressive, and whats worse is that I haven't even listened to a lot of it. I seemed to have stayed around Story of the Year, Thursday, Yellowcard, Something Corporate and others which I'm familiar to. I need to find some good Emo bands that aren't so much in the lime light. I dunno, I don't always want popular bands. It's not my thing. I just like experimenting with music, hence why I have such a huge taste compared to anyone in my year, and possibly school. Fine so I don't have the most music. My longest friend Nick does. But he only listens to Rap, because I follows everyone else [trust me, if you look at him you wouldn't think he listened to it. More like... classical?] Mind you, a lot of his music is a load of crap he just ogt off other people. Most of which even I have never heard of. Maybe because it's American. I just don't know as many American bands as I think I do.
So anyways, wish me luck in the exam! 3 hours from now... I'm staying cool. I don't want to faint in the exam.
On another note, as I haven't slept all night, it did give me one benefit. I went out at 5 AM to watch the Sun rise. Just sitting there made me think of two things. Katie, and my late brother. Hell it made me cry. I miss him so much nowadays that I wish I could just hug him once more. He had just turned 12 when he died [I was 13] and I've never seen any other brothers that were as close as us. Most people separate from their brothers when they mature. but even though we weren't practically mature, we were so close. We did everything together, even got into the odd fights with each other. But what made me cry the most is that I thought, "this sunrise is for you Alex. Please forgive me for the last fight we had." The last weekend I saw him, we left on bad terms because we got into a bad fight where we were hitting each other, biting, stuff like the stuff you do when you're young. But it hurt me so bad and I can never forgive myself for what I started. I just hope he can forgive me.
I'm gonna go now. Gotta find the LJ cut online. Lates.