Chris' 21st birthday extravaganza!
Wow! I'm 21 and (as the title implies) there is planned an extravaganza of the likes the world has never seen, nor will see until the planet smashes into our bloated, dying sun!
Yeah, if you don't know me well enough by now to know that when I say things of that nature that I'm actually full of shit, then call me and we'll talk.
In case you haven't figured it out yet, I'm not doing anything for my damn birthday. Last year the best thing that happened was that my friends picked up the tab for me at Firestone... which was good, but that was pretty much the beginning and end of my day right there.
From the looks of it, what I get this year ammounts to two Airheads (the candy), a homemade birthday card (which was actually very nice) and a shot to the nutsack, which I will illustrate here:
That's my life in a nutshell right there. I also realized that I am incapable of sympathy at this point and so I would make a great stand up comedian, but a lousy gretting/birthday/christmas/sympathy/get well soon/bris/bar mitzvah/post card writer because they would all end up looking something like this:
...or this:
By the way, I took that glacier picture which is one of about twenty five. In case you want to know what the rest look like, stick your head inside your freezer and look at that frosty stuff that builds up around your ice cube tray and magnify that by about eighty billion times. Once you're done doing that, slam the freezer door on your head, hopefully decapitating you leaving your frozen head and dismembered body for your friends to find.
As far as birthdays go, I don't like getting things. I like DOING things for my friends instead. The best birthday I ever had was when I made dinner for my friends... I mean GOOD food. I poached fresh salmon. I made white clam sauce to go over a bed of pasta, the best salad ever and finished it all off with creme brulle for dessert (I don't know how to spell it, but I know how to make it). That was awesome and I didn't want anything, I just wanted to be with the people I care about and dammit all if that's too much to ask for now.
Not to be entirely negative I have to give thanks for what I've got... how about puppies? Puppies are good.
I'm also very thankful that I have full use of all my limbs and that I don't have back hair. I also have very long fingers which would be nice if I could play piano or something. But being given very long fingers and full use of my limbs makes for one of the most triumphant flip offs you're likely to see:
\
and for that I'm especially thankful.
Yeah, if you don't know me well enough by now to know that when I say things of that nature that I'm actually full of shit, then call me and we'll talk.
In case you haven't figured it out yet, I'm not doing anything for my damn birthday. Last year the best thing that happened was that my friends picked up the tab for me at Firestone... which was good, but that was pretty much the beginning and end of my day right there.
From the looks of it, what I get this year ammounts to two Airheads (the candy), a homemade birthday card (which was actually very nice) and a shot to the nutsack, which I will illustrate here:
That's my life in a nutshell right there. I also realized that I am incapable of sympathy at this point and so I would make a great stand up comedian, but a lousy gretting/birthday/christmas/sympathy/get well soon/bris/bar mitzvah/post card writer because they would all end up looking something like this:
...or this:
By the way, I took that glacier picture which is one of about twenty five. In case you want to know what the rest look like, stick your head inside your freezer and look at that frosty stuff that builds up around your ice cube tray and magnify that by about eighty billion times. Once you're done doing that, slam the freezer door on your head, hopefully decapitating you leaving your frozen head and dismembered body for your friends to find.
As far as birthdays go, I don't like getting things. I like DOING things for my friends instead. The best birthday I ever had was when I made dinner for my friends... I mean GOOD food. I poached fresh salmon. I made white clam sauce to go over a bed of pasta, the best salad ever and finished it all off with creme brulle for dessert (I don't know how to spell it, but I know how to make it). That was awesome and I didn't want anything, I just wanted to be with the people I care about and dammit all if that's too much to ask for now.
Not to be entirely negative I have to give thanks for what I've got... how about puppies? Puppies are good.
I'm also very thankful that I have full use of all my limbs and that I don't have back hair. I also have very long fingers which would be nice if I could play piano or something. But being given very long fingers and full use of my limbs makes for one of the most triumphant flip offs you're likely to see:
\
and for that I'm especially thankful.