What's up with me

[misterschmoo]

Getting settled in at Frankleigh street, for those of you that keep asking, no I have not given up on my plan to live in the country, not at all, it is simply that my job which looked to be ending is continuing at least for the forseeability future (recent events notwithstanding) and I felt that as long as my wages continued to come in that I could

Comments

[thebluerose]

*nods* yes that was the promise I made to myself as well - I refuse to compromise myself, to be less of myself than I am for the sake of keeping someone else happy.

If you cannot be loved for the WHOLE of what you are (and thats not a pun BTW) then whats the point?

[misterschmoo]

Yes I wonder sometimes if people see you not as someone who they like but someone who they like enough of that they feel if they could just change all the bits they don't then they'll be happy, this I think is fraught with disappointment.

[thebluerose]

And why is it that *we* are the only ones having to do the changing? Whats with that :(

[smallmercies]

Because. You're the woman and it's your manly duty. Just like schmoo.

No, wait, that doesn't sound right....

Personally, I think schmoo's comment/reply was pretty much spot on for marking out the boundary of the question, but at the same time that's the case with most relationships - I think a good number operate under the "I like it well enough and I can change X, Y, and Z". It's more a matter of what extremes are you (not any particular 'you' mind you (see what I did there?! Ha!)) are dealing with in any given instance that causes that change situation to stand out or not.

What I want to really know though is whether Schmoo's container/office will float when it slides off the wharf during the next earthquake? And what are the odds on it accidentally being loaded onto a ship to Vladivostok?

[el_gremmo]

A partner should be a pleasing addition to your life, not something that requires compromise and change.

[smallmercies]

Have you ever interacted with other humans? It's all about compromise and change.

[el_gremmo]

While I have undoubtably changed and compromised in the strictest sense of the words, I feel that my partner and I haven't compromised ourselves as rather we have moved forward together.

[graeco_celt]

Mmhmm and this is largely why I'm deliberately single and have been for most of my life.
(well, that and the extreme intolerance of humans, in general ;D)

[misterschmoo]

It's not that I don't like people or being around them, it's just that most of the time I like to be able to do whatever I feel like doing whenever I feel like doing it, and if I don't feel like doing anything I like to have that as an option too, even the most relaxed relationship precludes this, I found being in a relationship involves a rather large list of activities that given the choice I would choose not to, and this doesn't really go down well if every time your partner suggest an activity you say no.

[graeco_celt]

Sounds very familiar.

And I have to admit that I enjoy being on my own for a good percentage of each day, which is understandably difficult for the other person, unless they're the same way.

Add that to a number of other things (not the least of which is most people's discomfort with the idea of not settling in any one place, doing any one thing, permanently) and, really, I'm much better at being single.

[misterschmoo]

And people might say "don't you get lonely?", chance would be a fine thing, if I got enough time to myself to actually get lonely I'd be too thrilled at the spare time and what I could get done in it to notice.

But to be fair I don't really get lonely, or at least not the same way other people do, I guess when you have spent such a large chunk of your life not being left alone and being bothered by people you get a little over sensitive to it.

I mean if a week went by and I saw nobody I'd probably be keen to show someone what I had achieved in that week, but after I had showed them I'd be fine if they wandered off again.